


Remembrance

by Weasley_Adoptee



Series: Remembrance [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Fictober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2020-11-08 22:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 153,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weasley_Adoptee/pseuds/Weasley_Adoptee
Summary: Luca Fawley, Jacob's very tired Sibling, writes their brother a series of unsent letters to cope with his disappearance. Writing these letters soon becomes a crutch for Luca, helping them deal with their fragmented memories of the day Jacob vanished, as they investigate the Cursed Vaults and solve the Hogwarts Mystery.NOTE: Loosely follows canon until Year Six.





	1. The Leaky Cauldron

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm sure a million of these exist, but this will be an adaptation of my protagonist's journey through Hogwarts Mystery. This will also double as a Fictober challenge. For those of you who are here from Tumblr, welcome aboard! For everyone else...wow, you stumbled upon my fic out of the thousands of others you could have found. It's a sign! You should hang around.
> 
> A very special shoutout to @Cokebottlesanddenim from Tumblr, who came up with the excellent prompts I'll be using. Go follow them for awesome Hogwarts Mystery content! Today's prompt is simply "MC." So let's introduce my MC!

** _7/25/84_ **

Dear Jacob,

It’s finally time. I’ve been carrying my Hogwarts letter with me everywhere. Even sleeping with the letter under my pillow each night. I don’t care if that’s pathetic, I’m excited. Not...not quite as excited as I would be if you were there, but that’s okay. Times change. As long as you're not able to be here, I'll have to fill you in. So I'll write to you. When you come back, you're going to have so much reading to do. I can't wait to see the look on your face when I shove an entire file of letters in your face. It'll be great.

But enough about that. For now, today is the day. At long last, I’m going to get my school supplies. My textbooks and robes and...well, maybe not a wand, but that’s alright. I’ve got one already. Seriously, I’ve read over this list so many times that I probably have it memorized by this point. Not that I’m about to take that chance. My memory still hasn’t gotten much better since I got home from St. Mungo’s. Though I did find a Remembrall while I was cleaning my room. Maybe it was Dad's? Maybe it was yours, I don't know. But it turns red so frequently that I just want to chuck the stupid thing. But I don't. I keep it in my pocket and forget it's there most of the time. I am fully aware of the irony.

Mum drops me off at The Leaky Cauldron. She wanted to come with me, I think. I hope. To see Diagon Alley again, in all its glory. But somebody has to watch Cinder, since you didn't take him with you. The little owl doesn't get into quite as much mischief without you, but we still can't leave him by himself for very long. Not after the pea soup incident. Either way, I really wish Mum had at least opened the brick wall for me. Because I don't remember the combination needed to open it. I’ve got her wand, sure, but it’s not like I’ve ever used it before. But when I turn to remind her about the wall, she’s already gone.

Truthfully, I can’t blame her. No one really blames her. You should know that since you left, Mum hasn’t been able to keep it together. Her magic isn’t working like it used to. When she apparates, she needs grandma’s help. She and grandpa have taken over all the household responsibilities. She’s been in another world. When Grandma isn’t over, I typically make myself dinner. I have full responsibility over Mitten, now that she's joined the family, but Mitten likes it better that way. Oh yeah, I have a little kitten now. She's adorable, but also very demanding. Look...I want you to know, Jacob, that I don’t blame you. It's very important to me that you understand that. I know you wouldn’t run off without a very good reason. I just wish I knew what that reason was. I wish I could talk to you. Having you here right now would make this so much easier.

I’ve got a wand, but no magic to call upon. I don’t know how to get past the huge, brick wall. Isn’t there a spell that can open locks? Alomora, or something? I distinctly remember you using something like that to open Dad's old office when Mum wouldn't let you. Well, it probably wouldn't work here anyway. I slowly wander into the Leaky Cauldron feeling considerably helpless. With my Hogwarts acceptance letter held gingerly in my hands, I know there’s only one way out. I’ll have to ask one of the patrons for assistance - but they’re all strangers. The only friend I have right now is curled up inside my cloak, purring. Talking to strangers doesn't normally bother me this much, but I don't see a single witch or wizard with a kid of their own.

I've got to be honest, I'm amazed that no one approaches me, because at this moment I’m a small child holding a school book-list, all by my lonesome. And from what I’ve seen, the people who hang out in the Leaky Cauldron are generally nice. Dad used to stop in here all the time. But no one comes forward, so I’ll have to make the first move. Now if only I could find someone that hasn't had too much fire-whiskey.

Glancing around the pub, I search for a face that looks friendly. The barman smiles at me, but he’s missing several teeth and while I’m not proud of this, he gives me a creepy feeling, so he's out. With shaking hands, I tug at the hood of my cloak, pulling it over my head. Eye-contact gives me anxiety, so I’ll have to recruit someone’s help with the power of mumbling. Amaze them with my ability to stare at the floor. That's when Mitten gives a quiet "_Mrow..._" and paws at me. Whenever I have my hood up, she always wants to curl up inside it and drape around my neck. I don't know if anyone heard that, but I do know that Mitten only gets more vocal when ignored. How can I move her without drawing attention to myself?

Reaching into my cloak, I provide head-scratches as a temporary distraction, and the soft, resumed purring tells me my attempt to appease Mitten was successful. Gazing at each of the tables, I try to see if I could catch anyone we’re related to. One of the advantages of being a pure-blood, every social gathering has at least one cousin roaming about. I suppose I should update you on them - but the only real bit of news is that little Neville still hasn't shown any signs of magic. They're thinking he might be a squib. Well, at least he wouldn't have to get past the wall. Step by step, I make an awkward shuffle toward the backyard where the wall is hidden. I’m half-way through the door when I notice her.

Someone is moving in my peripheral vision, turning in place. I shift my head, and catch sight of a tall woman with red hair. She’s looking at me...and I don’t know what it is, but I swear that she knows I’m looking at her. But she couldn’t possibly...I mean, my hood is still up. Yet in another moment she confirms my theory, by lifting her mug in a small toast. She’s not looking at anyone else - that gesture was for my benefit. I stand rooted to the spot, and the woman gets to her feet. A shiver goes down my spine...now that she's standing, the woman seems even taller. She starts toward me, and instinct kicks in. I back up quickly, bumping into the door-frame. But the woman isn’t looking at me anymore. Reaching down, she pulls a long, thin wand from what appears to be...a holster. I’m not kidding, she has a holster for her wand. Which has no business looking as cool as it does. The more I get a better look at this witch, the more imposing she seems. Her robes almost look like armor.

The woman strides toward to the brick wall that guards Diagon Alley. I watch her tap the bricks one by one. She waits for the wall to begin rumbling, the classic signal that she used the correct order of stones, before she turns around. Without a single word, she returns to the Leaky Cauldron. Doesn’t seem to spare me a thought. I suppose she must have known why I was here and decided to help - but why not say something? Part of me wants to go back and thank her, but the gateway will close if I leave it unattended for too long. Either way, my attention is pulled to Diagon Alley.

As the bricks began to change position and reveal the cobblestone road, I glance down at my letter again. This is it. My first steps into the Wizarding World proper. Back home at Dulcimer Beach, I always felt like I had to keep my head down. Make sure the muggles didn't catch wind of our magic. You know, the Statute of Secrecy, that thing you said was a "_guideline_" rather than a rule...this is so unfair. I even miss the things about you that would frustrate me. I wish you were here to see this, because Diagon Alley is beautiful. It's mesmerizing...it's confusing. The shops go on forever. I can't just shuffle my way through like I did the Leaky Cauldron. I'm going to need a buddy...

Oh thank Merlin, there’s someone who looks roughly my age. An Indian kid with thick black hair and square spectacles, fumbling with their bag, which is bulging. How many books do they have in that thing? Maybe I can give them a hand...it’s the kind of thing you would do. I tug my hood down, giving Mitten more head-scratches to soothe her disappointed meow. This is it. My first friend. This is my moment, the time has come. I’ll write you again soon, I promise...

Love, Luca


	2. The Silver Raccoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day that Jacob disappeared, Luca experienced some sort of mental breakdown, that will need immediate care...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be slightly confusing, but this entry actually takes place before the previous one. This was the primary reason I included dates at the top. The other reason being that the Hogwarts Mystery timeline is already vague enough, so I wanted to give it some sort of structure. 
> 
> Happy second day of Fictober everyone! Today's Prompt is "The day Jacob left." Every MC has a story behind that day! Let's dive in.

** _5/11/84_ **

Dear Jacob,

Regaining awareness takes a while. At first, everything is distant. Just little fairy lights dancing behind my eyes, that look as though I could reach out and touch them, but for the moment I’m not completely sure I have arms. Or even a body to speak of. It feels as though I don’t exist, but I must exist...right? If I didn’t, would I be able to process thoughts at all? When I become aware of my own breathing, it all comes easier. The world around me takes on more substance. I’m floating on a solitary island, that I’m able to identify as a bed a moment later. I try to sit up, but that’s out of the question. It would require a spine, and the Wizengamot is still out on whether or not I have one of those. But the lights aren’t as bright as they were before. 

Jacob. In this moment I feel so alone. Like I have no one, not even myself. Definitely not you. It’s so bizarre, but even trying to picture you puts tremendous strain on my mind. Like some sort of block. But it all comes back to you, that’s something that I cling to without knowing why it’s true. Only knowing, with absolute certainty, that it’s a fact. As I return to the material world more and more, I can hear Mum’s voice, talking among others. 

“But are they okay? What happened to them?” 

  
“It’s alright Nina, he’s stable now, we just need to see if he-” 

“They.” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

  
“It’s ‘they’. Luca doesn’t use ‘he.’ You were saying?” 

“Right. Well, Luca’s stable. But you may be here awhile. The potion we gave them for dreamless sleep hasn’t worn off yet. Whatever struck Luca hasn’t caused any lasting harm, but they seemed to be in shock. We found a strange star-shaped mark on their hand, do you recognize that?” 

“Yes, that’s a birthmark. It’s always been there. Just forget about it.” 

Shock...sleep...I’m stable? Am I a horse? What a funny idea. I could become an animagus, and gallop my way back to sanity...as I linger on this amusing thought, a familiar face leans over mine. Seeing Mum in the state she’s in is what really helps me snap out of it. Her hair is a tousled mess, and her eyes, normally hidden behind those pretty purple spectacles, are red and puffy. She’s been crying. 

“Mum..” Is all I can murmur at first, feeling her hand on my forehead. 

“Luca? Can you hear me? Are you okay?” 

The room has fully materialized for me. Flashbacks run through my head of Mum and Dad showing us where they met, where they worked for as Healers for a decade...Jacob, I’m in St. Mungo’s. Something bad has happened to me. I don’t know what, but something must have. Because Healers have been examining me, and worse still, I know this Ward. This is Auntie Alice’s Ward...the place they send Wizards who go mad. 

“Luca? Stay with me. Come on, you need to wake up now…” 

  
I blink twice, gazing up at Mum. I don’t want to be here. I don’t belong here, any more than you do. I don’t care what the Daily Prophet says. I know you’re not mad. Wherever you are Jacob, don’t listen to what people say. Just keep on being as great as you’ve always been. I don't care if you were expelled, Mum doesn't care either. Just keep to the straight and narrow and don't follow your "ideas." The Birthmark does not decide your fate, okay? It won’t decide mine, either. I am not mad.

When I start to sit up, Mum lets out a cry of relief and throws her arms around my neck. Behind her I can see Healers waving their wands, staring at me with fixation. I start to notice a warmth on my chest as it moves slightly. My sitting up has caused Mitten, who had been curled up against me, to shift in place. I still don’t know what’s going on, so I ask the first thing that comes to mind. Of course, my mind is still on you.

  
“Mum, what happened? Where’s Jacob?” 

My need to ask this question is fundamental. I have to know. You are, and always will be, a given. The fact that you aren’t here by my bedside means that something is wrong. Other than my being bedridden to begin with, that is. So I had to ask...but seeing what it does to Mum, I almost wish I hadn’t. Whatever composure she was keeping collapses. She hugs me more tightly and starts sobbing. Needless to say, I’m bewildered and scared. Looking toward the Healers for help, but they conspicuously look away. Thanks a lot, mates. 

So for a while, I simply hug Mum and let her cry it out. My mind is still very hazy, but I’m functional enough to know that she needs this emotional release, and so she’ll have it. I’ll be there for her, if I can.It takes several minutes, but once Mum has calmed down she drops the news on me. The news about you. Turns out, after you were expelled, you decided to run away. 

Why did you do that? 

What could be more important than us, Jacob? Than Mum and me? Apparently you left Cinder behind as well - but what you didn’t leave behind was a note. How could you abandon us like that? If there’s a reason, then tell us...let us help. You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know. The Wizarding World is not your responsibility. As it sinks in that you’re gone, II suddenly understand the state Mum is in...one of her children is missing. And then there’s whatever happened to me. 

I don’t really understand that, either. I can’t remember anything about that day, and the Healers are mystified. Mum found me passed out after we got the news, but I don’t even remember getting the news. The Healers aren’t even sure that I was actually struck with any sort of spell. One of them, a muggle-born, suggests that it may simply be the shock of losing you. Says that her parents are syka-trists, who study this kind of thing. The other healers seem pretty dismissive, even when he warns that I’m in danger of “dis-associating.”

  
That’s when Grandma and Grandpa show up. I guess Cinder made it to them. They’re able to gently pry Mum away from me, and encourage her to go get some sleep. I wish they could stay overnight, but I guess there wouldn’t be much point. I’m pretty boring when I sleep. And once I’ve swallowed the dreamless-sleep potion, that’s about all I’m doing. 

For a while, I'm deep in some dream, a jumbled mess of thoughts flashing through my head, but no matter where my mind goes it always comes back to you. I'm taken back to a serious moment, real and not real at the same time, and you were there. That's all I can remember when I wake up. Maybe it was the night Dad died. Or maybe the time you nicked Mum's broom for a joy-ride. Either way, I feel a mounting sense of dread. Like something horrible is going to happen. What if you can't give me your news, before it does?

That's the last trace of the dream as I start to wake up. You had news for me...but I can't remember the specifics. All I know is...there was something. Something so important. But the dream slips away like the ocean waves back home. Everything just shimmers...even the dark curtains surrounding my bed.

Wait a minute. That isn't right. 

They're definitely not supposed to do that. I sit up more and glimpse something white in my peripheral vision. Mitten is staring at the curtains as they seem to break loose from their hangers. Her ears pulled back like they are when she's mad at me. She starts hissing. In this moment, I remember something else...back when Mum was here, the curtains weren’t black. They were grey. Something is very, very wrong and Mitten knows it too.

"H-hello?" I call out stupidly, now staring at the curtain as it moves on it's own. Like a puppet without strings, it glides onto my bed. Starting to advance on me.

"G-go away!"

What I do next is rash and stupid and fueled primarily by blind panic. I reach out my hand, trying to slap the living curtain away. The curtain responds. Envelops my hand into it's shadowy depths as though it had some sort of mouth. This is about where I start screaming.It doesn't do much good though. The only people in the Ward are other patients. Too damaged from spells to come to my rescue, or too mentally inept to understand I need rescuing. Which doesn't stop me from yelling out "Alice! Auntie Alice! Uncle Frank! Please! Help me!" My entire arm has disappeared into the curtain, and the other arm is quickly caught as well. It's swamping me.

"Mrow! Mroooow!!"

Mitten has leaped onto the bed and launched herself at the curtain. As tough as she is, this is other-worldly. Her attempted scratches and bites have no effect. Now, thank Merlin, this..._thing_, doesn't seem too interested in her, or in striking back. All of its focus is on me. I feel myself getting pulled in deeper as the curtain begins to encompass me. I keep my head pulled back but there's no stopping this nightmare. That’s...what it has to be right? Just a nightmare? 

But no, it feels too real for that. I wish I could describe the sensation but it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever known in my life. Not like Dragon Pox, not like using a Portkey, not even like going into Dad’s pensieve. It feels as though my body is slowly ceasing to exist. Disappearing into a void that presses in from all sides. Once the curtain catches hold, anything it touches is gone. I scream and scream but no one comes until I can no longer scream. I don’t think anything could ever be more terrifying than realizing that the curtain has swallowed my head. 

  
I’m going to die. There’s no way out. I’m going to die. I’m going to die. Vaguely, as if from a memory, I can hear Mitten howling at the top of her lungs. But while I’m sure she’s continuing her assault, I don’t feel it. I really don’t feel anything. I don’t exist. Everything is slowing down. Fading...fading so fast.

Then, like a miracle, there’s light in the dark. I can feel again. I start convulsing violently, trying to shake off the curtain...or maybe I was doing that all along without noticing. But the curtain...the curtain is receding. It shrivels like a dead flower and releases the vice grip it was keeping me in. Falling off the side of the bed. A blinding white light burns my eyes, as it dashes toward the curtain, which seems to retreat further and further, to make some kind of getaway out the open window. I want to get up and slam the window shut, but I still can’t move. I can only lie on the bed, my breathing is sharp and heavy. Barely able to believe that I’m actually alive. 

The bright light shifts away from the window, now docile. Mitten moves closer to inspect it, wrinkling her nose and flicking her tail. “Mroow?” But the light doesn’t interact with her...it shifts away, climbing up onto the nearby chair. The closer I look at it, the more I squint, the more I can make out a very peculiar shape...it looks as though it’s a creature, made entirely of light. It’s a raccoon. I don’t get the sense that the silver raccoon is going to hurt me. Though he’s definitely staring at me, I’m still pretty much defenseless after that shadow curtain attacked. Nothing is stopping the raccoon from unleashing a follow up. But I don’t think he’s going to do that. Actually, something tells me this light-creature just saved my life. Plus, Mitten seems to approve, and that about decides it. You’d be surprised, but cats have very good instincts for this sort of thing. 

  
The raccoon sticks around for a while. Grooming his paws, sniffing the air...almost like he’s guarding me. Which is strangely comforting, especially since none of the Healers ever come to my aid. None of the other patients in the Ward responded to my screams...Jacob, maybe I really am going mad, because in the morning, the raccoon has gone...and apparently, nobody heard me scream out in the night. Nobody says anything. In the end, I don’t say anything either. Part of me thinks that maybe I ought to warn the staff about the curtain, but would they even believe me? A little child, telling tales about a monster under their bed? What’s more, the silver raccoon is gone when I wake up, as if he was never there, and even worse...the grey curtains are back. As if they were never even gone. 

Did I...did I dream all that? Did I really imagine it? Jacob, do you ever have nightmares that seem this real? Are we really cursed? Dad used to say we could beat the curse, and there’s no way he could be wrong. Our fate is up to us...right? Jacob, please say it is. Because right now, Dad’s dead, Mum is having a breakdown, you’ve gone missing, and I...I’m starting to wonder if the Daily Prophet is wrong. What if I’m the mad sibling, and not you? I know you can’t write back, but I need your help. I can’t do any of this without you. Find me, Jacob. Find me. 

Love, Luca. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please, please leave your comments about what was good, and what sucked! I live on reader reviews. 
> 
> Thanks again to @Cokebottlesanddenim from Tumblr for the prompts! I hope you guys are enjoying Fictober as much as I am.


	3. Wands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca and Rowan, while on the journey to Hogwarts, take the time to get to know each other a little better. Which involves learning about each other's wands...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy third day of Fictober! Today's Prompt is "MC buying their first wand." And I'm afraid this chapter will deviate slightly from the prompt, as well as the canon in general. (But who cares about the canon, am I right?) Because for reasons you're about to see, I can't really write about MC finding their first wand. But I hope I told a good story anyway! Please let me know your thoughts, guys!

_ **September 1st, 1984** _

Dear Jacob,

“Hey, is that a hazel wand?”

I’m sitting on the Hogwarts express, curled up in a corner like the cat that I am, when Rowan drops this question. Rowan is the kid that I met in Diagon Alley, which was quite a relief because I don’t know how many friends I’m going to make at school. Our family isn’t exactly popular, and the recent rumors about you and the Cursed Vaults and You-Know-Who, well…they aren’t exactly helping.

We’re trading chocolate frog cards back and forth, trying to find new additions for Rowan’s collection. Because I don’t care nearly as much about this sort of thing, I offer to give them my collection – assuming I even have any cards that they don’t already own. I’ll have to write Mum and ask her to send them in…or else just wait until Cinder makes his first stop. Don’t worry; I won’t give Rowan the Merlin card, no matter how much they beg. That one is special, I haven’t forgotten about the day you gave it to me. 

Turns out, Rowan is really interested in wands and wand-lore itself. I break out Mum’s wand to try and open up a chocolate frog, at which point it causes a minor explosion in my face. Should have seen that coming. But as Rowan helps dust me off, they take notice of the wand, which they’re able to correctly identify as hazel with a unicorn hair. I explain that it belongs to Mum, but I immediately regret doing that because it means I have to answer two very awkward questions. 1. Why am I using my Mum’s wand instead of my own? And two 2: What was I doing in Ollivanders if not buying a wand for myself?

I think Rowan can tell when I get uncomfortable, because they quickly rescind the questions. But if we’re going to be friends, we’ll have to trust each other. So I tell them, starting with the less personal, but much more pathetic story. “To be honest, I just wanted to ask Ollivander about my brother. I thought he might have some answers, since apparently Jacob’s wand got snapped when he was expelled.”

“Yikes. What did you learn?”

“Nothing good, Ollivander wasn’t even there. We talked for a little while about Jacob, and how it felt for him to be gone.”

Rowan tilts their head slightly. “And how do you feel?”

I sink further into a little ball. Everyone has asked me this already, but I can’t fault my new friend for caring. “How am I supposed to feel? I miss him. I hope he’s okay…I just want him to come home, but I can’t even remember most of the day he went missing. Apparently I freaked out and had what muggles call “disassociation.” I guess Jacob’s not the only Fawley who’s a basket-case.” I force a mirthless laugh.

Rowan doesn’t look amused. “Don’t say that Luca, you seem perfectly sane to me. I’ve never met Jacob, but I bet he’s alright in the head too.” You know Jacob, I think you would really like Rowan. I’ll have to introduce you to them when you come back. “If anyone’s mad, it’s Ollivander. He always struck me as a bit funny…”

This gets a more genuine chuckle out of me. “Honestly, same here, I couldn’t wait to get out of that shop. But I didn’t want to leave without buying anything. It seemed so rude. So I…” Here I trail off, feeling my cheeks prickle.

“So you what?” Rowan’s brow furrows. I feel like such a poser, for what I did. But I just saw it on the shelf, and went for it. Shifting my cloak aside, I show Rowan the wand holster that I bought the day we met. Waiting for them to laugh at me. I still can’t believe I actually went through with it, but I wanted to buy something. I saw the holster, and it just reminded me of that woman. Since I didn’t have time to thank her for helping me, and I probably would have been too terrified anyway, this is my small way of honoring her.

Rowan does start laughing, but it takes a second for me to realize that they’re not making fun of me. “That’s so cool! You look like some kind of Auror, or Curse-Breaker!”

“Curse-Breaker? What’s that?”

Rowan gets that light in their eyes again. I’m starting to realize that they enjoy explaining things they’ve studied. “Someone who investigates old ruins and castles; places that are guarded by enchantments…Curse-Breakers go their own way, independent of any Ministry. Some of them get hired by rich Pure-blood families, or centaurs, or goblins. A lot of them work for Gringotts. They travel everywhere, seeking glory and danger. Breaking through whatever barriers and enchantments there are between them, and the treasures hidden away.

Jacob, you always talked about going away after you graduated, about bringing back the old tradition of travelling the world. Between this and your complete disregard for rules, I think we’ve found the perfect job for you. Especially since you “refuse” to continue the apothecary business or go into Healing…I don’t know what we’re going to do about that now. Especially with Mum’s worsening condition – which brings me back to answering Rowan’s first question - why am I using her wand in the first place? This is going to heavy.

It’s not that she’s sick, exactly, but she hasn’t been able to cast spells like she used to. Her magic isn’t working. It’s like she’s been hit by some terrible curse that sapped her of all her energy. It started after you left, but I don’t want you to think you’re the sole reason. My “disassociation” took its toll on her too. Either way, she hasn’t been able to run the apothecary like she used to. With Dad gone, and Mum becoming inactive, Grandma and Grandpa have come out of retirement to manage everything. She hasn’t said anything direct, but I still get the feeling that Mum is feeling humiliated.

It happened the night before we went out to Diagon Alley. Mum gave me her wand as a gift, to spare me the need of buying one. According to her, she “_obviously had no need of it anymore_,” and wanted me to put it to better use. I couldn’t say no…I just couldn’t. Not to something like that. But I promised her, not only that I would try to honor her, but that this wasn’t permanent - that I was only borrowing the hazel wand. I made her a promise that when her magic returned, which it simply has to, that I’ll return her wand.

Rowan listens to the whole story. Mitten doesn’t. She gets up from her position in my lap and leaps down to the floor, trotting toward the compartment door and pawing at it. Letting out her signature “Mrow” to let me know she wants out.

Rowan turns to stare at her with a small smile. “I have a cat too, back at home. A sphinx cat named Fuzzclaw. We call him that because he has more fur on his claws than the rest of his body combined.” Rowan and I laugh at this, before Mitten mrows again, and I give a deep sigh, opening the compartment door.

“Not too far now…” I call after her, but like always, she ignores me. Mitten can be very affectionate, but anything she doesn’t want to hear goes in one ear and out the other. She’s basically Grandma. I’m right, and I should say it.

But after Mitten departs, I’m forced to resume. By the end of the story, I’m staring out the window, avoiding eye contact again. But Rowan gives my shoulder a squeeze. “That’s a really nice thing you did.” I try to shake my head, and let the compliment bounce off, but Rowan is persistent. “I mean it! You’re using a wand that didn’t choose you – it will always resist you more than a wand that bonded with you. You’re weakening your own magic for the sake of pleasing your mother – and believe it or not, I know a thing or two about that.”

I finally turn around to look at them, and Rowan takes this opportunity to bring out their own wand. I frown when I look down at it…my own wand, by comparison, just seems so much smoother and more even. Rowan’s wand doesn’t look well-made at all. I glance up at them. “Um…did Ollivander make this?”

Rowan flushes, and now it’s their turn to glance down. “No…” They mumble. “_I_ did.” I stare at them, nonplussed, but they continue to avoid my eye. Oh…oh Merlin. Jacob, they’re serious. Rowan actually fashioned their own wand. Color me impressed, and very embarrassed. I start to stammer an apology, feeling like the worst friend in the world, but Rowan brushes it off.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just a kid, it’s not like I have training. Cedar and Phoenix feather…this was my only successful attempt, and with seventeen failures, I consider that a blessing.”

“You tried _seventeen_ times?”

“Eighteen. Mum and Dad made me. Said it would be good for my education. We actually had Ollivander come over and weigh the wands to see if I had produced any that were functional. Out of all eighteen, only one passed the test.” Rowan glances off to the side, hugging the wand to their chest and blushing again. I can’t tell if they’re proud of their accomplishment, or self-conscious that they couldn’t do better. Well, it had better be the former.

“Rowan, that’s incredible. That story alone will get you a Prefect’s Badge.” Just in case Rowan isn’t clear about how amazing this is, I spend the next five minutes or so, gushing about it, until they finally change the subject. I think they get just as flustered as I do when they’re complimented.

“But that’s the thing. Even if I was able to produce a functioning wand, it never _chose_ me. I’m at a disadvantage, and so are you. Hazel wands are exceptionally loyal to their chosen masters.” At this point, I’m getting even more depressed about my future prospects at school, but I try not to let it show. Rowan is still talking, and unfortunately my internal monologue causes me to miss some of the trivia they’re spouting. I manage to tune in when they ask “Have you had your Mum’s wand evaluated? After all, her problem could be the hazel wand itself. I’ve read about six different ways that wands can fail. Has she tested other wands, or-?”

I cut them off. “I don’t think it’s a wand issue. I think it’s connected to her emotional state. Actually, now that I think about it, Jacob went through a similar problem after our Dad died.” In my effort to explain Mum’s predicament, I accidentally bury another personal fact. Sure enough, Rowan is quick to catch my wrist.

“You don’t have a dad?” Their face falls, and I know that it’s going to be story time again. So I nod slowly. This really isn’t as painful to talk about anymore, at least not for me. I know how painful it is for you, though.

“Not anymore, no. We lost him to Dragon pox, when I was seven. The healers thought he would throw it off, but it got so much worse one night…” I slowly shake my head. “My brother took it even harder. He blamed himself because he was the first case. Came home for the summer holiday, had the pox within the week, and within another week, Dad and I both had it. Mum was the only one who never caught it…reckon he must’ve gotten it from someone at school.”

Seeing the look on Rowan’s face, I try to reassure them. “Look, it was a long time ago, and I’m fine, promise.” They look like they’re about to respond with uncertainty, but just then a stranger appears in front of our compartment and knocks. Rowan turns around to reveal a pretty girl with blonde hair in braids, who is currently holding a white cat that does not want to be held. Mitten leaps out of the girl’s arms, right back into my lap, giving a reproachful “_Mrow_!”

The girl smiles slightly. “Sorry to interrupt, but I saw your cat come out of this compartment earlier, and once she started stealing people’s pastries, I figured I should take her back.” She chuckles, offering her hand. “Penny, Penny Haywood.”

As Rowan shakes her hand, I glance down at the snow-white kitten in my arms, who is wearing an expression that indicates she’s guilty as can be, and doesn’t care who knows it. Also, she’s got pumpkin pastry all over her face. I give a deep sigh. “You little scamp…”

“_Mrow_!” She pushes her head into my hand, and I begin giving head scratches while I apologize to Penny Haywood, who so far strikes me as an absolute sweetheart. I swear, Mitten is really going to be a handful, especially once she has an entire castle to explore. But hopefully Rowan can help me. I still can’t get over the fact that they fashioned their own wand. Jacob, I believe my friends are definitely cooler than your friends. Deal with it.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if you've made it this far, then I appreciate it! As you can see, I'm starting to deviate from canon, adding my own head-canons here and there. (Like Rowan making their own wand. I've always liked that idea.) Penny gets a cameo too. While she isn't exactly important yet, she's also going to become friends with Luca sooner than Penny does in the canon game. 
> 
> Oh yeah, and both Luca and Rowan are using they/them pronouns, because I've always seen both characters as being non-binary. 
> 
> Happy Fictober, guys!


	4. Rowan's Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca, Rowan, and the rest of their year attend the Sorting Ceremony, and take their proper place at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the fourth day of Fictober! Hope everyone is enjoying it! Today's prompt is "MC's Sorting." So here's my take on the Sorting Ceremony! If all you're interested in is Luca's sorting, then that comes pretty early on in the chapter. But stick around to see some more familiar faces!

** _September 1st, 1984_ **

Dear Jacob, 

"Ali, Badeea_._"

And so it begins. I watch a girl wearing a hijab take her seat on the stool. The Sorting Hat falls over her eyes and the room goes silent. There's a moment of tension, like no one is sure what's going to happen to her, and then the Hat suddenly screams. We heard it sing before, but this time it's like one of those...what do the muggles call them? Scare-jumpers? Whatever. The hat cries out so abruptly that I flinch, and a blond boy standing next to me falls over. 

** _"RAVENCLAW!"_ **

One of the center tables bursts into applause, Badeea gets up, looking quite pleased, and weaves her way through the crowd toward her new home. Well, this seems easy enough. You know, you made it sound like it was going to be much more invasive. But we just have to try the Hat on? Even I can do that. 

"Caplan, Diego."

But the waiting is going to be a bit tricky. I don't much fancy this - just standing around in anticipation? It would be different it they gave us somewhere to sit. Then again, I suppose I’m rather early in the alphabet. If there’s a kid in here with a Z-last name, they have my eternal sympathy. When I'm on my feet, I have to resist the urge to walk around, particularly when I'm anxious. And boy, am I anxious. Hands are shaking, eyes are twitching, and there's a shiver travelling along my spine that refuses to go away. I hate it when that happens. I wish you were here.

Diego Caplan is sorted into Hufflepuff, and saunters his way over to the table on the far left. This might be irrational, but I immediately get very gross vibes from that guy. The Deputy Headmistress returns to roll-call and names "_Copper, Benjamin_."

The toe-headed boy from earlier flinches beside me. Sensing someone even more nervous than I am, I give him a clap on the back for support. He starts forward, only to stumble and fall flat on his face. Brief laughter follows, but the Deputy, Professor McGonagall, silences it with a stare that could cut glass.

Kneeling down, I offer Ben Copper my hand. I haven't forgotten about the panic attacks you used to get all the time, and I know the only thing worse than having anxiety is being unable to conceal it from people. So I offer Ben my hand - you would have done the same thing for me. Ben looks up at me like I offered him water in the desert, before taking my hand. He's got a somewhat larger mouth with beady dark eyes, undercut by bags that suggest insomnia. I've been struggling to sleep ever since the incident with the silver raccoon, and I can't help but wonder if this boy is a kindred spirit Either way, Ben makes his way up to The Sorting Hat, revealing the person standing behind him. A girl with a scruffy mess of brown hair, and a flower sticking out. She has very distinctive, violet eyes, only accentuated by the fact that she's wearing more eye-shadow then the seventh-years. The girl is smirking at Ben and trying to contain a laugh. Suddenly, it occurs to me that she probably tripped him.

_ "**GRYFFINDOR!**" _

The flower-haired girl looks stunned, but no one looks more surprised than Ben himself. Stumbling off the stool, I can see his knees trembling from all the way over here, as he makes his way toward the Gryffindor table. The House for the brave and courageous, huh? Good on you, Ben Copper. You show them what you're made of.

“Fawley, Luca!”

I know I was just complaining about having to wait. But it seems like far too soon, it's my go. Andre Egwu makes Ravenclaw, before I hear my own name being called. Right on cue, my heart begins to pound. It's my own fault for not keeping track of the alphabet, but I was trying to find Rowan again. I lost them in the crowd. But that will have to wait. In the meantime, I make my way up to the stool, and the Sorting Hat covers my eyes. But not before I catch the flower-haired girl staring intently at me.

That’s when a voice starts murmuring in my ear, a voice that appears out of nowhere, and almost reminds me of Ollivander. “_Hmm...very interesting. I haven’t seen one like this in a long time. Not since...not since another. He reminds me of you._” 

It seems that no one else can hear the voice, so the fact that it can read my mind is concerning, but not overly alarming. I suppose this is what you meant by the process being "invasive." Not sure if I should open my mouth to respond, since nobody else has, I decide to just, well, think. “_I suppose you’re the voice of the Sorting Hat?_” I also get the sense that I know who he’s talking about. Jacob, someday you have to tell me about your Sorting. All you said was that the Hat took a while, and made you feel uncomfortable. I need more details, man.

“_Not what you were expecting? I’m not your ordinary hat, child._” 

“_You just sound different from the song, that's all. It's almost like you’re whispering, but when you announce the houses you scream like a banshee._” 

“_Yes, I can see that you over-analyze the smallest details...but it’s not for nothing. You’re rather inventive, aren’t you? Perhaps someday you will discover the truth. Hidden, even from yourself. A dark cloud coalescing within this curious mind..." _

I don’t know what to say to that, but the Sorting Hat isn’t finished yet either. “_The eagles could use someone like you, but...no. That is only a fragment of who you are. Gentle, I see. Caring, yet so uncertain. A heart full of kindness, left by its lonesome. I can see exactly where you belong, child._” I take a deep breath, shutting my eyes and bracing myself. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw...I don’t think I’ll be disappointed no matter what decision is made, all of the Houses are alright...so why do I feel so anxious? 

“_So what house are you hoping for, hm?_” 

I open my eyes again, the light of the Great Hall piercing the blackness,but it’s only partial. The Sorting Hat is still covering most of my eyes. “_Does it matter? I don’t get a say, do I?_” 

“_You do if I say you do._” The Sorting Hat responds in a low purr. “_The Founders would seek out, not only the students that matched their prized talents, but also the students who personally valued them. I make no promises, child, but tell me what your heart wants, and I will take it into consideration._” Well, consider me put on the spot. Did the Hat let you have a vote, Jacob? I told myself a while ago not to think about it, since I wouldn’t get to choose. But deep in my soul, I know what I was hoping for. Like I said, I wouldn’t mind being in any of The Houses. But above all, I’ve always coveted one House in particular. When I tell the Hat, it starts to cackle. 

“_As expected. You see, The Sorting Hat is never wrong. I understand now. That is right where you belong. Best make it…_”

“**_HUFFLEPUFF!_**” 

The far left table starts to squeal its applause, and McGonagall removes the Sorting Hat. Trying not to laugh, I make my way down the steps. Stumbling once or twice, but that's okay. I got just what I wanted - your House, Jacob. I move to sit down at the table, avoiding Diego Caplan, and decide to pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming. It doesn’t do anything, but I suppose that’s always been a stupid tradition anyway. Who cares, I made it! I’m a Hufflepuff! I can’t believe it, I can’t believe I’m really at Hogwarts! 

“Haywood, Penny.” 

  
Ultimately, I’m distracted from my euphoria by a familiar name. The girl from the train with the blond braids is making her way up to the stool. As she does, I start to get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as something occurs to me. Rowan...hasn’t been sorted yet. I don’t know where they’ll go, and that’s the problem. Actually, that isn’t the problem. The problem is that I do know where they’ll go. I know exactly where Rowan will be sorted, and we definitely won’t be Housemates. But what about Penny? I look up to see the stool empty. Wait a minute, where’d she go?

Oh, she’s sitting down beside me. I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I missed her Sorting. That must have been quick. Penny flashes me a smile before turning back to the end of the Great Hall. I realize in this moment that I need to pay more attention, but my sense of dread is lessening now. It's mingled with some relief - Knowing I’ll have at least one friend in Hufflepuff. 

“Karasu, Tulip.” 

A striking girl with long red hair and an impish face now sits on the stool, wearing a wide smirk that suggests she must be very confident in where she’ll be sorted. Either that, or she doesn’t give a damn at all.

_ **“RAVENCLAW!” ** _

No reaction. I guess Tulip doesn’t care. Maybe she likes the attention. Or maybe she’s just happy to be at Hogwarts in general, I know I am. But wait, Karasu, that’s a K name, which means-

“Khanna, Rowan.” 

This is it. And if I’m nervous, Rowan is terrified. Wide eyes behind their glasses, their face scrunched up. Trudging up to the stool and slowly sitting down. They turn their gaze toward the Hufflepuff table. For the slightest moment, we lock eyes, before the Hat is over Rowan’s head. I’m not usually comfortable with eye contact, but I’m growing to trust Rowan more and more. Though I suppose it doesn’t matter much, in the grand scheme of things. I shouldn’t get too attached, since Rowan is going to be in Ravenclaw. It’s so obvious. They love to study, they’re eccentric in a cute way, but also stone-cold brilliant. They build their own wand, Jacob. It’s not even a question. 

** _“HUFFLEPUFF!” _ **

Our table is screaming, and Penny hollers beside me. From down the way, I hear a wolf whistle, and somehow I know that it was Diego Caplan. But none of that matters to me. I’m too happy to really think straight. All that matters is that Rowan is going to be in my House. Against all odds, they made Hufflepuff too. But how…? Who cares, it happened. Rowan makes a beeline for the Hufflepuff table and sits down right on my other side, beaming. Did they...did they want to be in Hufflepuff too? The truth hits me like speeding broomstick, as Rowan leans over to whisper "I didn't know the Sorting Hat let you choose! But it let me go to the same House as you, Luca! This is brilliant!" 

I am seriously about to cry. Jacob, you should be aware for when you get back, that we're adopting another sibling into the family. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Rowan is my favorite person that I've ever met, and I wish I could talk to you about this in person. I want that so badly. 

“Kim, Jae.” 

My knuckles turn white against the table, and I refuse to look up at the stool, even if Jae won’t see me. How could I forget that he was in my year? So much for being on the verge of crying tears of joy. I'm wracked with anxiety again. Look, Jacob, I know Jae was your friend and all, but don’t expect me to reach out to him. We didn’t exactly get along, alright? I’m sure you can remember. It’s just better for everyone if we avoid each other. Which is why, knowing full well that I’m a terrible person, I find myself silently praying for any House other than-

**_“GRYFFINDOR!”_**

I let out a slow breath of relief. Penny gives me a sideline glance, but I simply shake my head. That story is for another time, assuming that I even feel comfortable telling it. Not really into the idea of starting rumors. I don’t know what I would have done if Jae got into Hufflepuff. Oh Merlin, what if he starts asking me about you? I push the thought from my head as “_Lee, Barnaby_” a burly boy with bright eyes, gets sorted into Slytherin. As much as I’d like to talk to Rowan, I can’t help but feel like that would be disrespectful. So I keep my mouth shut as Hufflepuff gains another student, a girl with silver hair named Chiara Lobosca. Not long after, the most goth-looking girl I’ve ever seen gets sorted into Slytherin. I think her name was Murk or something. A little later, “_Parkin, Skye_” joins us in Hufflepuff, and I hear a quiet gasp from beside me. Looking over at Penny, who is staring at our new arrival with the sort of fixation that Mitten gets when I bring out her favorite sushi.

“Snyde, Merula.” 

I lean back, tilting my head to give the next student a glance. But once I see her, I nearly fall off the table. Because it’s the girl from earlier. With the intense, violet eyes, and the flower in her hair. She strides up to the chair and sits down like it's her throne, and she’s getting crowned with the Sorting Hat. Funnily enough, I’m able to guess her House before the Hat announces it. She’s a Slytherin, but what’s curious is that the Hat took ages to decide. For the briefest moment, Merula Snyde betrayed a hint of fear. But once she was Sorted, that flicker was gone, and her smug grin was back. 

Merula proceeds to shove her way through the crowd to reach the table furthest from Hufflepuff, even though nobody was really in her way. There actually aren’t that many students left now. I think she just wanted to make a show of force. Rowan and I exchange a nervous glance, as I realize they were eyeing Merula too. Just then, “_Tonks, Nymphadora_” makes Hufflepuff, and we turn to greet a girl with vibrant pink hair, who leaps onto the table and strikes a pose like she's going to be painted, at least until one of the prefects makes her get down. Okay, that girl is funny. 

“_Tuttle, Lizard_” is put into Slytherin, at which point I start rubbing my ear to make sure I heard that right. “_Weasley, Charles_” goes to Gryffindor, and finally a strange looking boy with sharp features and slicked hair winds up making Ravenclaw. I didn’t catch his name, but I think this must be the Z kid that I expressed sympathy for earlier. I try to ask Penny what his name was, but it’s like she doesn’t even hear me. She’s still gazing at Skye Parkin, with her cheeks tinged, lightly fanning herself. Someone really ought to put out a pillow in case she faints. 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slight canon deviation - I'm aware that Rowan is always shown to have been sorted -before- MC, but there's a slight problem with that. Sorting is supposed to be alphabetical, and plenty of MCs (including Luca) have surnames that come before "Khanna." So Rowan gets sorted later, and I get to include one of my favorite Rowan head-canons about why they're always in the same house as MC. 
> 
> And what's this about Jae and Jacob having history? Hmm, I wonder if we'll ever come back to that when Jae is properly introduced...(Spoilers, we totally will.) 
> 
> Happy Fictober! Please, please leave me some comments! I've love to hear your thoughts!


	5. Punishment is due

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dueling Merula in front of the whole school, Luca appeals to Flitwick about the injustice of their punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's keep the Fictober train rolling! Today's Prompt is "MC's favorite class." I'm cheating a little, because this still falls under the year one segment, and Luca's favorite class is definitely Care of Magical Creatures. But we'll cover their second favorite class, and number one favorite teacher! Let's dive in!

** _December 13th, 1984_ **

Dear Jacob

I’m so sorry; I know I haven’t written you in a while. I wonder how much sense it really makes for me to apologize for that when you haven’t gotten any of these letters yet, but it’s still been quite a while. Even if you get all of these at once, I just…I don’t want you to think that I’ve forgotten about you. Because I haven’t, and I never will. There’s just been a lot going on. Mainly trying to be a big brother myself, to that boy I told you about, Ben Copper. Even if I’m only a few months older than him, I can’t help but think of you when we hang out. Turns out, it wasn’t just pre-Sorting jitters that had Ben so nervous. He’s always nervous, about everything. He’s muggle-born, too, so there aren’t any siblings at school to watch out for him. Somebody has to.

Which turned out to be more complicated than I anticipated. Ben gets bullied a lot, primarily by Merula Snyde, who’s no fan of mine either. On the first day of class, she spiked my potion and made it explode in my face. As much as I knew it was her, I didn’t say anything to Professor Snape. Didn’t have any proof, and I had this blind hope that maybe, just maybe, if she could see how willing I was to show mercy, Merula might back off a little. I’m still just as naive as always, right?

Things with Merula have only escalated since then. She tried to kill me and Rowan with Devil’s Snare. Hagrid saved us, but I don’t think my Prefect bought the story. She’s not very nice either, actually. Merula proceeded to make up stories about you, and attack me in the Courtyard, even after I refused to duel. I realized that she would never leave me alone unless I stood up to her, which is something I haven’t gotten any better at doing. I just wish we could be friends. Suffice it to say, that hasn’t worked out yet. 

Jacob, how did you feel about Charms class? What did you think of Professor Flitwick? So far, I really like him. He taught me the disarming charm to help prepare me in case Merula attacked me again, and I promised him that I would never use the spell for anything other than self-defense. Thus far, I’ve kept that promise. But I got in trouble anyway.

“A month’s detention?” Tonks stares at me. “Blimey, for fighting back? That’s bogus.”

I don’t answer her at first. She’s right, but that isn’t really what’s bothering me. I feel as though Snape would put me in detention all year if he could get away with it. He found me dueling Merula in front of a big crowd, so of course he’s going to punish me and let her off scott free. I’m not surprised. But what does surprise me, and still bothers me, is how inactive the crowd was. Nobody collaborated my story, nobody else stepped in to protect Ben. He was the only reason I stepped in to begin with. I know I don’t think much of myself most of the time, but I don’t deserve detention for this.

“Back in a bit.” I mutter to Tonks, and get up from the couch, making my way out of the Hufflepuff Common Room. My Prefect, Jane, calls something after me, but it was probably about House Points and I just ignore it. Proceeding to the east tower where Flitwick’s classroom is. Jacob, I love his class, I really do. It’s about the only class I’m any good at. I have yet to succeed at any transfiguration attempt, I’ve never brewed a potion that was passable, and despite being able to mount a broom, I crash if I fly for longer than thirty seconds. I’m a lousy wizard, but Charms is one of the few subjects that come naturally to me. Which is why I want to talk to Flitwick.

Slipping into the classroom as his class ends, a Gryffindor boy with long blond hair and wide-set eyes bumps into me by accident, mumbles an apology, and speeds away. Hey pal, it’s fine, I’m clumsy too. Closing the door behind me, I see tiny little Flitwick up on his stack of books, looking through an essay. He turns at the sound of my footsteps, and his face falls slightly. “Yes, Fawley?”

I clear my throat, standing my ground and trying to be brave like a Gryffindor, like I always tell Ben he can be. “Professor, it’s not fair. It’s not right.” Flitwick stares at me, before slowly returning to his essay. But he hasn’t dismissed me, so I’m not leaving. “You excused me from the Knock-back Jinx lesson. You…you barely stood up for me to Snape. It’s like you think I deserve the detentions. Is that true?” I try not to sound as hurt as I feel.

Flitwick slowly puts the essay away, and turns to face me with a somber expression. “You may not have thrown the first punch, but my understanding is that you confronted Miss Snyde, not the other way around. You went looking for a fight.” He folds his little arms and stares at me. “Professor Dumbledore reprimanded me the other day, for teaching you the Disarming Charm. I had hoped you would only use it to protect yourself.”

So, that’s why he’s giving me the cold-shoulder, I unwittingly made him an accessory to my “crime.” As much as I don’t feel like blaming me for that is fair, the fact that Flitwick is being honest with me is something I appreciate, and my respect for him is climbing. Still, the whole thing is nonsense. “I may have gotten involved, but I didn’t draw my wand. Not until Merula had attacked me, Ben, and Rowan. Besides, I only interfered because Merula was bullying my friend, and nobody else was standing up for him. Professor, you know how timid Ben is, you know he can’t stand up for himself. There weren’t any teachers around...what exactly was I supposed to do?”

Suddenly, Professor Flitwick sighs. His whole composure loses the stiffness that he was trying to keep, and he moves to sit down on top of the books. Maybe he isn’t really angry with me. Maybe he just felt like he needed to stand by the rules. “You’re right, Luca. It isn’t just. Sometimes people get away with things that they shouldn’t, and others get punished instead. I put myself in this situation when I taught you a dueling spell. Perhaps I was wrong to do that, but I’m responsible for that decision. You made me a promise when I taught it to you, and I know you kept that promise to the best of your ability.”

Umm...more like I kept that promise, full stop. But I don’t say that to Flitwick. He removes his spectacles to rub the bridge of his nose, looking pained. “Be that as it may, school rules are iron-cast, and you broke them. So punishment is still due.” I don’t like this. It reminds me of what you used to say, Jacob. About parents and teachers, and how they would hide behind saying life “isn’t fair” despite them having all the power in the situation to _make_ it fair. But it’s difficult to stay mad at Flitwick, because I still get the sense that he cares about me.

The door opens behind us, and the blond boy from earlier stumbles in. He’s tall and gangly with a slightly nervous look about him. At a guess, he looks older than me, but he also seems mildly familiar. I think I’ve seen him in class before. But that can’t be, not if he’s in an older year. He stumbles again, looking around, until he locates the bag that he left behind. Flitwick and I exchange a glance, as the boy seems to hesitate. He takes out his wand and attempts to cast the levitation charm on his bag.

It flickers feebly, but does not move. I watch the light fade from the kid’s eyes, and before I know what I’m doing, I’m crossing over to him unconsciously. Standing next to the struggling Gryffindor kid, I take his arm. “Here, just…you just need to lift your arm a little higher. Like that.” He flushes, but tries again.

“Wingardium Leviosa.” Together, we watch…and the bag flutters slightly in place, lifting an inch off the desk before it gives in and flops back down. The kid bites his lip, but I clap his shoulder.

“That was so much better. See, you know the magic. You just need some practice.” I feel good about myself, because as the struggling Gryffindor kid leaves after picking up his bag the old fashioned way, he does seem slightly happier. I turn back around and realize that Professor Flitwick was observing the whole time. He stares at me with a strange curiosity, before clearing his throat.

“As I was saying, Fawley, punishment is due for breaking the rules. But detention in the traditional sense is not strictly necessary.” He glances at the door, where the struggling Gryffindor kid was a moment ago. “That student has been struggling to master some very basic spells for quite some time now. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little more time, but he’s having to repeat several courses from last year, and if his marks don’t pick up it’s bound to happen again.

Oh boy, I can relate to that. Jacob, I just hope I pass my exams, because at this rate. I won’t. My marks aren’t pretty. I’m just glad Mum can’t see them. So I definitely feel a sense of kinship with the tall, blond boy. But it also begs the question of why Flitwick is telling me any of this. I frown up at him. “What does that have to do with me, sir?”

Flitwick looks down at me, and for the first time, he smiles. “Not everyone has the patience to help people get back up when they fall down. Dare I say it, but not even all the Professors appointed here have that ability.” It’s okay Professor, you can say Snape. We both know that’s what you mean. “It’s a quality that’s normally uncommon, but you have it. It shouldn’t go to waste. I’m going to speak to Professor Dumbledore. Tell him that I started this mess, and I should be in charge of cleaning it up. I’m going to ask him if I can oversee your detentions instead of Professor Snape.” I look at Flitwick, beginning to feel gratitude. Snape isn’t as horrible as I’ve heard people say, but he’s also not nearly as nice as Penny likes to think. Flitwick continues, adjusting his collar. “Instead of writing lines or cleaning out old bottles…what would you say if I had you personally assist me? To serve your detention, I’d like you to tutor some of my remedial classes, like the ones the second-years are taking. Do you think you would be up to the task?”

This. This, Jacob, is why he’s my favorite teacher. Merlin above, even when I came into the room disappointed with him, he made everything better. Snape isn’t exactly a saint, and McGonagall isn’t horrible…but I’m horrible at her subject, and that combined with her stern nature means we don’t really get along. Then there’s Professor Sprout, and frankly she just reminds me of Augusta. You know, Uncle Frank’s mum? Which is to say, I don’t like her very much. It’s a shame, she’s my Head of House, but we hardly ever interact at all. Whenever we do, it’s usually her chastising me. I’m even worse at Herbology than I am at Transfiguration. I just don’t see the point of having plants that can eat people. Who would ever want that? I thank Flitwick, feeling a tad overwhelmed, before making my way back to the Common Room.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you say time-skip? Yeah, since the Prompts will be covering all six years that are currently available, we're going to be moving at a breakneck pace. Anyway, it always bugged me that Flitwick still acts like you betrayed him, even if you choose to keep your promise. At least I got to take out my frustration on this chapter, heheh. 
> 
> Happy Fictober, everyone!


	6. Badgers Unite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a public disagreement with their Prefect, Luca regroups with their closest Hufflepuff friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober continues! We've reached the end of the entries for Year One, with the Prompt "MC's new friends." And given how Luca started with no one, this should be pretty wholesome!

** _January 22nd, 1985_ **

Dear Jacob

I can’t sleep anymore. It’s official. I just can’t do it. Sometimes I doze off in Potions, and Rowan has to wake me up before Snape throws a bottle at me, or Merula puts something in my brew. But at night? It’s just hopeless. Even as far back as the first night of the first term, I knew I had a problem. I really, really wish you were still here. Because back when we used to share a room, I slept like a log, I always had you to lean on. I don’t have that now. Sometimes Mitten curls up beside me on the bed, but more often than not she wants to prowl the Common Room after hours.

But it’s more than just that.

My nightmare from before the school year has been haunting me ever since. The curtain monster didn’t kill me. As far as I can tell, it didn’t even leave any scarring. Of course, I would almost be grateful if it had, because scars would serve as proof that the encounter really happened and I didn’t just dream the whole thing. I wish I could talk to Mitten. Really, properly talk to her. Because she was there, and I could ask her if it was real. She’s extremely protective of me, but that was true even before I had the nightmare.

Either way, real or not real, it messed me up. The four-poster bedrooms in our dormitories look so much like that damn curtain that I can’t even lay in the bed without getting anxiety. Sure, I can pull the four-posters back, back then I have to look at everyone else’s curtains. Are four curtain monsters on the other side of the room worse than one that’s already surrounding me? Who cares, I won’t sleep either way. Don’t forget about the bedding itself. How do I put this…bed sheets and other associated types of cloth also tend to remind me of that night. How am I supposed to sleep with that kind of paranoia?

It isn’t just affecting my sleep cycle, but my entire life. Since my encounter with the curtain monster, I’ve felt more and more claustrophobic. Even going back into the Artifact Room, that room where I heard…well, what I think was your voice, always puts this strange kind of pressure on me, so I feel like the air is hard to breathe. Only having Rowan or Penny around makes it easier. But the enclosed space of even the dormitory is a lot to handle. Most nights, I wake up with night terrors, after sleeping for less than an hour. I have no one to hold and everything to fear.

Hasn’t helped my marks get any better, that’s for sure. The only classes I’ve gotten any better at are Charms and Flying. But Flying was basically a necessity, because Ben was afraid of it and I needed to help show him how. Penny’s afraid of Flying too, and I’ve been giving her and Ben pointers. Tips to help them get over their fear. I mean, according to Flitwick, I’m good at that sort of thing, so I might as well help my friends. Even if not all my friends help me.

Okay, I’ve got to tell you what’s really on my mind. Earlier today, my Prefect, Jane Court, called a meeting for all of the Hufflepuffs. I’ve had mixed feelings about her in the past, but generally considered her a friend. She’s frequently on my case about getting House Points and not breaking school rules…but she also helped teach me and Rowan how to duel and better prepare for the showdown with Merula. So overall, I’ve been a fan of Jane in the past. She’s been kind of like a big sister, or at least in my mind she was.

But it turns out my Prefect isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. She can be venomous, too. Not that it’s my place to judge, but she’s supposed to set an example, isn’t she? Supposed to represent Hufflepuff’s core values. Petty pranks against other Houses aren’t what Hufflepuff is about, not in my book anyway. But apparently Jane considers it our duty to teach Slytherin a lesson, which I don’t really understand? I thought it was Gryffindor that Slytherin had a rivalry with. True, as Houses go, the snakes are typically the most unpopular, but that’s no excuse for an older student, a literal prefect, to solicit rule-breaking. After berating me for dueling when she taught me how, after bugging me about House points and now planning the ultimate prank, Jane’s actions were becoming quite hypocritical.

I said none of this during the meeting. I held my tongue on what I thought of Jane for what she was doing, that I thought she was better than the idea. I didn’t even voice my misgivings about the plan as a whole, or at least not in detail. All I said was that I wanted no part in it, that I didn’t want to participate in a prank that would break school rules. For someone who spends half her time berating me for my adventures and the House Points they’ve cost Hufflepuff, I would have thought Jane would understand. Nope – she took the opportunity to publicly insult me and my dedication to Hufflepuff. Questioning how I ever got Sorted here.

It stung, Jacob. It hurt a lot. I can just hear Merula sneering and telling me to get over it, but I get the feeling that if her Prefect said something like that to her, she’d feel pain to. I look up to Jane, or at least I did. Normally I expect teachers like Snape to be cruel, but Jane? Well, in hindsight, I suppose it makes sense…she does seem rather self-centered most of the time. But I really wanted to admire her before. Now I don’t really want anything to do with her. But she’s a Prefect, so I have little choice. Reflecting on the meeting, I still feel humiliated and angered. Jane is wrong, the plan is wrong. It’s a bad idea, that’s in direct conflict with the values it’s supposed to enforce. I was the only one talking any sort of sense in that meeting. I don’t care if that’s immodest. It’s true, and I should say it.

All of this is on my mind tonight, and it’s probably the reason that I can’t sleep. Jerking awake after yet another micro-sleep, I roll over mindlessly until I fall out of bed. Laying there on the floor like the caterpillar that I am, already knowing where this night is going. Like most other nights, I’m going to creep down to the Hufflepuff Common Room, stoke the fire a little, and pet Mitten on the couch. Maybe work on my Transfiguration essay. There’s something of a routine worked out.

Five minutes later, I find the energy to stand up, wearing the pajamas that Mum got me for Christmas. Hufflepuff-themed, with badger shaped slippers. I look like an absolute dork but I am unashamed, because no article of clothing has ever been cozier. I feel like I’m in the embrace of a sleeping bear. I also have my dragon-hide gloves on, because I never go anywhere without them. When people ask, I tell them it’s because my hands get cold easily, or because I have a lot of cuts from Herbology. None of them know the real reason, not even Rowan. But you do, because I picked the habit up from you.

Moving to light a candle, I head into the Common Room, but it turns out that I didn’t need to bother. Entering the room to look for Mitten, I instead find four people sitting and waiting for me. Penny and Tonks are on the couch, Rowan is sitting in one of the arm-chairs, and Chiara Lobosca, the girl with silver hair, is sitting in the other. Jacob, I used to think Penny was the softest human being in the world, but then I met Chiara.

Raising an eyebrow, I look between all of the people that are present. “Umm, sorry, am I interrupting?” If there’s some sort of secret meeting going on, I don’t want to intrude. I figure Rowan will give me the details later anyway. But to my surprise, I’m welcomed to join instead. I swear, it’s like they were expecting me. So I sit down on the couch, and everyone starts to talk in turn.

“We were just thinking about you, Luca.” Penny frowns. “About the meeting today, we figured you must be upset.”

Chiara nods. “I would be too, if it were me. Even sitting on the sidelines, it bothered me.”

Alright, these are definitely rehearsed words, which means they met up during the evening while I was out assisting Flitwick’s class, and planned this conversation. I can’t say that I mind. They’re making it clear that they care about my feelings. But I also don’t want to be pitied. It’s not that it’s a terrible thing, but with your disappearance all I ever get is pity. Or hatred. On second thought, pity is okay.

“Thanks guys, but I’m okay. She could have just used nicer words, I suppose.” I reason. Hey Jacob, remember when you used to tell me that I sugar-coat things when people are mean to me? I haven’t gotten any better about that. But it’s a good thing I have my friends.

“No, screw that. She was cruel!” Tonks pushes my arm, looking firm. “She didn’t need to say something like that in front of everyone.”

Rowan chimes in. “Particularly when you consider that what you said was absolutely right. We shouldn’t be doing this.” I look over at Rowan, my heart leaping. Could it really be that they agree with me? Yes, it could be, and it is. Rowan continues. “I’m always eager to do anything in the best interest of our House, but in retrospect, it makes no sense for a Prefect to get behind it.”

Tonks folds her arms. “This is the sort of thing that I would plan, and get into detention for. I mean, I’m all for the idea, but Jane’s a bloody Prefect. She’s supposed to stop this kind of thing! It was way out of order for her to treat you that way, just for doing her job better than she was.

Alright, I’m an emotional sap, and by this point I’m tearing up. Y’know, there’s _no_ word for people like me, other than "cry-baby", which has such negative and cowardly connotations. Why can’t there be a word for people who break out into tears easily, that doesn’t make them sound like little kids? Either way, I’m starting to cry, and now Penny is hugging me. Tonks then flops on us as well, as Penny chimes in.

“Forget Jane, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And Rowan already told her as much.” Tonks pumps her fist, and I push Penny’s braid out of my face to better look at Rowan, hardly daring to believe what I heard, but Rowan is avoiding my eyes.

“It wasn’t a big deal, I just told her that she owed you more respect.” Rowan mumbles.

“They also listed all your best qualities, it took about eight minutes in total.” Chiara adds in her quiet voice, smiling slightly. Jacob, you really need to meet my friends when you come back, because they’re the best. I haven’t even gotten through everything that they do for me. See at that point, Mitten comes out from under the couch and demands attention, so we’re distracted for a bit. Once she’s gotten her fill of petting and head scratches from everyone, I just assume that everyone’s going back to bed. But Tonks catches my shoulder.

“Hold up, Luca. There’s one more thing we should talk about.” She pushes me back down and Mitten leaps out of my arms, looking cross and moving closer to curl up by the fire. But she doesn’t actually try to climb in, not after the last time. She’s smarter now. I sit down again, between Penny and Tonks, as Chiara bites her lip.

“Rowan told us about what you go through every night…the struggle to sleep, the night terrors…” It’s at this point that I start to sink into the couch out of embarrassment. I’m not upset with Rowan, because this could never have been kept a secret anyway. Not with Diego Caplan being one of my roommates. I’m much more comfortable with these three knowing than him, but I’d just as soon no one knew.

“I’ve been doing some research, Luca.” Rowan adds quickly. “The raccoon made of light that you told me about…it was definitely the Patronus charm.”

“Wicked guardian spell, drives off dark creatures, animal shape…I could have told you that.” Tonks scoffs. I think I’ve heard of the Patronus before, but I never knew that they take animal shapes. Well, that’s one part of my nightmare explained.

“The thing is…” Penny murmurs thoughtfully. “A Patronus requires a caster. They don’t really show up naturally. Someone must have cast that raccoon, and saved you. But who were they, one of the Healer staff? Why not check on you, or at least say something the next morning?” Okay, maybe not so easily explained. As much as I appreciate Rowan enlisting our friends to figure out my nightmare, I don’t want everyone knowing. I told Rowan about it in confidence, and I’m still half-way convinced that I’m just mad.

“Thanks everyone, but it doesn’t matter.” I sigh. “Even if the Raccoon could have been a Patronus, it doesn’t explain the curtain that eats people. Face it, I had a really bad nightmare and I’m just a wimp for still being affected by it.” I lean my head back against the couch, but Rowan now looks very excited, slapping the arm of the chair.

“No, no! Luca, I looked that up too. Had to go into the Restricted Section, but I found it.” Rowan pulls out a roll of parchment that’s covered in their notes. “The Lethifold, also known as the living shroud…it’s a dark creature that consumes people and leaves no trace! It can only be repelled with the Patronus Charm!”

Chiara looks over at me. “You’re not crazy, Luca, and you didn’t have a nightmare. You had a near-death experience with a carnivorous dark creature. Anyone would be traumatized by that. When I had-“ Chiara abruptly breaks off, and flushes quite red. She’s a pale girl, so it’s much more noticeable. If my brain was emptier, I could spend more time wondering about that. But it’s not. My brain is currently spiraling.

“It was real…?” I can hardly dare to believe it. This means I’m not crazy. This is borderline confirmation that that horror from my past wasn’t imaginary, it was an actual dark creature. An established thing that people know, and have documented. This is too much. 

Penny puts a hand on my wrist, her brow furrowing. “The only thing that doesn’t add up, other than the Patronus caster, is…” She looks at Rowan, and their face has fallen too.

“Lethifolds are normally exclusive to tropical areas. No one’s really heard of one coming this far north. Then again, most of the time Lethifold attacks leave no trace, so there’s no reliable way to track the fatalities…” Rowan keeps talking about the trivia, but I can feel the weight in my stomach getting heavier and heavier. Because I’ve just remembered something else – the grey curtains. The ones that were exactly where they were supposed to be when morning came...this is all very interesting, and way too close to be a coincidence. But I’m still not convinced that I’m sane.

“Well, whatever dark creatures go bump in the night, Hogwarts is the safest place in the word. So you don’t have to worry anymore Luca.” Tonks ruffles my hair, but I slowly curl up into even more of a ball. I look like Mitten.

“Getting over what happened won’t be easy…but Rowan did tell us one more thing.” Penny adds. I lift my head to give Rowan an exasperated stare. Do they keep none of my secrets? Rowan looks sheepish, and mouths “Sorry.” Before Chiara carries on, now seeming to be over whatever was bothering her before.

“They said you and Jacob used to sleep in the same bed, and that sleeping alone has been an adjustment for you.”

I sit up slightly and nod, rubbing the back of my neck. “I guess I just get lonely at night.” Our family has always been affectionate, which is something I like about us. Cause no matter what people say about the Fawleys, we prove them wrong. Forget the Birthmark, forget the curse, we decide our own fate, all of us. Well…except for one. No, Jacob, I'm still not over it. I'm not over losing them, and I never will be.

Tonks takes this opportunity to pull on my hair, because she thinks that it’s funny or something. I don’t really understand her sense of humor, but she always means well. “That’s cause you don’t have a sleeping buddy. Whenever Chiara has nightmares, one of us always kips with her.”

Chiara nods slowly, and throws Penny a subtle smirk. “I wonder what Skye thinks about it.” Now it’s Penny’s turn to flush and begin stammering at Chiara. Trying to say that she doesn't know what Chiara means, and no one buys it. This really goes nowhere, as Penny can never string two words together when it comes to Skye Parkin. Seeing this, Rowan quickly chimes in.

“The point is, that we’re all here for you Luca. If sleeping next to someone will help you get more rest, and stop the night terrors, none of us mind doing that.” At which point, all of the others start adding sounds of agreement. They go on to explain that they’ve worked out a schedule. The four of them are going to trade off having mini-sleepovers with me and see if it doesn’t help me get more sleep. Jacob, did I mention before that I was crying? Because now I’m sobbing.

Indeed, the conversation mostly subsides after this because I’m an emotional mess who is unable to express how much my friends mean to me. I say goodnight to all of them, several hugs are exchanged, and Rowan and I head back to the Hufflepuff Dormitory. The only real issue I can see is going to be Diego, and possibly Jane. Both of them would try to make something weird out of this. I can just hear Diego’s “jealous” jabs about how I “slept with Penny.” He’s kind of got a thing for her…and several other people. If it wasn’t clear, Diego and I don’t get along very well. There’s a reason Rowan didn’t call him down for this meeting.

Regardless, tonight is the first night in ages that I sleep without fear. I’ve got my friend beside me. After averaging about two hours each night for the last few months, and having worse eye-shadows than Merula, I get a full night sleep. Jacob, my friends are better than yours, just admit it.

Love, Luca.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Six, Badgers Unite, also known as the moment in the game that I started hating Jane, XD. 
> 
> But that's that! Did you enjoy the callbacks? Did you think my plot-threads would disappear? Never! I'm one of -those- annoying writers with story-arcs in mind. So I wonder if we'll ever see that Lethifold again...?
> 
> Happy Fictober, ya'll!


	7. Bitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following another trail of cursed ice, Luca and Merula meet someone unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Fictober Day Seven! Today's Prompt is "The Cursed Ice." We're officially moving into Year Two, folks! Plus, I finally get to write more of Merula, who you'll quickly realize is my favorite character. (Love her or hate her, can we all agree that she's super interesting?) 
> 
> Enjoy! Please, pretty please leave me some cool comments!

** _March 22nd, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob

I wish I knew how to quit Merula. Seriously, I would have thought that after a full summer to gain new perspective and grow up more, she might have left me alone. Or if nothing else, that she might have felt like she owed me a debt after what happened in the Hidden Corridor. Long story short, I saved her life, and I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t have done the same if the roles were reversed. But even that wasn’t enough to make her nicer.

I just don’t understand why we keep talking, though. If I can’t befriend her, then I would rather avoid her, and I’ve made that clear to her. But no, Merula insists on continuing to talk to me, but the relationship just has to remain antagonistic, I guess. Though I think she may have a little in common with you, actually. Pride is a real weakness for her. Frequently insisting that she’s the “Best witch at Hogwarts” I think she took it hard when I defeated her last year. I think that’s why she demanded a rematch, under threat of telling Jane the truth. I sort of lied and told Jane that I went down to the Corridor alone. When actually, Ben and Rowan were with me at the time. So Merula had that leverage .

She’s gotten better. A lot better. I’m still mastering _Incendio,_ a spell that Bill Weasley is teaching me. He’s been great, by the way, I don’t know if you ever knew him? But for the most part, I haven’t been practicing my spell-work since my last major duel. There’s a dueling club, and they even give out a special reward, apparently…but I just don’t feel inclined to participate. So it’s safe to say that I’m rusty. Last time, I caught Merula by surprise, having learned how to disarm her, and also how to tickle her with magic. Since then, I’ve learned…the knockback jinx, I guess? But now Merula gets the drop on me, throwing me back with the banishing charm, and nearly making me puke slugs with another jinx, though I dodge that one. Then-

“_Expelliarmus_!” She roars, flicking her wand forward. The hazel wand is flung from my hand and flips into the air. Merula put a lot of power into the casting, but I don’t think she’s mastered precision. Because even if she knows the disarming charm, she obviously doesn’t know how to make my wand fall in her direction. Instead, it lands in a nearby tree. Which is a bit of a problem, because I don’t see myself being able to climb it. Merula wastes no time and hits me with the banishing charm again, causing me to fly backward and slam into the nearby wall.

“Admit defeat, Fawley! Admit the I’m the best!”

“The best witch at Hogwarts…” I mutter to myself at the same time she boasts it aloud, though thankfully she’s too far away to notice. My arm is in a lot of pain. Merula’s spell-work isn’t strong enough that I’ve broken anything, but it’s strong enough that I wish I had some ice. And my scarf. Merlin, it’s pretty cold out tonight, for March, anyway. That’s when I slowly get up and notice the trail of frost that’s coating the bricks beneath me. I really need to keep my mouth shut.

“Oi, Fawley, get up so I can knock you back down!” Merula taunts. But the ice…the ice has my full attention right now. It’s making a trail back inside. At the risk of upsetting an already angry Merula, I ignore her and get up, moving back toward the doors.

“Hey! You coward, get back here! Hey!” I hear her calling after me. I can just picture her scowl – sour and surly and oddly cute. But I can’t wait up, not if this is the same cursed ice that hurt Rowan before. Jacob, I have a lot to catch you up on, but suffice it to say that Rowan almost died and it was all my fault. If you thought I hated myself before…you have no idea.

The ice leads me back into the castle, and I keep tracking it’s path. My heart pounding as I think about the icy door. The one that struck out at me and Rowan. The one that put them in the Hospital Wing. It couldn’t be that the cursed ice has spread this far already? But I see no other explanation. I start to wonder if the trail is going to lead me back to that door, and if I shouldn’t wait for back-up. I wouldn’t dare ask any of my friends to go with me alone again, not after last time…but there is always Bill. He’s kind of in a league of his own.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” A hard shove indents my back as I hear Merula hissing behind me. “You ditched me to follow the ice?” I cringe, shaking my head, trying to explain, but she pressed on. “No one is going to open the Cursed Vaults but me, so get out of the way, loser.” Merula pushes past me, determined to steal my lead. Look, whatever, she can get there first, just don’t stop my investigation..

Ultimately the ice gets thicker and more widespread the further east we go, until eventually we reach an wall that’s practically encased in the stuff, with a door peeking out. Wait a second, this is the Artefact Room. This is where I heard your voice for the first time. Of course, Merula pushes her way forward and tries to send me off, because apparently this is her “secret spot.” Or something…guess she doesn’t know that Ben comes here too, and Chiara sometimes. I would enlighten her, but our argument is cut off by a faint sound.

“Row….arow…..rooowww…” There comes a pitiful mewing from inside the Artefact Room. Merula looks around, bewildered. But for my part, the panic response sets in.

“_Mitten!_” I gasp, shoving my way past Merula and hurling my body at the door. It’s a bit stiff from all the ice, but I’m not giving up. I throw my entire body weight at the door, three times, before it opens. Ignoring Merula’s protests, I push myself into the room. I don’t understand how Mitten could have gotten all the way here, when Tonks promised to keep her entertained in the Hufflepuff Basement, but no one is going to hurt my cat. Not Merula, not “R,” and not some stupid cursed ice-oh. Wait a second.

“Arowwwww…” That…that’s not Mitten…the meow has a deeper resonance to it that suggests we’re dealing with a male cat. Oh, and Mitten has snow colored fur. This little guy is black as night. And he looks very cross, not that I can blame him, as the ice has encased half of his body. While my initial protective instincts for Mitten’s sake have faded, my fear for this cat’s well-being is still quite strong.

“What in the…o-oh.” Merula has pushed herself into the room too, only to stop in her tracks, staring at the black cat. For the first time, I think ever, I can see Merula falter. I wonder if she’s a animal person too? “Fawley, what the hell is a cat doing in here?!” She snaps at me, as if I’m going to know the answer.

I shake my head. “Don’t know, but we have to get him out. He could freeze to death…or whatever else this ice does. Come on,” I grab Merula’s arm without thinking. “We need to find Madam Pomfrey, or-“

“No way!” Merula slaps my hand away. “No teachers, are you joking?” She rejects the idea before turning back to stare at the black cat, who is still going “Arow” weakly. Little by little, Merula inches in closer to him, looking captivated. I get where she’s coming from, of course. I don’t exactly want to admit to being out of bounds after dark…nor do I want to admit that I dueled Merula again. But my record isn’t more important than the black cat’s safety.

“Fine then, give me your wand.” I hold out my hand, but Merula ignores me. She’s crouched lower now, to sit beside the hunk of ice the black cat is trapped inside. Still staring at him and now looking slightly flushed. She’s either getting cold, or she’s getting “Pet Fever.” Remember that, Jacob? You used it to convince Mum you needed an owl, and that was how we got Cinder. I used the same excuse while you were gone, actually.

Two years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to mews of pain, to find a white kitten by the fireplace. She climbed in through the window and wanted to roll around in the ashes, I suppose, but had burned her paws on the embers. My Pet Fever was so bad that I stayed up all night bandaging her wounds and giving her Mum’s charmed Mittens to wear. By the morning, she was my cat, Mum’s mittens had become hers, and the name had stuck.

“Merula, give me your wand.” I repeat, since I don’t think she’s listening to me. Slowly lifting her arm, she’s reaching out as if to touch the black cat, before I repeat myself again and she breaks from the stupor.

“What? No way in hell!” She snaps, and the cat makes a rowing sound again. I slowly rub my temples in exasperation.

“We need to set him free. The fire making spell is too dangerous, but there’s still one chance. We could use the knock-back jinx like we did last year. You remember? I used it to save your life?” I make a point of bringing that up because I guess I’m just a little bit petty that she didn’t so much as thank me. “My wand is stuck up a tree, thanks to you, and I don’t have a spare.”

Merula scoffs. “Not my problem, Fawley.” She turns back to the trembling black cat, and resumes eye contact. Slowly reaching out her hand again, until she’s lightly resting it on his head. “He’s shaking…” She mutters, more to herself than me. You know what Jacob? She’s right. It isn’t her problem, it’s his problem. This poor cat is going to freeze to death if Merula doesn’t get with the program, and I know she doesn’t want that. I can tell. She’s not the most openly affectionate person, so this tiny little step is basically a bear-hug in her language.

“Fine, you do it then.” I throw up my hands and lean up against the ice-encrusted wall. Merula almost seems to jump in place. I might have suggested she try out for the Slytherin Quidditch team.

“M-me?”

“Yeah, why not? If you’re the Best Witch at Hogwarts, how about you prove it?” I’m definitely goading her, but in my defense, posing a threat to Merula’s ego is virtually the only way to get through to her. This girl is so emotionally guarded that she needs me to draw her a map for doing anything compassionate.

“Shut up Fawley, I don’t have to prove anything to a loser like you!” She stammers slightly, and then someone else chimes in to the conversation. The black cat flicks his head forward, and bites Merula’s palm.

“_Ouch_! He bit me!” Merula yelps indignantly, getting to her feet. “You little brat!”

“It’s your fault.” I fold my arms coolly, ignoring the heat of Merula’s stare. “He knows you can save him, and you’re dawdling. Of course he’s angry with you.

“He’s not angry with me!” Merula snaps back. “He’s angry at _you_, because you won’t shut up. Neither of us should have to listen to your babbling. Here! Watch how a real witch casts a jinx. _F-Flipendo_!”

Well, she did whatever she could to save face, so good for her. But even as Merula aims her wand arm, her hand is trembling. She misses the first few attempts. I don’t let her see me watching, but I try to send positive mental vibes in lieu of being verbally supportive, which I know she would hate. Finally, the last of the ice thaws and the cat shakes himself off, still shivering. Poor baby…

“Good work, Merula.” I say before I can stop myself, moving in front of her to crouch beside the cat. “Hey there little guy, it’s okay, let’s get you to a fireplace…” I move to pick him up in my arms. Now, I’m not an idiot.I know that not all cats like to be picked up. Mitten loves it, but some cats hate it. Even so, I’m frankly astonished by what happens next. The black cat hisses, gives my hand a painful bite, and leaps out of my grip.

Then he prances over to Merula and nuzzles up against her leg. I’m dead serious, Jacob. This is really happening. Merula smirks triumphantly and proceeds to pick up the black cat, as I slowly rub my palm. That little imp actually broke skin, which Merula is quick to notice.

“Good kitty.” She smiles, snuggling closer to him, as he starts to purr. “How do you feel about the name “Bitten?” I’m gonna call you Bitten. Come on, let’s get back to the Dungeons. You just hooked up with the very best witch in Hogwarts, and let me tell you, dodged a real curse with that one.” She nods toward me, and “Bitten” just glares in my direction.

Jacob, he…he actually prefers Merula, and dislikes me. I can’t…I can’t even right now. I’m glad that he turned out okay, I’m glad that Merula is going to take care of him, but…really? Bitten chose her over me? Sometimes I just don’t get people. Or cats.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would it be October without a black cat? Just kidding, they aren't unlucky, and that's a harmful stereotype, so consider this your P.S.A. 
> 
> On another note, did you notice that Mitten has either appeared, or been referenced, in pretty much every chapter? Yeah, I really love writing her. There's definitely a bigger purpose to Luca's feline companion, and Bitten's introduction will further that subplot. 
> 
> Happy Fictober!


	8. Soul Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca makes a decision after Aurelie Dumont leaves Hogwarts regarding the gift she gave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober! Fictober! We carry on! Today's Prompt is "Hosting Beaxbatons" And...I've got to be honest. I have basically nothing to contribute regarding Madam Maxime, Aurelie, or the side-quest. They'll still be connected tangentially, though.

** _April 17th, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob,

Lying is like magic but without needing to use magic. I don’t like to lie, but I find myself doing it more and more to solve problems. I don’t feel much guilt about lying to Jane, but I fear that there may come a day when I have to lie to someone like Flitwick. Or worse, Rowan…no, forget that. I’m never doing that.

It’s a long story, but I’m just thinking about this a lot because Penny had a visitor recently, a pen pal from Beauxbatons who was considering a transfer to Hogwarts. Except, she wasn’t. Aurelie never had any intention of coming to school here, she had her own agenda. Wanted to find some kind of strange stone created by an Alchemist named Nicholas Flamel. No idea why she came here to do that, but her sources seemed to think she would find it. Funnily enough, Aurelie felt like she was in her brother’s shadow, which…look, don’t worry about it, okay? It’s not your fault that you left behind a reputation. It’s not your fault that it fell to me.

Anyway, the point is that Aurelie lied to Penny, to someone who cares a great deal about her. Penny is her friend, and she deserved the truth. I still count myself lucky that I’m as close as I am with someone like her. And Aurelie ignored her for most of the visit to look for an alchemy artefact. Of course, I made her tell the truth in the end, and Penny did forgive her, but…still. What if I’m ever in a situation where I have to lie to a close friend to resolve it? Lie to Bill, Charlie, Chiara, or any of them? I don’t ever want to be in that position.

But at least so far, all I’ve had to do is lie to rude Prefects and teachers that I don’t like. Which is half of the authority figures at the school…with the exception of Flitwick, McGonagall and Dumbledore, the teachers here really don’t seem to like me very much. But that’s okay, I have all the friends I need in my year. And in France. Aurelie and I parted as friends, and she even gave me this sweet blue trinket to put in the Dormitory. Of course, when I head up there to place it, my heart sinks as I bump into Diego, and find that we’re alone.

“Well look who it is, the bloke with a different girl in his bed every night. Whatcha got there?” He grins, leaning up against the frame of his bed. Jacob, I have to be honest…I can’t stand this guy. Maybe it’s just my problem, because Rowan and the others all seem to be fine with him, but he just gives me very irritating vibes. I force a weak grin that definitely looks more like a grimace.

“Nothing, just a knick-knack Aurelie gave me.” I mutter, but this turns out to be a mistake. Diego chuckles and folds his arms.

“Nice, dude! Isn’t she in fourth year or something? French, too. You’re moving up in the world…”

See, Jacob, this. This is why I find him more annoying than Merula.

I feel myself sag slightly as I try to balance ignoring Diego with looking as though I’m listening. It isn’t working. I swear, having him as a roommate is a nightmare, but nothing about it is overt. He isn’t cruel, he doesn’t bully he. He just thinks that he’s charming. He stays up late at night to practice his dance moves, but I can’t exactly complain because I’m technically breaking the rules by having female friends come up to sleep in here. Which he thinks is just terrific, of course. He even has a pet rat. Mitten doesn’t chase him, and he doesn’t antagonize her much…he just occasionally eats her treats, or sleeps on my pillow. She doesn’t like that.

“Diego, look-“ I sit down on my bed. “I’ve told you before. I’m not dating any of the girls in our year. I have trouble sleeping, and so they help me. It’s not a dating thing, and it’s not a sex thing, so please drop it.” I have to be as polite about this as possible, because there’s nothing stopping him from reporting us to Jane or Sprout.

Looking dubious, he simply shrugs. “Alright, whatever you say. But don’t pretend you aren’t dating anyone in our year. I’ve got eyes, you sly dog.”

I stare at him. I don’t even know what he’s getting at this time. “I’m not.” I insist, finding the smirk on his face to be a mixture of confusing, alarming, and just plain annoying. I don’t even hang out with that many girls beyond Penny, Tonks, and Chiara.

“So you say, yet you spend a suspicious amount of time with a certain witch from Slytherin. You know, the one with the black cat and beautiful eyes?” Diego crosses over to me and nudges my arm. I stare at him, dumbfounded.

“You think I’m dating Merula? Have you _seen_ us together?”

Diego nods, now shifting slightly in place as he starts absently doing one of his dance-stretches. “Oh yeah, so much tension. So much heat…I swear you two are just five seconds away from angrily snogging at any given time.” Seeing the look on my face, he lifts his hands in a gesture of reassurance. “Hey, I’m not judging, man. Merula’s a looker. Sure, she could run a comb through her hair now and then, but she’s full of energy. Don’t look so shocked. We’re growing up. Sometimes boys like girls. Or other boys. Or both.” He gives me a wink.

You know, for someone who makes his bisexuality ambiguously clear in every conversation possible, it wouldn’t hurt for him to stop mis-gendering me…it’s really my fault I guess, because I never correct him, and I never technically informed him of my pronouns or anything. But he continues to refer to me as a boy despite literally everyone else using “They.” Can’t he pay attention? Never mind. Someday, maybe I’ll talk to him about that. Someday. For right now, I’ve got bigger problems. Like the fact that he thinks Merula and I are a thing.

“Diego, I think you’re seeing something that isn’t there.” I try to clarify, but he’s already making his way to the door, shrugging his shoulders again. He clearly isn’t buying it.

“Whatever you say man, but I’ve seen your cats together, you can’t tell me that isn’t a sign.

Oh god. Okay, Jacob, story time. About a week after Merula and I found Bitten in the Artefact Room, and he delivered a bite to my hand that needed bandaging, Mitten and I came across the two of them in the Corridor. Mitten sometimes sneaks out of the Hufflepuff Basement, but when that happens, she has no ability to get back inside. So more than once, I’ve had to follow the faint sound of “Mrooooww!” from outside the Common Room and go fetch her. The last time that happened, we caught Merula, who had just been sneaking off to the kitchens for some kind of snack.

I think she was embarrassed to have been caught, because she immediately called out. “Bitten, get Luca!” And either Merula is very good at training animals, or this cat hates me more than I thought, or some mixture of the two. Because by Merlin, he did it…Bitten charged at me with crazy-eyes and a loud “Arow!” He leaped up onto my face with abandon, and knocked me to the ground. There I was, flailing around as Bitten used me for his new scratching post, shouting at him to get off.

"Be as rough as you like, Bitten." Merula encouraged with a cheerful smirk. I think she would have just stood there, watching me get mauled, and eating her custard cake. But I’ve got a cat too, a highly protective cat who never backs away from a fight. Mitten howled and hurled herself at Bitten, only for them to tumble over each other, scampering up into a fighting stance...before dropping it immediately. As they looked at each other, they seemed so distracted. 

"Mrow?" Mitten looked uncertain. Tilting her head for a moment before letting out a tiny sneeze. "Mroooow-fwoo." There was a beat, and Bitten’s whiskers trembled slightly. Likewise, he seemed very conflicted as well. As much as he loathed me, he definitely didn’t loathe Mitten. "Rowwwwww..." He raised his paw, hovered it in the air, before brushing it gently against her chin. The whole time, Merula and I are staring at this interaction, bewildered. I’m just shaking my head.

"Arow...?" 

"...Mrow!" Mitten smiled wide, leaning in. Bitten did the same. In another moment, they were nuzzling each other's noses. I swear it was like the story Mum used to tell us about meeting Dad, only with cats. Merula and I trade glances, still not really able to believe what we were seeing.

"Uhh, Mitten, it’s time to go inside-"

"_MROOOOW_!" 

"Oh...okay." 

So that’s the story of how Mitten and Bitten pretty much fell in love at first sight, and now they spend half their time curled up in this unique cuddling formation that looks just like that Yin-Yang pendant Grandpa wears. Merula and I ended up going for a walk in the Courtyard while our cats had a date. I think Diego must have seen us that day. And by now, everyone has seen Mitten and Bitten nuzzling noses. Rumors spread like spattergroit in this school, and Tonks thinks it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. Diego seems to think that it’s checkmate for his case.

“Mitten may have a thing for scruffy, abrasive Slytherins with deeper voices, but that doesn’t mean I do.” I scoff in his direction, pushing a hand through my hair. Merula and I don’t have feelings for each other. That would be ridiculous. Though I will say that I don’t think us ever being friends in the future is out of the question, not anymore. Not after Christmas.

Diego isn’t listening though, he just keeps chuckling to himself as he heads out of the Dormitory. A few minutes later, I’m out in the Hufflepuff Common Room too, looking for Mitten. It’s her dinner time, and I’ve never known my cat to refuse a plate of sushi. Frankly, I’ve never known her not to rub my leg and vocally demand her dinner thirty minutes in advance. So this is a bit odd…after ten minutes of tearing the Common Room apart, I still can’t find her. But she wasn’t anywhere in the Boy’s Dormitory. So it’s time to search outside it.

After another half hour, after chasing down Merula and having her point her wand at me, I manage to extract from her that Mitten isn’t with Bitten. So, now I’m pretty much in full panic mode. Heading back to the Common Room, knowing full well that my own dinner time has started and everyone will be down at the Great Hall, I tear the Common Room apart again.

She’s nowhere to be found.

There’s really only one place I haven’t looked. But I don’t think it’s even possible for me to get in, and I’m definitely not allowed to try. But that won’t stop me. Not if Mitten’s up there. So I make my way toward the staircase that leads into the Girl’s Dormitories. Hey, it’s not like anyone’s going to be in there, right? It’s not like I’m doing anything weird. I just need to find my cat. Of course, the point is moot if the Dormitory rejects me, which it might. After all, I’m still physically male, so we’ll have to see. Moment of truth…

I’m in. The Dormitory actually let me in. I can think of no reason it would do that other than…okay, I might need to take a break and cry for a bit, but I still have to find Mitten so that can wait. Just like that, I’m standing in the hallway. Seeing the various doors labelled “Fifth Year” “Third Year” and so on. I check each of them, knocking before I enter, just for good measure. No sign of Mitten. With the next door on the list being Second Years, I knock again.

“Yeah? Come in.”

Oh bloody hell, that’s Penny. Is she going to be mad that I entered the Girl’s Dormitory? Oh who am I kidding, it’s Penny. I’ll be fine, at least I hope. Still, I feel nervous about responding.

“Ah…Penny? It’s me. Just looking for Mitten, is it okay if I check your Dorm room?”

“Luca?” I hear the surprise in her voice. “Sure, she’s right here.” Relief floods my entire body and I push the door open to find Penny sitting in one of the four-posters, already in her pajamas with a very content Mitten curled up and sleeping in her lap. It’s at this point that I fall to my knees and do tear up a little, because she’s safe. Jacob, you might think I’m a wimp, but let me ask you – did you ever go into the Girl’s Dormitory? No, of course you didn’t, because I’m cooler than you.

After a moment to collect my composure, I cross over to sit with them on the bed, now petting Mitten and telling her exactly how much she worried me. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose in an effort to beat her previous record. Penny doesn’t seem to think it’s at all weird that the Dormitory let me in. “After all, you aren’t a boy or a girl, right? That was what you said? So why should any anti-male spell affect you?” Has there every been anyone nicer than her? That settles it.

“Penny…Aurelie wanted me to give this to you.” Here I go. I’m lying to one of my closest friends and I stand to gain nothing from doing it. But for some reason, in my heart, it seems like the right thing to do. Besides, my desk is already perfect – it has the photo that my friends got me for Christmas. I’ll show it to you sometimes. Slowly producing the trinket that Aurelie gave me, I pass it to Penny, who takes it in her hands and admires it with wide blue eyes.

“She…Aurelie did? For me?” Hearing the tone of her voice helps reinforce the idea that I’m doing the right thing….I’m still not a fan of the way Aurelie seemed to just brush Penny under the rug during her visit. And I don’t know when they’ll see each other in person again. I feel like she should have given this to Penny, so Penny’s going to have it.

“That’s right. She felt bad about lying, and about how little time you two spent together during her visit. She wanted to give you something to remember her by.” Penny is now biting her lip and going slightly pink. This combined with how flushed she got when Aurelie kissed her on both cheeks is making me start to wonder if Penny might have had another reason for wanting Aurelie to come to Hogwarts…

“Thanks Luca.” She hugs me, which causes Mitten to leap off her lap and meow, flicking her tail up. We start to laugh, and I get up to follow Mitten downstairs. That’s when I run into Diego again, who’s doing his homework on the nearby couch. Do Hufflepuffs just not eat, or something? There’s at least three of us still here. Diego stares at me in shock and awe, as it occurs to me that he just saw me coming out of the Girl’s Dormitory. And now I probably smell like Penny’s perfume, too. Okay, the look on his face is somewhat worth it. Still, I shouldn't torture the guy. Time to explain. 

"Diego, there's something I've been meaning to clarify for you..." 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't clear already, characters may appear earlier than they do in-game, because...let's be honest. Luca and Diego are roommates. They aren't meeting for the first time in fifth year. But this chapter basically outlines their dynamic, as well as providing some ship-tease for Luca and Merula. (Not saying they're going to be canon, but even in-game, MC and Merula have absurd amounts of ship-tease, so...) 
> 
> Happy Fictober you guys!


	9. The Black Quill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a disappointing meeting with their childhood heroes, Luca takes one step closer to remembering what happened on the day Jacob vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm told it's a rite of passage to miss a day, when you're writing for Fictober...so sorry! Life happened, but today I'm doing a double-upload of two chapters. The prompt for this one is "The Weird Sisters." And...yeah, I really don't like them very much. That will become very obvious shortly. 
> 
> Enjoy!

** _May 19th, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob

Never meet your heroes. It just doesn’t go well. I suppose Flitwick is one of my heroes, but he’s more like a Dad figure than someone about whom I think “They’re so cool that I can’t even believe it, I dream of one day being like them.” Flitwick has gentle energy, but my admiration for him doesn’t come close to the obsession I’ve always had for Wizarding Wireless Network. You’re going to like this, I can tell. Remember the time you destroyed my radio because you were tired of me constantly playing the Weird Sisters? Mum made you repair it without magic. When you come back, I have a special surprise for you. We’re going to destroy that radio again, together. Take it outside and stomp it to pieces.

Because bloody hell, you should never meet your heroes. I didn’t think anyone could be both annoying, and creepy at the same time. I thought those two particular character flaws couldn’t really coexist in the same person. Then I met Diego. But he’s alright, I guess. In the end, he’s not the worst person in the world. He’s not as nefarious as “R” (I'll get to them) and he’s not even as antagonistic as Merula, but I just don’t like him. But even after I met Diego, I didn’t think it could get any worse. I was wrong. Jacob, never ever meet your heroes.

I met the Weird Sisters. No joke, I actually met them in person. They came to Hogwarts and ended up convincing me to sing in one of their concerts. Well, more like they pressured me into performing in front of a crowd when I was uncomfortable, by leveraging valuable information about my family that I badly needed. No, seriously, they had a lead on your disappearance and they held it over my head. But more on that later…I thought it would be a dream come true. I thought it would be all of my dreams come true at once, that I would be able to brag to you about it when you get back. Instead, I’m venting to Bill and Charlie because they’re available and I’m pretty much half-Weasley at this point.

Plus, I’m able to start with something they understand, Ben. One of the first things that The Weird Sisters did that gave me negative vibes was to accost Ben in the Hospital Wing and start talking trash about him. Out of nowhere, they single out a twelve year old boy with serious anxieties, and roast him. What made it worse was that they could clearly tell how socially awkward he was, and that was the point. They made it sound like they were complimenting him, but…no. Just…all kinds of no. I’m still quite protective of Ben, so this got on my nerves. But it wasn’t like they hexed him, so what could I do? They’re adults, and I’ve gotten in trouble for protecting people before anyway…

I started with the part about Ben, because I needed Bill and Charlie to take me seriously, which there was a good chance they wouldn’t. Not like I would have blamed them, though. You remember how much I used to gush about my favorite band at home? I did that with all of my friends too. Had a poster up in my Dormitory. So to my friends, it must look like I flipped faster than a niffler in a bag. Before actually meeting the Weird Sisters, after Penny told me they were on their way, I basically had a fanatic meltdown that in hindsight, I am quite mortified over. Bill, Chiara, and Charlie were all there when it happened. Boy do I wish I could take that back.

The Weird Sisters kept asking me all these weird questions, that they wanted to know the answers to just because they were “_curious._” Like, they wanted me to take off my gloves, and wouldn’t listen when I said no. I guess it doesn’t matter if people see my hands, most of them won’t even know what the birthmark means. But I just don’t want to explain it over and over, to have people shrink away from me for being a Fawley anymore than they already do. Jacob, we need to find a way to get rid of these damn things. We aren’t bound by what our ancestors did or suffered, so why does this curse keep resurfacing? Forget it, I think I’m just still stressed after my ordeal.

You know they got me in trouble with Flitwick, too? One of them put me in a position that I hate to be in – lying to people that I respect. But I was coerced into dismantling the Artefact Room when I did not want to do that, and that’s when Flitwick showed up. So I told him that Peeves did it, and we had only just missed him. Because I’m generally honest and well-meaning, I think he bought it. And now I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t even feel great about throwing Peeves under the bus. Yeah, he’s annoying and he deliberately causes problems…but he’s also just trying to have fun. I can’t really fault him for that. Plus, he helped me find Merula’s songbook. Oh yeah, I got her a song-book for Christmas. She still isn’t nice to me, though. 

I’m just relieved to have that stupid band out of my hair. I am never listening to their music again. I don’t care how catchy it is. This was a nightmare and I never want to repeat it for as long as I live. But in the end, I think I actually won. Because I got the Black Quill. I still don’t know if you know what these things are, or what they do, or if you’re aware of “R.” The entity that wrote the letter in the first place. As far as I can tell, this person was also behind Ben's disappearance. They might have been behind yours as well. You might know more than I do. But performing in the concert was the price I paid for this Quill, which is the real victory.

Ultimately, there’s nothing much that I can use. R mentions a name, someone called “_Mad-Eye Moody_” and talks about a sunken vault. Like…like a cursed vault? Sunken how…? Does that mean literally submerged in water? Or is it some kind of metaphor for something else? The Sunken Vault…the words merge into my head so easily, and yet…even trying to read them is giving me a headache. That is mildly concerning.

The only thing I have left is the fruit of my labors. The price I paid was hefty, but the Weird Sisters had one of those Black Quills that "R" is using to send people messages, and if it gets me one step closer to finding you...I guess I don't mind. After the concert, they gave me the Quill. I transfigured it back into the scroll, just to make sure that I was right, but then it went right in my pocket. The Weird Sisters wanted to see what it said, but I think you can guess what I told them. I don’t normally swear at people, not as much as Merula does, but I was fed up at this point.

…Hold on, didn’t I _just_ tell you all of that? Didn’t I just tell you about getting the Black Quill from them? Something isn’t right. I feel woozy. This sensation is familiar….

  
  
Then. It happens. Like glass cracks deep inside my brain, and I feel an incredible stabbing migraine that comes to me in flickers. Bill has to catch me because I nearly fall over. Though I can't hear my voice, the strain suggests that I'm involuntarily yelling. I raise my free hand, and strike myself. Again. A third time. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. _You were there_. You. Were. There. There you are right now in my head. Soaking wet, just having apparated, probably.

  
  
The pain is like a sharp rock, pressing me between two places, the mundane where I cannot stay, and the unknown where I must never, ever go. There are things that I must _never_ know. There's this tremendous pressure to get out of whatever mental state I'm in, like I'm stealing something forbidden. Yet I can't leave, even if I wanted to. Because I'm nowhere. I haven't settled.

  
  
Somehow, I'm still in the corridor, and Bill has hoisted me up with Charlie's help. They're taking me to The Hospital Wing, I think. But that's not going to happen. How can it, when I'm not at school? And I'm not - I'm back in my living room with you, Jacob. Soaking wet like you just took a swim, wearing some key around your neck, ranting a mile a minute like you always do-

  
  
No! No, that never happened!

  
  
But it did. _It did!_ God I need something for this pain, yet for that brief gap of time it all comes together. You did come home, Jacob. That's why Dad's wand went missing. That's why Mum never tried using it. Whenever I wondered that, I just found myself dismissing it.You came home to pack, and get a spare wand before you took off. You saw me! I came down the stairs in my little unicorn pajamas. You saw me! How could you have seen me?

  
  
All of the details are churning through my head, nothing stays settled. But you're so upset, Jacob. What's wrong? What is it you found in the Sunken Vault? Why are you locking all the doors? Why can't I go to Hogwarts, what is it that you're so afraid of? Never mind, that doesn’t matter. We need to talk. Badly.

  
  
Then, in between two of my heartbeats, it all subsides. The vision, fragmented and senseless, is no more. I miss it. I miss you. Madam Pomfrey, blurred, is forcing potions down my throat and I'm gasping at Bill to "_keep it safe._" Hoping he knows that I'm talking about the message. I can see him stuffing it into his pocket while Madam Pomfrey is distracted. Now I'm starting to panic, because everything you're telling me is slipping away. You told me something, something so important...what was it? No, no! What was it?!

  
  
Like a vivid dream that fades from your memory when you wake up, no matter how much you struggle to recall it. Seeing you is disappearing. Was it a hallucination? No, I'm sure of it. You went down into the Sunken Vault. You saw something in there. You learned some kind of horrible secret. Jacob, you had something crucial to tell me. Something about...someone? You're saying different names, I think... I can see you now, right here in front of me, your lips moving. But my ears don’t process it.

…

The next morning, I wake up drenched in sweat, but my eyes and mouth are dry. I don’t remember a thing about what happened after I got the Black Quill from the Weird Sisters. Bill apparently kept it safe for me, though I don’t even remember giving it to him. But when I go to look at the scroll of parchment…it’s blank. Jacob, I don’t…I don’t remember what happened yesterday. But they wrote an owl to Mum, and she’s in the waiting room when I get up, pulling me into a tight hug. Everyone is telling me that I had another mental break, like I did on the day that you went missing. But that’s the one thing I remember about yesterday. You…I remember now. You were there. You showed up to our house and I saw you, before you ran away. I know that happened. I just don’t know anything else. Why can’t I read the scroll? The Black Quill had a message yesterday…what was it? Where have you gone, what are up to? 

Jacob, I don’t understand. I’m scared. What have you gotten into? What am I getting myself into?

Love, Luca.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I couldn't even be bothered to look up their individual names. That is how much I dislike the Weird Sisters. Enough to write an entire chapter roasting them. I didn't even get into the whole Cheering Charm business, because...well, I'm not revealing who Luca will fancy just yet. Hang tight!
> 
> This chapter also got rather psychadelic toward the end. Please let me know if it gets confusing! I do want to keep the story entertaining, but Luca's mental health is...less stable, than their general demeanor would have you believe.


	10. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning from the Ice Vault, gravely injured, Luca receives a helping hand from an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's part two of my Fictober make-up day! Hope it's good! 
> 
> The prompt for this Chapter is "The Ice Knight." So let's deal with the fallout from that particular battle!

** _June 2nd, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob,

I spend entirely too much time in hospitals. Ben and I have agreed upon this. We’ve had a lot of time to talk recently, and we’ve agreed that wizards, for better or for worse, have no idea how to treat brain damage if it wasn’t caused by magic. Muggles study all sorts of illnesses of the mind, and diseases and disorders. Ben reckons I have something called “depression.” We bonded a lot over both having lost memories of our pasts, and Ben confided in me that over the summer, he was diagnosed with something called “Autism Spectrum Disorder.” He explained it to me, and I didn’t really understand much, but it seemed like a sensitive subject so I didn’t pry. But I want to research it more, because what he did describe reminds me a great deal of myself. I’ll have to save that research for when I get out of the hospital again.

The last few days while I’ve been in recovery, I’ve been talking a lot to Ben, who would visit me, and a girl named Badeea Ali. I know her from Transfiguration class, and she’s sitting in the bed opposite me. Apparently one of her self-made spells backfired on her. Oh yeah, I’m in the hospital again. But this time, I didn’t get smothered by a lethifold or scream myself into mental devastation. No, this time is actually somewhat worse than that. Turns out, I talk in my sleep, and now Badeea knows the story about the Silver Raccoon. I don't really know her that well, but she doesn't seem like the type of person to spread gossip or judge me. Far too intellectual. Actually, I kind of wish that I knew her less, given how the conversation turned out. 

"It's quite clear, isn't it? Oh Luca, I'm so sorry." I half expected her to say that I was mad, but instead she continues in a different direction. "If the grey curtains were replaced, then someone put them back. If a Lethifold came all this way, and nobody is talking about it, and it hasn't claimed more victims...it only stands to reason that someone released that Lethifold in the Hospital Ward." I stared at her, as she gazed back at me with wide eyes that carried far too much sympathy for my linking. But her face is set and serious as she tells me. "Luca, someone tried to kill you. Perhaps they got cold feet afterward, and conjured the Raccoon to save your life. Or perhaps that was someone else. But I can only assume the Lethifold attack was no accident, nor random chance." 

Wonderful, just wonderful. I don't want to believe it, but it fills in all the holes that are left. All of a sudden, I find myself wishing that I did dream the attack. That is wasn't real. But by now, in my heart, I believe that it really happened. And that Badeea's right. Someone tried to murder me. What do I do, do I tell someone? Do I report it to Dumbledore? Should I warn Mum? I wish you were here Jacob, you would know what to do. Right now, all I can think about is you, and the sound of your voice. Because I nearly died, again, and if it wasn’t for you, I’d probably throw in the towel right about now.

We finally faced the Ice Door again, together. Me, Bill, and Ben…see, Rowan didn’t want to go back, not that I can blame them in the slightest. But they also didn’t like that I invited Ben, since they don’t trust him...for some reason. That's actually something we've argued about. Their main suspicion is that Ben claims to not remember anything about the time that they were missing. For obvious reasons, I sympathize with that struggle. But I had faith in Ben, and he came through. We were able to repel the icy blasts with the fire-making spell. We were prepared for that. But I wasn’t prepared for the Ice Knight.

When it burst out of the door, I just gaped at it. Even now, I have no explanation for what the hell it was. It probably would have mauled me, but something broke me from my stupor – your voice. You called out my name, I heard you. Even if Ben and Bill couldn’t hear it, I could. I knew you were in there, so I charged forward. Attacked the Ice Knight ferociously, spitting fire out of the hazel wand and trying to overwhelm it. Normally, my dueling style is more defensive…but something tells me I would never have won any resilience competitions against that thing.

I was able to hold my own for a while, despite having no skill in dueling at all. But I kept the unknown creature at bay, until it unleashed this powerful gust of cold air. It threw me back, and I ended up dropping my wand, hardly able to move my fingers. I could hear Ben and Bill crying out to me, but then the Ice Knight fires a shard of ice that strikes me directly in the eye.

Jacob, you owe me so much. Just understand that, please. Because I was down on the floor, yelling in pain, shouting profanities because it just hurt. So. Much. Eyes are sensitive, I guess, and being reduced to just one of them was traumatic. Thankfully, I think the magic just froze everything in place, because there wasn’t any blood or anything. Yeah, I still faint at the sight of blood, that hasn’t changed. The Ice Knight probably would have killed me right there if Bill hadn’t rushed in and stood between us. I don’t know what I was thinking, challenging the Knight. When have I ever been known to initiate combat? I guess I have a real blind spot for you.

…I just heard it, and I’m cringing too. I swear to you, that wasn’t on purpose. I don’t make puns about grave injuries. Either way, Bill completely saved my hide, and bested the Ice Knight. He’s easily a better duelist than me and Merula combined. I was still staggering on the floor, trying to get up. Ben kept wailing that we needed to get me to the Hospital Wing, but I refused. Pushed both of them away, even with one of my eyes sealed shut. Because I heard your voice, and no force on this earth was going to prevent me from getting to you.

Only…you weren’t there. I don’t blame you for this. Whatever is going on with you, I’m sure you can’t contact me as often as you’d like. I’m sure you’ll explain it when you’re reunited. But I heard your voice and I now have proof – absolute proof, that you’re alive. We opened a cursed vault, we saved Hogwarts, and now I have your wand. What’s left of it, anyway. I just wish you had been more clear about everything…you mentioned someone, a “_her_.” Who is “_her_,” Jacob? I understand why you weren't there, but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep waiting for you, expecting to see you, and then getting disappointed. Please come home if you can. Please.

So, we made it out of the Cursed Vault, but half-way through the first corridor I collapsed. Ben and Bill had no choice but to bring me to the Hospital Wing, and now everyone knows what we did. When I woke up the following morning, I was wrapped up in enchanted heating blankets, and the left side of my face was covered in bandages. Apparently I’m very lucky to be alive, and had the shard of ice spread any further to my brain, I would have died. As it stands, I only lost the eyesight in my left eye. Which was initially quite devastating…but then something else happens.

I’m laying in bed, half-asleep, when I overhear the conversation. It’s between Madam Pomfrey, and Mum. Well great, if Mum is here then it must be serious, and I'm going to be so far beyond grounded. Especially when she sees my marks. They're just as poor as always...no use worrying about it now I suppose. Better to listen in. 

“They need a replacement, right now. If they don’t have one fitted soon, the effects of the curse will render it impossible. Nina, their eye canal is closing up.” Madam Pomfrey is talking about me, I'm awake enough to know that. Awake enough to know that my eye canal "closing up" isn't something that I want.

“Poppy, we don’t have the gold to buy one of those magical eyes. Even if we did, you know how rare they are? They’re like Invisibility cloaks, you understand? I can’t just order one from Diagon Alley.” Mum’s tone is cold, and I can tell how pained she is. Her voice gets colder the more she’s hurting. Did she always do that, Jacob? Or was it only after you left?

“That’s precisely why I’m here. I have connections, and I was able to procure the prosthetic they require.” Suddenly, a third voice, one I’ve never heard before.

Mum bites back at the third party. “Told you, we can’t afford it. Just who are you supposed to be, anyway?”

“Oh, I’m just passing through. Heard about your child’s dilemma, and decided to do a good deed. Consider this a gift.”

Silence falls for a few minutes, wracked with some kind of tension, but I can’t quite identify what it is or why it’s there. I’m still mostly asleep. Groaning and rolling over, I open the one eye that I have left, but everything is blurred.

“Luca, you’re awake. It’s time to take your potion!” Madam Pomfrey hurries over to me, only obscuring my limited vision even further. I can make out Mum in the background, staring at her hand. She’s holding something, but I can’t see what it is, and then my attention is pulled as Madam Pomfrey forces me to swallow some form of medicine. I do so without complaint, wanting her to move out of my sight-line, which she does.Mum still isn’t looking at me, but studying the object in her hand. Is that an eyeball? I must be dreaming, because Mum looks like she’s holding a bright blue eyeball. But to her right, I see-

“Give my regards to Professor Dumbledore. He’s been trying to get in touch.” The third woman turns around before I can get a good look at her, and leaves the Hospital Wing without another word. All I can make out is her long, red hair. A prickling sensation comes over me. Was that…? It couldn’t be. There’s no way.

Finally, Mum comes over to me to give me a long hug. “Luca, it’s going to be alright.” She whispers. “Turns out, you’re going to get a brand-new-eye.” She passes the eyeball into my hand. I wince slightly, but it doesn’t seem to be made of actual flesh or anything. It isn’t a real eye, so far as I can tell. But apparently, it’s magic? Does this mean I'll be able to see out of both eyes again? But if this is as rare and expensive as Mum was saying...did a stranger really just give this to us? Just drop this in my lap and leave? 

I look up at Mum. “Who was she? That woman?” I want to ask more, I want to see how she's doing. I want to tell Mum more, tell her about Badeea's warning. But I just can't. 

In response, Mum glances over to Madam Pomfrey, who offers nothing in response. She looks as though she’s doing some very quick-thinking. She stares at the doorway where the woman was, turns to look out the window, and then quickly moves to her desk to start writing some kind of letter. She's not giving anything up. Mum turns back to me. “I don’t know, Luca. But she might just be your Guardian angel. Someone out there is watching over you.”

Alright, that's a rather silly concept. I already have Guardian angels. I have my friends, I have you. But as strange as it sounds...I believe it. That woman, with the red hair…I’m almost certain that she was the one who let me into Diagon Alley. A stranger with red hair, looking out for me, doing me favors and then leaving...But who is she? How does she know me? If she does know me, why not speak to me? I don't understand grown-ups sometimes. Well, either way, I’m definitely glad she’s on my side. Especially if someone is trying to kill me, it's good to have another guardian angel.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realistically, I suppose Luca would pick Penny over Ben for Cursed Vault adventures...but realistically, there's no reason they couldn't just invite both of them, so whatever. 
> 
> But there you are! Luca is now blind in one eye, and someone may be trying to kill them...but a very cool witch with a wand-holster also seems to have their back. Now I wonder who that could be...


	11. Family Comes First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having made an important decision, Luca gives their teammate Skye Parkin some bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of the Year Two, everyone! Starting tomorrow, the prompts will be moving into the era of Year Three. But today's Fictober Prompt is "MC's Quidditch Experience." And another shoutout to Cokebottlesanddenim on Tumblr! Follow them if you haven't already. 
> 
> Let's dive in!

** _June 13th, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob,

When did you realize that the Cursed Vaults were in your future? Was there a point that you came to understand that was the path you were taking? That your fate was sealed all along? Did you have to start investigating them? After all the work Dad did to try and get our family away from the Curse, and the Marks of Despair…why did you have to go chasing after danger? I suppose I’ll be able to ask you all of these questions myself when I see you again.

Because that’s it, Jacob. That’s the whole point. I’m going to see you again no matter the cost. It’s not even a question. It never was. Whatever it takes to set you free and reunite with you is what I’ll do. If that means devoting the remainder of my childhood to the bloody Cursed Vaults, that’s simply what’s going to happen. No matter how much Rowan,Bill, and Mum try to convince me that going down into the Ice Vault was a mistake. It doesn’t matter, it can’t matter, if it was dangerous. There is no “shouldn’t have” when you’re involved. I heard your voice down there, Jacob. You spoke to me. That changes everything. It can’t not.

I’m sitting in the Quidditch Changing Rooms, with my gloves off. Staring at the Mark of Despair on my right hand…Penny was shocked when I mentioned during Astronomy how much I dislike stars. Apparently she had me pegged as a person who liked to watch the night sky. I mean, I guess it’s okay. A little boring. But I can’t ever look at stars without thinking about this stupid birthmark and how it swallowed me up as well. Just like you, just like Gail…

Someday, I’m going to visit Sirius Black in Azkaban. He’s the last surviving member of the Black Family, and Dad said it was them, that cursed the Fawleys so long ago. The Blacks are the reason why half of us are born with The Mark of Despair, so maybe Sirius Black can remove it somehow. Or maybe he can’t. After all, the story goes that he betrayed his best friends in the resistance to You-Know-Who, Harry Potter’s parents. So not exactly a person I would trust. Whatever, maybe he can fix it, maybe he can’t. But I’m not going to live with this thing forever. I’ll find a way to get rid of it.

I swear, just looking at the mark is driving me batty. Ever since I got my magical eye fitted, I’ve been able to see all kinds of things. I have no idea how to control this power, and nobody gave me any lessons. The other day, I swear I could see Mitten’s skeleton. Going into class, I have to actively focus on my textbook to stop myself from just seeing through the desk. This thing is something else. But when I look down at The Mark of Despair, I swear I can see a faint outline around it, an outline of energy. It’s the curse, I feel as though I’m literally seeing the spell. It’s enough to make me want to chop off my hand, but Dad already tried that and the Mark just reappeared on his other hand. This thing doesn’t go away so easily…but it will. I swear it will.

At the sound of movement, I look up. There’s someone just a few feet away. I’m in the Quidditch Changing rooms, following a Hufflepuff Quidditch Friendly with Ravenclaw. The Ravenclaw team wanted to thank us because they were directly affected by the Cursed Ice as well. Slytherin already won the Quidditch Cup for this year, so it was just for fun. Yeah, I forgot to mention it, but I’m a Chaser for the Quidditch Team now. Went through hell and back to get this position, and now I’m here to tell them that I’m dropping out. I get the feeling that Mcnully and Skye won’t be happy. And Orion…after what he said about family, and being an orphan…oh boy. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. But I’ve got my own family to think about now, and I feel to concentrate all of my efforts on you.

Training my eyes, I catch the source of the motion. Turns out to be Skye, and-bloody hell, I think she’s getting changed. Why can I see that? Still not knowing how to make my Eye perceive the wall between us, I just look down and feel my face burning. This Magical Eye shouldn’t be something students can have. I don’t even want to think about what Diego would do with this thing. Course, my looking away winds up being a bit of a moot point, because Skye just carelessly strides out into the open to fetch her robes, still in only a sports bra. Vaguely waving at me…I’m not as close to her as I am to Penny and Tonks, but she seems to care exclusively about Quidditch, and guess I’m part of that inner circle now. Or, I was.

I still need to talk to her, but I procrastinate a little while longer. I’m still hoping the other team-mates will turn up, cause I need everyone to know that I’m leaving. Plus, she’s probably going to get very angry at me, so I’m in no hurry for that. I’m also incredibly shy and I’d just rather talk to her with a shirt on, don’t judge me. Speaking of being exposed, I need to get my gloves back on. But about five minutes later, she’s leaving the tent, and I chase after her like I did when Penny first convinced me to try out.

“Skye! Skye, wait, we need to talk.” I stuff my hands into my robe pockets and avoid eye contact. Skye just leans against the wall, looking somewhat impatient.

“What’s up, Luca? I’ve got to finish a letter to my Dad.”

“I’ll walk with you.” I finally offer, and we make our way up to the Owlery, while I explain myself. Skye already knows about what happened in the Ice Vault of course, and when you gain heterochromia out of nowhere, you’re going to draw attention. By this point, everyone knows why one of my eyes is blue. “Skye, you and the others welcomed me in and I can’t thank you enough, but-“

“Oh, don’t get all soppy on me now.” Skye laughs, climbing the staircase ahead of me two at a time. I try to keep up with her, but she’s definitely more athletic than I am and now I’m winded.

“I don’t have any way to repay you guys, but I’ll try to. I won’t forget how much I owe you. But I owe you more than you think.” Skye stops in place, which allows me to catch up as she stares at me, raising an eyebrow. “Next year, I can’t try out again. I’m not going to be able to do Quidditch anymore.”

There’s a very icy silence, almost as cold as the Vault. Skye stares at me with a glassy expression. “Wasn’t it you, that went out of your way to prove just how much you wanted this? Didn’t we teach you everything we could, didn’t I show you my family’s special move? Or am I just forgetting stuff like you do?” Okay, ouch. She has ever right to be angry with me but there’s no need to get personal. I know the rumors have spread about my mental breakdowns, but I never thought that Skye would throw that in my face. Then again, she did trick me into mounting a broom with a Hurling Hex on it…still haven’t quite forgiven her for that one.

“I’m sorry. I know very well how much you did for me. But I can’t keep spending time on Quidditch. Or anything else…something important has come up, and I need to focus on that.” She doesn’t know that last night, I visited Flitwick’s office and told him that I could no longer help assist his classes. Technically, I was only ever required to do it four times. But I never stopped after my “detention” ended, because I loved doing it so much. Suffice it to say, Flitwick was disappointed with me, and there isn’t much that feels worse than that.

“Like what, the glory of the Cursed Vaults?” Skye sneers slightly. “Don’t you get it Luca? This is Quidditch! There’s all kinds of glory here. You can get your fix without breaking rules, and do it with friends. You don’t have to be “different.” Or whatever it is you’re after-“

“I’m after my brother.” I cut her off in a loud, but curt tone. Getting a little sick of her insults. Skye is a prickly sort of person. Not as pretentious or hypocritical as Jane, but she can be insensitive. I’m still kind of amazed that someone as selfless and thoughtful as Penny fell so hard for her. “Skye, if your Dad had disappeared investigating the Cursed Vaults, you would be bending over backwards to help me open them. Jacob is my brother, and until he’s home, safe and sound…nothing else takes priority. Nothing. Do you understand me?”

Skye’s posture softens slightly. Her face falls, and she glances down. She’s put her foot in her mouth and she totally knows it, but doesn’t want to admit it. There’s a very long pause, where I think she’s searching for something she can say in response. Some way she can cling to her point. Finally, in a weak tone, she speaks again, staring at me. “You just…put so much effort into joining the team…you had us all beguiled. And now you’re ditching us. We’re going to be out a Chaser again. What am I supposed to tell Orion? I was the one who vouched for you, you know.”

Now it’s my turn to feel bad for her. I really don’t want to put her in a bad spot. She had every right to tell me off for leaving, even if she got a bit personal in the process. However, this is the moment of silver lining. Jacob, I’m no Ravenclaw, but sometimes I’m rather brilliant. And before approaching Skye, I had the perfect plan for how to console her and make things right.

“For that, I can’t thank you enough. But now it’s my turn to vouch for someone. You need a replacement Chaser? I have the perfect person. She was afraid of heights in first year, but Ben Copper and I have been helping her learn to fly. And she knows more about Quidditch than anyone on the team, except you.”

Skye raises an eyebrow, cocking her head. “Erm, who are we talking about now?”

I grin slowly. “Penny Haywood. You know, your roommate? She’s got a great attitude, Orion and Mcnully will love her. If you give her a Try-Out, I promise you that she won’t disappoint. She’ll be far better at Quidditch than me, and able to commit to the team in ways that I just can’t anymore.”

Skye listens, and slowly nods. I think she likes the idea. “Penny’s a right sweetheart, you’ve got me there. I’ve never seen her play, but if she can handle a Quaffle, consider the conversation open.” Skye folds her arms. “I’ll talk to her tonight about it. In the mean time, you better tell the others. Because I’m not going to be the one to break it to Orion, you hear me?”

I nod gently. I don’t want to hurt any of my new friends, but they’re getting Penny out of this deal, if all goes well, and she’s a much better teammate and friend to have than me. So it’s for the best. And Penny…heheheh, Penny gets to be on the Quidditch Team with Skye Parkin. I seriously can’t wait to see the look on her face. Maybe she’ll finally be able to express her feelings, maybe she’ll finally be able to engage in normal conversation. Though, if Skye keeps walking around the changing room shirtless, I sorta doubt it.

Telling Orion is easier than I thought it would be, but it’s also very emotional for both of us. Like Bill, he’s been like a brother figure to me this year. Not that you’re getting replaced. Just consider them substitutes because of how much I miss you. But by the end of it, we embrace, and I’m crying again. I need to get over this weepy thing, and I say as much. But that’s when Orion says something to the effect of emotional expression being strength. I don’t know, I was hiding in his coat the whole time.

Jacob, I’m going to find you. Even if I have to give up everything….you broke your wand for these Vaults. You got yourself expelled. And you came home to give me some important message that I still don’t remember. So whatever’s in these Vaults, it must be important. If you can give up everything for this, so can I. Because I’m going to find you. And someday, I’m going to break another curse. Our family is going to be free of the Mark of Despair. I promise.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, I haven't actually met Orion yet in-game, and the extent of my knowledge of his character is screenshots, which is why I barely utilized him. But I feel like he and Luca would have a real bond nonetheless. 
> 
> Also Luca is the biggest Parkwood shipper ever :3 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. In Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca connects with a charming new friend, but can she be trusted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fictober, and Happy Year Three! (Still my favorite year, actually :3) Today's prompt is "Hogsmeade." So let's catch up with Luca, now that they are fully committed to opening the Vaults!

** _November 9th, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob,

I’m in trouble.

That’s a vague statement and I’ll admit that there are plenty of ways that I’m in trouble. Apparently leaving my post as Flitwick’s teaching assistant clued in all the Professors to what I was really after. I didn’t tell Flitwick, because I figured he would have a moral obligation to try and stop me, that Skye and Orion wouldn’t have. But he’s not the Head of Ravenclaw for nothing – he must have figured it out. Next thing I knew, Professor Sprout accosts me in the Hufflepuff Common Room and tells me I have to get my marks up if I want to go to Hogsmeade.

Sprout and I have never gotten along very well. She’s not very nice, and she’s not nearly as patient as Flitwick or even McGonagall. Snape is the same way, but it’s “cool” to dislike him. Most students outside of Slytherin do. But I bite my tongue about Sprout because my entire House thinks she’s awesome. I don’t. This is stupid, and I told her so, which was a mistake because she took away points from her own House. But I don’t care, it _is_ stupid. I wasn’t afraid to tell Jane, and I’m not afraid to tell Sprout.

Marks have never been a contributing factor to whether or not a student can go to Hogsmeade. It’s always been that you get to go, automatically, if your parent or guardian signs the form, and Mum did. Sure, Hogsmeade privileges can be revoked if a student’s behavior is consistently bad, but…taking those privileges away before a student can even start going, is totally, _totally_ not a thing. They’ve never done this, and it’s driving me crazy that were applying different rules to me. Hufflepuff is supposed to be about fairness.

Not to mention that the whole thing was pretty transparent. They weren’t punishing me for what I did last year, they were trying to keep me from investigating the Vaults any further. When I appealed to Sprout, and talked about being able to follow a lead on you by going to Hogsmeade, she made it clear that this was all the more reason the staff couldn’t let me go. She didn’t even try to pretend otherwise. Merlin’s beard, Jacob, you were their student too. Do they not care about your well-being? I lost an eye for this school and this is how they repay me?

Sorry, I just needed to vent for a bit. It’s all a moot point because I ended up finding a way to Hogsmeade anyway. Long story short, I’m an Animagus now. Youngest ever, apparently…well, actually I’m not. There’s another boy who helped me, Talbott, but he’s unregistered so it doesn’t officially count. I got registered, and I’ve never seen McGonagall look so proud of me. That’s a whole different story that I’ll tell you some other time. But McGonagall made the case to Dumbledore that learning to become an Animagus like her is proof enough that I’ve been devoting my attention to academics, not lawless adventures. Eh, I think she’s just happy my form is a cat.

The further I get in my Hogwarts career, the more I realize that the majority of the teachers don’t seem to like me, or trust me. Which might be why I get into trouble so much. It’s mainly just McGonagall and Flitwick that I can open up to. Sure, Dumbledore is nice to me, but how do I put this gently? I don’t believe it. It’s hard to describe, since everyone respects him so much…but he seems rather contradictory. Two times now, he’s basically dumped House Points on me for breaking rules, and making sure Hufflepuff didn’t come last. But now he doesn’t want me to investigate any further? I’ll reserve judgment for now, but Dumbledore strikes me as somewhat two-faced.

On the other hand, people like Hooch, Pince, and especially Filch are just downright nasty. Don’t even get me started on Filch right now, I had to break into his office because he confiscated your notebook. And by confiscated, I mean stole. Because it’s not like it was dangerous or dark. It wasn't contraband, or anything a student isn't allowed to have. We weren't even on school grounds, leaving me quite dubious as to how much power he actually held over me. It was just your old notebook, and so it was rightfully mine, especially since Madam Rosmerta gave it to me. She’s a delight, by the way. She still returned the notebook even after I accidentally poisoned all her customers. That was another time I got in trouble.

But I truly had no idea what trouble was, Jacob, I really didn’t. I thought I did – you would think that dueling Merula or even the Ice Knight would give me a better understanding, but not so. I didn’t know real trouble, not truly…until I met her in person. Turns out, trouble is an Asian Ravenclaw with long red hair. With a Zonko’s notebook sticking out of her pocket, carrying quills that squirt ink in people’s faces like gobstones, and wearing a smirk that made me feel things I can’t even describe… her name is Tulip Karasu. And she’s amazing.

Let me elaborate – to earn the pleasure of her company, I first had to disarm a dungbomb strapped to her toad, Dennis. She had to make sure I passed muster, before she would share plans with me. Okay, that isn’t really ‘amazing’ and I don’t why I described it that way. But…she just is. And she’s trouble. So much more than I anticipated when I first found her lock on your door. Thankfully, I was able to disarm the bomb, so now she’s agreeing to meet me in Hogsmeade.

There she is, sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks, eyeing a table nearby…probably planning the best way to prank the people there. I approach the table, but she doesn’t see me yet. Gulping slightly, I pull out the hazel wand, deciding to make an entrance. Wait, since when do I make entrances?

“_Engorgio_…” Tulip’s glass of butterbeer swells to twice its normal size. She looks away from the other table and back to her drink, and I see the surprise etched on her face. Now’s my chance. Pulling up a chair to sit across from her, I grin.

“Second round’s on me.”

“Luca Fawley! How did you do that?” Oh yeah, she calls me by my full name. It’s this verbal tic that she has, which is way more endearing than it really should be.

“See, this is _my_ kind of prank.” I explain. “Harmless and victimless.”

She grins at me. “My pranks don’t hurt anyone….badly. I told you, Dennis was a willing co-conspirator.”

I just shake my head, trying not to roll my eyes. “Whatever you say…” Our eyes meet and we both start laughing at the same time. Hanging out with somebody has never felt quite like this, I don’t really understand it. But I like it. 

As we get into the main course of the conversation, I employ one of my best skills to coax Tulip into opening up. And that skill is talking. I don’t know why, it might just be that I’m a total cinnamon roll, but people always feel comfortable around me and inevitably open up to me…incidentally, Chiara confessed a pretty big secret to me on Halloween. Turns out, she’s a Werewolf. But it’s okay, Penny knows too, and I’ll swear you to secrecy once you read these letters.

But this is how I convince Tulip to trust me. She turns out to be a case of strict parents keeping her chained up at home, so when she got to Hogwarts, she exploded. Now I really can’t wait to introduce her to Tonks, and everyone over in Hufflepuff…though she might be a bit much for Ben. There’s more, though. That’s when Tulip drops a pretty big confession on me. Merula. You know Merula, the one with Bitten. The one who refuses to be my friend and yet still insists on talking to me all the time. She’s hanging out with new people now, this freaky goth girl named Ismelda who says legitimately scary stuff, and this big burly guy called Barnaby. He seems to be an alright bloke, actually…but he’s fiercely loyal to Merula, and not the brightest candle either. But it turns out, Merula only started seeking new friends after her falling out with Tulip.

I never knew this. I never had any inkling over the past two years that Merula had any friends at all. I don’t mean that to sound cruel, but I’m just being honest. Her personality was, and is, prickly. She rebuffed any attempt I made to bond with her. I never saw her spend time with Tulip, or anyone else. So I just thought she was lonely. But it turns out,she and Tulip were best mates…a little more than mates, actually, for the past two years. That’s mostly a guess, but judging by the way Tulip keeps smiling to herself and blushing, I think she’s leaving out certain details. Whatever, none of my business. The important thing is that they were partners in crime, right up until Tulip betrayed her.

Whoa, that is not how I expected the story to end. I figured Merula must have done something to terminate the friendship. I assumed it must have been her fault. But no, Tulip comes clean and admits that she wanted the glory for herself and so she turned her back on Merula. Despite everything, I feel bad for my rival. She’s been through a lot…but so has Tulip. I reckon she was expecting me to judge her, but that’s just not going to happen. Guilt can be its own form of punishment. We both know that firsthand, don’t we Jacob? Besides, I don’t think I could ever judge a person who’s looking at me like she is. Those puppy eyes…Jacob I’m in so much trouble. I’m in deep.

“Tulip, listen. None of us are perfect. Merula sure isn’t perfect. My friend Rowan is weirdly suspicious of other people. My friend Ben is afraid of his own shadow. My friend Penny makes rash, dangerous decisions when she’s stressed.” It’s true. Someday Jacob, I’ll tell you about the forgetfulness potion she nearly drank. “And my friend Tonks…I think you’ll like her. She’s a prankster too.” I lean in closer, without knowing what I’m doing, and place my hand on top of hers. Tulip looks up and seems surprised. I hope to god I didn’t just make a mistake.

“But I bet none of them would ever betray you. Not like I would. How can you be so sure that I won’t?” She stares at me with those brown eyes, and I feel a shiver going up and down my spine. Eye contact is terrifying, and with Tulip it’s twice as much so. But I can’t look away. I just can’t.

“You’re right. I have no guarantee that you won’t. But I believe in you anyway. That’s called trust.” Well, it’s either that or my strange and sudden inability to blame her for anything she’s done, but trust sounds better. In general, I believe in second chances, so it adds up.

Tulip stares back at me, her lip trembles slightly. Before she shifts her hand to lock it in mine, lacing our fingers. Jacob, give me strength here, because it turns out taking her hand was most definitely not a mistake, and I don’t know what to make of that. I don’t know how I’m still conscious.

“Thank you, Luca Fawley.” Tulip suddenly grins that wicked grin, and I know once more that I’m in deep, deep trouble. “Let’s go make some chaos.”

I don’t like chaos, Jacob. You know I don’t. So it’s astounding that Tulip is able to make that sound as tempting as she does. Feeling my heart pound, I slowly grin back. "Ready when you are." 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm gonna say it - Tulip is super underrated. I'm so glad she's finally in the story. Expect to see a lot of her in Year Three and beyond. 
> 
> Also, the Animagus Side-quest is a prompt for later in the month, so we'll be returning to that, don't worry. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Gail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Tulip at their side, Luca must confront their innermost fears and misgivings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober Day Thirteen! And how appropriate that the Prompt is "MC's Boggart." Yes, in canon it's Voldemort...but honestly, to hell with canon. At least on this. If there was only one thing about MC that I could change, it would be this. You'll see. 
> 
> Enjoy! Please let me know your thoughts!

** _December 14th, 1986_ **

Dear Jacob,

My third year has been full of surprises, and I don’t know if that’s entirely a good thing. People like Merula are still mostly predictable, Bill is a Prefect now, and Rowan’s suspicion of Ben hasn’t lifted. Tonks and Tulip get along like a house on fire, just like I thought they would, and Mitten is just as adorable and demanding as ever. Still totally in love with Bitten, which I will never understand…but despite that, I still feel like a completely different person from last year. I never would have guessed Chiara was a werewolf, or that Penny would have to watch her friend die. Never dreamed I’d be an Animagus before the end of term, and I sure didn’t expect to meet someone like Tulip…though neither of those things is objectively bad. Like, at all. I’m really glad they happened, just so we’re clear.

But I don’t know how I’m going to face Mum when I see her over the holidays, Jacob. Or how I’m going to face you….because my third year has had a number of surprises, and some of them were great, but others….are still affecting me. I wonder what Tulip will think of me after what happened. After she saw my Boggart…after she saw you.

Jacob, I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say to you right now. If I should apologize, or if this says something about you….I don’t know, because I didn’t expect it. Didn’t expect to see you striding toward me…at first I was happy. So happy. But then you started talking. Saying horrible things, that I’d rather not relive. Although Tulip heard them…she’s technically the first one to ever see you, in thinking about it. I always thought Rowan would have that honor. But maybe this doesn’t count. I don’t know.

I just know that the Boggart would have definitely killed me, or whatever it is Boggarts do to their victims, if it hadn’t been for Tulip’s quick thinking. I didn’t realize it was a Boggart. I never thought you would have been my boggart. I went right for you, before you started talking about me, and about Mum and Dad…about Gail. Tulip heard that too. I fell to my knees and I know I was crying, and you were getting closer, acting as cruel as ever…the way you were dressed, I swear you looked like some kind of Dark Wizard. I barely recognized you. After you grabbed me, you looked me dead in the eyes. And then, you started to tell me a secret. I’ll never know what it was, because that’s when Tulip blasted you back with “Relashio” grabbed my arm, threw a dungbomb behind us and took off running.

I was still crying the whole time. Mortified that Tulip saw me in such a pathetic state, but hey, at least she’s getting to know the real me, right? I swear, we must have sat there in silence for half an hour, before Tulip finally got up, brushed herself off, and told me. “That must have been your Boggart…”

I didn’t say anything for a moment; I just sat there in total dismay. “I didn’t think…I didn’t think it would be him.” And I swear, Jacob, I honestly didn’t. I don’t even know why it’s you. It shouldn’t be, it doesn’t make any sense. “I guess I just figured…it would be the lethifold.” I mean, either that or the Ice Knight. Jacob, why did it have to be you? Why am I so afraid of what’s happened to you? Do you scare me? Do I still know who you are? The deeper I dig, the more I find out about you. Merula said you joined the Death Eaters, and I know that’s not true, but…just what have you been doing?

Tulip is staring at me. “Lethifold, the living shroud?” At which point I blushed slightly. It was time for her to learn another one of my secrets. It’s not like I don’t trust her, I definitely do, it was just awkward to talk about.

“A Lethifold once tried to kill me, and it may or may not have been sent by someone… a Patronus saved my life, and I don’t know who sent that either. Which is why I’m claustrophobic...and why I get anxiety about sleeping.”

“Luca Fawley, you’re just full of surprises.” She said, looking at me with this bright look in her dark eyes. As though this was something she found appealing about me, which I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I shook my head. “I don’t know why it would have been Jacob, I mean…he’s a good guy. I swear he is” And you are. I know it’s still true. “He doesn’t talk like that…unless he’s really stressed. Even then, it was extreme…”

“Merula used to say he went rogue after he got expelled. Did all kinds of terrible things and got himself killed.” Tulip folded her arms. “Maybe the rumors about him are rubbing off on you. You said you have trouble sleeping, have you ever had nightmares?”

“No, I haven’t had any nightmares since-“ I broke off. Suddenly, I felt shy. No matter how many times I tried explaining to Diego that sleeping next to my friends isn’t a romantic thing, it always seemed like he saw it otherwise. I found myself hesitating, because I really didn’t want Tulip to think that I was just, like, dating all my friends or something. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with people who do that, I guess, just that it’s not happening and I really, really wanted to make sure Tulip understood that. Damn, I’m in so much trouble. “I don’t really get nightmares anymore. My friends and I always share beds to help each other sleep. Platonically! Very much platonically.”

Tulip nodded and looked thoughtful. “Merula and I used to do that. I won’t tell if you won’t.” Still don’t really get what Tulip apparently saw in Merula. I mean, I get it, since Diego has pointed out all her better qualities to me on multiple occasions, but…still. It’s Merula.

Tulip and I remained silent for a few minutes longer and just sat there, recovering from what happened. Before Tulip spoke again, completely throwing me for a loop once more.

“Luca Fawley…if you don’t mind my asking…who’s Gail?”

Oh god. I did, I did mind her asking. She couldn’t even fathom how much I did not want to answer that question. How much I just wanted to shrink into nothing and never think about that question again. But no matter how much you tell me to get over it, Jacob, I never will. How can I? At Tulip’s question I tried to fight back more tears. “Gail is…was…my sister. My twin. She’s dead.”

Tulip didn’t ask for any more details. No matter how chaotic she may be in nature, she’s also smart and empathetic and she knew better than to press the issue any further. It’s not like it’s a crazy story anyway. It’s just one that I’ve never told anyone before. Not Penny, not Tonks, not even Rowan. But I’ll never forget what you said about her. About Gail being the reason Mum and Dad pulled away from us so much. That it was her fault they were afraid to love us. You blamed her…you actually blamed her. Jacob, I love you, you’re my brother…but I will never forgive you for saying that.

“It’s not like…it isn’t a big deal or anything. She was stillborn, that’s all. But up until we were born, we were both healthy. No one knows what caused her to die, except-“ I broke off and clutched at my right hand where the Mark of Despair is. I still don’t know if she was marked like us. I never knew. “So, yeah…Jacob’s not the first sibling I’ve lost. People say our family’s cursed, and maybe we are.

“Curses…can have upsides to them too.” I didn’t initially believe what Tulip was saying. I figured she just found the whole thing interesting and wanted to cheer me up. “You get to uncover secrets about yourself, and whatever power affects your family, could be something you can learn to wield.”

Maybe, maybe not. I really didn’t care, and I still don’t. So I just shook my head. Not wanting to rebuff her attempts at sympathy. Using power as a consolation…it suddenly occurred to me that her only experience with comforting someone must have been Merula. “That all sounds really cool, but…I don’t care about power. I care about people. Sometimes, you can’t have both. I just wish Jacob understood that.” Because…I do. That’s something that I genuinely am upset with you over, you know.

Tulip didn’t say anything in response, she just took my hand and held it. Which was the second time we’ve held hands and if I wasn’t so depressed in the moment, I might have wondered and overthought things and second-guessed my signals and hers. But I didn’t do any of that. I just sat with her for a while, until we got up and headed back to our Common Rooms. Still don’t know what Tulip’s Boggart is, and though it’s morbid, I’m genuinely curious. But when I asked, she told me “I guess we’ll just have to find out together.” And I was more relaxed by that point, so that’s a line that I DID overthink and lose sleep over. Jacob, I’m in so much trouble. Help me. Come out of hiding and give me advice or something.

There were still a couple more days before term ended, and Tulip spent most of them performing “harmless” pranks in an attempt to cheer me up. Well…harmless by her definition. Filch got frogspawn in his trousers, but I’m still mad at him for stealing your notebook, so that actually did crack a smile from me. Then she somehow charmed the Slytherin Quidditch banners a shade of magenta, right before Hufflepuff had a match against them. Oh, by the way, Penny did make the team. She’s a Chaser now, and she alternates between thanking me and cursing me for setting the whole thing up. But while Penny deals with her crush, I’m dealing with mine.

Last year, my friends got me a special present that I still treasure, it’s a picture frame of all of us together. It helped give me some positive memories of Christmas that aren’t, well, ruined by you disappearing. Again, I’m not blaming you…or maybe I am. I don’t know. But my friends made everything better. I don’t know if Tulip and Merula traded presents, but I did get Merula something because back then I thought she had no one…and she basically has no one right now. But since we’re all going home for the holiday this year, that’s not really on my mind. What is on my mind is that a certain someone released doxies in Snape’s office on the first morning of Break. And I shouldn’t find that funny…but I kind of do, a little. Trouble. I am in.

For most of the train ride back to King’s Cross, I’m sitting with Chiara and Rowan and Penny. I did introduce Tonks to Tulip in the last week of term and as I expected, they became best mates almost instantly. So I think they’re sharing a compartment and probably brainstorming new schemes, but I really want to try and catch Tulip if I can, before the ride is over. Want to wish her a happy Christmas, if nothing else.

The train grinds to a halt, the four of us tumble out of the compartment, and everyone starts to exit the train, spilling onto the station. I look around for red hair. Weaving my way through the crowd, until I hear “Mrow! Mrow mrow!” And Mitten starts tugging at my leg, flicking her tail in the opposite direction. Yep, there’s Tulip. I make my way toward her while trying to look normal, as Mitten trots beside me. But when I reach Tulip, she suddenly turns around and, Jacob, I’m not kidding – she has Snape’s face. Read that sentence twice because it makes absolutely no sense but I’m dead serious.

After I fall over in shock and Tonks bursts out laughing, I just stare at her crossly. Changing back to her normal shape, she proceeds to help me up, before the real Tulip tackles me in a hug from behind me. These two seriously planned the whole thing, and despite two mild heart attacks and a great deal of indignation, all I can really focus on is the fact that Tulip is hugging me. Perhaps I've made a grave mistake by introducing them to each other. No, not really, but...am I going to go back to school to find the castle on fire? 

Once Tonks waves goodbye to us, going to greet her parents, I say goodbye to Tulip as well and manage to actually sound pretty normal. But you know? She got the better of me again, and as it turns out, she got something for me. I don't realize it at first, because she isn't upfront about it. She just managed to slip something into my cloak’s pocket during all the commotion. I realize it only when I'm back at home, and now I just feel stupid for not getting her anything. I don’t open Tulip's gift until I’m safely in my bedroom, where mum can’t see. It’s….some kind of necklace. With a Z on it, in a round shape like a…dungbomb. Hold on a second, I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen Tulip wearing this same pendant…

Jacob….help….please….cause I think I’m in love.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah if it wasn't clear from the previous chapter, Luca's crushing hard on a certain rebellious Ravenclaw. 
> 
> Also! See what I mean about the Boggart? Regardless of your MC's backstory, doesn't Jacob being the Boggart make so much more sense? This is the hill that I will die on, so help me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and happy Fictober!


	14. The Songbook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Frog Choir Auditions coming up, Luca must figure out a way they can make everyone happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober, Day Fourteen, here I come! Today's Prompt is "The Frog Choir" which is one of my personal favorite TLSQs, mainly because it prominently features both Tulip and Merula. As well as not featuring Penny. ((I adore her and so does Luca, but come on Jam City. She doesn't have to be a main character in every single TLSQ. Spread the love!))
> 
> Enjoy!

** _February 12th, 1987_ **

Dear Jacob,

I don’t sing. You know I don’t sing. Never have. Sure, you and me and Mum and Dad used to sing carols at Christmas, but…those are carols. They’re supposed to be sung badly. And you can hide your voice among others. You could always sing well, but you could always do everything well. Wow, that sounded so bitter. I’m not bitter, please don’t think that. I just wish I had some kind of common talent other than just generally being nice.

Not only do I not sing, but I’ve been avoiding extra-curricular activities as a rule. I was a Hufflepuff Chaser for all of ten minutes before I quit, I showed up to one Dueling Club meeting at Diego’s prodding, where Bill wiped the floor with me. Never came back after that. There’s a Charms Club, apparently, and Flitwick has appealed to me to join more than once. I’ve considered it, but I really don’t want to get invested in any projects beyond the Cursed Vaults. At least not until I’ve got you back.

So when Tulip approached me with Dennis and asked me to audition with him for the Frog Choir…I did in fact tell her that yes, of course I would, because I’m in such deep trouble. However, to my credit, there was a pretty long discussion first. I told her about not wanting to pursue any extra-curricular subjects, but this isn’t for her, it’s for Dennis. People have called her daft for caring about what her pet thinks so much, and feeling like she can communicate with him. Such people are idiots, because animals are wonderful, and I happen to completely understand the feeling of knowing your pet like you know your friends. So I was sympathetic. When I asked Tulip why she didn’t just audition with Dennis herself, she flushed and made a confession to me.

Tulip cannot sing, at all. To the point where other people have collectively come together in an effort to ban her from singing…which just sounded needlessly cruel. Always believing in her, I insisted that maybe she just needed a little training, that surely it couldn’t be that bad. She continued to insist that it was, so I asked her to prove it to me. We went out to the empty Quidditch Pitch and she sang a song by Celestina Warbeck.

_Your every wish is my command_

_My fragile heart is in your hand_

_And now, at last, I understand_

_The magic about you!_

With all due neutrality, I will concede that Tulip didn’t know how to sing, not one bit. However…it may just be my bias, but her voice certainly wasn’t painful to listen to. She had described it as being like nails on a blackboard, but…no? Not even close. She had a lovely voice, and when that voice made sounds, it was pleasant to hear. Doesn’t mean that she had a talent for staying on key, or on pitch, or whatever it is. I couldn’t say, I don’t actually know singing very well. I conceded to her that she didn’t have much natural talent, which I think she appreciated the honesty…but I still insisted that she was nice to listen to.

So in the end, I accepted Tulip’s quest and now I’m auditioning for the Frog Choir with Dennis. Thankfully, he seems to like me well enough, and he mostly gets along with Mitten. That’s important. Supposedly the only other human Dennis likes is Merula. Oh yeah, she’s been a problem like always. She’s got her heart set on auditioning for the Frog Choir as well. It’s something she’s always wanted, and there’s only one seat available. According to Rowan, Merula can actually sing. Like, beautifully. Fancy that, Jacob. Tulip with the voice of a (pretty) banshee, and Merula with the voice of an (evil) nightingale…still, I think I actually could have seen this coming.

Merula accosted me earlier today on the training grounds, challenging me. Insisting that if she could beat me, then I would have to drop out of the auditions. Somehow, despite my never agreeing to those terms, wands were drawn, but only after I insisted the cats stay out of it. So Mitten and Bitten trotted off to the lakeside, but not before Bitten hissed at me, and Mitten nipped at his tail.

Somehow, Merula has managed to get me involved in a duel at least once every single year, I don’t know how she manages it. Well, maybe she’s also sore that I’ve been talking to Barnaby. We get along rather well actually, but he still won’t join our cause. Oh well, one thing at a time. By the time I’ve beaten Merula, bringing the score to 2-1 for my end, she just throws her wand down in the grass and turns away from me. I’m not completely sure, but it looks like she’s trying not to cry. She mumbles something, something about her Mum. This is where I hesitate. Her parents are in Azkaban, Jacob. They’re a sensitive subject, especially her Mum.

I try to wish Merula luck, already knowing she’s going to rebuff me. Which she does, before grabbing her wand and starting to leave…only to bump right into Tulip, who was on her way outside. There’s a very awkward stare-down, before Merula shoves past Tulip and leaves. The motion causes something to fall out of her pocket, and I try to call out to Merula but I can’t seem to say words.

Tulip slowly turns back to me, looking flushed again. “I’m sorry, Luca Fawley. I should have known Merula would try to audition. Her mum was on the Frog Choir too, she must want to honor her somehow…”

Merula, honoring someone? Well, if it was going to be anyone, her Mum makes the most sense. Seeing Tulip and Merula together makes my stomach turn in ways that I can’t describe. Two of my worlds are colliding, but wait, that isn’t right. I didn’t feel this way when Tulip met Rowan or Tonks. Besides, Tulip has known Merula for years. This isn’t “my” world…and maybe that’s why I feel so weird about it. “I suppose even Merula has people that she loves…”

I didn’t mean to say anything awkward, but Tulip bites her lip at this, looking quite embarrassed. Looking away and trying not to involve myself in whatever emotions she’s feeling, since they’re probably private, I occupy myself with picking up the object Merula dropped. Wait a second, this is…her song-book. I’ve seen this before, because I’m the one who gave it to her. It fell open to a page in the middle, with her messy scrawl of notes adorning one song in particular.

_This feeling’s utter bliss_

_Yet something seems amiss_

_Like a Dementor’s Kiss_

_You’re consuming me!_

I would know this handwriting anywhere, but I also know this song. This is the same song Tulip was singing. My eyes fall on one particular note in the corner. My stomach twists and turns, seeing “_M.S. + T.K._” written inside a heart. Actually, there are a few hearts on this page. I quickly shut the book, not wanting to intrude at all, but that’s when I realize Tulip was reading over my shoulder. I glance down, feeling ashamed. I didn’t mean to read anything private, I just recognized the song. But now I understand why Tulip knows it, and she understands that I know.

She looks at me, and I really wish this whole conversation felt less tense. “Merula and I…well, we fancied each other. Our falling out was also kind of a…y’know, a breakup.” With that, I feel a deep breath escaping my lungs. We both knew it, I had my suspicions for a while, but I think Tulip needed to officially tell me, given my own history with Merula. At least, I think that’s the reason.

“Well, if you saw something in her, she can’t be all bad. And…” Oh no, don’t say it Luca, don’t say it. “If she could see how great you are, well at least she isn’t blind.” Luca. Why did you say that. Jacob, tell me to shut my trap, because I really need to stop talking. Tulip stares at me with those wide brown eyes and I clear my throat, wanting to spare her the trouble of having to respond to that terrible line. “I should…I should take her book back.”

“Let me do it, Luca Fawley. She might hex you if she sees you with the book.”

“And she won’t hex you?” I tilt my head.

Tulip grins her wicked grin. “She knows I keep certain items for “insurance” to protect myself from that very possibility.” So I pass the book to Tulip and watch as she heads back into the castle. At this point, I just need to stop overthinking these things. I have enough to worry about with the Frog Choir auditions, not to mention the Cursed Vaults. Right now, I need to get back to the Hufflepuff Basement where Dennis is waiting, and rehearse with him.

As for Tulip, well…whatever happens, is what will happen. She has feelings just like Merula and I do, and no doubt she’ll make the decision that’s best for her based on those feelings. I can respect that. By this point, I just wonder if she knows…no, she has to know. Everyone else does. I can still recall when I told my friends. Penny squealing with delight, Ben and Rowan just looking at me and shaking their heads, and Tonks laughing for about five minutes…don’t even get me started on Diego’s smug grin. I just assume that it’s obvious, but I suppose acting shy and sweet and flustered is pretty much my normal personality.

Once I’m in the Hufflepuff Common Room, I make a beeline for the Dormitories, looking off to one side to avoid Jane. We still don’t get along well, but on the bright side, she gave Diego a double detention when she overheard a very rude joke he made about Tulip being hot because she was Asian, and he stopped talking for the rest of the day. Jane, could you do more of that please?

Making my way into the Dormitory, I find Dennis waiting on my bed. He lets me know how annoyed he is at my being late with a loud “Crooak!” Rowan is in the dorm too, studying. I greet them and scoop Dennis up.

“Rowan, would it bother you if I practiced singing in here?”

“…Marginally. But first, is there a reason one of your ears is a turnip?”

“Huh? Oh!” I completely forgot. Why am I so inattentive? Yeah, Merula hit me with a jinx that turned one of my ears into a turnip during our duel. It was a pretty good shot, actually. I suppose Tulip didn’t remind me to undo the jinx because…because she’s Tulip, and she thought it would be funny. I’ve got the measure of her now. “No wonder it felt so plugged up…_finite_!” Yeah, my hearing just got much clearer. Setting my wand down on the desk, I absently pick up my Remembrall - the glass instantly filling with red smoke like it always does. 

Rowan simply set their quill down and folded their arms. “Going to fill in the blanks or do I just have to worry that you’re going on even more adventures without me?” Ouch, okay. I know we haven’t been spending as much time together, but there’s no need for cheap shots. Rowan can get jealous sometimes. Not…not like, like _that_. But just, you know. Jealous. I was their first friend, and I kind of think that they’re friends with the others only because I am.

“Trust me, between battling boggarts and dueling Merula, you’re better off taking a breather for a bit." I set the Remembrall down, and the red smoke fades, leaving a faint purple mist behind. "I don’t even really want to do this…any of it. But I need to find Jacob, and keep my promise to Tulip. That’s the only thing that’s stopping me from…” I break off, looking down.

Rowan stares at me. “From what, Luca?”

The thing is, I’m tempted to drop out of Auditions like Merula wants. But at the same time, I almost get the feeling that her beating me fair and square will mean more to her than if I threw the match. Sure, she could paint it as my being pathetic and scared. But she knows me by now, and she knows that I pity her…I don’t think Merula wants pity. She wants her pride to be validated. She wants to feel like she's the best witch at Hogwarts when she says so. This is all a moot point of course, since like I said, I have to keep my promise to Tulip. I have to help this moody little toad fulfill his dream.

“From…nothing…there’s no point in thinking about it. I’d just rather be enjoying Hogwarts than putting it under a micro-sopp.”

Rowan raises an eyebrow at me. “You mean _microscope_?”

I snap my fingers. “Yeah, that thing.” Ben has been teaching me muggle phrases. I don’t know what a microscope is but I know it functions like a revealing spell. I wonder if it works on people’s minds, so we could make out their deepest thoughts. I could use some help figuring out what I want and think. Looking over at Dennis, I keep wishing there was a way to give both Tulip and Merula what they want. They both deserve this.

That’s when it hits me. Merula, with Dennis, on the Frog Choir. Tulip’s happy, Dennis is happy, Merula gets her dream, and I…well, I’m not involved at all. But despite feeling oddly melancholy when I think of it that way, it doesn’t diminish the giddiness I feel for having figured out what to do. I need to talk to Tulip about this tomorrow.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Tulula is officially canon! Or, it was anyway. How will Luca, Tulip and Merula deal with their emotions going forward? I wonder...
> 
> We also see the beginnings of distance between Luca and Rowan. Stay tuned to see where that goes as well.


	15. In Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca must accept a hard truth about one of their new powers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as the half-way mark? Well, either way, happy Fictober! Today's Prompt is "Animagus Form" Like I promised, we're returning to that particular subplot! Please enjoy, and leave me all your creative comments!
> 
> EDIT: I still can't figure out why Ao3 will sometimes allow me to indent, and sometimes not. Apologies if there are any inconsistencies.

** _May 27th, 1987_ **

Dear Jacob

  
  
I really like turning into a cat. They're small and flexible and the fur coat is toasty. Transforming into a bird would have been okay, I guess. Flying is useful. But I've flown on brooms too. It's not the best feeling in the world, let me tell you. The lack of ground beneath your feet is very disarming. I suppose turning into a dog would have been nice too, but I don't know that I can really match their energy. Besides, Mitten would never have forgiven me. Cats are the way to go. I just wish everyone would stop saying the same thing. It started the night I became an Animagus.

  
  
Penny was there. Jacob, can we adopt her? She's seriously the best - she and Talbott, this other boy, who refuses to call himself my friend but he totally is, were the real masterminds behind the Animagus potion. The most difficult thing I did was keep a mandrake leaf in my mouth for a month. Because that's part of the process, I guess. Still though. They did most of the work, and still wanted me to reap the benefits. To be fair, Talbott is already an Animagus. Transforms into a big golden eagle. But Penny doesn't want the chance? She could have been a great dog. All of my other friends insisted that I was the best choice as well. I think they just wanted to give me this. Maybe help climb out of my depression or something. I really love them.

  
  
So there I was, standing in the pouring rain, holding the potion in one hand. Penny was holding her cloak over her head, Talbott was hiding under a statue-head in his bird form. It was difficult to hear Penny's shouts over the howling wind, but when I heard her direct me to drink the potion, I did so, right as another clap of thunder sounded.

  
  
The feeling was...strange. Obviously not as scary as being smothered by the lethifold, but I couldn't describe that with words and I don't think I can here either. It wasn't painful exactly, but I didn't understand it. My insides were shifting. Like the magic from within me was starting to boil and writhe. Something was alive inside me. I could feel a second heartbeat. I cried out and fell down to my knees, throwing out my hands to break the fall. Only they weren't hands. They were little paws.

  
  
"You did it! You did it!" I heard someone shouting, but the wild storm made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. Thankfully, it was beginning to subside. So I tested myself. First things first, I was a lot shorter. I felt as though I had several more arms and no legs. But in reality, three of those were my legs and-my tail? My tail! As the rain faded out and the clouds parted, I instictively found the rays of sunshine. Had walking on all fours always been this easy?

  
  
Beside me, Penny and Talbott appeared, Talbott having transformed back. He took one look at me and frowned. But Penny was beside herself with Pet Fever, asking if I was comfortable with her petting me. In response, I pushed my head against her ankle. She got the message, and Jacob, have you ever had a belly rub before? I didn't expect to like them as much as I do.

  
  
It was in the middle of the belly rub that Talbott finally spoke, crushing my heart in the process.

  
  
"You look just like Bitten. Y'know, Merula Snyde's cat? You're a dead ringer for him."

  
  
Penny immediately tried to shush Talbott, but it was clearly a "_I-Wasn't-Going-To-Tell-Them-That-But-It's-Definitely-True"_ type of shush. But no, that can't be. Come on...I got up and headed toward a nearby puddle and peered down at my reflection. A tiny cat stared back at me with wide eyes. One of them was pine green, and the other was bright blue. However, Talbott was entirely wrong and after I changed back, I told him so. Just because I happened to be a black cat as well didn't mean we looked the same.

  
  
Later, I paid Mcgonagall a visit and told her. After learning how to join the Animagus registry, my next step was to go see Hagrid and play with Fang, his puppy. Lastly I went back to the Hufflepuff Common Room to write Mum a letter. While I was sitting on the couch with Rowan, Chiara and Mitten, it occurred to me that I could show them my new power, so I did.

  
  
Merlin's beard, those couches are so comfortable as a cat...but after I transformed, Chiara and Rowan made appropriate sounds of amazement. However, it was Mitten who looked up and stared at me wide-eyed. "Mrow...?" Cats have a way of smiling, even if you wouldn't think they can, and Mitten was clearly excited. "Mrooooww!!" She proceeded to flop on me, set me in place, and start grooming my head.

  
  
That was when Rowan and Chiara decided to ruin my day. Apparently, both of them also thought I was the spitting image of Bitten, and didn't even seem to notice the blue eye. They proclaimed that to be the reason why Mitten was so happy. I gave out a reproachful "Arow!" And Rowan just stared at me. They even thought I sounded like Bitten. Which I didn't, and I don't. Mitten was simply happy that I was able to turn into a cat at all.

  
  
Ever since then...everyone, and I mean everyone that I show my power to, makes the same mistake. Everyone foolishly assumes that I'm Bitten, or that I look like him. No one ever seems to spot the blue eye, apparently it's less noticeable on a cat. Maybe I'm the only one who can see it, I don't know. What I do know is that people are stupid and I don't look like him. Yet every time I try to insist on this, Mitten trots by and gives "Mrow." In the affirmative. I love you Mitten, but stop it.

  
  
I think the worst example was the other day, with Barnaby. He and I are friends now and he finally sided with me and Tulip over Merula. Jacob, Barnaby is a sweetheart, but also not that bright. Just keep that in mind. In any case, I realized that he hadn't seen my cat form yet, so I found him in the Library and transformed. Approaching him and rubbing my side against his legs. Barnaby is so gentle with creatures, I've seen it in class. So his reaction was a silent gasp of joy, before he gently picked me up. Pince was focused almost exclusively on Tonks, like usual, so she didn't notice. It's not like I was getting cat fur on any books or anything either, so maybe she wouldn't have cared. But Barnaby gave me a belly rub and not for the first time I felt that inexplicable sensation that caused me to spontaneously start purring. It was going wonderfully, until Barnaby spoke.

  
  
"You're never this friendly, Bitten. Does this mean you won't bite me anymore?"

Jacob, it was a very sad day. But do keep in mind what I said, Barnaby, for all of his wonderful strength and kindness, isn’t the sharpest knife in the kitchen. So it makes sense that he would have made that mistake. It means nothing, and we shouldn’t take it to mean anything more than nothing. Things don’t really take a turn until a few days later. Tulip and I are preparing with Tonks to head down into the Vault of Fear. Thought about asking Bill, but he’s a Prefect now and I don’t want to put him in that position. Besides, Tulip and Tonks really do make a great combination. Someday, I’ll tell you about the time we all pranked Rita Skeeter. But I’ve got bigger things to worry about now than her.

Merula accosts me in the corridor, in what is hardly the first time, and demands some answers. Mitten and Bitten scurry off to a corner to assume their yin-yang position, as Merula wants to know my progress on the Vault of Fear. Now, I’ve made it clear to her on more than one occasion that I’m definitely open to working together. That if she’s willing to cooperate with me and not, y’know, attack me, I’d be happy to have her help opening the Vaults. She can take all the glory she wants, I’m just doing this for you. But the issue is, Merula doesn’t want to work “together.” I think her experience with Tulip left her bitter and regrettably it only worsened her trust issues. As a result, I likewise can’t trust her to keep her word.

But Merula isn’t done yet. “I heard a rumor about you, Fawley. A rumor that you became an Animagus. Is it true?”

Well, word travels fast I guess. Like I said, Jacob, I’m registering with the Ministry. I’ve got enough trouble to be getting on with already, no need to start breaking laws that I have no quarrel with following. So it’s not exactly a secret, and so I just shrug my shoulders. “You heard right. What about it?”

“So I bet you think you’re better than me, huh? Bet you thought you could get to the vaults faster if you had powers I don’t, is that it?” Merula starts to get all up in my face, and I just sigh. She smells like cloves, oddly enough.

“Actually, I just like animals. Come on Merula, I thought you were the best witch at Hogwarts. You’re afraid of a dork like me?”

“I’m not afraid!” She snaps, stamping her foot. In the corner, Bitten gets up to shout an approving “Row!” Merula meanwhile, folds her arms. “I just wanted to break it to you that you’re not as strong as you think you are. So why would I fear you? I can do it too. See?” Merula then seems to fall over, and-

A white cat is crouched in the spot Merula was standing. A very, very familiar white cat. Mitten and Bitten are staring at her with wide eyes, and I think I must be too. Because Merula, now in cat form, looks around at all of us and clearly doesn’t get what we’re all gawking at. “Mrow? Mrow! _Mrow mrow!_” She starts making a fuss. I slowly sink down to the floor, looking over at Mitten, who now looks quite smug. Bitten is still surprised, trotting over to Merula, and starting to nuzzle against her.

For her part, Merula ultimately accepts the affection. I decide now is the time for me to head out, so I scoop up Mitten and we make our way to the courtyard to meet up with Tonks and Tulip. The whole way there, Mitten is triumphantly mrow-ing, and while I can’t understand her perfectly, the tone is clearly one of “_I told you so._” Not that I admit to anything. Well, at least until Mitten starts biting my finger. Then I concede.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since there's no prompt for the Side-quest in Year Five where Merula finds out MC is an Animagus, I decided to take some creative liberties. Now there are -two- sets of black and white cats running around Hogwarts, which means twice the mayhem.


	16. Buried Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of their third year, Luca must confront feelings they've been trying to suppress, and take the next step toward solving the Hogwarts Mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F is for Fanfiction!   
I is for...I like writing!   
C is for...could I have chosen a more annoying gimmick?   
T is for...totally still doing it, though.   
O is for...oh my god, there are so many letters.   
B is for....block, writer's block  
E is for....Extremely happy that the word is almost over  
R is for....R, the mysterious entity haunting MC! 
> 
> .....I am so, so sorry. 
> 
> Happy Fictober you guys! Today's Prompt is "MC's new friends" But while they're included, this is really more of a "season finale" to Year Three. And it's low-key the longest chapter so far. But I'm actually quite proud of how it turned out. Please enjoy!

** _June 17th, 1987_ **

Dear Jacob,

  
  
This has been an extremely emotional year for me. I don’t know how the hell I survived it. I’ve met people this year that I can’t imagine my life without. Tulip of course, but also Talbott Winger and Barnaby Lee. He took a hex for me. That boy is now forever on my “must protect” list, alongside Ben. I’ve also seen sides of my friends that I never saw before. I had to stop Penny from wiping her own memories of a friend who died, and Chiara asked me point-blank to kill her if her werewolf form ever got out of control. That one was a hard no. I really don’t believe in killing, and I’d cut off my hand before I ever aim a killing curse at Chiara. Then there’s Rowan. My oldest friend, my dearest friend…who is also the most lonely, vindictive, and paranoid. But I’ll come back that. I really want to focus proper attention on them.

In the meantime, we stormed the Vault of Fear. For how traumatic it ended up being, I actually went in pretty confident. Had Tonks, Tulip, and even Mitten backing me up. Turns out she doesn’t like being left behind on Cursed Vault missions and when I tried to send her back, she howled quite a bit. Couldn’t risk being followed or overheard, so I caved. We dueled Merula and Ismelda, Tonks threw a plant at Pince (No really, that happened.) and we headed inside. It was something else. Found out that Barnaby is afraid of clowns, but I didn’t actually see if that was his Boggart. Tonks is apparently quite self-conscious about how she looks normally, and her worst fear is losing her abilities. Tulip, on the other hand, well her Boggart is Merula.

Except it’s not really about Merula. Her real worst fear is the idea that she might betray someone again for personal gain, just like she did to Merula. That she’ll wind up alone and friendless because she can’t be trusted. I can't convince her that isn't true, that wound can only heal with time. As far as Tulip and Merula go, there hasn't been any closure, either. They're still uneasy and at odds, but they still clearly have residual feelings. I was with her when she first fought a Boggart, and I could tell how much it affected her. She and I haven't resolved anything either. I don't know how she feels about me. But it was with Tulip that I realized Boggarts aren’t always literal. Some fears are deeper, and more abstract. Jacob, I’m not really afraid of you. Or what’s become of you. I mean, I am, but that’s not what it’s really about. I understand that now.

During the investigation of the Vault of Fear, one of the Boggarts suddenly came flying at me, and I finally found out what Boggarts do to their victims if they actually get close enough. Or at least, I have some idea. The Boggart was particularly interested in me – probably because I was the most afraid, or maybe it was worried I could see through its illusions with my magic eye. Which is something I haven’t tried yet, would be interesting to explore. Either way, it grabbed me, and took me to whatever nightmare zone it comes from, probably where lethifolds and other monsters that go bump in the night call home. Or maybe I hallucinated it all.

But I was alone with you, or well, the Boggart, in some kind of void. I didn’t know what I was going to do at all, because you’re always so serious. This is actually quite sad when I break it down, but I don’t have any memories of you that I would call “funny” or “amusing.” The Jacob Boggart was determined to crush my spirit. It had one goal in mind, and that goal was clear – suicide.

Hearing your voice, hearing you tell me that my friends would be safer if I pitched myself off the Astronomy Tower…that affected me. Even if I knew it wasn’t really you saying it. The familiarity of your voice compounded with the terrible things you were saying…telling me it was the only way to see you and Gail again, that Tulip was better off with Merula and Rowan was better off without me. It tapped into some serious insecurities, because I always do feel like a burden to my loved ones. But I know they still love me, and personally? I’d be torn apart if one of them died. So I fought back with as much mental power as I had.

It got worse, though. Yes, even worse than that.

“What makes you think I would ever come back? That I’d even want to? Luca, I asked you for one thing. One simple thing…I told you the most important thing in our lives and you can’t even remember it. Why do you want me back, anyway? Your life is clearly going on fine without me around. You don’t care enough to tell Mum or anyone else where I am.”

“I don’t know where you are! I’m trying to find you!” I had shouted back. “The only reason I’m doing this is to find you!”

“No, you’re doing this because without it, you have nothing. You are _nothing_. Nobody cared about you before you opened a Vault. You were just another cursed Fawley, living in my shadow. There’s no point in going on, Luca. Just finish what’s already over.”

“My friends cared about me. Penny, Tonks, Ben, Chiara…”

“What about Rowan? Did they ever care? Or could it be something else that they’re after…”

“_Riddikulus_!”

The void broke, and my mind broke too. I guess Boggarts must have some way of breaking in to your thoughts and memories, otherwise it could never have known the things that it did. About you, about me, about my friends…it must have been using some sort of dark magic to mess around in my head. And whatever it knocked over in there sparked a chain reaction. I’m really fragile, apparently, because this was my third mental breakdown in just as many years.

I was floating in some sort of frozen lake. Don’t ask me how that works, because I don’t know. But the lake was frozen, and yet I was drifting in it. The water was ice-cold, and I was aware of that. Yet I didn’t feel anything, not so much as a shiver. Then you were there, emerging from the lake, causing the ice to fracture. You forced your way out Jacob. Clutching something in your palm, but the fog was too great for me to see what it was. You fell to your knees. Cried out one word, just one – my name.

I broke again. I was back in the house. You were already gone, and I was lying on the floor in a twisted, unnatural position. Mum was screaming, and Grandma was trying to calm her down. Nobody knew where you had gone, they just needed to get me to St. Mungo’s. But it was hours after you left. The trail was dead. You were-

That was about when I snapped back to reality, once again breathing so hard that I can only assume I was suffocating before. Almost reminded me of the lethifold. Man, asphyxiation is another thing I have anxiety about. No wonder I don’t like swimming. Ben and Penny have taught me how, but I will never enjoy it. Only after several breaths did I become aware of my surroundings. Everyone was battered and exhausted, but Tulip…Tulip had her arms around me. She had been holding me, apparently, trying to wake me up. Well, that dose of surprised joy was all I needed to get back up on my feet. I was woozy for a few hours, but I think I’ve grown used to this stuff by now.

Jacob, when you get back…once I’ve found you…we have some things we need to talk about. Not just you and me, but Mum as well. There’s just too much that’s been sitting unsaid in our family for too long. What we blame Mum for, what she needs to say, what I blame you for. How we feel about Dad and Gail and just the Fawley legacy in general. We’re sick, Jacob. We’re all sick. We don’t have spattergroit or dragon pox, and we can function in ways that Alice and Frank can’t, but that doesn’t mean we’re healthy. You have issues. Mum is depressed and hasn’t cast a spell in years. You and I need to work through a lot, there’s so much that I blame you for, and I’ve been in denial about it. Because I didn’t want to feel anything for you that wasn’t positive…actually, there’s a lot more I’ve been in denial about.

We were all sitting at the Three Broomsticks when it happened. We were celebrating our Victory, celebrating another curse broken. Tulip convinced me to enlarge everyone’s butterbeer glasses, and Charlie made me promise that I would bring him the next time we open a Vault. I was working up the courage to try and say something to Tulip, to ask her about maybe writing each other this summer, at the risk of her sending me prank letters. After all, I already write Rowan, Penny, Bill, Chiara, you…well, you’re a special case. But I never got around to it.

The long story short is that Rowan publicly accused Ben of hiding something, of lying about his memory loss, and potentially not even being on our side. It was horrible. I could see Ben starting to have an anxiety attack, and I felt helpless to stop it. Rowan tried to involve me, they asked me to back them up and I…I just didn’t. I think it may be the first time I ever actively chose not to support Rowan when they needed it. It wasn’t like I returned fire, it was passive. I just told them to calm down, and said that I believed Ben…because I do. I know how it feels to struggle with memory. I would have thought that Rowan, my best mate, would understand that. But I guess they don’t. The Ben thing is really starting to cause a strain between us.

Eventually, everyone started piling out to head back to Hogwarts. Barnaby had to feed his pet Cruppy, Rowan needed to study for their final exam, Ben seemed to vanish out of nowhere, poor bloke…as they were leaving, I kept thinking about what you…about what the Boggart said in the Vault. How none of these people would care about me if I hadn’t followed in your footsteps. I don’t want to believe that. But didn’t Tulip and I only connect because we were both in pursuit of The Cursed Vaults? Would we ever have met if I wasn’t poking around? Even Merula probably wouldn’t be interested in me if not for them.

Eventually, the only people left were me, Penny, and Tulip. So we started to clean up the table. Tulip bumped into me while I was picking up up empty goblets, and I felt a rustling sensation – she definitely either picked my pocket, or planted something on me. Probably another “harmless” prank, but I didn’t check yet. I was still worrying about Rowan and Ben. I couldn’t understand Rowan’s vehement suspicion at all, where was that coming from? It was based on nothing…as I mulled all of this over, I suddenly noticed something. A quill that was left behind, where Rowan was sitting…must have fallen out of their pocket.

It’s a black quill...even seeing them these days always puts me on edge. Good thing it wasn’t Ben’s. Rowan would have seen that as a checkmate. Which would be ridiculous for so many reasons. For Merlin’s sake, Ben’s name doesn’t even start with…

Doesn’t…even….start…with…

The goblet that I was holding clanged onto the floor, causing the remaining patrons of the Three Broomsticks to look up. But I wasn’t giving them the time of day. I was frozen in place, slowly starting to shake. The tremors were mild yet they ripped through me so violently that surely I must have looked mad to everyone else.

“No…no…no no no…”

Of course, Penny and Tulip noticed immediately, and sat me back down. “Luca, what is it? What’s wrong?” Penny put a hand to my forehead, and Tulip just stared at me, biting her lip. I felt her grab my hand, and I wish I could say that I was able to squeeze back…but nothing mattered in that moment. Nothing but fear.

“What is it? What’s happened?”

I didn’t answer at first. I couldn’t. I needed to get through the wave of fear. I wonder Jacob, what do panic attacks feel like? Because I’ve only ever seen them from the outside, and this felt like one. All of a sudden, I knew something I didn’t want to know. I could see something so clear, that I didn’t want to see. But even going blind, and ripping out my magical eye, couldn’t erase that I had seen it.

Jacob. Rowan’s name starts with an R.

It’s a simple, minuscule thing. It shouldn’t have mattered to me at all. It shouldn’t have been enough to sow the seeds of doubt in my head, and quite frankly, I felt ashamed and guilty that it did. But I couldn’t turn off the doubt once it was in there. I couldn’t will it away. Because Rowan’s suspicion of Ben had always given me a bad feeling, from the very start. An uneasy feeling. Before they were suspicious of Ben, Rowan tried to suggest that it was already too late for him, that we wouldn’t be able to save him from the cursed ice. And ever since we did, they’ve done nothing but cast aspersions that never really had any basis.

I think I noticed it a long time ago, and simply chose not to realize it. Is that possible? To push down feelings and realizations that you’d rather not have in your mind? Can we as people do that? Well, I don’t seem to be able to do it anymore, regarding this. All of a sudden, I understand why Penny wanted to take the forgetfulness potion.

“It’s Rowan.” The words managed to escape my throat, and then I was crying right there in the Three Broomsticks. “Rowan…I think…I think Rowan is involved.” Admitting it out loud split me in two, but I couldn’t keep it in. My brain already feels as though it’s keeping too much locked away. There are places in my own psyche that I never go, because I just can’t. Is that normal?

Despite my slurred, sobbing statement, and despite my ambiguous words, Tulip and Penny caught the meaning. They exchanged a glance, and said no more. I wasn’t in any condition to talk much. You see Jacob, I’m an emotional wreck, and the simple idea that my friend might be working against me, compounded with the guilt I felt – and still feel – for even letting such a dishonorable, traitorous thought cross my mind…it was a lot to deal with.

Eventually, I calmed down. Told Penny and Tulip that I was going to be fine, and asked them to go on ahead without me. After all, I still hadn’t yet paid my tab to Madam Rosmerta, who has always been very patient with me. I also just needed some solitude. I trust them not to tell anyone else what I said, certainly not until we've had a proper conversation about it. Now that they’re gone and it’s just me, I sit down back at the same table. Consider ordering one more Butterbeer before I head out. Rummaging in my pocket, I’m able to locate what Tulip slipped in earlier. It’s a scrap of parchment. I pull it out to see her address written in familiar handwriting. Oh…I suppose she and I had the same idea.

This briefly cheers me up, and I’m smiling like a fool when another goblet of butterbeer is placed on the table in front of me. Must be Madam Rosmerta. I lift my head to thank her, reaching into my bag for a pouch of galleons, but I freeze mid-sentence.

Jacob, it’s her.

It’s the red-haired woman from Diagon Alley. The one who gave me my magic eye…Mum called her my Guardian angel. She looms over me, looking taller than ever, but it might just be that I’m sitting while she’s standing. My mouth just hangs open for a moment as she folds her arms. “Never travel alone. Word on the street is that Jacob was kidnapped by two Aurors, here in broad daylight. What if I was here to abduct you? You’ve got a lovely group of associates to watch your back, don’t you? Make good use of them.”

I stare at her. “You…know my brother?”

Her face shifts slightly. Her jaw tightens. “I know of him. Anyone can read the Daily Prophet. But for people in our line of work, his story should be required reading.”

I’m starting to wonder if I somehow already know her, and simply can’t remember the last time we spoke. Given my mental history, it’s not out of the question. “O-Our line of work?”

The red haired woman grins at me. “Curse-Breakers. My name is Patricia Rakepick. I’ve arranged a deal with Professor Dumbledore, to investigate the Vaults myself. I expect we’ll be seeing more of each other next year. Don’t disappoint me, Luca Fawley.”

And with that, she’s gone.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Year Three comes to an end! My various plot-threads and augments to canon shall continue! 
> 
> Let's be honest...we all suspected Rowan at one point, didn't we? Or at least entertained the possibility that they were R. 
> 
> There she is, the guardian devil, Madame Rakepick has entered the chat! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Are we really already on Year Four? Wow!


	17. Crushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now in fourth year, Luca must face a greater challenge than Boggarts and Lethifolds - the threat of hormonal imbalance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year Four time! And Celestial Ball time! That's today's prompt, "The Celestial Ball" So let's catch up with Luca and find out who they're going to ask! (As if it wasn't obvious already, to those following along.)

** _November 19th, 1987_ **

Dear Jacob,

Being a teenager is rubbish.

I loathe it with every fiber of my being. Everything was so much simpler back when…oh Merlin. I can’t remember a time when things were simple, actually. Forget that, my point is different. Things have always been hectic, but now the simple experience of having emotions just feels like it’s gotten ten times more complicated, and we got nothing out of that deal change. Take it from someone who, according to Badeea, would really benefit from seeing a “_Tharepist_” to help my problems with my mind. I struggle mentally, but even this is beyond my wildest dreams.

Jacob, asking people out is hard.

Specifically, asking Tulip. Because really, was I going to ask anyone else? Diego is _still_ carrying a torch for the “Luca and Merula” pairing, but that’s because he’s Diego and he doesn’t have the faintest idea of what’s going on with other students, he only thinks he does. Like…this bloke has no idea about Tulip and Merula. That they used to have…well, something. A relationship, I guess. I don’t know if it was ever official, but they shared mutual feelings and were both aware of that. Actually, on second thought, I’m very glad Diego doesn’t know about that. That’s just not something he ever needs to be aware of.

Asking Tulip out, making the attempt to discuss feelings and potentially augment the state of our friendship, shouldn’t be this stressful. I’ve got a lot more going on that should be affecting me worse than this. I’m worried that I can’t trust my best friend in the world, isn’t that more important than the shivers I get when Tulip smirks at me? Well, sure…but I’m so beyond used to that kind of anxiety. I’m so used to existential dread. But wondering what Tulip thinks about me…what she thinks about Merula…and whatever the hell Merula is thinking…I’ve never felt things like this before. This is an emotional battle that I’m unfamiliar with. I’m blind in the water.

It’s all blending into a big mess. Rakepick, my “guardian angel” is at Hogwarts now, as some kind of special advisor. And let me tell you, Jacob, she’s no angel. She’s a force to reckoned with. I don’t even know what to think about her, striding into the school like she’s hot stuff and telling me in no uncertain terms that the Vaults are her project now, but I can maybe sometimes help in smaller ways, if and when she deems it appropriate. Like…does she not understand that I have personal reasons for never giving up? Does she not realize that I’m already invested? It’s not like she doesn’t know about my losing an eye. Rakepick has helped me on so many occasions, but it’s not so cut and dry. Ben and Rowan are terrified of her. And Tulip flat-out does not trust her.

Tulip Karasu…Jacob, I’m still in trouble. And this trouble is going to get me killed one of these days. On the first day of term, I was talking Ben down from a panic attack he had about Rakepick, when Hagrid showed up to tell me about the next Curse that was infecting Hogwarts. The Sleepwalking Curse. And Tulip was the first person to be affected. Suffice it to say that I bolted out onto the grounds so fast that I actually left my wand behind. Tulip turned out to be fine, but the instantaneous, protective instincts I felt led to a lot of self-reflection that night.

People are getting up, fully asleep, and wandering toward the Forbidden Forest. I feel as though you must know something about it, with all the investigating you’ve been doing. I just wish I could talk to you directly. Figure out how to break the curse. Then again…haven’t I always said that once I found you, I wouldn’t need to pursue the Vaults anymore? As cool as Rakepick is, I’m wary of becoming too much like her. I don’t know if I actually matter to my “guardian angel” or if she’s just trying to keep me out of the way. But even if she’s not, I worry about learning her ways. She mentioned during one of my private lessons (gotten a few of those, by the way) that things don’t interest her unless they’re deadly or dangerous. Given my past activities at school…the same thing is almost true for me.

I love Charms of course, but even my marks in that subject have been waning. It’s frankly a miracle that I always manage to scrape by exams. Hagrid introduced me to the Magical Creatures Reserve, and I think I’ve found the place that I want to live forever. But I’ve barely visited the place. I never stick around, I just check on Barnaby Junior. At Merula and Rakepick’s prodding, I finally joined the Dueling Club to better my skills in combat. Sometimes I’m afraid of what I’m becoming, and I know Flitwick is worried about me. Curiously enough, despite he and Rakepick being polar opposites, he was one of the people who spoke out in her defense. His endorsement went a long way in building my trust, actually. At the end of the day, I believe in Rakepick, but it also isn’t lost on me that she’s not the best mentor for a Hogwarts student. Do I really want to end up like her? I say this, and yet I still have the wand holster I bought day one, because it reminded me of her and looked really cool…

Ben almost seems to know something about Rakepick that he isn’t telling us, which has furthered Rowan’s suspicion. At this point I feel like dropping to my knees and begging Rowan to let it go, because every time they accuse Ben, I only get more uneasy, and more afraid of what they may be hiding. Why would Rowan be so fixated on Ben, unless they’re intentionally trying to point the finger at somebody else? But apart from Rowan and Ben, Snape doesn’t trust Rakepick either. That…actually doesn’t change my feelings at all…sorry Snape, but I know jealousy when I see it. But Tulip…her opinion matters to me.

Nobody knows better who can and can’t be trusted, then the people that have dabbled in being untrustworthy themselves. That was why I always believed in the vibe you would get on different customers, Jacob. I didn’t always trust what you would say, since we both know how good you were at lying…but anytime you got a bad feeling about somebody, you were usually right. I would throw my wand away before I doubt Tulip, but she does have a history of betrayal. So she knows what she’s talking about. That said…I don’t know what to make of Rakepick. Merula, on the other hand, has already made up her mind. Rakepick is awesome, and she wants to be just like her. Well, that kinda figures.

We’re all figuring out who we want to be, and we’re all changing. Dynamics are starting to shift. Barnaby is a lot closer to my friends now. They spend time with Rowan, they spend time with Penny, and they spend time with Ben. It’s a lot easier for people to hang out with the group through Penny, as a matter of fact. That’s how Talbott usually manages it. He finally admitted that I’m his friend, by the way. Only took helping him find his Mum’s necklace. Meanwhile, I’m spending a lot of time with Bill and Charlie Weasley, and Chiara is…doing something. Don’t really know what’s on her mind lately.

Recently, she withdrew from the whole sleeping cycle we established back in year one. She doesn’t participate anymore. While I should feel hurt by that, I don’t. I understand, or at least I think I do. For some people, sharing a bed is inherently romantic. I mean, Tulip and Merula used to do it as well. Plus, we’re teenagers now, and sleeping next to someone might feel awkward for Chiara in ways that it never used to. Especially a “boy.” I mean, I’m not a boy, but everyone knows what gender I was assigned at birth, and in fairness to Chiara, not everyone can see me without that lens so easily, even if they want to. She was extremely apologetic about it and we all tried to reassure her. Tonks actually reckons there’s more to the story. It’s not a werewolf thing, because by this point the four of us all know about that. Chiara has always been a bit more reclusive, but she’s going off by herself a lot more now. Tonks thinks she’s seeing someone and doesn’t want to tell us. Guess we’ll find out at the Celestial Ball.

Oh yeah, there’s going to be a Ball. An actual school dance. Ben is petrified; he thought that he could escape them when he left muggle schooling, where they’re supposed to be far more common. Neither Ben nor Rowan, who is still pining for Bill, really wanted to go to this thing. But I’ve been talking them into it. The best thing about the Celestial Ball is that they’re reached a sort of truce for its duration – they aren’t arguing about whatever Ben is or isn’t hiding. As expected, Penny is at the helm of designing this event. Which is why I’ve also been trying to make sure Skye Parkin attends. Penny is still tongue-tied around her, but they’re much better friends now. They can actually hold conversation about Quidditch, and other topics too. It’s only when Skye starts complimenting Penny, or…dare I say, flirting with her? That Penny regresses into flushed mumbling.

This is why being a teenager isn’t easy. No one trusts each other, everyone has different opinions, everyone is on a different journey, and we start seeing people in different ways than previous years, when we were entirely comfortable with how we saw them before and unwelcome to random change. And everyone has crushes. Well, everyone except Charlie. Bill and I have talked to him about this. Girls and blokes will send him signals, and he’ll feel nothing. Just keep his walls up. He’s pretty sure Andre Egwu has caught feelings for him, but that’s not going to go anywhere. Charlie calls it “ace” which is frankly an awesome word. In some ways, I’m jealous. I don’t understand the way I feel about Tulip and Merula. But strangely, I don’t want the feelings to go away.

Oh merlin’s beard Jacob, there she is. I asked her to meet me in the Courtyard and she’s right there. Looking as cute as ever, just as ready for action as she always is…approaching Tulip, I stuff my hands in my pockets, and we start talking. I drop the question. I ask her to the Celestial Ball.

...Jacob, I need you to hit me with some kind of hex. I’m obviously having another mind break, because there’s no way Tulip said yes. But if I imagined that, then why is she smiling so big? Oh, I like that smile. Well if I’m dreaming, the dream hasn’t ended, so I may as well enjoy it for as long as I can.

“Chaos tends to follow you, Luca Fawley, and you do know how much I love chaos.”

I find myself chuckling out of pure joy. “Funny you say that, because you always follow chaos, and I-“ Thank god I realized what I was about to say, and shut my mouth. But I didn’t do it quickly enough. Tulip heard what I said and it wouldn’t take a Ravenclaw to connect the dots. Jacob, kill me. Just kill me. Have I wrecked everything?

“A-and you what, Luca Fawley?” She stares at me, with those wide brown eyes that are so much more effective than she knows. What was the phrase Badeea used? A deer in the sunlight? Some kind of muggle saying…but yeah, I’m a deer in the sunlight. I’m doomed.

“I…I-I…” Just then, a nearby sound distracts both of us. Somebody falls down behind a tree. I figure maybe someone is playing Gobstones and got sprayed, but Mitten, who has been grooming herself lazily in the shade, suddenly gets up and dashes over to that very spot.

“Mrow? Mrow! Mrow mrow!” She chirps all excited, and we hear a familiar voice.   


“No, no Bitten, stay here!” But a black cat emerges and starts to nuzzle noses with Mitten. I will never understand her, because not only does she adore that cat, but Mitten has also made it clear that she’s a fan of Merula. Which is just strange – she normally hates anyone who antagonizes me. Speaking of Merula, it turns out she was eavesdropping. Stumbling out from behind the tree, she stares at us. I feel my blood run cold. Did she…overhear?

Merula turns away and makes her departure, and Tulip and I exchange an awkward glance. We’ve never really…discussed Merula, in this particular sense. I don’t know if Tulip still fancies her. I suppose I would understand if she did. But Tulip said yes when I asked her to the Ball. Does that mean she fancies me? Would she have said yes if Merula asked? Suddenly it hits me – Merula was probably going to do just that. Bloody hell…

However, an answer arrives in the form of Barnaby, taking his Crup for a walk. He glances at her retreating form. “Oh, did you guys see Merula?” He asks with that adorable, doe-eyed smile. Tulip and I exchange another glance.

“Briefly…” I mutter. Barnaby nods slowly.

“Well, she definitely wanted to see you, Luca. Overheard her talking to Ismelda. They were talking about crushing people. But I don’t know why Ismelda would want to crush me…” Barnaby leans down and sits criss-cross for some ear-scratching. Mitten takes a seat next to Barnaby’s crup and they sniff each other politely. “Merula was very determined about crushing you, though.” When Barnaby says this…he looks up at me, not Tulip.

A strange, prickling feeling is starting to rise up my back. Like Barnaby Junior is crawling all over me. “Um…she said that? She wants to “crush” me?”

Barnaby shrugs. “I think she said she was already doing it, but that didn’t make much sense.” He adopts that same, confused look in his eyes that he usually gets. “Don’t you have a pretty even score in dueling her? And I never knew she crushed Tulip before. Tulip seems like she’d be good at dueling.”

Yeah, it’s not just Barnaby Junior. It’s like, a hundred bowtruckles swarming me. That’s what this feels like. Tulip and I stare at each other. Barnaby, of course, is oblivious to the wide range of emotions we’re sharing that even I don’t understand.

Jacob, I really hate being a teenager. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Love, Luca.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot. Twist. No but really, I've found that writing Barnaby is a lot of fun too. 
> 
> Don't worry, even though I didn't depict the actual Ball in this chapter, we will later see certain parts of it. I won't spoil how, but we will. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. Pure of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a suspiciously familiar foe attacks Hogwarts, Luca will need help from their allies - including an unexpected one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are getting longer on average, so let me know if it's too much! I just have a lot I want to say about Luca and their story...
> 
> Happy Fictober! Today's prompt is "MC's Patronus" which is no doubt easy enough to guess by this point, so let's dive in!

** _January 13th, 1988_ **

Dear Jacob,

Last year I talked about getting to know my friends better. But I’m still learning new details and secrets all the time. I’ve become convinced Ben is hiding something. I trust him, I still don’t think he’s working for “R” but I also get the feeling that he’s not telling the whole truth for whatever reason. Maybe he’s trying to protect us, maybe he’s afraid. I don’t know. Meanwhile, Rowan and I have never been more distant. For the first two summers of my Hogwarts career, I spent at least a week at the Khanna Farm. Didn’t do that last summer…visited the Burrow instead, Bill and Charlie’s home. I wasn’t intentionally spurning Rowan, it was just that Bill offered first. Plus I was…feeling awkward around them. It was right after my breakdown in the Three Broomsticks. So yeah, that hasn’t gotten any easier.

Here’s something else new I learned about a friend recently. Tonks is the niece of Bellatrix Lestrange. Yeah, Lestrange. As in, that maniac that tortured Uncle Frank and Aunt Alice and left them catatonic. Tonks normally doesn’t like talking about it. But she admitted to me that she’d worked out a while ago that I was related to them, and felt so ashamed. Had to talk her through guilt that she doesn’t deserve, but the only way she felt better about herself was by “making it up to me” and teaching me the Jelly-Legs Jinx.

This is the reason she makes such an effort to change her appearance. She’s a metamorphagus (I’m going to butcher the spelling on that, most likely) so it’s easy for her to make her hair purple or green or pink, usually pink, depending on her mood. There are other things too. Eye shape, eye color, nose shape, the whole plate. Tonks hates to look in the mirror and see her real face. Because she’s the spitting image of her mother, Andromeda, and Andromeda is the spitting image of Bellatrix. I reckon using her surname (Her first name is actually Nymphadora) might also have something to do with wanting to reject the Pureblood side of her family tree. There’s something else, too. Both Bellatrix and Andromeda are part of the Black family.

I haven’t yet spoken to her about the Mark of Despair, or the Curse that the Black family placed on the Fawleys so many years ago. To be fair, I don’t even know for a fact that it was them. Dad said it was, and I trust his word, but he could have been misinformed. There’s no paper trail, just word of mouth for the last two centuries. But if was The Blacks…this may be our ticket, Jacob. Our way out. If we can make peace with the Blacks, befriend them…surely they, or at least, Tonks’ mum, will be all too willing to help us lift the curse? As far as I know, she doesn’t get along with her sister, and her other sister Narcissa is supposedly just as bigoted as Bellatrix.

But there’s an upside to all of this. Tonks grew up with a parent who had been taught the Dark Arts from the cradle. Almost reminds me of Merula and Ismelda. Her Mum and her aunts learned a lot about Dark Magic, and so she’s been a very effective tutor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. And boy do we bloody need it. Every single Professor we’ve had in that subject has been rubbish. But it was Andromeda who taught Tonks about the Patronus Charm. Tonks already knows it, if you can believe that. I know, she’s like, fifteen, and she knows an N.E.W.T. spell. I know I told you this before Jacob, but it bears repeating – my friends are cooler than your friends.

Which brings me to the topic at hand. Dementors…I can’t decide if they’re scarier than Lethifolds. But I think the most frightening part is that they’re both highly dark creatures, with striking similarities…and no one knows why. Seriously, it’s generally presumed by D.A.D.A. experts that the Lethifold is related to the Dementor, but that’s just an educated guess. No one knows if it’s true, or how they would be related. Especially since they occupy different parts of the world and usually never interact. Yeah, I’ve been going to the Library a lot in an attempt to reconnect with Rowan. It’s tough, because every now and then they’ll bring up Ben. But in the process, I’ve learned a lot about Lethifolds. They definitely aren’t native to Britain, so Badeea was most likely right.

Dementors, on the other hand, are employed by the Ministry. Mostly as the keepers of Azkaban, but occasionally they’ll work with Aurors or be used as personal guards. Which seems like the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life. For once, Dumbledore and I agree on something. Forget about morals, it’s just plain illogical. Why would you trust creatures like that to keep a bargain? I may just be biased, but it’s become very clear that Dementors only answer to the highest bidder. They’re amoral, and likely have no concept of loyalty. Which is something I know from personal experience.

R is testing me, Jacob. They’re sending Dementors to Hogwarts. I don’t know how they manage to get them on school grounds, but it’s never been clearer that R is aware of me, and no friend of mine. I wonder if they sent the Lethifold…well, at least I’ve got a friend who can teach me the Patronus Charm, right? Dumbledore saw this coming, and he’s already asked me to promise I won’t try to get involved. As if the Dementor didn’t attack me first. As if R didn’t make it clear they were intentionally involving me. Remember how I said I don’t trust Dumbledore? Really starting to dislike him as well. He makes it seem like he’s trying to do right by his students and protect them, but it comes off as so disingenuous. And his wonky, eccentric personality is just too saturated. It feels like an act. He asked me to promise I wouldn’t interfere, and I just said no.

“You’re refusing to make me this promise, Luca?”

I looked up from the floor and stared at him. His face, like always, was unreadable. Not like Sprout’s irritated stare, Snape’s open contempt, McGonagall’s stern exasperation, and Flitwick’s…well, Flitwick looked genuinely sad. Out of all of the teachers present, he’s the one I’m most certain cared about my well-being, so that broke my heart a little.

“I am, Professor. No offense, but I’ve made promises to teachers before. I once promised I would only duel Merula Snyde in self-defense. I kept that promise, and I got in trouble anyway.” I shot Flitwick a sincere look. “I’m not blaming you for that, Professor Flitwick. I’m just saying…it’s probably simpler if I don’t even bother with promises.” It was the first time I’ve ever really stood up to the Hogwarts staff. I wasn’t rude about it, or at least I tried not to be, but I did my best to let them know that I wasn’t always impressed with their decision making.

The other reason I made my intentions clear to them, despite knowing they would probably try to stop me, is that I was, and am, so sick of lying to people all the time. I try to be honest when and where I can. Besides, all I’m doing is learning the Patronus Charm. What’s so wrong with that? That doesn’t break any rules, at least not that I’m aware of. It’s literally just studying, and doing advanced course-work. I distinctly remember doing the same thing when I became an Animagus, and McGonagall was over the moon about it. So even if we get caught…what are they going to do?

That said, it’s not just me and Tonks. Merula’s involved too. Things with her are…well, they’ve been interesting. Ever since she eavesdropped on my asking Tulip to the Ball, I haven’t really known how to interact with her. But when she asserted herself and wanted to learn the Patronus Charm too, I couldn’t find it in my heart to have any problem with that. If R is sending dementors to Hogwarts, then as many of my friends as possible should be learning how to protect themselves. Did I…just call Merula my friend? I don’t know what to think anymore. Finding out that she fancies me has really caused me to lose any and all negative feelings I may have had toward Merula, and there weren’t that many to begin with. I’ve always cared about her. Well, at least since that Christmas, when she taught me the Snowflake Charm…

Casting the Patronus Charm is harder than I thought it would be. You have to think of happy memories. Despite the fact that Tonks and Chiara have both gone on record calling me the sunniest person in our group of mates, I think they must have forgotten that Penny exists. And that I’m a depressed coffee bean. That’s literally all I am these days, Jacob. Rowan used to make me feel so happy, and now they’re a source of anxiety. On the bright side, and this is quite a bright side, The Celestial Ball was absolutely wonderful. And ever since, well…I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but…whatever ambiguous state Tulip and Merula used to be in, during Second Year….I think Tulip and I are in that phase now. Again, nothing is certain, nothing has been officially said, but…her signals are clear, and I think I’m finally getting the hang of sending them back.

So as you can imagine, Tulip has been one of my go-to thoughts for the effort of conjuring a Patronus. It’s just been difficult. Every time I try, waves of doubt surrounding Rowan, waves of guilt for being targeted by R, and the entire unresolved mess of feelings that I have about you, start crashing through my head. Would I even be able to conjure a Patronus without flashing back to the Lethifold, or the Boggart? I’m having a worse time at this than even Merula, which is something she’s gloated about multiple times. Despite knowing what I know now, it seems like Merula’s only gotten more determined to best me at everything. Maybe she’s still jealous about the Celestial Ball. Though of whom, I’m not sure.

We’re out on the Training Grounds when it finally happens. When the Dementor returns. Gliding toward us like some sort of suspended nightmare…I thought winter nights were cold, but compared to now, it feels like summer ended. Tonks readies her wand, but Merula and I just stand there like prats. Merula is squinting, muttering something about her parents. Mitten is hissing, but the Dementor ignores her. It goes right for me. And Jacob, here’s the strangest part. I feel…nothing. Like, nothing. Tonks told me that Dementors force you to relieve your worst memories ever, and then feed on your anguish. I was semi-worried about having another mental break if one of these things tried to mess with my head. But whatever they’re supposed to do…this one isn’t doing it. No, that’s not right. Look at the state Merula’s in. The Dementor’s powers are working….just…not on me…

The dementor is getting closer and closer. If I didn’t know better, I would say that…it knows. It can tell that it’s not affecting me, and doesn’t know why. Tonks and Merula are both trying to conjure a Patronus, and failing. The Dementor is backing me into a corner. I squint, and with the power of my blue eye, I can suddenly see through it’s cloak. What I see behind it is…not something I’d like to recount. Suffice it to say, there’s no real _body_ under there. Just a kind of…mold. A green, slimy mold that’s covered in jagged mouths…I feel myself gagging.

No, I need to stop perceiving it. I’ll never produce a Patronus thinking about that. I raise the hazel wand. I try thinking about the day I got my letter. I was dancing around, listening to the Weird Sisters, I was so happy…no, it’s not good enough. I try thinking back to the day we had a play-fight with liquorish wands…you knew how much I hated that candy. I remember laughing as you held me down and tried to make me eat it…but every memory of you is plagued by your being gone…so I think back to the end of second year. To the Quidditch Friendly I had with Ravenclaw, to spending time at the Khanna farm…but there’s just too much trauma related, too much unease. I was worried about telling my team I was leaving. Spending time with Rowan has also been affected in hindsight. Come on, there must be some memory, some relationship, that hasn’t been tainted by my depression…

...

Her dress was blue. A kind of midnight blue, with her hair swept to one side, and a star shaped necklace. I had never seen her smiling so wide. At first I felt a little self conscious, because she looked so beautiful and I…well, I’m just me. A depressed coffee bean. But Tulip clearly didn’t think so, and that was all that mattered. My friend Andre Egwu helped me loads by designing robes for me, but I just had to pick the green dress robes, instead of the starry blue ones that would have matched Tulip’s dress. Well, at least I was wearing the pendant she gave me. But when I mentioned this to Tulip, she made it all better. Observed my robes and proclaimed them to be quite “earthy” which was even better, because that meant that I was the earth, and she was the skies. Jacob, she freaking said that, and I almost fainted on the spot.

So, I couldn’t dance, at all. But neither could she, so it was fine. We made complete fools of ourselves but I had never felt more joy in my life. She called us the two biggest trouble-makers at Hogwarts. Which to be fair, was erasure of Tonks and Peeves, but they can have third and fourth place. Sharing a title with Tulip is all I wanted. We “danced” or had some ludicrous imitation of dancing, for most of the night. It was well past eleven when we finally wandered out. Tulip wanted to leave so abruptly, that I’m vaguely suspicious she had pranked someone. Never found out for sure, though.

Either way, we walked down the corridors for a long time, not even caring about being seen by Mrs. Norris. When she finally did catch up with us, Mitten distracted her long enough for Tulip and I to duck down a staircase and hide in the Artefact Room, which has since thawed out. Normally, I get pretty claustrophobic in that room. But the Celestial Ball had me in such a good mood, I barely noticed the feeling. Tulip and I were laughing about having escaped Filch, and she refused to give a straight answer about if she had set up some sort of prank at the Ball, causing us to laugh again.

Then Tulip kissed me.

...

Yeah, this memory is definitely happy enough. I can feel the joy in my body translating through the hazel wand. Silver energy is pouring out. “Expecto…_Expecto Patronum!_” An unformed shape has appeared, and is advancing on the dementor now. Which is retreating as though the light burns it to the core. Initially, I’m relieved, and my relief turns to amusement when my Patronus takes full shape.

“Mroooww!!” Mitten dashes over to the silver cat, giving the same tells of delight that she gives when Bitten is around. That’s when it hits me – my Patronus is her. No wonder she’s happy.

Unfortunately, our victory doesn’t last long. The Dementor we were fighting didn’t come alone. I still don’t sense anything, other than the crippling cold, but Merula has fallen to her knees, whimpering. Tonks has managed to produce a rabbit Patronus, but we need as much firepower as we can get. I find myself crouching beside Merula.

“Come on Merula, you can do it…”]

“No, I can’t” She gasps, her eyes squeezed shut. She isn’t engaging with me at all. “Only the pure of heart can make one.”

I don’t believe that. I never did. It sounds like a daft rumor. You know why, Jacob? No one is pure of heart. No one in this world. Some people are better than others, sure. Some people are pretty evil. Some people have really great hearts, like Penny and Tonks and Charlie. Others are mixed bags, like Diego and Rakepick...and you. But anyone can be good if they choose to be. Merula sure can.

“If that’s true Merula, then why did it work for me?” I know what you’re going to say, Jacob. Or…well, actually, I don’t. But I know what Mum would say. That I am pure of heart. That I’m a perfect sweetheart. But I’m not. I lie to people, I challenge authority figures. I break rules, I put people in danger. I suspect my best friend of working against me. I can’t remember the one thing you wanted me to know. And as I sit with Merula, putting an arm around her for support, and wanting nothing more than for her to be okay…it occurs to me that I might just fancy two people.

“Don’t be daft, Fawley.” Merula snaps back, but doesn’t move away. “You’re…you’re…I’m not…”

“You’re not them.” I murmur back to her. Very aware that there are at least four Dementors around us right now, even if my Patronus and Tonks’ rabbit are delaying their approach. “You are _not_ them.”

“They all hate me. Everybody hates me…”

“I don’t. I don’t hate you. Neither does Tulip. Come on Merula, you’re the best witch in Hogwarts. You can do it.”

And by Merlin, she does.

It isn’t a fully formed Patronus or anything, just silver energy. But it's one hell of a step. Merula gets to her feet, raises her wand, and conjures it. Tonks and I cheer her on, but the battle still isn’t over. I don’t know why I can’t sense these creatures the way my friends can, but with half a dozen of them, we’re surrounded. My Patronus has been overpowered, it’s disappeared. I’ll have to make another one. I raise my wand-

A blast of light appears to our left. The Dementors wither and scatter like they’re being blown away in the wind. A four-legged creature with a large tail is dashing along the wall, then flying through the air. It systematically charges each Dementor, until they’re all far away, all in the distance. Then, they’re gone. Tonks and Merula are looking around, bewildered. I’m bewildered too. For once, I didn’t have a mental break. For once, I didn’t burst into tears. Tonks stares at the new Patronus. “Bloody hell, who conjured _that_?” But while they’re looking forward with curiosity, my face is calm. I move forward, approaching the Patronus that saved us, and addressing it.

“Hello again.”

The Silver Raccoon tilts its head coyly at me, before vanishing into thin air.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's back, boys! The Raccoon makes a return! 
> 
> Tulip/MC is well on it's way to being canon...but with the First Date TLSQ still in the future, who knows what could happen? 
> 
> And just why wasn't Luca affected by the Dementors? Stay tuned, stay tuned, and you'll see :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	19. When Three isn't a Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca, Tulip and Merula must finally confront their unresolved feelings for one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober, Day Nineteen! I've been dawdling a bit, changing different things. Today's Prompt is "MC's First Date." I'm actually quite nervous about this entry, for reasons that will become apparent by the end.

** _February 21st, 1988_ **

Dear Jacob,

  
  
Tulip likes stargazing. Let that sink in for a second. This walking storm of a human being who spends half her time at Zonkos, makes it her mission to frustrate Snape, and recently tried to duel the Whomping Willow...likes to lay back and watch the night sky. Color me surprised. She was surprised too, when I admitted that it wasn't something I was that interested in, at least at first. Like most things, stargazing became much more appealing when Tulip's presence was factored in. But even if I seem like the type to fancy stargazing, and I honestly thought I'd like it...it always seemed so boring. Boring enough to fall asleep, if it wasn't so cold.

  
  
I didn't want to disappoint my favorite Ravenclaw, but she appreciated the honesty. And, in full honesty, I enjoy it a lot more when I'm with Tulip, Merula, or both of them. A few nights ago, Tulip and I talked about all this when we watched the stars in the courtyard. Then we held hands, and for the first time in my entire life...I held hands with someone without my gloves. Before that night, I would only ever take them off in the Creature Reserve, to better connect with the animals. Tulip and I have locked hands several times now, but this was the first time, literally ever, that someone held my bare hand. Tulip knew about the birthmark by this point and made it abundantly clear that she didn't care. In a way, it was even more special than the first kiss. Though by this point, snogging has also become more common, since we're an official couple now.

  
  
Oh yeah, that happened. Jacob, I have so much to fill you in on. But as of now, our partnership has been verbalized in ways that Tulip never had with Merula. Namely, the "G" word, as Ben put it. Tulip referred to herself as my girlfriend for about a week, before it occured to us that "boyfriend" wouldn't really work. So now we switched over to using the term "_partner_." Which suits us more in my opinion, I swear the Celestial Ball caused some kind of chain reaction that caused my life to turn on its head. So many things have changed since then, between Tulip, Merula and I. Of course, when I told Bill and Charlie how everything has been going, Charlie was the one to give me a reality check. Remind me that there's more to life than romance. Like dragons. Or Cursed Vaults.

  
  
Charlie has it so easy. Actually, I take that back. He has his own struggles. But I can't help feeling envious of him from time to time. Unlike Rowan or me, he's totally comfortable identifying as a boy. Though I suppose that would means he can't visit his female friends in their dormitory like I can. Which isn't extremely common, but it happens now and them. Actually...who are the Gryffindor girls in our year? I've never heard Charlie mention any female friends in his House, and I feel as though I've never seen any of them before. Charlie, Ben, your old friend Jae Kim...all boys. It's a little bizarre now that I think about it.

  
  
But I'm getting distracted. What's more important is Charlie's attraction to people, and by that I mean, his lack of it. Like me, he's asexual. But unlike me, he's aromantic. Charlie just doesn't get crushes, period. Which can be awkward when both McNully and Andre have crushes on him that could give Penny a run for her money - though she's not nearly as flustered as she used to be. Charlie has to ignore a lit of attention, and I don't envy that. But despite the blissful state I'm currently in, my tendency to experience romantic feelings for people has come with it's own issues. I wouldn't trade how I feel for the world, but still. It's complicated.

  
  
You already know where this is going. Let's talk about Merula.

  
  
So...there's the slightest chance that I may be catching feelings for her. It's mad, it's senseless, and I can't reconcile it with any sort of logic or reason. It feels as though I'm betraying Tulip, even though I'm not. Worst of all...Diego was, to a degree, right about us. That's just painful on so many levels.

  
  
As immature as this may sound, I blame Merula. It's definitely her fault for being so vulnerable and cute. She can turn into a cat that is the spitting image of Mitten. How am I supposed to feel about that? It doesn't make her bullying Ben okay, it doesn't make her trying to kill me okay. Yet I understand her now, and the depth of her pain. The potential for her to return to the light. I've always cared about her, and wanted to rescue her if I could. Maybe that isn't the healthiest tendency in the world, but it's who I am. Jacob, I'll never forget the look on her face when she confronted me in the hall.

  
  
It was after Snape had read my note aloud to the entire Potions class. If you couldn’t have already guessed this, he’s one of those Professors. Read a private note to everyone. I really didn’t want Merula to hear what it said. Tulip isn’t even in our Potions class. I was passing it to Rowan, actually, to see what they thought about potentially slipping it to Tulip later. Never made it that far, though…after several days of shenanigans, after having lunch with Penny in the Artefact Room and Talbott in the courtyard, after a couple of different conversations with Merula about it, where she tried to convince me not to ask anyone out...I did. I asked Tulip, and she said yes. But rumors spread like spattergroit in this school, so it wasn’t long before Merula knew.

She was waiting for me in the corridor, and looked about ready to pull her wand. Mitten and Bitten went off together like they always do, leaving me stranded with an angry Slytherin witch. “Did you think you could avoid me forever?” She snapped.

I had a feeling I knew what this was about. But what surprised me was how much Merula seemed to know…about what I knew. The way she spoke suggested that she knew her crush on me wasn’t a secret. “You’re unbelievable, Fawley. Here I am making my best effort to send you signals, and you get all dressed up like a fool for my ex?”

Well, apart from feeling like a deer in the sunlight, I just felt silly. Andre helped me pick out the outfit, it had suspenders and a bow-tie. Those are cool, right? Well, as I would soon learn, Tulip didn’t dress up herself, so it was definitely silly. Still, Merula’s words made me blink twice. “I…you’ve been sending me signals?”

“Have been for the past year or so, not that you could bother to notice…bloody hell, why do you think I tried to talk you out pursuing your crush?” That one cut deep. She must have known, or feared, that I fancied Tulip. By the time I asked her, everyone already kinda knew. Even the people I wasn’t as close to remembered us being together at the Celestial Ball. But facing down the girl who had always been my self-appointed arch nemesis…I couldn’t really think of what to say.

“Merula, I…” It wasn’t as simple as trying to let her down easy, without getting hexed. Because if I was honest with myself, I knew what I was feeling…what I never asked to feel. What I wasn’t supposed to feel, but I did. “Merula, I’m sorry. I really didn’t know before.” A slight lie, as I’ve known since Barnaby inadvertently told me, but it was mostly a truthful statement. Then the real truth came tumbling out, before I could stop it. “I wish I knew what to do. Cause I fancy you too. I guess we’re able to fancy more than one person at a time.”

“R-really?” Her violet eyes glinted in surprise. “Well, well I don’t fancy anyone else, so stop it!” But I didn’t believe it when she said it. I had the strongest feeling that Merula was upset about Tulip and me for multiple reasons. I stared at her.

“No one else, really?”

Merula flushed, and pushed her way past me, heading down the corridor. Well, this was definitely something I had to share with Tulip. We had only briefly touched on this topic before, after Barnaby mentioned that Merula wanted to “crush” me. Tulip said that she wasn’t bothered by it…but would she be bothered if she knew that I want to “crush” Merula as well? It’s not like I chose to feel this way. Jacob, I take it back, Charlie has it way easier than me.

I’m such a coward that I didn’t initially bring it up to her, during the date at Madam Puddifoot’s or even afterward, while we were stargazing. I didn’t want to kill the mood. But I knew I had to tell her the truth. Only feeling slightly comforted by my suspicions that Tulip possibly shared my struggle, I waited until the following morning. The long story short is that we stayed out all night, watching the stars, and basically fell asleep cuddling. Should have been cold, but it wasn’t. It was just nice.

Thankfully, a certain Mitten showed up to serve as an alarm clock before anyone else came out into the courtyard. We made our way back inside, and since it was a Monday, we had class to think about. Tulip was the once to suggest we skive off, and while I’m not proud of this, I agreed with her. Don’t you dare judge me, Jacob. You were getting in trouble for skiving by the end of your first year. I’m in fourth, and I took extra Charms classes. I earned this.

Knowing that I’d have to provide an explanation to Rowan and the others, I wrote a brief note, explaining that I was fine, and definitely not missing or anything. Stuck it onto Mitten’s back, and asked her to bring it to Penny, Tonks, whoever she saw first. Maybe it would have been easier to go find Cinder, but Mitten was happy to take the message. Then I brought Tulip into the Hufflepuff Common Room. Totally not allowed to do that, but hey, I’ve technically been in Slytherin’s before.

The Common Room was empty, and it was here that I confessed my misgivings to Tulip, sitting together on the couch. Tulip was a little surprised, but not angry at all.

“I wondered about that for a while. Back when Merula and I were…y’know, it always seemed like she was just as fixated on you as she was me.”

“Diego Caplan saw it years ago.” I think I threw up in my mouth a little, admitting that he was right. “I swear, Tulip, you don’t have to worry about me, I don’t know, trying to flirt with her or anything. I still don’t even try to spend time with her, I-“ She put a finger to my lips.

“Luca, it’s alright.” That’s when it hit me – she was only using my first name. She didn’t address me as Luca Fawley. “I don’t feel threatened if you fancy Merula. She’s definitely made a serious effort to get you to notice her. Anyway…if I’m not angry…will you promise not to be angry if I tell you that sometimes, I still think about her too?”

Well, I’ve got to be honest Jacob, I sort of suspected it all along, and it never bothered me. Letting go of people isn’t that easy, I know that firsthand. I never even knew Gail, and I still consider her my twin. Despite having no idea what she would be like. Tulip and Merula were as close as anyone, for two years. Of course those feelings don’t just go away.

“Well I’d be a hypocrite if I said I minded.” I chuckled, still a bit sheepish. I suppose this means Tulip could resent that Merula fancies me now, but on the other hand…I’m still not convinced that Merula is entirely over her, either. “So…what do we do now?”

Tulip paused for a long time, staring at the plants on the wall. I’d better keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t charm any of them when I’m not looking. “You fancy her, and so do I…ten galleons says she fancies us both…I’ve got an idea, but you may not like it. I dunno. Most people aren’t into it.”

Her idea winds up being what she calls “polyamory.” Remember how Diego thought I was dating four different people at once? It’s kind of like that. Tulip reckons that if we could get Merula on board, the three of us could all be dating each other. I really don’t know how to feel about it. I suppose different people have different opinions on this sort of thing. Diego and Tulip are clearly not opposed, but I know that Chiara very much wants one partner, and one partner only. This is a discussion for another time, but lately Tonks and I have come to suspect she’s going out with Jae Kim. Which I can’t say I’m thrilled about, but if he makes her happy, who am I to judge?

In the end, she reassures me not to worry, since even if we both agree to it, what are the odds that Merula would? Not very likely…she doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who wants to share. Anything or anyone. But if she had to choose…see, that’s the rub. Would she choose me? Or Tulip? And it’s not like Tulip wants to choose. I mean, she and I are together now. Why does this have to be so complicated…I wish I was Charlie.

Either way, we’ll have to talk to her about it soon. I can feel a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders. Now that I’ve been honest with Tulip, the guilt is starting to vanish. Diego was right. Merula and I are always sparring, and even if I dislike conflict as a rule. I also dislike chaos - which didn't stop me from falling for Tulip. It's almost funny. Tulip once told me that chaos tends to follow me, and she loves chaos. I very nearly made a fool of myself and told her that I loved her, but it's true. Chaos does follow me everywhere...just like Merula. Pursuing me, beloved by Tulip, believes in doing whatever the hell she wants...Merula is chaos. And Tulip is trouble. But that's why I love them, and that's why we're in a constant feedback loop, chasing each other like a cat, a mouse, and a dog.

At this point, I don’t know which is more complicated, romance or Cursed Vaults.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, we've got a three-way-relationship developing. This may cause some readers to jump ship, and I understand that. But polyamory is totally normal, and I realized this trio was going to be end-game a long time ago. 
> 
> Year Four has really been the year of romance, huh? Well, that's what happens when JC puts both dating TLSQs in it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. The Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While visiting the Creature Reserve, Luca receives another clue about their missing brother, and the missing day of their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober, here we go again! Today's prompt is "MC's pets" but the prompt specified that it could refer to the reserve, and Mitten is going to have plenty of screen-time in the days to come, so don't worry!

** _April 23rd, 1998_ **

Dear Jacob,

You want to know something about me, Jacob? I really hate Herbology. It's something Chiara and I differ on. As much as I pretend to like Gobstones for the sake of my friends, I barely understand how to play it. But you know what I really enjoy? Spending time with animals at the creature reserve. Sorry if it feels arbitrary, for me to tell you about myself. The basic rundown. But you've been gone for a very long time now, about four years. We have a lot of catching up to do. There's a lot to unpack. I'm not sure you know me like you may have in the past. Am I the same person, that I was at ten? I don't think so. In which case, have some Luca trivia. I like pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. Despite being an Animagus, I'm pretty rubbish at Transfiguration, but not as poor in it as I am Herbology. And I adore animals.

When Hagrid showed me the Creature Reserve, I never wanted to leave. Spent an entire afternoon wandering the hidden sanctuary beyond the Forbidden Forest. Played with Sickleworth, Barnaby Jr, and Merula Jr. She's a fairy. Something else you may not have known about me Jacob, is that my naming skills are fearsome. If Mum hadn't named Mitten, I probably would have called her Penny Jr. As it stands, I gave that name to the Abraxan.

There are more dangerous creature in the woods too. There's an Acromantula that I refuse to go anywhere near. It's not that I'm arachnaphobic, because I'm honestly not. I take spiders outside all the time, rescuing them from Mitten. But acromantulas are so dangerous and so...unpleasant. Plus I just don't think it likes me. Rakepick taught me a spell to combat spiders recently. Maybe he can sense it. In contrast, I freely approached the Hippogriffs, Grindylows and Thestrals. Well, I try to approach the Thestrals. Can't really see them. Neither can Charlie, Liz, or Barnaby. Merula and Penny can, though. They've both seen things they shouldn't have had to see.

There's Borf, too. A little werewolf puppy that likes to follow me around when I feed the porlocks and plimpies. I've taken to keeping journals that recount my experiences with the animals. But that's involved a lot of stopping and starting, usually because various critters find my notebooks and eat them. Merula, despite our recent awkwardness, has been pestering me to compete in this Duelling Club competition because a special, enchanted notebook is the proze for winning fifty duels. If I could win that, I wouldn't have to replace my journal every two weeks. But the requirements are ridiculous. Win fifty duels in a row? Even if I actually could, which I can't...no thanks.

This disappointed both Merula and Rakepick, who continue to monitor my life. Merula refused our offer, by the way. Tulip and I approached her, and she got very flustered and told us to sod off. Oh well, at least Tulip and I are going strong. At least I can still enjoy the creature sanctuary, wandering the woods.

  
  
_Thud._

A massive, green behemoth has crashed into the ground before me, unfurling his wings. The welsh green dragon gives a deafening roar. In my peripherak vision, Charlie has looked up from helping Hagrid with bowtruckles. He's staring at the dragon utterly transfixed. The dragon pays him no need, but simply roars again. Shall I lose my hearing from this? Or suffer damage to my ears? I don't know.

  
  
Hagrid is also watching the interaction, watching the dragon advance on me like he's a first year in honeydukes. I finally back myself into a tree as the Welsh Green seems to glare at me, leaning in even further. I can feel the heat wave of his breath and let me tell you Jacob, it doesn't smell great. At this point, I can feel the goosebumps rather strongly. I’m just reminding myself that this dragon…probably? Isn’t going to eat me? If I was in any real danger, Hagrid would come to my rescue, right? Though he tends to underestimate the level of danger certain creatures can bring to the table…

But this is the Creatures Reserve. None of the animals here are actually tame, but all of them have lived here long enough to adopt the very basic understanding that they mustn’t harm each other, or the humans. The record of students that have been critically injured here is…well, I was told that it was zero. Surely, students wouldn’t be so freely allowed to come here otherwise? Wait, what am I saying…Dumbledore runs this school.

I’m screwed.

“_Graaarrghhh…_” The Welsh Green growls deeply. Charlie and Hagrid seem rooted to the spot. But not more so than me…still trying to figure out if getting eaten alive would hurt more than getting cooked by dragon fire first. Why did this dragon single me out anyway? I was minding my own business. Well, if he’s going to kill me, he better get on with it. My back is up against the oak tree, and the Welsh Green flaps his wings again. Wringing my hands together, I decide that I may as well try to save my own skin.

I tug my glove off. Probably offending him by wearing it anyhow, since it’s dragon-hide. My hand is freed, and I stare at my tanned skin, at the black star between my forefinger and my thumb. Reaching out my arm slowly, I extend my fingers toward the Welsh Green’s muzzle. He could easily bite my hand off Jacob, but maybe if he eats it quickly enough, the curse won’t spread to my other hand. Small favors, am I right? “C’mon Welshie…” I mutter, biting my lip, unconsciously sticking my tongue out. “C’mon pal…” If he eats me, it might ruin dragons for Charlie. I can’t let that happen if it’s at all avoidable. Plus, you know, dying would suck too, I suppose.

Smooth scales, lightly dampened with slobber. Hot breath still searing my face, but more softly now. I can feel my fingers lightly graze the Welsh Green’s snout. Hagrid and Charlie are cheering in the background, but for the time being they go ignored. Sorry guys…but it doesn’t make sense. Sure, I’m pretty good with animals. But nobody is this good. If anyone could befriend a dragon this easily, it would be Charlie, not me. Yet The Welsh Green is now closing his eyes. Lightly pushing his muzzle against my palm, all without trying to bite. This is simply too easy, and I can’t relax yet. “What’s your story, Welshie? How come you came to me?” I murmur to him.

Then the dragon opens his eyes abruptly, looking right into mine. Did he…did he just hear me? Is it possible? Dragons can’t understand human speech, can they? Taming them would be far more streamlined if that were the case. I know there are some witches and wizards who can talk to snakes, but that’s supposed to be a Dark Art, and only the really shady purebloods can do it. Like, way shadier than Merula’s parents. We’re talking some deep shade. Besides, dragons aren’t snakes.

“_Grrraarghh…_”

I stare back into Welshie’s eyes, deep amber with slit-like pupils. He’s trying to tell me something. I don’t know how I know that, but Jacob, it’s something I’m beyond certain of. This dragon is trying to pass a message onto me. Charlie is calling out to me, but I can’t really make out what he’s saying, and neither of us break the eye contact. He’s inhaling deeply now, like he smells something in the air. It isn’t until I withdraw my hand and replace it inside the glove, that I realize it was the birthmark. Somehow, he could smell it. Is that what drew him to me?

“H-Hagrid?” I call out slowly. “Hagrid, where did you find this dragon?”

The Welsh Green is now clawing at the earth, looking around. It’s Charlie’s turn to approach him, but my scaly friend doesn’t seem nearly as inclined this time. Nevertheless, Charlie and Hagrid approach as Hagrid scratches his head slowly. “Tell yer the truth, I’m not sure. Some creatures are brought in, y’know, Others find this place. Others hatch ‘ere. This’un hatched here, though we never brought in any eggs o’ his breed…right mystery, he is.”

Jacob, nobody knows how to get into the Creature Reserve unless they attended Hogwarts, at the very least. It’s a well-kept secret, this place. Only students that Hagrid trusts enough to show them the path are allowed to enter. So far, it’s been me, Liz, Charlie, and Barnaby. That’s about it. Could somebody really have found the way here and snuck in? And to what end, leaving behind a dragon egg? I know they’re illegal to trade, Charlie has lamented it time and again, but…I just get this…strange feeling about it. A feeling that isn’t entirely formed, and I can’t explain it. All I know is that…is…is that…

It happens again. The glass cracks. For the first time in two years, I can feel my surroundings starting to vanish. This time, I recognize the symptoms before the mental break occurs. I’m able to grab at Hagrid and warn him. Earlier this year, Ben talked to me about something called “Skizzofrenia.” And it gave me quite a fright, because muggles apparently have names for all sorts of mind diseases, that wizards know nothing about. And I don’t know how else to explain what happens to me.

What I do know, is that I don’t want these attacks to stop, even if I should. I want to remember what happened to you. I want to remember…the Sanctuary? No, that’s impossible. I never came here before this year. I never visited. I can’t be remembering things that I never experienced. That’s not possible. Am I even remembering? Or are these hallucinations? A hooded figure…Jacob, I can see someone wearing a red cloak. Just like the person who attacked me earlier this year. Did I ever tell you about that? The person that I want so badly to believe isn’t Rowan. I watch the figure place something down beside a tree. Somebody else appears in the shadows, it’s well past nightfall. The red cloak pulls out a wand…a familiar wand…

“Luca! Luca, listen to me. No, shut up. Stop crying. Please! This is important. I can’t let anything happen to you.”

I’m being restrained to some kind of hospital bed, yet I’m still watching the red cloak duel the shadowed figure. But it’s your voice that pounds in my head, tearing through my mind without mercy. I’m screaming, yet I can’t speak. The red cloak suddenly conjures a large fire, and the other figure is illuminated by the light, as various bowtruckles scatter. It’s Madam Rakepick. She jabs her wand forward, but the red cloak blocks her attack with a shield charm.

“Luca, look at me. I don’t have much time left. I need you to understand something. I wouldn’t have risked coming home, not with everything that’s going on. BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW! YOU NEED TO-“

With a harsh snap, I’m awake in the hospital wing. Waves of despair wash over me and for a moment I thrash around in the bed. I’m not one for rage, but for a few seconds I just lose control. So angry with my body, for it’s betrayal. I know it sounds mad, but it was like my own body forced me awake before I could hear what you needed me to know. Maybe I really am mad. Well, that’s one reason among the myriad of others to start crying. Which I do silently, as I’m getting quite sick of hospital beds. Hagrid must have brought me here. But it’s dark now, and in the corner of my eye…

I nearly fall out of the bed as I scramble to my feet, searching frantically for my wand, and jerking it forward at the dark mass in the corner. “No! No! Stay away! Expecto…E-expecto-“ The dark shape, the black cloth, it’s moving Jacob. It’s there. It came back for me! “EXPECTO PATRONUM!” But I’m so stressed out, hardly able to zero in on a happy memory, that the hazel wand manages a few weak puffs of silver smoke, and that’s about all it does.

Madam Pomfrey bursts in, turning on the lights and demanding to know what’s going on. I’m just standing there stupidly, staring at the black blanket. Not even listening to her at first, I reach out with my wand, and prod it, before flinching back. But…it’s just an ordinary piece of black cloth. The movement was just a natural fall from chair to floor.

Jacob, what if I am skizzofrenic, or whatever it’s called? What if I’m mad? I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t know who I can trust, or what’s become of you. I don’t even know if I can trust myself.

\- Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Luca. How much longer can they go on, before this mystery destroys them? We are nearing the end of Year Four, after all. 
> 
> Will we ever see Welshie again? Possibly. Keep in mind, I'm sticking to the story of HPHM, but changes to canon may happen here and there. This is after all, an adaptation. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	21. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan confronts Luca, who must now face the problem they have been ignoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Fictober, y'all. We're ten days from the end! (Though not the end of Remembrance, we'll see where that goes.) 
> 
> Today's prompt is "The Acromantula." But this chapter mostly takes place in between the Ben reveal, and the actual Acromantula duel. He gets mentioned though, so it counts!

** _June 16th, 1988_ **

Dear Jacob,

Paranoia is a funny thing. After all of the mental trouble I’ve had, the Professors at Hogwarts are only doing their jobs by keeping me on a tighter leash. Doesn’t stop me from resenting it, and my trust in them is waning even further. I remember how it felt to trust people, and I miss that feeling. At this point, I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t anymore. I trust Tulip, but that’s a given. I trust Merula, somehow, but I also know that I shouldn’t. Really want to trust Rakepick, but she’s definitely involved somehow. Rowan and I have found notes from R, threatening her. So I don’t know who’s side she may be on, but she did save my life, and I can’t exactly overlook that.

Rakepick saved my life, Jacob. When Charlie and I devised a plan to escape the watchful eye of Sprout, Flitwick, and McGonagall, when we snuck out to the Courtyard after curfew…I saw them again. The Red Cloak. The one who paralyzed me and threatened me earlier this year…for the first time in my life, I was dueling with life or death at stake. The whole time, feeling a mounting sense of panic. This figure was student-sized. Despite the hidden face and the distorted voice, they were simply too short to be a teacher, and still taller than Flitwick. But Rowan was right next to me…

I lost the duel, and probably would have lost my life, but that’s when Rakepick intervened. She saved my life.That, by itself, isn’t what’s destroying me. It’s who she saved me from. No, it wasn’t Rowan.

It was Ben.

I think the shock alone, triggered, not another mental break, but some alternate type of disconnection. Beside me, all I could hear were Rowan’s sneers about how right they were. Rakepick had to ask me three times before I heard her question, about where we should take Ben. Rowan was muttering something about Filch’s office. Charlie suggested taking him to Dumbledore. But I looked into Ben’s terrified dark eyes, as he kept stammering that he didn’t know where he was.

“Take him to the Hospital Wing.” I finally said, which earned me a heated, piercing stare from Rowan. But my mounting sense of panic had not yet crashed. The dam wasn’t broken. Whatever suspicions or fears I might have had never peaked…because I never suspected Ben. And Jacob…I still don’t. In some ways, that’s the scariest part. It just seems way too easy. Like it was exactly as someone planned it to be. I don’t know if Rakepick was involved, but she showed up at precisely the right moment. Though I suppose she’s made it no secret that she’s spying on me. And Rowan immediately jumped down his throat. The more they spoke, the more anxious I got. Not about Ben, I believed him. About Rowan.

It might sound stupid, but I’m getting more and more scared of them. Ben being unmasked just…doesn’t feel right. In my gut, I just know that Ben is innocent. Which means that someone framed him, and I’m getting further convinced that Rowan is behind it. That Rowan is R. The thought continues to tear me up inside. Don’t even know why I’m telling you. It’s not like you’ll be able to help me. It’s not as though you would even if you could. Sorry, that was cruel. Honest, but cruel. Whatever, I have other people I can confide in. I tried to tell everyone I was fine, but somehow it was Hagrid that I finally broke down to about Ben. Later on, I was able to tell Penny and Tulip what was truly bothering me – my continuous doubts about Rowan. I wanted to trust Rakepick, I really did, even if Tulip had doubts of her own. But Rowan…?

We haven’t had a sincere, deep conversation where we opened up to each other, in…it has to be months? We used to have those all the time. I don’t even feel comfortable sleeping beside them anymore, as awful as it sounds, as much as it cuts me deep to actually say it. On the nights that it would be Rowan’s turn in the cycle, I would make excuses. Intentionally plan sleepovers with Tulip so that they “happened” to fall on the same night as Rowan’s turn…oh yeah, sometimes I visit Ravenclaw Tower and sleep over in Tulip’s Dormitory. It’s no different than when I do it in the Hufflepuff Basement, minus the extra cuddling, and Badeea and the others just shrug it off. Apparently they got used to it after Merula. But Rowan isn’t used to it. They still don’t like that I’m dating Tulip, insisting that she’s too much for me. Which she isn’t…okay maybe she is, but I like that about her far more than I should. It’s not that Rowan is jealous romantically…but I think they miss having me all to themself. I’ve been pulling away, and Rowan’s noticed it. Resourceful and clever enough to build their own wand…vindictive of anyone I spent time with that wasn’t them. Rowan is…or was, my best mate, once upon a time. Right now, I don’t know what we are.

We rescheduled our attempt to break open the Forest Vault, and this time, when everyone regrouped…I invited Penny to come with us to open the Vault. But I didn’t tell Rowan about the plan. It’s true, Jacob. I excluded them, intentionally. Because I don’t know if they’re just missing me and getting possessive, or if there’s something bigger going on and they have less than ideal plans for me. I just don’t know. I visited the Creature Reserve again, but Welshie the Dragon had gone. He just took off after my breakdown. Or…so I think. Jacob, according to Hagrid and Charlie, they can’t even remember a Welsh Green dragon ever being in the Sanctuary. They recall my breakdown, but they don’t recall me befriending a huge dragon. Which can only mean that I hallucinated that whole encounter…the “Lethifold” I tried to attack in the Hospital Wing, turned out to be my own cloak. I still don’t know why Dementors don’t affect me. But I’m probably just mad. If there’s anything more to the story, I bet R knows…which could mean that Rowan knows too.

Listen to me, Jacob. I never thought that attending Hogwarts would put me under such stress, but despite how sick I feel saying it, I can’t wait for this year to be over. I just want to go home, see Mum, Grandpa and Grandma. Sit by the seaside and cuddle Mitten. Just stop thinking about The Cursed Vaults or Raccoon Patronuses, or why I can’t make sense of my friends. Hoping against hope that next year, things will be easier, that I won’t feel as much anxiety around the people that I’m supposed to trust. But this year isn’t over yet.

Rowan catches up with me in the Common Room, before I can make my way down to the Great Hall and find Charlie. We had planned to meet up with Penny by Dusk. I didn’t think I’d have any trouble avoiding Rowan. I don’t know if I mentioned this, but they’re on the Quidditch team now too. Playing Seeker, alongside Penny and Skye as Chasers. So when I hear Rowan call out to me, I freeze in place without turning around.

“Luca, where are you going?”

I still don’t turn around. “Don’t you have Quidditch practice?”

“Not tonight.” Rowan’s voice is oddly cold and crisp. “Just Chaser and Keeper work. No need for me to be around. Not that it’s a new feeling…”

The silence is almost unbearable. “Well, I have to get going, I’m going to-“

“Open the Forest Vault?” The ice in their tone is unmistakable now.

Finally, I turn around to see them staring at me. This is a conversation that’s been a long time coming, and Merlin do I not want to have it. Certainly not right now. Whenever Penny pushes me into actually talking to Rowan, it usually goes well. We had a very heartfelt conversation about the Prefect’s Badge, and I still cherish that memory. Long story short, Sprout gave me the chance to prove I was Prefect material…there’s a lot to unpack there, Jacob, but Rowan and I ended the incident on better terms.

But now, Rowan is in pain and I can practically feel it even from six feet away. “Rowan, it’s dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt, okay?” I know why they’re really upset, so I jump past the phase of pretending to ask what’s bothering them. I move right into lies that aren’t lies but are being used to deceive. I don’t want Rowan hurt, and this will be dangerous…but that isn’t why I tried to do this behind their back.

“Didn’t stop you from wanting me along two years ago, even after I almost died…you didn’t bring me last time, either. What did I do wrong, Luca? Are you sick of me?”

That isn’t fair. I brought Tonks because I thought she and Tulip would make the best team. The year before, I brought Ben instead of Rowan…but it didn’t seem like they wanted to go. It suddenly occurs to me that Rowan hasn’t ever been to open a Vault with me. They haven’t participated in a proper investigation since first year, and we didn’t make it that far. But there are more important issues than answering for each and every time Rowan wasn’t by my side – most of them are my fault, and I’d rather address the real problem here.

“I’m not sick of you Rowan, please don’t say that.” My voice is weak, already close to breaking. How can I have so little emotional strength left to me? It’s not like I have any physical strength. My understanding of emotions and people is what I’ve relied on in the past. “You mean a lot to me and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“So, what, Penny’s more expendable than me?” Rowan sneers back, and as much as they blew a hole in my excuse, I can’t help but step back as though they had hit me. That was a horrible thing to say. I told you Jacob, Rowan can be vindictive.

My eyes close slowly as I find the answer. “This is another reason. You take everything so personally. I don’t care if Ben…if you were right about Ben. You had nothing to go on, Rowan. You were just guessing. Ben being the Red Cloak doesn’t mean your suspicion was justified.”

“You’re still defending him? Luca, he’s a liar! He tried to kill you! And you’re blaming me for warning you? You’re blaming me for being right? How many times did he know things we didn’t, how many times did his story not add up? I guess you missed it, but I didn’t.” Of course. Rowan’s right about that – Ben is definitely hiding something. I just wish I knew what. I suppose this is why Rowan would have been better in Ravenclaw.

I bite my lip. “I’m not defending anyone but myself, Rowan. Because right now I feel attacked, when I’m already under a lot of stress.” Everything is torn down the middle. Rowan’s feelings are entirely justifiable, but only because I’m a terrible friend. Not because they have any reason to know what I’m thinking – unless I’m right. Just like with Ben, they’re grasping at straws. You know I tried to give them the Prefect Badge? After Sprout told me I had earned it, I told Rowan and Sprout that Rowan deserved it more than I did, because they do.

Unless they’re secretly R, of course, but I digress.

Another symptom of my paranoia, and growing mistrust of the people around me, I guess. But I didn’t trust the Prefect’s Badge at all. Remember when the staff made me earn my Hogsmeade privileges, something no student has ever had to do before? Well, I’ve never heard of them hosting Prefect “tryouts” either. The Head of House and Headmaster just handpick two students from the fifth years. Students aren’t chosen before fifth year, and they sure aren’t notified. Once again, the staff were applying different rules to me, and I didn’t trust it for a moment.

It wasn’t like I ever particularly wanted to be Prefect anyway. I like working with younger, less experienced students, but if I wanted to meet that fix I could have just gone back and asked Flitwick about resuming my tutoring position. He made it clear that it was always open. No, I was always rooting for Rowan to make Prefect and Head Boy just like they always wanted. It was their dream. Besides, with how many rules I’ve broken now, why would I even be eligible? Even Diego would be a better choice than me.

I’ll tell you why. Dumbledore wants to keep an eye on me. The staff want an excuse to monitor me more closely. At least Rakepick straight up admitted that she’s spying on me. In a weird way, I respect her more than Dumbledore and Sprout because unlike them, she doesn’t use adulthood as a blanket to pretend she’s any better than people like us. Dumbledore treats his adulthood as proof of his superiority. Rakepick treats it as an advantage that lets her do what she wants. Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, they do whatever they want to – they just always insist it’s for the best. Rakepick doesn’t bother with that, she’s unpretentious. She’s a liar too, but that’s something else she’s never hidden.

Sprout and Dumbledore aren’t like that, and I approached Rowan immediately after I was given the badge. I tried to give it to them, Jacob. I truthfully didn’t want it. I know what you’re thinking – what student doesn’t want the badge? More power, more privilege, and the chance to bathe like Bill Weasley. Here’s the thing though – with Dumbledore keeping watch on me, I wouldn’t really have any of those things, except maybe the third one. It would be a façade. Rowan, who built their own wand, miss out on the position they earned, for Dumbledore’s agenda? Screw that.

Of course, Rowan was quick to point out, amid blushing, that the Prefect Badge wasn’t exactly something that I could just give away, but I didn’t care. It was the closest I had felt to them in months. I was angry on their behalf. Despite everything, I still am. But like always it seems, Professor Flitwick had a way to make things…well, I don’t want to say better, but he did make it better.

I was in the middle of telling Rowan exactly what I thought of the Hogwarts Staff and just why they were doing this, when Rowan, with a strangled, terrified expression, hissed at me to be quiet. Which could only mean that someone, a teacher no doubt, was behind me, overhearing my roast…in some ways, I found myself wishing that it was Snape, or Sprout. Sure, I’d have lost house points, but I wouldn’t have disappointed Flitwick again.

However, he simply folded his tiny arms. “Fawley, has it occurred to you that you’re getting a Prefect badge because you earned it, not because of some greater conspiracy?”

I stared back at him. Whatever I may have thought about the staff, I never really considered him to be a part of it. “I don’t want to be rude, Professor, but give me a break. My Head of House doesn’t like me. She never has. Rowan is ten times the student I could ever be. As for Dumbledore, well…there’s always something bigger going on with him. Why should I believe this is genuine?”

“Among other reasons, you should be aware that I was the one who nominated you.”

“…What?”

“You think Pomona dislikes you, but that doesn’t strike me as true at all. She was truly conflicted about whom to appoint Prefect. Of course, Miss Haywood was obvious, but for the boys’ dorm, she was equally impressed by both Rowan Khanna’s academics, and Diego Caplan’s extra-curriculars. You weren’t originally in the running, with your history of rule-breaking. However, I know that everything you do has a bigger purpose. I can’t fault you for trying to find your family. And you’ve helped break two curses afflicting Hogwarts. That shouldn’t be overlooked. So I talked her into reconsidering.”

Rowan and I glanced at each other. “So…you’re saying…?”

Flitwick gave me a kind expression. “I’m saying, don’t be so quick to assume you don’t deserve a badge. I believe you do. And so does Pomona. Professor Dumbledore wasn’t even a part of the conversation. Of course, whether or not he _uses_ your appointment to keep a closer watch on you…well, that’s his prerogative. But you’ll wear that badge because you earned it. And Khanna, don’t be discouraged. Plenty of people made Head Boy and girl without having been Prefect. I recall another student, a very rebellious one, who did just that.”

With that, Flitwick waddled away. Okay Jacob, I lied. There’s at least one adult at Hogwarts that I trust completely, and I’m so glad he’s here. I just wish I still trusted Rowan that much. Standing here now, two feet from the door, yet feeling trapped and backed into a corner, I start to fear that our friendship may be ending. “Just let me do this, Rowan. I need to get this over with-“

“When were you going to tell me you had another breakdown?” Rowan suddenly shoots at me. “Bill and Charlie know, apparently. So does Tulip. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Charlie…Charlie was there when it happened. He must have told Bill.” More lying. I told him. More despicable lying to the face of the person who’s supposed to be my best friend. “It isn’t a big deal, okay? I’m working through-“

“You don’t trust me.”

And there it is. Rowan’s right on the money, and yet I don’t dare confirm the accusation. Here’s one place where I absolutely have to play dumb. Not only because I’m ashamed, but because I can’t afford to let Rowan know suspicious I am – just in case my suspicions are correct.

“How…how can you say that to me? Of course I trust you.”

“You never tell me anything anymore. You avoid me. Either you don’t trust me, or you’re just plan sick of me. You wouldn’t be the first person, Luca. So just say it.”

“Rowan, come on. You’re imagining things. None of that is true.”

Even as these words come out of my mouth, I can taste how insulting they are. I almost wish I could take them back. Because it’s a lie. But it’s one thing to lie about how I’m feeling. It’s another thing to do this. To look Rowan in the eye and tell them that what they’re feeling isn’t real. That what they’re perceiving is false, when I know that it's true. What kind of friend am I? What kind of person treats other people that way? If it were me, with my fragile mentality, I don’t think I’d appreciate it. But if Rowan is R…what choice do I have?

Not that it makes a difference, because then Rowan plays their final card.

“You talk in your sleep.” They hiss, before turning around and storming off to the Hufflepuff Boy’s Dormitory.

Oh Merlin’s bead. Jacob…I talk in my sleep? How come Penny and Tonks didn’t tell me? Did they not notice it? Did they never catch it? Is Rowan the first person? Maybe Rowan is the first person to pick up on anything important. Chiara also talks in her sleep, but it’s normally indiscernible nonsense. Stuff about plants, sandwiches, and occasionally a name “Selina..” But apart from that, nothing derivative. But what do I say? What the hell has Rowan heard?

I’m torn between feeling caught in my lie, and feeling panicked that my greatest enemy might have heard me confess my vulnerabilities and secrets. What a great mindset to have before I go fight a giant spider. Well, maybe he’ll kill me and this nightmare will be over. Wouldn’t that be nice.

\- Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, Luca and Rowan's friendship is...well, maybe not over, but it certainly hangs in the balance. I wonder if they'll ever reconcile, and be honest with each other...
> 
> ((PSA everyone, telling loved ones that what they know isn't actually true, when you know it is, can be a form of emotional abuse. Don't do it. Even if you think your friend is a secret evil villain. They probably aren't, so just talk to them.))
> 
> And that's it for year four! Tomorrow we move onto Year Five! Featuring extra helpings of Penny angst and Rakepick lessons!


	22. Painful Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Rakepick attempts to reel them in, Luca grapples with a revelation about their mental condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year Five sets sail! I think it's high time we got some answers, don't you? Today's Prompt is "MC and Rakepick." So let's give a little screen time to everyone's favorite Guardian Devil!

** _September 6th, 1988_ **

Dear Jacob,

_I knew it._ Ben is innocent. I knew it, Jacob. But I have confirmation now. I finally have proof. Well, I suppose it’s not definitive. The long story short is that, against Penny and Tonks’ advice, I met with Ben after hours, on the first week back to school. He wanted to see me, and I wanted to see him. We both wanted to clear the air. I still believed in him and told him so. Which was right about the point when the Red Cloak showed up again.

This time, it clearly wasn’t Ben. Whether or not it was Rowan is something I don’t think I’ll ever know. The figure was student-sized, like before…but I also get the sense that if Rowan is behind all this, they wouldn’t approach me so boldly. R isn’t just a puppet. I'm pretty sure R is the one holding the strings. To be fair though, the Red Cloaks never mentioned R, so it’s possible they aren’t connected. It’s possible there’s some kind of second faction roaming around. I don’t have information at this point.

But what I do know is that Ben is on our side. I always kept faith, and now I know for sure. In an act so redeeming that I don’t think anyone, except perhaps Rowan, could argue it’s importance, Ben literally pushed me out of the way of The Red Cloak’s curse and took the brunt of it. How could anyone have ever doubted him? The Red Cloak left not long after that, but not until they gave me a cryptic warning that they still needed me alive, and threatened to kill one of my friends. Well, I always just figured that was implied.

Even so, it awoke something in me. I’ve never been a combative or violent person. Or even very defiant. Mitten is not only my personal bodyguard, she’s my anger translator. There have been exceptions. When I heard your voice in Ice Vault, I attacked the Ice Knight (_still don’t know what the hell that thing was_) with a ferocity that shocked even Bill. Oh, it’s his last year, by the way. Rather depressed about that, but at least I’ll still have Charlie. Jacob, don’t feel jealous or anything, but Bill has kind of been filling your shoes. And by, “don’t feel jealous.” I mean exactly the opposite. Feel jealous. Because Mum may be doing better, but I’m not, and you’re missing out on the chance to be my big brother. It’s something I’ve always tried to be to my friends when they need it. So when the Red Cloak threatens them, that’s just it.

I’m not an angry or violent person. But teabags are tepid until you put them in boiling water. Then again, I’m a coffee bean. We’ve established this. Regardless, this threat changed something within me. Made me far less timid, at least in the following days. No one threatens the people I care about. Not Rowan, not R, not these weird cloaked people, not even Rakepick. She’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher now, and the other day in class, she tried to get me to hex Ismelda for “practice.” Now, listen. Ismelda and I have had our differences, I know. But I already settled the score with her on Barnaby’s behalf last year. From what I can see, she gets as good as she gives when it comes to bullying. One of my problems with Skye is that she tends to be at the forefront of people whispering behind Ismelda’s back. By the way, Skye and Penny are closer than ever, and Skye is Hufflepuff Captain now. Orion’s gone. But it was for these reasons that I looked Rakepick in the eye and refused to raise my wand.

I don’t think she expected that. I think Rakepick assumed my loyalty was won when she saved my life last Spring. (_Part of me wonders if that isn’t why she did it._) Which, to be fair, it basically was the point that I decided I trust her, and became loyal to her. But I’m loyal to Flitwick too, doesn’t mean I would pick on someone just because he told me too. Hufflepuffs have to be wary of letting loyalty cloud their judgment. Even I have to be wary of that. The fact is, Rakepick is giving special treatment to me, to Bill, and to Merula. We’re her chosen apprentices in Curse-Breaking. It stands to reason that she expected me to return that kind of special treatment. That she assumes we have a kind of understanding. Which I suppose…we do. I trust her. But I don’t always like her.

Rakepick gave me a detention for refusing to follow class instructions, but nobody in that classroom was fooled. Everyone knew it was a power play, and nothing more than a formality. As I sat back down, I knew she had no intention of providing real punishment, she just wanted to know why I disobeyed her. Well y’know what? I have no qualms about telling her why. So whatever happens, happens.

At half past seven that night, Penny and I are helping her sister Beatrice with homework, before I realize that I have to get up and leave or I’ll be late for my detention. And Rakepick is not above coming to find me. Rather reluctantly, I get up to depart the Hufflepuff Basement. Penny is as comforting as ever, and Beatrice is the tiniest sweetheart to ever exist. The family resemblance, both emotionally and physically, is very keen. She actually made me a stuffed Puffskein, Jacob. I want to adopt this girl. The Puffskein, which I have dubbed “Beatrice Jr” has now become Mitten’s favorite toy. Luckily, Penny saw this coming, and enchanted it before my cat could tear it to shreds. Now my little scamp can claw and bite as much as she wants, but Beatrice Jr won’t suffer so much as a tear.

As I exit the Hufflepuff Basement, the timing is unfortunate, because Rowan enters just as I’m leaving. There’s an excruciating pause where they avoid my eye, perhaps waiting for me to say something or hoping that I will. I don’t, and they make a beeline for the dormitories. Penny and I exchange a pained glance that Bea doesn’t see. Jacob, it’s been bloody awful. Rowan and I didn’t write over the summer at all.

I don’t even sleep in the Boy’s Dormitory anymore, because Rowan is there, not to mention Diego. I spend half my nights in Tulip’s Dorm, and the other half crashing with Penny, Tonks, or occasionally Skye. Yeah, she pretty much joined the cycle. I mean she and Penny crash together sometimes too, when it's Tonks' turn. By this point, they're in that "in-between" stage that I've seen before. Got confirmation, by the way – Chiara and Jae are “sort of” a thing, and that’s the reason Chiara felt it was appropriate to leave the sleeping circle. More in-betweening. I suppose I’ll have to talk to Jae sooner or later. Regardless, the professors don’t seem to have caught on, and none of the students involved mind the arrangement. Tulip knows I only fancy her and Merula. But there’s still an intense tension surrounding the whole thing. Not because I sleep in Girl's Dormitories, because everyone knows about the non-binary thing. No, it's tense because someone is clearly missing. While only Tulip and Penny know the real reason, everyone can tell that Rowan and I have fallen out.

Either out of politeness, or not wanting to get involved, no one has approached me about it. Tulip and Penny know of my suspicions, but they’re the only two that do. Tulip respects how much this feeling hurts me, and she has personal experience with betrayal among friendships. In a way, I’ve betrayed Rowan myself, even if that’s what I suspect them of. But Tulip still thinks Rakepick is the more likely candidate, and Penny agrees with her. She doesn’t want to believe Rowan is secretly evil or anything. Which, yeah, neither do I…but what if it’s true?

My gloved hand raps the door, and I hear Rakepick’s voice. “Enter, Mr. Fawley.”

I open the door. Not sure what she’s going to do, but not afraid either. “Just Fawley is fine. Or Luca, if you like. Please don’t use Mr.” I don’t really know what prefix is appropriate for me. I just really don’t like “Mr.”

Rakepick eyes my curiously, sitting up on her desk, not even on a chair, but still clearly doing work, and grading a roll of parchment before she sets it down. “Is that a preference of identity, or do you loathe having to call me ‘Professor’ that much?”

I stare back at her. She hasn’t told me to sit, so I remain standing. “It’s a gender thing. But on second thought, I don’t really have any better ideas, so just do whatever you want.” I’m not being intentionally disrespectful, but on the other hand, Rakepick has never seemed to expect or demand the same type of respect that Sprout and Snape do. It’s a little more nuanced. Like I said, ever since the Red Cloak threatened my friends, I'm about all out of fucks to give. Wow, I don't usually swear that much. I really am changing. 

“A gender thing, hmm? Is that why you never sleep in a Boy’s Dormitory?”

Well, that’s certainly one way to get my attention. I don’t have the best poker face, and I think she can see the fear in my eyes. Not only am I afraid of being caught breaking the rules, not only am I afraid of how it will look, and subsequent punishment…but I don’t want to go back to sleeping alone, in the same room as Rowan. I really don’t want that, Jacob.

Rakepick rolls her eyes at my terrified reaction. “Relax, Fawley. That’s your concern. As long as you don’t get anyone pregnant, I don’t give a damn where you sleep.”

So much for my cool demeanor. “That’s…I’m not…that isn’t why-“ I’m stuttering like a moron, but Rakepick just steamrolls on.

“What I do care about is your mind.” Okay, what does that mean? Does she know about…about my breakdowns? Dumbledore might have told her. Then again, it's never been much of a secret. Rumors spread like spattergrout in this school, and surely everyone knows by now. Skye knew back in second year, and I had never spoken to her about it. “I need you to be focused on the goal at hand, and ready to do what needs to be done to solve it.”

“Okay…but just what goal are you referring to, Professor? I have a few.” Primarily, my goal is to find you. Graduating with passing marks, discovering whether or not Rowan is R, helping Merula with her problems…those are also on my checklist for the grand scheme of things.

“Everything comes back the Cursed Vaults. You know this. As I promised, I’ll be training my apprentices for this purpose. I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, and I know about the danger firsthand. Which not only makes me your teacher, it makes me your master.” I guess my snicker was a bit more obvious than I wanted it to be, because Rakepick’s eyes narrow. “I’m not joking, Fawley.”

“So Merula, Bill and I…we’re your slaves?” The derision in my tone is clear, but with what she just said, I think it was earned.

“Of course not. You’re my apprentices. No one is forcing you to stay, you’re free to quit anytime you like. But as I told you last year, if you want to continue investigating the Vaults, then you do it on my terms. Together, we’ll find Jacob. When your training is complete, you will rise from an apprentice Curse-Breaker to a Master. But until then, you answer to me, is that clear? I need to know, Fawley, that if I give you an order, in a life or death situation, you’ll follow it without question.”

In a life or death situation…? Sure, I can do that. Like I said, I trust her. Even if I probably shouldn’t. But this feels like a false dichotomy. “Fine. But hexing Ismelda wasn’t life or death. She’s grouchy and cruel, and actually pretty racist…but she wasn’t threatening my life. I don’t believe in singling people out to bully them. That’s what Snape does.”

Rakepick’s nostrils flare slightly. “My teaching methods might be unorthodox, but I’m willing to bet you’ll learn more in my class than you ever will from him.” A real touch of honesty in the conversation, and I don’t disagree with what she’s saying.

“Professor, why did you call me here? Why did you _really_ call me here?” I know it wasn’t just to reaffirm my obedience. She could have held me back after class for that, or simply sent me one of those letters to come to her office. She arranged an entire detention instead.

Rakepick gets to her feet. “Because it’s time you knew the truth. Madam Pomfrey has known for a while, but Albus Dumbledore deemed it best to wait and tell you when you were older.” You know what Jacob? That sounds exactly like the kind of thing he would do. Honestly, to hell with Dumbledore. I’m so sick of him.

Taking a deep breath, I stare back at Rakepick. “Okay…what truth is that?”

She folds her arms slowly, putting me under a gaze so scrutinizing that I feel like I’m under one of those microscopes. “What was it the Healers at St. Mungo’s told you? That your case was one they could never figure out? That they couldn’t explain what happened to you? They lied, Luca.”

I don’t move. Rakepick doesn’t either. She just keeps talking. “Pomfrey lied too. I’ll admit, it was well hidden, but it the after-effects became obvious after a few different examinations. The truth is, you didn’t have a spontaneous mental breakdown. The damage done to your mind is at least partially artificial. I’ve noticed similar symptoms in the boy who attacked you last year.”

Perhaps the reason that I can’t move is because my blood has frozen into ice. It could be that, Jacob. Rakepick is now staring at me so harshly, it’s like she’s trying to see right through me. “Someone put a memory charm on you, Luca Fawley. A very powerful memory charm. When they’re strong enough, they can damage a person’s mental state. But despite being magically powerful, whoever did this was imprecise, unsteady. They must not have known charm very well. I have reason to suspect that it may have been your brother, Jacob Fawley, who did this to you.”

Well, I’m able to move now, even involuntarily. Because I fall to my knees…and despite the fact that I really shouldn’t show this kind of weakness around someone like Rakepick, I’m already crying. Jacob…why does it feel like such an eternity ago, that I was able to give people the benefit of the doubt? Why can’t I believe what, three years ago, would have come to mind instantly - that you didn't do this? Why can't I even try to convince myself that Rakepick is wrong, or that she's lying? I want to believe in you, to stick up for you. But I just can’t. How is it...that I _know_ she’s right, and that you put me through everything I’ve been through?

Maybe it’s my Boggart. Though I tried to understand, explain it to myself, I still don’t really know why it would be you. Maybe it’s all the things I’ve learned about you in the last five years. Just how far you’re prepared to go, how many lines you’ll cross. Or maybe it’s that deep down, I already know. When Rakepick tells me, I feel that familiar certainty that I can’t explain. A truth that is real, and absolute, but trying to remember why it’s so certain hurt my head too much. Am I trying to remember things that an enchantment has forbidden me to recall? Why is that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that someone enchanted me that day? Someone I trusted more than anyone in the world?

How could you do this to me? Why? All this time I thought you wanted me to remember your final truth, but have I just been wrong? Rakepick is talking more, ignoring my pitiful state, speculating on your reasons. Suggesting that maybe you didn’t want me to tell anyone where you were going, or that I had seen you. Suggesting that your lack of experience with the Memory Charm may have been why it had such unforeseen side-effects. But I’m not listening. I’m not paying attention. I just sink into a nearby desk for the remainder of my supposed detention, not saying a word. At nine, Rakepick looks up from her desk to dismiss me, and I quietly depart.

Jacob…what the hell did you do to me? Why did you do this? What secret were you trying store in my head? What have you been up to? I’m tired of searching for you, when I can’t even be sure if I can trust you, or Rowan. I hate this. I just hate it. Let it end.

\- Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Two downer-endings in a row. Don't worry, the next couple of chapters will be more lighthearted, that's something I can promise. 
> 
> Jacob, how could you...? 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please, leave me your thoughts and critiques!


	23. A Comforting Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca reunites with a friend from their past, after years of estrangement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's Prompt is "Kitchen Detention" so it's time we met a certain boy in a hoodie. Someone Luca has been avoiding! I wonder how that will go...
> 
> Enjoy you guys!

September 23rd, 1988

Dear Jacob,

I debated writing this to you at all. Because I still feel betrayed. I want you to know that at least for today, you were my third choice. I attempted to compose a letter to Gail. Couldn't do it. Tried again with Dad. Couldn't do it. The whole thing turned into venting about you. So I decided to stick to tradition and tell you to your face that I don't approve of what you've done. In fairness, I can't exactly prove it was you. But I just know it somehow. Jacob, it was wrong. I don't know what your reasons were, but I don't really care. It was invasive, irresponsible, and damaging. Who knows if I'll ever fully recover? Even if I do, this is something that I will most likely hold against you for the rest of my life.

Knowing you, of course, you didn't think through the potential consequences. But you were seventeen when you left. You were an adult. You should have known better. I'm angry at you right now, but I'll get over it. There's too much going on for me to stay upset, and you're still my brother. It is your duty and your punishment to listen to me ramble about my life. Which has been mixed recently.

First, the good. And for once, the good actually revolves around Merula. She and I met with Tulip in the Three Broomsticks, and she made it very clear that she had changed her mind. She wanted Tulip back but also wanted me, so she wanted in on our relationship. At which point Bill, who was sitting nearby, started feeling awkward and mumbling about how he should leave. Bless his heart. He doesn't have the best track record with crushes himself. But Merula told him to stay. She wanted a witness to prove that she was better than everyone says, I guess.

So we all had butterbeer and talked about our pasts. I still haven't told either of them about the memory charm, but I suppose I'll have to sooner or later. For the most part, it was pleasant. We called each other out on certain things - but it wasn't really confrontational. Just that none of us are completely guiltless. Merula did try to kill me, after all. And Tulip betrayed her. But as she pointed out, she basically had no one left after Barnaby started hanging out with me, and that was mostly my doing. So I apologized, which seemed to throw Merula off. It made her blush. Oh boy, there are few things cuter than Merula pink-faced.

"So how does this work, then? You and me and Tulip...we're all equals? Cause I'm a late-comer and, no offense, but I'm far out of your league."

Tulip rolled her eyes. "We wanted you involved from the start, Merula. We still do. Your insecurity is lying to you.

"In-insecurity! Don't be daft! It's you that should be worried! I'm..." Tulip grabbed her hand and finished the sentence.

"The best witch at Hogwarts? We know." At that point, I chimed in, taking Merula's other hand.

"As far as we're concerned anyway. You're the best witch to us."

Merula was starting to look emotional. She hates vulnerability, and I assume that's why she changed the subject. "But you and me, didn't Rakepick call us a family, now? Doesn't that make it a bit strange?"

Tulip scoffed slightly. "That's...not the same thing. Just because Rakepick grouped you in a family, doesn't make it facts. She's just trying to win you over. Taking advantage of two people who come from broken homes."

Tulip has never hidden her distrust for Rakepick, but it's becoming clearer now that she dislikes her more than I thought. However, this declaration caused a bit of discourse. Merula's face darkened, and in a small voice I offered rebuttal. "I don't think it's that simple. She did save my life. I trust her."

Tulip and I were also holding hands by this point, and I felt her grip on my hand tighten. As soon as I said it, Bill, who had been determinedly pretending not to listen, shouted across the room from behind his copy of the Quibbler. "So do I!"

It seemed as though this disagreement was about to evolve into our first argument as a couple...er, trio? There are a lot of terms I'm no longer certain of. Still not sure if "themself" or "themselves" is more appropriate for the singular use of "they." But regardless, the argument never really got off the ground. We were interupted when Penny arrived, bringing a diversion in the form of the bad news.

The bad news as of late, is Bea. Penny was in full panic mode, because Bea had gone missing. Of course, Tulip, Merula and Bill all jumped into action. Skye helped too, when we ran into her. But it was Merula who found Bea. Just in the nick of time, too. Penny was brewing her own potions, trying to make one that would solve the problem. She tends to do that when she's stressed. The bad news doesn't end there though. Because Merula found Beatrice sealed inside a portrait.

The teachers were flummoxed. We still don't know how she got in there, only that it must have something to do with the next Cursed Vault. So Bill, Merula, and Rakepick have set to work on the investigation. Minus me, though. I've got detention. At the end of last year, Dumbledore gave me a full year of detention working in the kitchens. Filch was way too happy about it, and Dumbledore...honestly, I think he may be worse than Snape. At least I know where I stand with him.

Dumbledore on the other hand, is a two-faced, manipulative strategist who doesn't understand the role of Headmaster and can't even be bothered to be consistent in the ways he breaks the rules or abuses his power. Not that I wanted Penny or Charlie to be punished, but the fact that they weren't - but I got a year of detention, tells you everything you need to know about the man. Flitwick was right - my Prefect's Badge isn't a tool to keep watch on me. These detentions are how Dumbledore is going to do that. He has an agenda, whatever it is, and he puts that above his responsibility to his students. And I'm not impressed by it.

The scariest part though, is that I swear almost no one can see it. Everyone, even the adults, are just so blindly loyal to Dumbledore. A few of the Slytherins like Ismelda have been known to bad-mouth him, but it's usually because he's Pro-Muggle. Which is one of his most redeeming qualities. I'm all for critiquing a person for their politics, but in this case, I actually side with Dumbledore. Though, not being racist is something of a low bar to set. I have yet to hear anyone challenge Dumbledore on anything but his political views.

Regardless, it's time to face the music. Because as I show up to the kitchens and get berated by Pitts the House Elf, I can barely hear what he's saying. Because I've just seen a familiar yellow hoodie. Chiara sometimes comes back to the Hufflepuff basement wearing it. And right now, I can see that it belongs to my detention partner, Jae Kim. Merlin's beard...I know I said I wanted to make peace with him, for Chiara's sake, but spending my detentions with him? I did not consent to this level of awkward! Penny, Tonks, somebody help me.

Jae looks up from the sandwiches that he's putting together, and we lock eyes. Oh yeah, he's surprised to see me. I guess no one mentioned me by name when they told him he was getting a partner in his detention.

"Hello Jae." I exhale slowly, not breaking the eye contact. I've been working on my discomfort with meeting people's eyes. And by that, I mean Rakepick is pressuring me to get over it, but either way.

Jae stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "Luca. Hey. How...have you been?"

How have I been? For the last six years? Since you and Jae were inseparable, since he and I fought over all the messed up things you wanted to do? How have I been, since dedicating my life to rescuing you, and meeting people who have changed my life in the process?

"Had my ups and downs. You?"

Jae turns in place, to better face me. A small thing, but it's a quiet form of respect and I appreciate it. "Well, as you may have guessed, I put my business plans in motion. Sort of the reason I'm in here, actually. But if you ever need any extra-legal items, I can hook you up." He pauses. "Unless you still don't approve of that sort of thing, of course. But from what I hear, you've dabbled in the business yourself...?"

I close my eyes, smirking in spite of myself. So Jae's plan to start a black market at school wasn't just talk. If he and I had been on speaking terms for the past few years, he might have been quite helpful in my investigation of the Vaults. And now that I think about it, that's the true irony here. Because he's right, Jacob. He's right and he even has the decency to not be a jerk about it. I haven't exactly kept to my moral high-ground since I enrolled here. I'm wearing a Prefect's badge, but only because Flitwick is fond of me. I don't deserve it. I'm more or less the antithesis of a rule-abiding, model student.

"Well, not your particular type of business, but I've crossed a few lines along my path." The truth is, I'm no better than him. Maybe telling myself that I was helped me sleep at night. It's a lot easier to cope with a terminated friendship if you convince yourself that you're in the right, and it's all their fault.

Jae gives me a curious look. "Come on, magic eyes don't grow on trees. I'll make you a deal. Tell me where you got it, and I'll give you a free sample of my merchandise. You get to pick."

I chuckle, lightly tracing my eyelid. I thought this was going to be so awkward, but I'd forgotten how charming Jae could really be. "It's not that exciting. Rakepick gave it to me." Further proof that I'm not as clean as I'd like to pretend, part of me has always admired Rakepick even if I'm keenly aware of the numerous reasons that I shouldn't.

Jae whistles. "What got you so far onto her good side?"

I shrug. "She's interested in anyone after the Cursed Vaults. If she's telling the truth, and that is a big "if," she wants to help me find Jacob." My face falls, as I realize the weight of my words only after I've said them. Jae's smile falters too, and he bites his lip. We've arrived at the topic that carries all our baggage - you.

That's when Pitts shows up to berate us for standing around like fools and not doing any work. Hastily, I grab a loaf of bread and start slicing. As I do, Jae and I continue our conversation intermittently. We dwell on a lot of past events. Jacob, do you remember the day we all swam out to sea? I went back after a while, because Mum and Dad had forbidden us, but ever the rebel, you didn't care. I think that was why Jae hung out with us all the time. He really admired you. He still does. I wish I could say the same, you know.

I end up apologizing to Jae, for the way I treated him. I may have been justified in how I was feeling, but none of it was his fault. He didn't treat me too well either, toward the end, but I think he was trying to emulate you and your daredevil antics. Not that I'm blaming you for my estrangement from Jae. I blame you for a lot right now, but not that. Jae apologizes too, and despite everything that's going on, I feel remarkably happy. We shift over for a while, talking about Chiara, and he gets completely flustered. Mentions that she really wanted us to start talking again, so we flip a sickle to see who will be the one to tell her. It ends up rolling under the table, so we agree to tell her together.

I didn't expect detention to be this enjoyable. But I also didn't realize how much I missed Jae. Before we depart the kitchens, he winds up giving me a Revealer. It looks a bit like those eraser things that muggles have, only it uncovers invisible ink. We wind up visiting your room, Jacob, and I show it to Jae. This is normally a place that only Tulip, Merula and I go. But he and talk about you as I painstakingly use the Revealer on the walls, trying to find any clues you left behind. We find nothing, but I'm still happy we got the chance to talk more.

We part ways after that, heading back to our respective Common Rooms. Well, that's where he's going anyway. I'm meeting Merula and we're both going to Ravenclaw Tower. Still pretty giddy about that too. But as we're saying goodbye, I feel a slight twinge. Because of something that Jae asked me while we were cleaning dishes. He asked me how I felt about your disappearance. It's strange. He's the second person to ask me that, after Ollivander.

I lied to him. I've lied to many people now, but it was the perfect opening to confess my reservations about you and I didn't take it. Not out of any wariness of lack of trust in Jae. I just didn't want to dwell on any negative thoughts during what was otherwise a lovely evening. So, not for the first time, I indulged in a comforting lie.

Then again...who says I have to be angry at you for the rest of my life? That's my decision, and no one else's. I told Jae that I missed you and that I'm determined to get you back. Which in retrospect, aren't lies. I do still miss you. Forgiving your betrayal is difficult...but perhaps I should reserve judgement until you've had a chance to explain yourself. I don't know your side of the story, I don't know why you deemed it so important that I forget something...nor what it was that you made me forget. But there was something crucial that you told me that day as well. Something you wiped from my mind, probably by accident. Well, that's on you, buddy. I blamed myself for years, but it turns out that it was your blunder all along.

I'll figure it all out Jacob. What you wanted me to know, and even what you wanted to make sure I forget. Because guess what? I have a right to my memories, so deal with it. I'll clean up your messes, rescue Bea, and rescue you too. Then we'll celebrate with Mum. I might kick your arse first, but the celebration will happen, I promise. I've got Tulip, Merula, and Jae to help me. I'm so glad he and I reconciled. Now if only I could reconcile with someone else....

I love you, you big idiot,

Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya it would be more wholesome! Luca/Merula/Tulip is officially canon, but I have no idea what to call that ship, any ideas?
> 
> Jae and Luca just became besties, and Luca just became a top-tier Jae/Chiara shipper. 
> 
> That said, this IS Year Five, so we know drama awaits...but maybe it can wait a little longer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Happy Fictober, ya'll!


	24. Old and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca investigates Rakepick's connection to Jacob, and learns something very important about an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Fictober carries on! Today's Prompt is "The Portrait Curse" and....I mean, it's the overarching narrative of Year Five, and Beatrice gets name-dropped at one point, so...that counts, right? Okay, okay, the prompt has very little to do with this chapter. But the ongoing story took priority, I'm afraid. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

** _Janurary 18th, 1989_ **

Dear Jacob,

It's quite frustrating. Having this strange, unresolved and un-diagnosed mental condition. It feels as though my brain started out like a glass vase, but people keep knocking over and breaking it. But instead of using the repairing charm, they use that muggle paste that sticks stuff together. I think it was called gloo? That's what it feels like. I'm just a vase that's been broken too many times and no one has a clue how to put me back together now. Humpty-Dumpty, eat your heart out.

For the record, it's not entirely your fault. I still expect you to grovel and beg my forgiveness when we're reunited, and I am going to hold this over you for the rest of time, but in all reality it may have been a combination of things. I've learned a lot about myself this year. Turns out, both you and are pre-disposed to a type of magic called Legilimency. Any witch or wizard can learn to use it, as well as some other creatures, but most humans have to spend years studying the skill before they get good. Not us. Natural talent is in our blood. According to Badeea, it's probably a "Ressesive Jean." Which means that we inherited it from Mum or Dad, but it doesn't always pass down.

The shortest explanation is that we can read minds. Sometimes it doesn’t require a spell, but the most effective method is utilizing the verbal incantation to view another person’s thoughts and memories and…oh boy, is this a power that I could live without. How invasive can you get? I already had to spend months training my magic eye to stop seeing through my friends clothes, and now this? On top of that, I have to take extra lessons with Snape, and…he just doesn’t know how to teach, Jacob. I don’t even hate the man anymore. He’s just…so misplaced in his line of work. But given that Dumbledore hired him, I’m not very surprised. By the way, Dumbledore has apparently known this was true for a while and never told me. Also not a surprise, but I suppose you must know too.

At least, that’s what the staff is speculating. That’s how they’re guessing you were able to contact me telepathically. I actually never told them about that, but I’m not surprised that they know. If both Snape and Dumbledore have training in legilimency, that means they’ve been reading my mind since Year One, and it honestly explains so much. Because why should children have any mental privacy, right? On the other hand, maybe I’m just feeling guilty at how much anticipation this is giving me. Because if I can read anyone’s mind…and it seems like I can, learned some pretty horrid things about Barnaby’s home life…then I could potentially read Rowan’s mind, in theory, and see if I can trust them. That is, unless they know Occlumency. The type of magic that shields the mind from Legilimency. I would rather learn that. And I’d rather learn it from Rakepick if at all possible.

That said, I’m quite furious with her at the moment. I always knew she kept secrets, I always knew there was more to the story than she would ever tell. It’s the same issue as Dumbledore, but he’s so much more pretentious about it. Rakepick is a lot more open, which is why always I’ve found her more likeable and actually trusted her. However, I’ve come to realize something pretty game-changing. Rakepick knows you. She met you in the past, and the two of you worked together. Oh, she denied it when I confronted her. Even offered to let me probe her head – but for an advanced Occlumens, that doesn’t mean much. But I know better. I found your notebook.

She can claim it’s a forgery all she wants – I know your handwriting when I see it. Your “A”s are still extremely weird, by the way. But upon finding your journal, I brought it to Tulip, and she helped me hide it in some bizarre room that was filled to the brim with contraband. Jae would have loved it. I just wanted to make sure no one stole his journal. While I can’t remember what the Weird Sister’s Black Quill actually said, I do remember that it had a message, and someone must have wiped it clean. No one’s going to do that with your Journal. I think Tulip was all too happy to help – and work against Rakepick. Merula was a bit more conflicted, but she agreed not to tell anyone else.

Jacob, you used to work with Rakepick? Were you fighting R, just like we are? I met your friend Duncan, by the way. He’s about as pleasant as Ismelda. I shouldn’t say that – she and I have actually been bonding more recently. I had to stop her and Jae from giving Barnaby a love potion. But yeah, Duncan came back as a ghost and now he haunts the Prefect’s Bathroom. But he won’t give me any answers, so I have no context for what you’re saying. Who was the third person? When did Rakepick save you? When did she save me? I mean, I already know she saved me from Ben while he was being controlled, but that was just last year. There was a second time? Well, I decided to confront Rakepick with what I had found – not actually bringing the notebook, but telling her. I was ready to challenge her to a duel if that was what it took. Because I had realized that Rakepick respects power, and she responds to strength. Almost like Merula. Except Rakepick could seriously kill me if she wanted to, but whatever else her agenda may be, I don’t think she wants me dead.

Oh no, she wants me to kiss the ring. I know that now. See, I made my way into her classroom and issued my challenge. She stone-walled me, as expected, and told me in no uncertain terms to drop the subject. I refused. Readied my wand.

_“Virgula Excindo!”_

A searing heat in my hand, like I was holding a piece of firewood. Then Mum’s wand, Hazel and Unicorn hair, exploded in my face. Two different pieces went flying in different directions, leaving my hand scorched and empty. Jacob, she…broke my wand. With one spell. I could hardly hear her talking about fetching me a spare to use for my classes until she could take me to Ollivander’s. Jacob, she broke my wand. Mum’s wand. The wand I was saving her for, for the day she was able to use magic again. Discounting the why, because at this point I’m not surprised Rakepick would go this far to keep me in line…_how_ did she do that? What was that spell she used? Was it dark magic? Or just that rare? Badeea sometimes talks about inventing her own spells…call it a wild guess, but I have to assume that curse was one Rakepick invented herself. If it wasn’t, I feel like it would be much more common.

Mum had to go see her parents over in America for the holiday like she did back in second year, so I stayed at Hogwarts and escaped having to tell her what happened. When summer rolls around, I’ll have to face the music, but that’s months away. So if I get grounded for life, and banned from Hogwarts, at least I’ll have made it through O.W.L.s. The worst part is that Rakepick threw out the pieces, or Filch did. Someone did, because when I went back for them later, they were gone. On the bright side, I think back to something Rowan told me many years ago – a wand that hasn’t chosen you will always resist you more. You know that? They were right. This feels so much better than the hazel wand. My work in classes has already improved.

Mitten was the first to see my new wand, and I had to stop her from batting it around. Being Silver Lime, it was close to her coloring, and I think she liked that. The core is still unicorn hair, though. I don’t know if wand types run in families, but I’ve still got the pieces of your wand too. Should probably move those to the Hidden Room, but it isn’t always there when I go back. The door only shows up sometimes and as far as I can tell, it’s random. One time, I went back and it wasn’t even the same room. I better not have made a mistake. I’ll have to get Tulip and Merula to help me re-open that room, because I’m not losing your notebook. But before I did any of that, there was something I couldn’t wait on any longer. I needed to try using legilimency on Rowan.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I never really got the opportunity to do it. See, almost as soon as I had made up my mind to do it, there was an…incident. I was in the Courtyard with Ben, Barnaby, and Rowan. Seeing each other in public is unavoidable, and what we’ve done in the past is just ignore each other, and everyone would go along with it, probably sighing in relief as loudly as me once it was over. But things took a turn. Rowan suddenly grabbed at their head, groaning and clawing at their hair. I didn’t know what to think, but their pain didn’t look staged to me. That was when they straightened out and stared at me with a look I have never seen on their face before.

“I told you death was coming to Hogwarts, Luca Fawley…”

It was my worst nightmare. Or, to be more accurate, it started as my worst nightmare, gradually shifted to the strongest feeling of relief I’ve had in what must be years, and then cycled back to panic again. Remember when I told you that Ben being the Red Cloak just gave me a very uneasy feeling? Even when he was un-masked, it didn’t smell right. Months before I got confirmation, I just knew he was being framed. Well, to whoever used the Imperius Curse on Rowan, you screwed up. Because they were so clearly not themself that I knew immediately, and a tremendous weight seemed to lift from my shoulders. Only for it to return in the form of immense guilt, and fear for my best friend’s life.

In the end, the entity controlling Rowan used their mouth to try and force me into a sadistic choice - demanding I select either Ben, or Rowan themself, to be murdered. Of course, Barnaby is amazing and he was having none of it. He knocked Rowan down harmlessly with a jinx. He’s probably the best at dueling, next to Bill, and Diego I guess. But he’s also gentle, and for someone who’s known for being slow, he was quick on his feet. I really owe him for all that. He’ll be getting some belly-rubs from Cat-Luca, for sure.

The three of us carried Rowan to the hospital wing, and it wasn’t long before Bill, Charlie and Penny burst in. Madam Pomfrey looked like she was going to explode with frustration at how many students there were here. She tried to send us all out, even reaching for her wand. But I don’t think she understood that there was literally no chance I was going to leave Rowan’s side at that point. Unless she was prepared to duel me right there, win, and lug my unconscious form from the Hospital Wing, I would not be leaving. And I told her so. Oh yeah, I did. Everyone was staring at me too. Pomfrey opened her mouth, probably to punish me somehow, but I cut her off again.

“You knew who Rakepick was when she brought me this magic eye. You knew, and wouldn’t tell me or my Mum. You also knew what really happened to me on the day Jacob disappeared. You’ve known for years, and kept that from me. So whatever you’re about to say isn’t going to make me leave. Nothing will.”

This is the point I’m at with the Hogwarts staff, minus Flitwick. I honestly don’t care about being rude anymore. Plus, I don’t think Madam Pomfrey expected me to know the things that I knew, so she was pacified for a while. The others didn’t really know what I was talking about, but I could explain later. Pomfrey mumbled something about only two visitors at a time, so everyone cleared out apart from me and Penny.

Rowan groaned in the bed, and Penny turned to me the moment Pomfrey was out of earshot. “What’s going on, Luca? What happened to Rowan?” No doubt she’ll eventually want to know about what I said to Pomfrey too, but Rowan took priority in that moment. Penny didn’t look well at all. Her braids were loose, she had bags under her eyes, and when she walked into the Hospital Wing I could have sworn she was swaying. Beatrice has not yet been liberated, and it’s really taking its toll on Penny.

I stared at the floor, feeling sick. “We were in the Courtyard and…someone bewitched them. I think it was the Imperius Curse. The same way Ben was bewitched last year. It was the same person, too. Talking about death coming to Hogwarts and everything.”

Penny stared at me, blinking in shock and confusion as she tried to piece it together. Her intuition is slower these days. “So Rowan…Rowan isn’t R?”

“No.” I said quietly. “They’re not.” My stomach was twisting more and more with every moment. I was wrong. I was wrong this whole time, and if anything were to happen to Rowan, I-

“What…? Of course I’m not. You…thought I was R?”

Merlin’s beard. Jacob, why couldn’t you have rescued me? I didn't realize Rowan was fully awake, but they were, and they heard our conversation. It wasn’t like I was going to keep the truth from them. I knew I would have to have this conversation eventually, but I was not ready for it. Not in that moment. Not while Rowan was bed-ridden and Penny was sleep-deprived and I was still in the heat of beating myself. With the slightest movement of my head, I met Rowan’s gaze. Intense shame washing over me as I saw the look in their eye.

“Penny…could you give us a minute?”

She nodded, and turned to leave the Hospital Wing. Bumping into one of the bedspreads on her way out. Poor thing.

I looked back at Rowan, and the eye contact lasted quite a while. I’ve mostly gotten over my issues with looking people in the eye, and it used to be so easy with them. “I’m probably the worst friend anyone’s ever had, Rowan. You were loyal to me from the very start and I threw you away. I’m sorry.”

However, Rowan just tilted their head, shifting in place. Their physical pain was obvious, and I only felt worse. “But, wait…it wasn’t because you were tired of me, or outgrew me? You thought that I was R?”

More shame. So much that I thought I might have drowned in it. Slowly nodding, my hands twisted each other, the Mark of Despair felt as though it was prickling. “I have no excuse for doubting you. When you starting building a case against Ben…and I realized that your name started with R…I panicked, Rowan.” It’s strange, but looking back I’m not sure why it seemed so certain to me that they were my enemy. Thinking about it now, all of the reasons seem so flimsy.

Rowan took a few moments to ponder this, before looking around at their surroundings. “Did…Did Ben do this to me? I can’t remember…”

I shook my head quickly. “No, Ben is…Ben isn’t the enemy. Someone else used the Imperius Curse on him, just like they did to you. But Ben was standing right next to me. I promise you, it wasn’t him.”

“Imperius Curse? Wait a mo’…you mean I was…?” Rowan suddenly looked horrified. I nodded grimly.

“You started talking like The Red Cloak…but the moment you did, I realized you were possessed, and how bloody stupid I was for ever suspecting you. If I ever do meet the person that cursed you, I might just thank them. You know, before we kick their arse.”

Rowan chuckled at this. Jacob, this was the first conversation we’d really had in months. The first honest conversation in over a year, and boy was I grateful for it. Rowan looked at me. “So…you really didn’t trust me at all, then?”

Shame hurts, Jacob. It hurts so badly. I didn’t even want to look them in the eye, but I forced myself too. “I wanted too. I really did. When you heard me sleep talking, did I ever say anything like that? I hope I did.”

Rowan shook their head. “No, you just kept repeating the same words. “Very important, don’t trust...” Over and over. You never said my name at the end, but it was always when you slept the most fitfully. I drew my own conclusions.” They added, reflecting. Oh god, shame hurts.

“I was so afraid…so afraid you weren’t who I once thought you were. Because I so wanted you to be. I never felt like I deserved a friend like you. And I sure didn’t.”

Rowan reached out and grabbed my arm. “Hey, I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much. Truth is, I’ve really missed you, Luca. So say you’re sorry. Go on.”

I stared back at them. Were things really going to go back to normal? “I’m sorry. I am. I wish I could take it all back.”

Rowan nodded solemnly. “Alright, good enough for me. Now where’s Ben? Because I think I owe him a similar apology…” They blushed slightly, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“I’ll get him for you…in a second. There’s something I want to do first.” Rowan seemed perplexed at first, but in another moment I had knelt down on the floor, and when I leaped up onto their bedspread, I was a black cat again. For the next hour or so, my best friend and I reconnected. Jacob, it was the best. The only slight mishap was when Rowan repeated the belief that I resembled Bitten. That got them a nip on the thumb. Setting aside the end of our feud, it’s very important to correct anyone who makes that mistake. I do not look like Bitten. At all. Period.

Well, I may be stuck with a new wand, but the Silver Lime wand yields to me so much more than the Hazel wand. I may be a legilimens, but I don’t think I’m going to be pursuing that power too much. But I don’t care about any of that, except for the part where I get to catch Rowan up on all the details. They’re going to love my new wand, and I’m going to love watching them gush over it. Jacob, I’m sorry you haven’t gotten the chance to reconcile with Duncan. Because nobody should have to part ways with a friend, without getting the chance to make things right… I am actually crying right now, and missing you a fair bit. I still want you to meet Rowan.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The power of friendship is stronger! (Though if you know the game's story, I'm sure you saw this coming.) 
> 
> Bonus points if you caught the easter egg location Luca went to in this chapter!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	25. Look to the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As fifth year continues to take its toll, Luca helps two of their friends admit to something important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Fictober Time! Today's Prompt is "O.W.L.s" but ah...full disclosure, I never got that TLSQ. I haven't had a chance to play it yet. So O.W.Ls. will be more of a looming presence in this than an actual plot. But nonetheless, please enjoy!

May 13th, 1989

Dear Jacob,

I’m so damn worried about Penny. If we don’t do something soon, if we can’t find a way to rescue Beatrice, I’m really not sure what’s going to happen to her. What I do know is that I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Penny’s parents at school, even though Mum previously showed up for half of my incidents. Which can only mean that the staff hasn’t told them about Bea (big surprise) and that Penny hasn’t told them either. I think I know why, too. She’s ashamed. She blames herself for taking her eye off Bea. Even though it would have been impossible to literally watch her every moment of every day, with them having different classes. It wasn’t like we thought Bea was in any danger anyway. 

Still. Penny’s been through so much pain this year and I really don’t know what else is going to cure her pain other than finding her sister. Which has, itself, been rough. Remember how I said I felt bad about blaming Peeves for the Weird Sister’s shenanigans, because he did help me find Merula’s songbook and in general, he’s just trying to have fun in his own way? Yeah, I take all of that back. In full. There are many people at Hogwarts who have grown to frustrate me, most of them being in positions of power, but Peeves has reached another level. He knows how to help us obtain the Vault Portrait, which is what we need to reach the next Vault, save Bea, and potentially save you. But he’s holding out on us. 

It is no exaggeration for me to say that it’s been close to a month of trying to appease his nonsense, and I’m reaching the end of my rope. The other day, Bill had to hold me back from hexing Peeves into submission - that’s the point I’m at. Innocent people, first years and second years, are succumbing to the Portrait Curse. I am so not interested in Peeves’ games. Sure, having Tonks and Tulip and Merula has made it a lot easier, since together we form a pretty exceptional pranking team. But pranks aren’t my thing, not really. Peeves has made me participate in loads of pointless nonsense that ended up ruining other people’s days. I still owe Charlie for putting frog spawn in his bath...don’t ask. 

This one has really been hell, Jacob. This Vault has been hell to investigate. I still haven’t told Mum about her broken wand, or that I lost the pieces. But since then, things have gotten even stranger. And it all seems to come back to Percy’s pet rat. Percy Weasley is my least favorite of Bill’s brothers. It’s not that I have anything against his loyalty to rules and authority figures, or his moral compass. There was a time when I shared them, that was why Jae and I fell out. But he is always butting in and interfering, trying to boss us around. Even though he’s just a second year and I’m literally a Prefect. So is Charlie, and Bill is Head Boy. Not to mention that we’re working with Rakepick, a literal teacher, as her personal apprentices to investigate the Vaults. It’s not like that’s a secret or anything. 

But this isn’t about Percy. It’s about his rat, “Scabbers.” But that isn’t his real name. I worked it out a while ago, when we were trying to track him down after he had run off again. Scabbers isn’t really a rat at all, he’s a human in Animagus form, hiding from people that want to cause him harm. The others were baffled by the human footprints that seemed to appear out of nowhere, and at first so was I. But every time Scabbers would go missing, I’d enlist Mitten, transform into Cat-Luca, and we’d try to seek him out. And it got me thinking...why would a garden rat be so interested in a map that he wouldn’t have the means to activate? Even if he did know how to read, which is unlikely. Mitten is smarter than half of Ravenclaw house, but even she doesn’t know how to read - because no one taught her. Rat footprints ending...only for human prints to appear? No, I knew what that meant. 

It was only confirmed later when I came face to face with Scabbers in his true form. Had to have Mitten chase him down and hold him by the tail. Pointed my wand at the rat and told him plainly that Mitten was hungry, so he’d better change back before he was eaten. Which he did - even in human form, he looked rather gritty.He refused to tell me his name, but I wasn’t surprised. All he would say is that he was hiding from...I guess, multiple people. He insisted that he was hated universally, which I somehow didn’t doubt, and that the Marauder’s Map belongs to him. In that moment, I figured out who he must be. Don’t know his real name or anything, but the creators of the map are all named when it’s opened, and the name that made the most sense for Scabbers was Wormtail. So I addressed him by that name to gauge his reaction. I’ve never seen someone tense up so quickly, so I knew I was right. 

The funny thing is, I shouldn’t even remember the encounter. You’re going to like this, Jacob. Wormtail tried to obliviate me, just like you did. But this grown man who looked about thirty was apparently not skilled enough in Charms to actually cast the spell properly. I went a bit slack-jawed for a few minutes, and my brain slowed down, but once I regained myself from the stupor I still remembered everything. It didn’t even trigger a mental break-down. By this point, I’ve given up trying to determine what precisely causes them. What I will say is that while I was in my stupor, I had a bit of an out-of-body experience. Staring at myself from afar as Rakepick burst into the room. Jacob, I’ve never seen her look so scared. It was almost unnerving. I suppose she really does care about me, then. Guardian Angels, am I right? 

When I recovered, though, I had to plan ahead. I tried to think about what Rakepick would do, and so I let everyone believe the charm actually affected me. Everyone except Rowan. I decided I could confide in one person about Wormtail, and it was crystal clear who it was going to be. Ever since Rowan was imperius’d, and we talked over everything - we’re back to code. We’re closer than ever. They and I have been doing a little investigation of our own, trying to research how portraits work, and all the finer details. Anything to rescue poor Bea and the others.

Wormtail doesn’t really strike me as a candidate for being R. Admittedly, I don’t know his real name or anything, but he just doesn’t have the temperament. He’s jumpy, he’s cowardly, he’s inept with magic. I don’t know why he’s posing as Weasley family’s pet rat, but he must have some hidden agenda. Perhaps he works for R, or is being threatened by them like we’ve been. But I have to keep an eye on him without him knowing that’s what I’m doing. But if he knows something about the vault portrait, then we need to know it too, because Peeves is driving us in circles, and the research Rowan’s doing is getting us nowhere. Plus, they’ve had to scale it back a bit with O.W.L.s coming up.

Everyone is stressed out these days, with O.W.L.s being just a few weeks away. Rowan is having panic attacks about their marks, Ismelda is more reclusive than ever, and Chiara’s had to cut back on time she spends volunteering at the Hospital Wing. I often study with Tulip and Merula, but Tulip has a problem with focusing and Merula gets impatient easily. Rakepick also doesn’t have much patience for us spending time on anything but the Vault Portrait, and I’m just sitting here wondering why she bothered showing me the Cruciatus Curse if I’m apparently not allowed to use it on Peeves. I’m joking, I would never do that…but I’m surprised Rakepick hasn’t. She’s stressed out too. This is truly the worst season we’ve had here at Hogwarts.

But none of them are doing as badly as Penny. These days, the sleeping circle we established in first year is probably helping her as much as it’s helping me. Most nights she lies awake and tells us not to worry. When she can sleep, she either starts sleep-walking to Bea’s portrait or is otherwise plagued by nightmares about her old friend Scarlett. What’s worse is when her insomnia strikes at night, causing her to fall asleep in class, and then have a nightmare. Most people sleep through History of Magic anyway, but Penny is also falling asleep in Transfiguration. I’ll never forget the time McGonagall approached our table, and I just looked at her pitifully and asked her to leave Penny be, since she needed more sleep. Thankfully, McGonagall let it go, without even taking points from Hufflepuff. You know, she’s not half bad. She’s no Flitwick, but I can tell that she cares.

As I make my way to detention, I try to figure out a way to help Penny’s mental health if I can. I’m not much use right now, with all of my time dedicated to making sure I don’t fail my exams and appeasing that damn poltergeist. But I’ve been wracking my brains, trying to think if there’s anyone at Hogwarts who isn’t swamped right now, someone who isn’t overwhelmed by exams. Eventually, I arrive at two people. One of whom, I’m going to see later, and I’m thinking is probably my best bet. But the second person is someone I’m going to see right now – Jae Kim. You’ll be happy to know that we’ve been close knit ever since that first night. Now if only I could get along better with Diego…however, as I enter the kitchens, Jae is sitting at one of the tables – with Penny. She’s already…what is she doing here?

I quietly approach from behind the table, hearing them talk about what sounds like gold. Are they…haggling? The closer I get, the clearer it becomes. Penny is involving herself in Jae’s black market. Bloody hell. It’s not that Penny is a particularly lawful person. On the contrary, she’s just as chaotic as Tonks – she’s just far more low-key about it. But as Jae takes out his contraband, I recognize it – auto-answer quills. I’ve confiscated them from first years before. Sitting down next to Penny, I cause her to jump. Jae of course, is unfazed.

“Penny, what the hell are you doing? You’re better than this.” My tone isn’t accusing, but her face reads guilty as can be. She starts to stammer, trying to explain herself. But she doesn’t need to. There are a myriad of reasons why this is happening, so I cut her off. “Look, I don’t care if you cheat. I care if you get caught. I don’t want to see you expelled.”

“Luca, beat it.” Jae hisses. “I’m in the middle of a sale.”

I glance back at him. “No, Jae. She shouldn’t do this. You want gold? Here, I’ll buy.” I take out a handful of galleons and set it on the table, before grabbing the auto-answer quills and hiding them in my robes, making a mental note to drop them in the bin later. I don’t think Jae minds, so long as he gets paid. Technically speaking, as a Prefect, I could bust him any time I wanted, but I’m not about to burn that bridge now that it’s been repaired. I just don’t want Penny to do something she’ll regret.

I look back at Penny. She’s got her arms on the table now, and her face buried in them. Definitely feeling ashamed, so I just comfort her for a while, until I’m certain that she’s fallen asleep. Pitts shows up to yell at me for not working, but I jump into action before he can wake Penny. As we work on making sandwiches, Jae and I discuss Penny. He admits that he used to think she and I were dating, back in the earlier years. Which makes me chuckle. Penny is the sort of girl your parents hope to see you bring home to meet them, since she’s sociable and sweet and talented. But most people don’t normally see the other side of her, at least, they didn’t prior to this year. Because Penny does not perform well under pressure at all. Her composure completely collapses when she’s under duress, and she tries to compensate with reckless, dangerous choices. Like the time she tried to drink a Forgetfulness Potion so she wouldn’t be haunted by a friend’s death. I had to stop her, and tell her that from personal experience, losing important memories is far more traumatic than it is healing. Feel guilty, Jacob. Feel very guilty.

In any case, Penny and I were never going to be a thing. Particularly not since she’s been in love with the same girl for about five years now…that’s been an interesting ride. Skye and Penny have had their ups and downs. At the start of this year, I could have sworn they already had one foot in the door of being official. The day before Bea disappeared, I saw them sitting out on the grounds under a big tree, practically cuddling, nudging noses and everything. Then Bea disappeared, and Penny broke down. Every aspect of her life suffered. My knowledge of the relationship since then has come exclusively from Skye and Penny venting to me individually about it.

If there’s one thing that could help Penny right now, one person who could, then I know where to find her. I love Jae, but convincing her to buy his illegal contraband won’t exactly help right now. But there’s one other person who couldn’t be bothered about exams. The same girl who tears pages out of textbooks (giving Rowan a heart attack in the process) and isn’t really bothered about anything now that we’ve already had the Quidditch Final. As my detention ends, I gently shake Penny to wake her up. God, she looks absolutely miserable. This is tearing me up, Jacob. I’m supposed to be the friend that feels like depressed garbage all the time, not any of the others. Penny shouldn’t have to assume that.

She vaguely mumbles “Okay…” as I take her hands and help her stand up. Thankfully, she’s cooperating, but she might be assuming that I’ll give her the auto-answer quills later down the road. Well, I won’t, but I will take her to Skye. I know where to find her, too. The Quidditch Pitch is empty and supposed to be off-limits right now, but like most other Professors, I’m really not that fond of Hooch and I don’t care what she thinks. Don’t believe Skye does either.

Sure enough, there she is. Sitting in the Changing Rooms by her lonesome, reading Quidditch Through The Ages for what must be the hundredth time. She looks up, seeing our arrival. “What’s up, is it past curfew or something?”

“Almost.” I respond grimly. Penny is just standing there loosely, staring at Skye. She’s equally unsure why I brought her here, but less focused on actually finding out the reason. Gently guiding Penny to sit down, I turn to Skye. “This has gone far enough. Neither of you should be alone right now, when what you really want is to spend time together.”

Skye’s freckled cheeks start to flush. “Now, hold on a mo’…” as Penny buries her face in her hands.

“Call it whatever you want to call it, I’m not trying to force you into a decision.” I reassure them, but keep my tone firm. “But you’ve been avoiding each other for the last month, and the problem is never going to fix itself if you just keep coming to me and Tonks for advice.” Both of us have told Penny and Skye the exact same thing – talk to each other. Skye already confessed to me a long time ago that she’s got it bad for Penny, and it’s no secret at this point that Penny feels the same way. But they’re both being stubborn. This last month has been especially rough on Penny, and Skye has seemed off her game too. This has got to be why.

Penny and Skye trade a bashful glance. Penny bites her lip. “I just don’t feel like I can manage anything in my life anymore. Not classes, not quidditch, not friends…and not…whatever this is.” She gestures vaguely between the two of them. I start to wonder if I should leave. My intention was to make sure this conversation did happen, but it’s not really my place to stick around while it does. I’m starting to turn away when I hear Skye speak up.

“You know, sometimes Bea would talk to me when I’d visit her. Tell me to make sure you’re okay.” This was before, when Bea was still able to communicate with us, but even that’s been slipping away. Still. “She knew you’d do this, Penny. She knew you’d go off the deep end if you couldn’t protect her.”

Okay, Skye can be a bit blunt, so now I feel like I really should chime in. “But you’re not the only one protecting Bea. Between all of us, we’ll find a way to get her out. We’ve broken every curse so far, why should this one be any different?”

Skye nods. “I reckon Bea won’t be too pleased if she gets out of the portrait only to find you half dead, yeah?” She leans forward. “You have to be strong for her.”

Penny is wringing her hands now. “I knew you’d say that. Because that’s what you do, Skye. You push it all down, put up walls. Your strength comes from acting like you don’t care. Sometimes, it feels like I don’t know who you care about at all, or what you're really feeling-“

Skye abruptly gets up from her chair, letting her book fall to the floor. She moves in toward Penny with purpose, and-oh, blimey. Skye kisses Penny. Yeah, I think that’s my cue to leave. Still, though, I can’t help but start mentally cheering. Everyone in Hufflepuff has been rooting for this. I can’t wait to tell Tonks.

Before I leave though, I glance around one more time. By this point, Skye’s cradling Penny in her arms, and for the first time in months, Penny has a smile on her face. Jacob, I’ve done good today. I’m proud of myself.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parkwood is canon! This is a not a drill! I repeat, Parkwood is canon! 
> 
> Also, Luca actually remembers the meeting with Wormtail, and only Rowan knows it...I wonder how this will play out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	26. The Common Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Year Five reaches its end, Luca and the others deal with what transpired in the Underground Vault, and work to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of year five! How does the time fly? Today's Prompt is "MC's Friends" which seems to be a recurring theme for the end of year prompts. Regardless, let's move on ahead! Please enjoy!

** _June 4th, 1989_ **

Dear Mum,

You were wrong.

She wasn’t my Guardian angel.

Someday, I’ll give this letter to you. Someday. In the meantime, I don’t think I have it in me to tell you about what really happened, or what I’m feeling. I normally write letters like this to Jacob, but I have too much I need to say to him, and I’d prefer it was said in person. Until then, I’ve got some grievances to discuss with you as well. Namely, that I got your letter. You know, the one about going to America over the summer? I haven’t seen you since last August, and now it turns out that you, Grandma and Grandpa are going to be gone all summer? That’s just terrific; I guess I don’t have any family members who want to see me at all.

A lot has happened since I last saw you. My friend Penny sank into a depression worse than any I’ve ever seen, before we were able to free her sister. I entered into a polyamorous relationship with two people, though I’m not sure if that’s going to last much longer now. I reconciled with some old friends that I wasn’t on speaking terms with. I lost your wand, too. It got broken a few months ago. Broken by the woman who gave me the magic eye, Patricia Rakepick.

She betrayed us, Mum.

Or, to be more specific, she wasn’t ever really on our side. As far as I can tell, her allegiance was with R the entire time. She needed my abilities in legilimency to open the Underground Vault properly. Once that was done, she dropped all pretense and turned her wand on us. Finding out she came to the Vault once before with Jacob and Wormtail wasn’t really a shocker…like, I already knew that Rakepick knew Jacob, even if she previously denied it. But everything else kind of threw me off balance. The idea that we were expendable to her. Harsh, but not altogether surprising…what hurt a lot more was her admittance that she would gladly leave Jacob to rot, and was prepared to kill us all.

And then, she used the Cruciatus Curse on Merula. Little bit of context, Merula is part of my three-way-relationship. She’s prickly and combative and self-absorbed and…and I love her. With her parents in Azkaban, she was projecting a motherly role onto Rakepick, and Rakepick tortured her. I don’t even know what happened to me in that moment, but I lost my mind. Forgot about magic, or common sense. Just charged forward and tackled Rakepick with complete abandon. Don’t think she was expecting that, so the element of surprise gave us a brief upper-hand.

It got dicey real fast after that. Mitten jumped into the fray to scratch at Rakepick’s face, and Rakepick hurled her back with a curse. I pretty much screamed bloody murder because for a hot second I thought Mitten was dead. She was fine though, just unconscious. That was when I threw the garroting gas that Snape had given me before (he and I have an odd relationship) and Rakepick was forced to make a retreat. I didn’t even know you could disapparate in and out of the Underground Vault, but that’s what she did.

And then, I found Jacob.

As far as I can tell, he’s been sealed inside a portrait like Beatrice for the past five years. In some kind of suspended animation or something. But he was able to communicate with me, and beg me to set him free. Which of course, I did. Now we’re getting into the reasons why I’m writing this note in my creature notebook at two in the morning, rather than in a letter that Cinder is bringing you. Because it wasn’t the happy reunion I had always hoped for. Jacob still calls me Pip, but at least he isn’t calling me Pipsqueak anymore. Or he might have, if he had stuck around. But he immediately left to chase after Rakepick. I spoke to my brother for two minutes, before he disappeared once again.

Okay, I’ve learned about my brother in the past few years that has affected my view of him, but I always held back true judgment. Always told myself that it was only fair to wait and see what he would say when we spoke. Hear his side of the story. But he didn’t offer any side. He left in such a hurry that I never even got the chance to ask him about…about something that I really wanted to ask him. But now he’s gone, and I still don’t know what happened on the day he first vanished.

I’ve gone far beyond being a depressed coffee bean by this point. I’m just a mug of coffee that’s been left out in the sun and spoiled. Nothing left to do but throw me down the drain. If someone were to do that, I wouldn’t object. Mum, I’ve had points in my life where I was miserable – my best friend and I didn’t talk for a period of several months, for example. But I’ve never been this exhausted, never been this unstable. Dumbledore tried to apologize for his role in all this, which I should have been receptive too. Honesty is all I’ve ever wanted from him. But I basically just ignored him, petting his phoenix and not really saying anything in response. When he prodded me to talk, though, I finally just unloaded.

“Please stop. You’re so used to no one blaming you for anything, that you’re acting like…like you having responsibility for what happened is some mind-blowing revelation for me. It’s not. You’re the reason Rakepick was here, I know how to add one and one. You care about your agenda more than your students…and? I knew that already. Look, I’ve only got two more years here, after that, we never have to see each other again. So either expel me, or leave me alone.” If you were there, I think you’d have a stroke seeing the way I spoke to him. I don’t think he expected me to react that way. Dumbledore isn’t used to people standing up to him, but I honestly wasn’t even doing that, I didn’t the energy to do so. All I did was make it clear to him that I don’t fall for it – any of the polite whimsy that he hides behind. In the last two weeks of term, McGonagall and Flitwick and even Sprout approached me and tried to reach out to me but I just rebuffed all of them. Too little, too late…I have friends that I trust more than I’d ever trust them.

I suppose it’s my fault for rejecting genuine effort from people who (minus Flitwick) I’ve always held at arm’s length, but I don’t know what else to say. I wasn’t in the mood to engage with them. I was worried about Merula, thinking about Jacob, still numb when I tried to think about Rakepick…and then I got your news. Not gonna lie Mum, I’m rather angry with you too. Are your parents that important that you’re forgetting to be a parent yourself? How come you always have to go see them, why is it they can never seem to come here? Barring that, why is it that Jacob and I were never allowed to go with you? I’m sixteen now, it’s not as though I’m too young. I have grandparents that I’ve never met, you realize that? And what’s with Grandma and Grandpa going with you – do your parents get along with Dad’s that well? It’s like you don’t understand how much I need to see you right now. I’ll admit, none of us knew all this was coming…but considering what I’ve been through, the least you could do is take me with you.

But I’ve come to accept, come to realize, that my family doesn’t really care much about me. Maybe Gail would have, I’ll never know. I’m sure Dad did, when he was around. But Grandma and Grandpa always seem so formal, like knowing me is an obligation Even if I’m your son and you love me, you’re not doing the best job of showing that to me at the moment. And Merlin knows, Jacob has a lot to answer for. There was a moment of real hesitation, you know. I’m ashamed to tell you this, but when I first saw him sealed in that portrait, he looked nothing like himself. Has he ever shaved his head before? Not that I can remember. And the way he called out to me, to “trust” him…

I hesitated. And he noticed it.

I don’t know what to say. It could be the intense paranoia I’ve developed in the past few years, but I become immediately suspicious of anyone who reassures me that they can be trusted without any sort of prompting. I never indicated to Jacob that I didn’t trust him, and all he was asking me to do was set him free. It wasn’t like I gave any signs of doubt before he told me I could trust him. But those words planted the idea in my head. He could tell, and I think he resented it. Which is fair, it’s entirely fair, but…you know what? I do have reason not to trust him. Mum, he…he did something to me. I don’t know why, I never got the chance to ask but...several years ago, before he left, he put me through an ordeal and I’m still recovering from it.

With Rakepick gone, Bill depressed, and Merula having withdrawn back into her shell, the team that was once a family has broken into pieces. Ben is understandably shaken too – I tried to tell him not to come, but he took offense to it. Since we got back, I’ve barely seen him. I have nothing and no one to reliably lean on. Charlie was there, and he’s also traumatized. He and Bill are comforting each other. Tulip helps me, but we’re also focused on trying to aid Merula. Penny finally has Beatrice back, and she’s dating Skye, so she’s happier than she’s been all year – I’m not going to ruin that. Barnaby is as lovable as ever, but I don’t feel as though I can connect with him the way I would some other people. I’ve taken to wandering the grounds, and revisiting the Creatures Reserve.

Making my way back to where I met the Welsh Green Dragon, or thought I did, trying to cope with everything, trying to understand. I reach out and gently pet the invisible, leathery skin of Jacob Jr, a thestral. Still thinking about his namesake’s notebook. Badeea discovered the true nature of that weird room Tulip found. The one that is sometimes there and sometimes not. As it turns out, it's controlled and guided by thoughts, but has a mind of it's own? Badeea calls it the Come and Go Room, and with her help I was able to recover the notebook that Jacob gave me. The one where he talked about Rakepick saving our lives…I suppose she was just trying to safeguard the legilimens’ she needed. But why us? Why the Fawley kids, specifically? Because we were Curse-Breakers? How did she know I was a legilimens before even I did?

I remain in the Creatures Reserve for most of the day, by my lonesome, until Liz manages to find me and drag me back to the castle, insisting that she’s got something to show me. I go along with what she wants, not really invested but having no power in me to argue. To my surprise, she leads me right to the Come and Go room. I try to ask her what she’s on about, but she ignores me, concentrates, and summons a doorway. Nodding for me to enter, which I do.

I’ve never seen the room on the other side before. It’s as though each of the four walls is styled after one of the Hogwarts houses. They’re all painted different colors with unique banners. The left-hand corner a deep sea green with a silver snake, and black candles on the nightstand. The right-hand corner a more bright crimson with a golden lion banner, and a fireplace. The wall across from me is sky blue, with a bronzed eagle and a couple of paintings. And directly behind me, as the doorway disappears, there’s a dandelion yellow wall with a black badger, and a few different plants set up. Each wall also has a couple of beds set up too. This room is unlike any other in the castle, and it’s gigantic – only it would probably feel even larger if it were empty. But it’s not.

Rowan, Jae, Chiara, Tulip, Badeea, Tonks, Barnaby, and Diego – yes, even Diego…are all waiting on the other side. All clumped together as Liz moves to join them. Mitten Is wandering around as well, alongside Puppy, Barnaby’s very small Crup. Frowning slightly and slowly looking around the room again, I start doing the thing I’ve always done. You know, where I vaguely make hand gestures to try and convey words while I’m speechless.

Barnaby is the one to open up the conversation. “Isn’t this Room great? It can be anything you want it to be. It could be a dueling club or another creature reserve or-“

“Or a Common Room for every House.” Badeea finished, with a small smile. “Dunno why Hogwarts doesn’t do it this way to begin with, but now we can. If any of us ever want to, we can always come here.”

“Rowan and Tulip told us about the letter you got from your Mum.” Chiara speaks softly. “And it’s rotten, Luca. I can’t imagine having to go without seeing my family for an entire summer.”

“Especially in light of…well, current events.” Jae adds quietly. He and I exchange a glance. Out of all the people here, he’s the only one that knew Jacob before all this. You remember? The little boy in the yellow hoodie, who used to follow us around? He was probably the most excited, after me, at the prospect of seeing Jacob again. Which would make it a severe disappointment when that didn’t happen.

I look between all of them, feeling emotion starting to well up inside me. Rowan and Diego still haven’t said anything. I know Rowan has also been in a bad place recently – their first and only crush, Bill, is graduating soon. We’ve all been talking about throwing him some kind of surprise party. I’m going to miss him too – without Jacob around, he’s become like an older brother to me as well as Charlie and Percy. I open my mouth to say something, but then close it again. Will I ever be able to speak?

Diego chimes in. Yes, Diego. You’ve heard me grumble about him before, right? “I’ll admit, I didn’t used to understand why you were so afraid of sleeping alone, Luca. But Rowan told me the story about the lethifold…” I wouldn’t say I shoot Rowan a glance, but I do move my eyes to meet theirs pointedly. Now Rowan is blushing, quite a bit actually. Diego crosses over to me, and claps me on the arm. “But now, I think I get it. You know, I was nearly buried alive as a kid. Total accident, of course…but if it wasn’t for my underage magic activating, well…I might not be here to talk about it.”

Diego had a near-death experience as a young kid too? Wow, I…I didn’t know. I truly didn’t know, until just now. Which reminds me, Mum, there’s loads I haven’t told you that I probably won’t ever tell you. Like the fact that my friends and I have a sleeping cycle worked out where we pair up in beds. Don’t worry, with the exception of Tulip and Merula, it’s not a romantic thing. There’s also the fact that I was nearly killed by a lethifold the night that Jacob disappeared, and the fact that someone very likely sent it after me. So finding out that Diego was almost killed too…I’ve never really liked him, but…wow.

Diego shrugs. “Besides, Rowan showed me that sharing a bed is no big deal. It’s a nice thing. So consider me part of your circle, if you want. Or don’t. I mean, I know I can be annoying sometimes, but you’re my friend, Luca.” So much…to unpack. So much to unpack with what he just said. First of all, he acknowledged how strained our friendship is. Should I feel awkward about that, or should I treat this as progress? But more importantly – Rowan! This time, I definitely shoot them a glance, and Rowan simply hides their face, looking quite flustered. It occurs to me now, that Rowan and Diego must have camped out together during the time that Rowan and I weren’t talking. It’s not that I’m jealous or anything, but Rowan never told me about this. Could it be because Diego and I never usually get along? Or is it…something else? Noticing how flushed Rowan is…something occurs to me. Could they fancy Diego?

Okay, I’ve been a mime for too long. It’s time to actually say something. But I don’t know what I can manage apart from. “Thanks…thanks Diego. Thank you, all of you. I…I don’t really know what to say. I mean, I like this. I might just stay here for the rest of term.” And I mean it. Partially because the simple act of moving anywhere takes effort, of which I have none these days. But it’s mainly that I love what my friends have done for me, and to hell with it, Diego’s my friend too.

Tulip, who has also been quiet up until this point, now approaches herself and takes me into her arms. “You’ll be happy to know that Rowan and Chiara had me sign a contract, that I wouldn’t prank anyone while in here. But Tonks and I are already looking for loopholes.” She adds this second part as a murmur in my ear, with her usual smirk. I’m still in trouble, even after three years. I just hope the chaos that we both know and love is able to return to us soon.

Rowan folds their arms. “Quite right we did. By the way, Luca, they won’t take credit, but you should be very aware that Jae and Chiara were the brains behind this idea.”

Now it’s their turn to look sheepish. Jae rubs the back of his neck and Chiara’s pale skin goes scarlet. “It’s no big deal…it’s an idea we’ve had for a while now, we simply put it into motion.” She mutters.

Rowan looks at me. “If you’re going to be alone at your place this summer, there’s no reason you can’t have people over, right? We’ll make it just like this. Have a whole squad around to keep you company. Got that?”

Tonks nods along with her. “Sooner or later, we’ll talk to the others. I can get Penny and Skye on board, Jae can talk to the Weasley boys, you and Tulip will need to talk to Merula about it, and-“

“What about Ben?” I suddenly inter-cut, realizing that he isn’t here.

Several people in the room exchange darker glances. Jae is the one to speak up. “Ben…Ben’s been acting weird lately. You know, ever since the Underground Vault. He keeps trying to act all tough. Probably overcompensating…maybe we can talk to Penny about brewing a calming draught or something.”

Ben…you know Mum, when I first met him, I took him under my wing. Call it my stupid rescuer complex, but I looked at him and saw so much of myself when I was little, and Jacob would look after me. Despite being my age, I started seeing Ben as my little brother, and I still do. Last year, circumstances made it seem as though he was really working for R, and I just couldn’t believe it. I never suspected him. Present day, if he’s reacting negatively to what happened in the Underground Vault…then I have to protect him again. Whatever it takes.

In the mean time, I have all of my friends beside me to help me heal. I’ll see you…sometime. I don’t know when I’ll see you. Maybe it doesn’t matter when I see you, so long as I have the others. But until then.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luca may have been betrayed, but they sure aren't alone. 
> 
> Now we move onto Year Six, with Ministry break-ins and Goth Hufflepuffs! 
> 
> Happy Fictober, everyone!


	27. Methods of Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca reaches out to a kindred spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the beginning of the end! Year Six commences with today's Prompt "MC's Goth Phase" though I do cheat a little, as Luca would probably never go goth...but you'll see. 
> 
> Please enjoy! Happy Fictober!

** _September 10th, 1989_ **

Dear Mum,

So, what are you up to these days? You wrote me a lot over the summer but I still haven't met your parents. They don't write me themselves. Could you at least send a picture? It's fine if you can't. My summer wasn't terrible.

I spent the majority of it with Rowan, Jae, Chiara, and Tulip frequently coming over as I ran Black Sand Apothecary. I took a crack at it, since there was no one else around to, and two of Rowan's aunts gave me a hand. If you don't like that I did that, well, maybe you should have stuck around for the summer. Most of the customers were asking after you anyway. I'm no Nina Fawley, but at least I was around. You weren't even there on the day I went back to Hogwarts.

I'm sorry, it's just been...difficult lately. On the final day of term, I was accosted and kidnapped by an Auror in the Three Broomsticks. Between that and the broken wand, I really am becoming Jacob, huh? Thankfully, the Auror simply wanted to fill me in on some long-awaited answers, which is more than I can say for Snape or Dumbledore. That being said, Mad-Eye Moody is another adult I neither trust, nor like.

You don't just grab a child, a Hogwarts student, and apparate them away somewhere without their permission, until you've decided your business with them is done. That definitely falls under the catagory of "Should be illegal if it isn't, but I'm pretty sure it is." Mad-Eye gets his title from having one electric blue artificial eye, something we have in common. But even if we could have bonded over that, he refused to engage in small-talk. He was gruff and all business. He had a point and he wanted to get to it. The point being, information. For both of us.

He steamrolled over me when I attempted to use my abilities in friendly conversation, and started interrogating me about Rakepick. I tried to be nice at first, I did. But Rakepick is a sensitive subject for me and I literally didn't know this man at all? So when he demanded answers, I stonewalled him. Told him to give a good reason why I should tell him anything, and perhaps I would. He didn't like that. But he could see that I wasn't intimidated so he offered a deal - answers for answers. I agreed, and told him about Rakepick's allegiance to R, gave him the general scope. Kept a few things to myself too. Moody then returned the favor.

I now know far more than I used to. Turns out we've been wrong the whole time - R isn't one person at all. R is a collective, an organization pursuing some form of greater magic and power. Unrelated to the Death Eaters, but just as nefarious if not moreso. This cabal operates worldwide, and Hogwarts isn't the only school with hidden vaults and secrets. That being said, R does have one witch or wizard that functions as a director of sorts. Someone who everyone else defers to. The big boss.

I know all this because Moody took it upon himself to induct me into his investigation, turning me into some kind of informant without asking first. Seriously, an Auror straight up kidnapped me and I'm still angry about it. Gave me all this secret information before forbidding me to share it with anyone else. After all, it's classified. I'm not joking, he refused to take me back to Hogwarts until I promised to keep my mouth shut. He also told me we'd be back in touch. If you were wondering, he didn't ask if I was okay with that, either. He just informed me that it was happening. So against my better judgment, I conceded and gave him my word...

...and proceeded to tell Rowan the second I got back. As if I would ever keep my friends in the dark. Bite me, Moody. Promises made under duress don't count, as far as I'm concerned. My honor is intact. If you wanted your precious classified information to stay classified, then you shouldn't have shared it with the teenager you abducted. Part of me wants to ask the staff about retaliating against the Ministry, and making sure Moody doesn't try this again...but on the other hand, Dumbledore would probably condone the whole thing because he's Dumbledore. I wouldn't be surprised if Moody is reporting to him. In any case, so long as he's offering information, I might as well take it. Let him think he can trust me.

But that was last year. This is sixth year. I'm an N.E.W.T. now. Passed most of my O.W.Ls...most. Snape doesn't accept anything less than the best, so I'm out of Potions. Same goes for Herbology. So much for being a Healer, right? Yet I passed History of Magic and even more surprisingly, Transfiguration. I made it through with an Acceptable, but I also got a ton of bonus points from showing off Cat-Luca. Well it was either that or the fact that the Proctor was spying on me and Tulip hit the roof about it. Didn't expect her to get so angry, but she filled his trousers with frog-spawn soap and reminded him that her parents also work in the Ministry, and at a far higher rank than him. Low-key threatening his job, which was pretty wicked actually, and I can't say I minded. As per usual with Tulip, I shouldn't have approved, but mayhem only makes her all the more attractive. Mum, when you meet her, you'll see how much trouble I'm in.

But the chaos that unifies us has turned it's direction elsewhere. Merula Snyde, who once turned her wand on me at every opportunity, who cuddled against me most nights last year...has now officially withdrawn from being in a relationship with me or with Tulip. God, I'm so worried about her. Lately, all she talks about is killing Rakepick. Merula and I know better though, she isn't really angry - she's hurting. But she'll never admit that, not even to herself. Lashing out at Tulip for being right about Rakepick, even though Tulip hasn't once said "I told you so." It's very clear that she'd rather have been wrong.

Merula isn't the only one on my mind, however. Maybe Gail's death has caused me to always sub-consciously project, or maybe I was always meant be be an older sibling, not a younger one. Because as much as I'm furious with Jacob right now, and hating being the youngest...I also find myself continuing to care for the people around me. Ben, who's my age and has no siblings. Beatrice, who already has an older sister but refuses to engage with her. Those cases have been dicey.

Again and again, I have to show up and pull Ben out of dangerous situations that he’s gotten himself into, usually at Knockturn Alley. I better learn how to apparate soon, because Floo Powder can get a bit tedious. But every time I wrench Ben away from roughing up some shady character or trying to trade dark artefacts, he actually gets mad at me. Is this how it feels to be a parent? The boy who used to be afraid of everything now fears nothing, and it feels as though there’s nothing I can say to get through to him. What’s worse is that I know he’s responding to trauma, but like Merula, he doesn’t want to hear that when I tell him. He’s redubbed himself “New” Ben and I don’t like New Ben at all. I want my friend back. Sure, we’re still “friends” but he hates it when I interfere. The same goes for Merula. She and I aren’t rivals anymore – we’re still technically allies, but there doesn’t seem to be any affection left and her attitude is very “don’t get in my way.” I miss the way she used to smile…

But perhaps the worst case is Beatrice Haywood, the younger sister of Penny, one of my dearest friends. Poor kid spent most of last year trapped in a painting, and who knows how that would affect a person? Well sadly, it seems to have affected her in a manner similar to that of Ben. She’s started hanging out with Ismelda Murk, who is…okay, pretty much harmless actually, but definitely not the best influence. I don’t want Beatrice absorbing any anti-muggle sentiment, especially since she’s Half-Blood and has Muggles in her family. But she’s become so jaded this year, refusing to use the nickname “Bea” anymore, wanting Penny to leave her alone, and…Mum, she went goth.

The first time I saw her this year, I dropped my bag and just gaped. She rolled her eyes at me, just like how Ismelda might have done. Beatrice doesn’t get what the big deal is about her adopting a new style – and fine, the style isn’t really the problem anyway. It’s taken some getting used to, but Beatrice clearly wants to define herself as separate from being just like her sister. Throw in some Ismelda in there, and you’ve got a strange mix. But she’s still Penny’s sister. She’s still the girl who made me a stuffed puffskein, which Mitten sleeps with every night that she’s not cuddled up to Bitten. Beatrice Haywood is my friend, even if she doesn’t want friends right now. She can hang out with Ismelda if she wants. She can be goth if she wants.

What she can’t start doing, is skiving off classes and missing makeup exams.

Since she was absent most of the previous year, there was a very good chance that she’d have to repeat her first year. But the staff, and Merlin help me that I’m actually defending them, were willing to let her take some make-up exams for the material she missed, to ensure that wasn’t necessary. And Beatrice has been skiving off them. She just doesn’t care about any of it, and has been vocally critical of Hogwarts itself. To which I sympathize, but not to the point of her messing up her own life. Then again, in that respect, I can’t exactly talk…I did lose an eye four years ago, entirely because of my tendency to mess up my own life. Still…

On top of investigating R and the final vault, on top of tracking Rakepick and Jacob, this is what I’ve had to deal with. If anything, Beatrice attitude almost reminds me of the way Jacob behaved following Dad’s death. When I had to break up an argument between her and Penny in the Artefact Room, it brought me all the way back to eight years ago when I was resolving conflicts between Jacob and you. Right down to feeling as though I had to side with someone, because nobody ever listens to neutral parties. Mum, it may sound odd, but I defended Beatrice. I could tell that it broke Penny’s heart a little, but it needed to be done. Penny just wants things to go back to normal, and Merlin, so do I…but things don’t ever go back to normal. They change into a new normal and we learn to cope with that. What’s more, I really think Beatrice appreciated having someone from Penny’s circle appearing to listen to her and respect her opinion. Now that I’ve earned a small level of trust, she might listen to me more when I point out the fallacies.

Plus, it’s difficult not to empathize with Beatrice and Ismelda. They both have older siblings with whom there’s a contentious relationship. Beatrice in particular, has a sibling who thinks they know what’s best for everyone, including their younger sibling, and bloody hell Jacob, I am so angry with you. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. If he gets himself killed by Rakepick, I’ll likely never know. I swear, when all this is over, he’s getting punched in the face. I’m not a violent person Mum, you know that I’m not. But I have my limits. Maybe this is something I can use to reach out to Beatrice.

Having reassured Penny and Skye, and waited for them to fall asleep, for everyone to fall asleep, I transformed into my cat form that doesn’t look at all like Bitten no matter what everyone else keeps saying. Penny told me that she’s caught Beatrice sneaking out at night before, so I trot into the Common Room of the Hufflepuff Basement, curl up on an armchair, and wait. Sure enough, Beatrice descends about an hour later. Without all that make-up and eye-shadow, she almost looks like her old self again. But there’s a twinkle that used to be in her eyes that just isn’t there anymore.

Beatrice stops in place, eyeing me from the doorway to the dormitories. I can’t tell if she’s suspicious of who I really am. I’m curled up with my eyes closed, relaxing. It’s not as though I’m on guard. So while she might assume that I’m here to keep watch and make sure she doesn’t sneak out, I like to think I’ve done a good job of appearing to be otherwise. Slowly approaching, Beatrice crouches by the armchair, slowly reaching an arm out. Starting to pet me…she already knows I’m an Animagus, but perhaps she isn’t certain if this is a real cat. Meanwhile, I just start purring. It’s practically an instinct when you’re being pet.

Beatrice gives me an uncertain gaze. “…Luca?”

Time for honesty. I’m not about to lie or mislead Beatrice right now, she doesn’t need that sort of thing. So at her voicing my name, I tilt my head up. “Arow?”

She seems relieved, exhaling and smirking to herself as she shuts her eyes. “Were you waiting for me?” Of course, I can’t really give a definitive answer to that right now, and I’m not altogether sure if that’s something I’d like to admit, but I did say I’d be honest.

“Arow…” I lightly nip at her hand, before rolling over again. Beatrice sighs.

“Look, this is getting stupid. I can’t tell if you’re actually a cat or not.” So I get up, leap down from the armchair and trot over to the table. In another moment, I’ve turned back into a human. Beatrice rolls her eyes. “Nice trick, but it’s going to take more than Pet Fever to keep me imprisoned here.” She scoffs.

I glance up at her, ruffling my hair back into place. God, it’s way too long. It’s always been long but now things are starting to get out of hand. “What did you just say?” She stares at me, and I frown with curiosity. “Pet…fever? Where did you hear that phrase?”

She sighs, now moving to occupy the armchair that Cat-Luca vacated. Despite insisting that I wasn’t going to stop her from leaving, she’s gotten comfortable. “I used to read all of Penny’s letters over her shoulder. That was how I first learned about you. Pet Fever is what Mitten uses to get away with everything, right?”

I chuckle slightly. “Yeah, she’s a scampy one.” I pull myself up and sit down on the nearby couch. “What are you doing up so late, Beatrice?” Mentally reminding myself to never use her old nickname. She hates it now.

Beatrice snorts. “You can talk.” Of course, I’m awake too, and I’ve snuck out of this basement time and again, for various adventures.

Rolling my shoulders slightly, I let my head rest against the cushion. “Yeah, when I was younger I thought it was a great idea to give up everything, and I mean everything, for the Cursed Vaults. For my brother. I’m glad I rescued him, but I don’t know if it was worth it.”

“Probably wasn’t.” Beatrice yawns. “If he threw his life away for the Vaults, why didn’t you learn from his example?”

“I don’t know, maybe because in second-year, I thought I knew everything.” I say in a reflective tone, but what I’m getting at is crystal clear and Beatrice just glares at me.

“I thought you said you understood what I was going through. And now here you are, Penny’s little messenger, to try and talk me back-“

“Penny didn’t send me, and I do understand. Which is why I’m trying to help you if I can, because it’s rough. You don’t have to accept my help. Trauma happens, it changes us. But don’t lose control of your life.”

“I’m just fine, I’m in complete control. I’m doing what I want to, isn’t that enough?”

I lean forward to look at her. “Beatrice, think of it this way. You’re stuck here for five years, no matter what. You can’t legally drop out until you’re seventeen. Wouldn’t you rather stay in the same classes as your friends? Wouldn’t you rather get your O.W.L.s? As long as you’re here anyway, use the opportunities. Better than leaving in five years with nothing to show for it.”

I watch her as I push my hair back again, trying to gauge her reaction, but she’s expressionless. So I continue. “Look, you’re preaching to the choir. I’m no fan of this school either. The staff are corrupt and everywhere you turn, something’s trying to kill you. The sooner we get out, the better. But trust me when I tell you that the friends you make will save your life. Perhaps literally.”

Beatrice stares forward at the wall for several seconds, looking like she wants to say something but keeps holding it back. At last, she stands up. “I don’t need friends. I just need to figure this out on my own, and I don’t care about opportunities. I’ll make my own way.”

I stand up too. “You really want to be surrounded by eleven year olds when you’re sixteen? Have to learn levitation for the fifth time in a row? Because I’ve tutored before, Beatrice. I’ve seen wizards who are at that point, and they’re bloody miserable. You don’t have to be someone you’re not. Just take the exams, you’ll regret it otherwise. I’m not saying this because I’m Penny’s friend. I’m saying it because I’m your friend. You know, if you’ll have me.”

I think that surprises her, when I say so. Because she says nothing in response at first. Glances at the floor and folds her arms. “I used to admire you, you know. I thought you and Penny were the coolest people in the world.”

“It’s interesting you should say that, because I admire you.” Okay, that definitely got her attention. She probably doesn’t know how shocked she looks. But I press on. “Penny and the others are used to being able to brush off this kind of stuff, but that’s not healthy. You should have seen Penny last year – the state she was in while you were missing…she just cares about you, Beatrice. Maybe too much…as weird as it sounds, you’re a lot better at dealing with this stuff than I am. I’ve always done what Penny does, and been in denial. It took me three years to admit to myself that Jacob was a flawed person. You’re more self-aware than I was four years ago, that’s for sure.”

Beatrice opens her mouth, and closes it. She sits back down in the armchair slowly. “Well, thanks…” She mumbles. “I mean, I don’t know if my way works for everyone …I just can’t stand other people trying to force their method of coping onto me. It just makes everything worse.”

I nod slowly. “I think it’s about extremes. Too much of what I’ve done in the past is unhealthy, because it represses feelings and makes things seem okay when they’re not.” Beatrice looks up at me, and as our eyes meet I can see the cynicism in her gaze. She’s waiting for the second half of my sentence. “But…embracing your feelings too much and letting your life go by while you cope with it will mess you up too.”

Suddenly, I feel overcome by an urge to make some sort of change. It isn’t just to communicate with Beatrice and help her identify with me, but that’s also part of it. The other thing is that, like her, I feel the need for some kind of change. So as Beatrice considers my words, I suddenly move over to the dormitory doorways. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. If you’re still here, then I’ll show you something cool.”

I took a chance that she might be willing to stick around and see what I was going to show her, not that it’s anything exciting but it’s important to me, or at least it is in this moment. I make my way into the bathroom and about ten minutes later, my shoulder-length hair is now about as short as Barnaby’s. It looks…eh, it looks okay. I just needed a change. After everything that’s happened, I’m not the same person I was when I first came to Hogwarts.

Moment of truth…yep, she’s still here. As I come back into the Common Room, Beatrice’ jaw drops and I resist the urge to laugh – is this how I looked when I saw her goth style? I just shrug with a smile. Beatrice slowly shakes her head. “Did you…did you seriously do that just to identify with me?”

I shrug again. “Partially, but I also just wanted to do it. I might have waited till tomorrow and had Tonks help me, but this way I can surprise everyone.”

Now Beatrice starts laughing to herself. “Fine, you know what? This was worth hanging around for…I s’pose you want me to go back to bed now?”

I look at her. “I mean, that’s probably best…but there’s an option behind door number two as well. I could help you study for your exams.”

“Goodnight, Luca.” She rolls her eyes again. She turned down the offer but I like to think she considered it for half a second first. As she heads back to her Dormitory, I turn back into Cat-Luca and curl up on the couch, contemplating everything. If I can get through to Beatrice, can I also get through to Ben…to Merula? I can only hope now.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you! They may not have gone goth, but I like to imagine that Jacob's Sibling changes their hair after the Underground Vault. 
> 
> Real talk though, this reflects my opinion on the game choices - Always take Beatrice' side, regardless of whether or not you agree with her point of view, because she feels like no one is listening to her. (Then again, after Year Five, hasn't Penny suffered enough? Poor dear...)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	28. The Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Cursed Vaults continue to cast a shadow over Hogwarts, Luca has a startling encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fictober, the twenty-eighth! Hope everyone is enjoying it thus-far! Today's Prompt is "Divination class" and what do you know, I managed to actually continue the story-line while still holding to the prompt. When was the last time I managed that? 
> 
> By all means, let me know your thoughts!

** _October 7th, 1989_ **

Dear Mum,

Why does everyone have to be so frustrating? Why do all my friends have to have problems that I can’t fix? Is that just the human condition? Ben is getting himself into more and more danger – it’s barely been a month and I’ve already had to duel someone in Knockturn Alley to keep him out of danger. No, it’s worse than that – I literally had to stun him to keep him from getting involved. Boy did he hate me for that. I mean, I’d hate me too if it was the Hogwarts staff trying to interfere with my life again, but Ben…I just don’t think he knows what he’s getting himself into. I felt comfortable taking him on Cursed Vault adventures in the past, because he was under our protection and it seemed like they were helping him overcome his fears. But there’s such a thing as going too far in the opposite extreme, and I just don’t know what I’m going to do with him now. How I can still protect him if he’s got this much of a death wish.

The situation with Merula isn’t any better. Actually, it’s worse. She won’t talk to Tulip at all, and anytime she talks to me she’s just as prickly as ever, and she’ll only discuss Rakepick or the Cursed Vaults. But things have taken a secondary turn for the worse that I still don’t even know how to process. But to explain that, I need to fill you in a more crucial bit of news: I saw Jacob again. And it wasn’t any easier than the first time.

Among other things, he insisted I duel him to test my strength – as if I didn’t just overpower a dragon a few months ago. Look, I know I used to be rubbish at dueling, but if there’s one thing Rakepick did for me, it was help me change that. Could I beat Jacob? I’ll never know, he called off the bout very quickly. Can’t fathom what it was he was trying to accomplish, but he once again moved so quickly and refused to answer any questions that I posed to him. Claiming that he couldn’t work with me because I didn’t trust him – really, really not okay with the guilt-tripping there. That was when I finally burst out, not caring if Merula was next to me.

“Why would I trust you, exactly? You obliviated me! You don’t have the faintest idea of how much that’s affected me, do you? Why should I trust you at all until you tell me what happened that day?”

Jacob had his back to me when I yelled all this, and he didn’t turn around. “Sorry Pip, but I wiped your memory for a reason. There are things about the Vaults you’re just not ready to know. Maybe someday.”

Oh hell, that made me angrier. Who is he to decide what I’m ready to know or not know? It almost sounded like something Dumbledore would have said. Before I could really compose a counter-argument, he had already disapparated. I found Jacob again, and he left again. Mum, do you suppose I have abandonment issues? I might. I know Merula has them. Speaking of her, she dropped a cruel comment about my not being able to hang onto Jacob, but it was at least honest, and then…

Then she all but openly expressed interest in Jacob. As in, she’s starting to fancy him. Merula…fancies Jacob. And I can’t really process this entirely. I don’t know how I feel about it, all I know is that I don’t like it one bit. I mean, Tulip and Merula and I were always in a poly-amorous relationship. Fancying more than one person was part of the deal. And we agreed from day one that attraction to other people (Tulip admitted to having a very slight crush on Tonks) was fine as long as we were all honest about it, but nothing ever disrupted the trio we had formed. Until Merula left. 

It’s not as though I have any right to complain. She isn’t even in our relationship anymore, like she told us. But she was always the one who was the least comfortable with the whole non-monogamous state of things. She doesn’t like sharing, but she wanted both of us, so it was all rather contrary. In the end she seemed to accept it, but now she just wants to do things alone, I suppose. But…not so alone that she isn’t hoping Jacob will notice her. Merlin’s beard, he’s like, in his twenties now, and he barely talked to her. Again, I know I shouldn’t be criticizing Merula for liking who she likes, but…the whole thing just made me feel miserable. If she wants to move on and see other people, I...I can support her, I guess, but...

Why did it have to be _him? _

In other news, I’m now taking Divination. Took bending a few rules to allow that, since I never obtained the O.W.L. This wasn’t my idea, but Sprout and Dumbledore feel as though it’s important for me to study so I can master my legilimency, and…blah blah blah, they make decisions about my life, blah blah. More of the same. It could be worse. Professor Trelawney is an absolute fake and a drama queen, but at least I’ve got another class with Talbott and Chiara. Why they chose to pursue this class beyond fifth year is beyond me, but at least I get to see them more often. Although Trelawney seems way too interested in me, keeps making vague statements about how death is following me. Which according to Chiara, is just who she is. She does it every year, supposedly. I’m not that worried – the Red Cloaks kept threatening that one of my friends would die last year, and no one did. Nor will anyone, if I have anything to say about it. 

That said, the Divination classroom has far too much incense and isn’t usually very well lit. So it’s even easier to fall asleep in than History of Magic. In that class, I normally just self-educate, reading my textbook and taking notes until the bell. But in Divination, when we’re learning things from crystal balls and studying Xylomancy…stuff that I tend to see as entirely useless, I just get so sleepy. The only reason I’m even here is legilimency, which is a unit we’re not going to cover until Spring. Why couldn’t I just start in the Spring Term? Search me. Probably one of Dumbledore’s schemes.

At the end of class one day, I feel someone shove my arm to awaken me. Normally, it’s Talbott, but as I blink awake and rub my eye, I’m surprised to see Beatrice standing there, in all her goth get-up. “Wha…?” For a split second I wonder if I slept so long that another class came in, but Beatrice is a second-year, she wouldn’t even have this class yet.

“Oi, get up.” She folds her arms. “I’ve got one more make-up exam for Flying. Penny said you’d be here. She also said you’re good at showing people how to fly.” Of course, her sister is an actual Quidditch player, and her sister’s girlfriend is a literal Quidditch captain, but I don’t think Beatrice wants their help. She’d probably go to Ismelda, if Ismelda played Quidditch at all. As it stands, I’ve earned a slight amount of trust from the younger Haywood, so I suppose I was the easiest choice.

Standing up and brushing off my robes, I glance around the classroom. Exchange a glance with Chiara, who nods quietly before heading out. I promised Beatrice that I wouldn’t “report” to Penny about her, and I feel like it’s important to keep that promise, but I also promised Penny that I would stop Beatrice from getting into too much trouble. And you can bet that I’m keeping that promise. Thankfully, she’s been somewhat receptive to my advice. “Alright, then let’s get out of here, and-“

A loud growl from nearby startles us both. Trelawney is clutching at her chest and has sprawled partially onto the table. Beatrice and I glance at each other in fear. Is this some kind of curse she’s under? Or is it some kind of health attack? Beatrice stuffs her hands in her pockets. “Should we…should we get help?”

Before I can answer, Trelawney suddenly points at me, with a look of madness in her eyes. She’s always been one for dramatics, but I dunno…it doesn’t seem as though she’s faking anything this time. Or else she’s taking it way too seriously. Yet when she speaks, the voice is not hers. It’s as though some other entity has seized control of her body. Like when the Red Cloaks imperius’d Rowan and Ben.

_“You, child with one eye and no family…death surrounds you, it defines you. Death will be your undoing, and your answer. No longer alone, yet your understanding is fragmented. Death has already passed, betrayal is yet to come. The dragon will fly yet again. You will know your answer when it appears, but without it you are blind.”_

“Oi, Professor, what’s happened to you? You’re acting like a lunatic.” Beatrice calls out, and I almost wish she hadn’t, because now Trelawney turns her bloodshot gaze to the left, and advances on her.

_“Little girl lost…child that has seen the other world…you are the one they crave the most. Tread lightly, the danger has not passed for you. The danger Sliders face shall never pass. But you are so much more, ever-changing. You cannot even comprehend what has been done to you. Only by returning from whence you came, shall you know your answer. They are coming, Slider…coming for you.”_

By this point, I’ve placed myself between Beatrice and Trelawney. I don’t know if she’s physically dangerous right now, but what I do know is that I don’t like what Trelawney is saying to her. It definitely sounded like a threat, amid all the nonsense. They are coming for you? Who is they? I call out to Trelawney again, one hand subtly reaching into my robes for my silver lime wand, but as I call out to her to back off, Trelawney suddenly collapses on the floor. Not dead, just unconscious.

Beatrice and I exchange a glance, before we scoot. Swiftly making our way out of the Divination classroom. Down the ladder, down the corridor without a word, we put as much distance between ourselves and that woman as possible. Look, I know I said she was a fake, and maybe she still is. I don’t know. But whatever that was, it felt like more than just a basic act. She almost seemed to be frothing at the mouth by the time it was over. And while Trelawney does seem to be something of a drunk, I don’t think could fake that.

Once we’re on the ground floor, we finally start talking.

“So you think she was just screwing with us? Or had a bit too much sherry?” Beatrice shoves the doors open as we move into the courtyard for some fresh air. Crossing to sit down by the fountain.

“I’d like to believe that. But I don’t know. The only person who might know more is Dumbledore, but I wouldn’t trust him to give me an honest answer. The less he knows, the better.”

There’s a pause, and then Beatrice mutters, “I hate this school.”

Another pause. It’s awkward, because Trelawney spoke very personally about us both, and while it may have all been rubbish, I can’t just ignore the possibility that it’s more. Child with no family…yikes, that one hurts. If even crazy teachers are seeing it Mum, then surely you need to admit that we have a problem. But other than that, the bit about the dragon concerns me…I already faced it, didn’t I? There was more about death being my constant companion, blah blah blah. It’s Beatrice I’m worried about.

After a very long pause, I look at her. “So what’s a Slider? Ever heard of that before?”

She doesn’t answer me. She’s staring at something else. No, someone else. Looking forward at a figure crouched by the big tree. I remember that tree. I had to have Bill summon my wand from its branches once upon a time, long story. Beatrice gets up and moves over to the crouched girl. Curiously, I follow after, and as we get closer, my heart only sinks further and further into my stomach.

“Stone…” Beatrice and I whisper at the same time.

And she is. she’s a solid stone statue. That would be suspicious enough, since there haven’t been any child sized statues out in the courtyard for as long as I can remember. But this statue is horridly familiar, and Beatrice is the one to say it. Slowly reaching out to touch the statue, she whispers “Elora…”

I kneel down next to them, locating Elora’s glasses and gingerly picking them up. This isn’t a statue, Mum. It’s a real person frozen into rock. Elora is a second year hufflepuff, like Beatrice. I showed her around the school last year as a Prefect, but she and Beatrice must be roommates. No wonder I wasn't the first to recognize her.

“She’s cursed.” I realize quietly, holding up the glasses. When I squint, I see it again. That strange, violet hue of light that I’ve sometimes glimpsed around my Birthmark. What Dad called the Mark of Despair. It’s like my Blue Eye can sometimes detect residual magic from dark curses. There’s something going on here, and it can only mean one thing…the final Cursed Vault is active.

Beatrice looks very close to showing emotion, but just like Merula, she seems to repress it. “I told you.” She whispers softly. “I told you Hogwarts wasn’t safe. Not even for the youngest students. Maybe we should just run away. Go somewhere these curses can’t follow.” She chuckles mirthlessly.

I’m not sure what I can really do to comfort her at this point, and I’m hurting too. So I just lay a hand on her shoulder, which she tolerates. But before I can suggest we tell people about Elora, Snape finds us. We explain how we found Elora, but I hesitate to bring up Trelawney’s erratic behavior and cryptic words. There’s only one Professor I trust with that information. I’ll have to talk to him later.

Snape sends us both back to the Hufflepuff basement, but Beatrice doesn’t go, not that I’m really surprised. On the way back she meets up with Ismelda and bids me farewell. Like I said, Ismelda may not be the best influence, but she’s not overtly dangerous. So I know it’s best to pick my battles. I let her go, and make my way back to the Basement. We never got to practice Flying, but I suppose that will have to wait.

In the meantime, I need to debrief Rowan on everything that’s just happened. As soon as I find them sitting with Diego (really starting to wonder about those two) I make a brief jerking motion with my head, and we ascend to the Dormitory. I fill Rowan in, not just about Elora but about Trelawney as well.

Rowan stares at me. “Hold on, I thought Trelawney was a fraud. You’re telling me she had not one, but two Observations right in front of you?”

“Um…I think so?” I frown at Rowan, who starts to explain the terminology to me with an enormous answer, like they always do, but I love it.

“Observations. Mental magic is very wooly, very obscure, but some people have natural talent in it. Talent that can be passed down through generations. True Seers are exceptionally rare, but then again, so are Born-Legilimens. A Seer can foresee the future, through Visions, Predictions, Observations, or Condemnations.”

“Okay…and what do all of those do?”

“A vision can vary in how reliable it is, because you’re essentially seeing puzzle pieces of the future, but all without context. It’s difficult to explain, but you might foresee a child being born, and know for a fact that the child will grow up to be Minister of Magic, but not be able to see what they look like. Predictions are the most common, but also the hardest to interpret. Seers normally can’t recall making them, but people who hear Predictions are said never to forget them for as long as they live. They’re recorded in the Department of Mysteries.”

“Right, right…and the last two?”

Rowan gritted their teeth. “A condemnation is just…coordinates. Numbers. A date, an exact time, when something important is going to happen. Something terrible. A natural disaster, or a death. Several years ago, there was a new record, of about half a dozen Condemnations that all pointed to one night, Halloween. At first, nobody knew why…but then Harry Potter defeated You-Know-Who.” Rowan stares out the window, looking contemplative. “An Observation is more common, but I’ve never heard of a Seer making two at once.”

This is all rather interesting, I suppose, but pretty useless to people who aren’t Seers. I really don’t get why Divination is a full subject and not a specialized training program for people that need it. Regardless, I scoot closer to Rowan. “So what are they?”

“An Observation is a personal analysis of a specific soul, and their future. You know those Muggle fortune tellers? If someone were to make an observation about me back in first year, they might have told me that I’d have a near death experience with cursed ice, know what I mean?”

“But she didn’t say anything so specific. It was all vague.”

“Yeah, that’s the rub with Divination. Nothing is perfect. Condemnations are exact, but they come without context. Visions are exact, but again, no context. Observations and Predictions are the opposite…they give the context, but they don’t provide the crucial details to nail it down.”

There’s a pause, before I fall back onto the four-poster. “I hate divination.”

“I’m no fan either.” Rowan agreed with a quiet nod. There’s a pause for a few minutes, before I find myself sitting up again.

“So what’s a Slider?”

Rowan blinked slowly. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. It might have just been some kind of metaphor?”

I shake my head. “No, no, Trelawney said it twice. She said Beatrice wasn’t the only one, but that she was more than that. That someone was after her…if that was a real Observation, then Beatrice is still in danger.”

Rowan and I simply stare at each other. Why…why did it have to be Beatrice? Why did it have to be the one going through her “leave me alone” phase? Why does Ben keep charging into danger? Why does Merula have to fancy my brother? Mum, just get home, would you? I’m tired of facing all this and having barely any adults I can trust around.

\- Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, I discovered how much I like writing Beatrice, so don't be surprised if you see more of her. 
> 
> Fleshing out the lore of how Seer magic works! #Worldbuilding, am I right? (More like, Dumbledore explicitly tells Harry in the books that Trelawney has only ever given two Predictions, so I guess it would be #Loopholes.)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	29. Nothing but a Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they attempt to set Moody up, Luca deals with an unexpected relapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Today's Prompt is "Knockturn Alley." Alright! That means I can tell whatever story I want, and I just need to use a specific set piece! XD, another shoutout to @Cokebottlesanddenim from Tumblr for these great prompts! 
> 
> Let's see how Luca handles their next encounter with Mad-Eye Moody...

** _November 16th, 1989_ **

Dear Mum,

The idea of pulling a long-con on Mad-Eye Moody gives me far more satisfaction than it really should. Perhaps I’m just glad to be on the other side for once. Normally it’s Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape who know everything, and keep me in the dark. If this is how the other half lives, then I’m starting to understand the sick pleasure behind it. Long story short, Tulip and I are waiting in Knockturn Alley. We don’t say a word to each other on the path way there, we don’t even arrive together, or at the same time. Moody told me in the letter to show up at five, but I anticipated him to arrive slightly earlier than that to spy on me. Which was why I was there before five. Tulip and I staged the whole thing, including my “discovering” her following me and sending her off.

Of course, she didn’t actually go anywhere. She ducked behind a nearby waste-bin and crouched low, almost resembling Dennis. This way, she can listen in, so I don’t have to fill her in on the meeting after the fact. She’s not the only one here, either. A very clever witch once told me to take advantage of how many friends I have, and that’s what I’m going to do. Jae and Tonks are also wandering the streets, with Tonks using her powers to masquerade as Jae’s parental figure. Talbott is perched on top of one of the buildings in his eagle form. You could say I’m taking necessary precautions. I mean hey, the man kidnapped me last time. I’ve earned this. I would have asked Ismelda, since this place is right up her alley – but Beatrice would have wanted to come too, and I can’t condone that.

Moody lumbers up to me, walking with a limp like he always does. Unfortunately, his suspicion is immediate. “Told you to come alone.”

“Yeah, and until you start paying me, I don’t see why I should take orders from you. Besides, what makes you think I brought anyone else?” I hold out my arms and turn around in place. “I didn’t even bring my cat, and believe me, that one was a battle.” As I say this, it gives me an idea. Merula could also get involved in this spy brigade, posing as Mitten. Of course, I’d have to get her on board with the idea first.

Moody shifts his head slightly. “Save it, Fawley. You were followed, and your little friend is just over there.” His blue eye suddenly swivels in place, rolling back in his head. Yikes, just the sight of that makes me queasy. But what’s even worse is that he’s standing right in front of the waste bins. In a moment of stark terror, I realize that he’s using the eye to see out of the back of his head. I…I never knew it could do that. I didn’t think to try. Biting my lip, I fall gracefully into plan B. Sure enough, when I squint, my magic eye can see through the waste bins too.

“Hey, Tulip, what gives?” I call out, and she shows herself, looking very cross.

“What gives is that you won’t tell me what’s going on. What’s this “sworn to secrecy” rubbish? I thought we told each other everything.” She fires back, scowling at me. Mum, your future daughter in law is going to set off dungbombs around the house, and you need to make peace with that. Because Tulip is playing her part splendidly, and I’ve never been more in love.

“You really want to know? Because this isn’t how I wanted you to find out.” I shoot back. Moody stiffens beside me, and I think he’s going to intervene, but as Tulip rests her hands on her hips, I carry on. “Tulip, your birthday is coming up, okay? Connect the dots for once - I’m not sneaking around, I’m not hiding anything you won’t find out about eventually. This is my grandad, for Merlin’s sake.”

Okay, the grandad thing was my own little jab at Moody. But in all honesty, I’m not sure how old he is. With a face so scarred and carved up, it can be difficult to tell. But he definitely passes for grandparent age. Just as we rehearsed, Tulip’s demeanor instantly changes.

“O-Oh…you’re…you’re Luca’s grandad? You’re the infamous Gail the Whale?” Sis, if you’re somehow seeing this from the great beyond, please excuse our little façade.

Moody seems to struggle for a moment, so I continue. “Duh. Remember how I told you my guardian angel got me this magic eye? He may look like a flayed shark, but he’s really a big softie, and he has connections. The kind of connections that are very useful when you’re gift-searching.” I add the last part quite pointedly.

Tulip looks very sheepish now, pushing a hand through her long red hair and staring at the copplestones below us. “Fine…come see me later then, okay? Sorry…” She mumbles, but loud enough for Moody to catch it, as she moves closer, giving me a brief hug and pecking my cheek. I wave to her, as she departs. We were prepared for Moody catching her, but now she’ll just have to hang close by and wait for the meeting to be over.

Moody finally chuckles, able to gauge what the situation was, and he seemingly bought it. Seizing my arm, he grunts, “Don’t ever call me grandad again. Now come on, let’s walk. There’s a lot to discuss.” So I follow him down the road, and he fills me in. Tonks will have ducked into a nearby shop, probably Borgin and Burkes, to window-shop for a while. Ideally find some of the less-than-horrific merchandise that might be useful. Meanwhile, I report to Moody about Rakepick’s dark artefacts, and he spills more beans.

R isn’t just seeking power or glory, Mum. They’ve got some kind of plan for it. They aren’t just shady Curse-Breakers who got greedy. More likely, they’re utilizing Curse-Breakers as pawns to access all the different Cursed Vaults. Which means Rakepick is just that, a pawn. But I find that very hard to believe. She’s surprised me before, but Rakepick isn’t someone that I could ever see being used like that, and tolerating it. Even though Jacob hasn’t engaged with me at all, I have found old notes from R, addressed to him. He was definitely in league with them at one point, but I suppose he must have worked out what was really going on, and defected.

There’s also Duncan Ashe, who has shut down and refused to talk to me at all, and the mysterious Olivia Greene. I don’t know much about her, but she and Duncan were being trained by R at around the same time Jacob was. I’m able to give these names to Moody, in exchange for more information about the Director. It’s unclear whether they started R themselves, of if they’ve simply succeeded the previous boss, but based on the information Moody has intercepted, all the higher-ups communicate in code. Namely, the Black Quills. That isn’t really new information. What is new, is the coral key.

Moody pats his pocket, grunting as he comes to rest on his walking stick. “The Coral Key is needed to open the Final Vault. Don’t get any ideas, kid. So long as it stays with me, R will never be able to access Hogwarts’ last Vault. We’ve been trying to destroy the key, but so far, no good. It’s enchanted well.”

After that, he disapparates, and my team re-groups. So it turns out Moody has the Coral Key…which sounds horribly familiar. I feel like Rakepick mentioned it at some point, but I just can’t remember…which could be my own ineptitude, or my mental problems flaring up again. But even if Rakepick somehow had the key at some point, Moody’s got it now, and he already expects me to come after it. The long con just became twice as important to uphold. And I have another idea, misdirection. Rakepick’s Dark Artefacts are being stored at the Ministry. I need to spread a rumor that I’m going to try and break in. Get Moody to focus on that.

“That Auror was smashing, did you see ‘im?” Tonks is laughing, and now that the coast is clear, changing back into her typical shape. “He looked like a haunted old tree. Think you could introduce us, Luca?”

I just roll my eyes, reminding myself of Merula and Beatrice. “At some point, maybe, but for right now, we need to get back to school before we’re missed. Not all of us can apparate yet.” I still can’t, not till December when I can take the test. “Just leave one at a time, and don’t draw too much attention.”

“Tulip!”

We stop, and start to turn around. Talbott just starts shaking his head. I don’t blame him. Standing across from us is Merula. Tonks, Jae, and Talbott immediately clear off, but Tulip and I remain as Merula approaches us. We don’t say anything. There really isn’t anything we can think to say…before Merula reaches out, and beckons both of us to do the same. “You left these in my dormitory, and it’s getting cluttered.” She drops a glass sphere into my hand and places a blue and bronze scarf into both of Tulip’s hands.

God, it’s my Remembrall. I used to carry this thing around all the time but I literally never checked it because it was so useless. Every single moment that I carried it, the thing was red as a tomato – probably because I still can’t remember the day that Jacob ran off. And sure enough, the moment it touches my palm, the red smoke reappears. I’m not even sure why I haven’t chucked this thing - sentimental value, perhaps? Ironically, I don't even remember how I got it. Did you give it to me? Maybe I found it somewhere in the house...

Tulip bites her lip. She looks pained. When Merula left the relationship, it seemed to affect her even more than me. I want to hold her. But I don’t want to exclude Merula, either. Why can’t she just cuddle us both like she used to? Tulip was equally dismayed to learn about Merula’s crush on Jacob, which has only gotten more intense. It might be because the only time she’s ever seen him was the horrible, twisted Boggart version, but I don’t think Tulip is Jacob’s biggest fan. But that’s fine. At the moment, neither am I.

I decide to speak up, since Tulip doesn’t seem able to right now. “Merula, this is stupid. We care about you. And you care about us. You’re just pushing everyone away because you’re in pain. But that’s only going to make it hurt worse.

“Stuff it Luca, I can handle Rakepick and R on my own.”

“No, you really can’t. Whatever you might think of us right now, you need to trust us. I’m telling you – R is too dangerous to challenge alone. We’re stronger as a team.” Merula is one of the people who still doesn’t know about the information I got from Moody. I’ve neglected to share it with her, or with Ben. Given their current states of mind, I don’t know what they would do with such information and I wouldn’t like to find out.

“Too dangerous for you, maybe. But not for the best witch in Hogwarts. Who knows, maybe I’ll find people to work with down the line, but for right now-“

“People like Jacob?” It’s the first time Tulip has spoken, and she spits the words out like poison. Merula falters.

“Who…whoever I can use to get the job done. What do you care anyway, huh?”

“I care because I love you! Are you blind?” Tulip finally shouts, losing control. My heart is breaking. Unlike before, this breakdown is genuine. Tulip storms away, and I give Merula one last, sad look, before I follow. That’s the terrible thing about all this. Maybe Merula was hoping I would hang back and talk to her, and since I didn’t, she’s going to feel as though I “chose” Tulip. But that’s not how this whole polyamory thing is supposed to work. The whole point is that you don’t “choose.” Maybe Merula just doesn’t have the temperament for this sort of thing…no, she was fine with it last year. This is her trauma talking.

While I’m trying to catch up to Tulip, I get lost in the maze of Knockturn Alley, trying to avoid suspicious looking characters and locate my favorite source of trouble. As I move into an alleyway, I’m suddenly pierced by a loud scream. A scream that I’ve heard before, and Mum, it cuts through me like a knife.

Merula is sprawled on her back, writhing and twitching at my feel, letting out harsh screams that make me feel like I’m dying. “No-“ I gasp, shaking in place, trying to reach out for her, my brain having gone blank with shock.

“Luca, no!” Someone calls in the distance, and half a second before I crouch beside Merula…I realize that the person calling to me from far away…also sounds just like her. But in another second, the Merula on the ground launches herself upward and grabs onto my collar. Reality shifts and blurs and somehow, I know I’m no longer truly conscious. Everything is falling through screaming fragments, and I’m back in that strange un-existing zone that I’ve been in once before.

Merula is still sobbing on the ground, pleading with me in-discernibly. “W-why…why? Luca, please make it stop! Don’t let them hurt me anymore! It never stops, they never go away….make them stop, please!!” The agony in her tone sounds so completely real that it throws me off, but unfortunately for the creature at my feet, I’ve been to this realm before. Taking out my wand, I shakily point it at her.

“_R-Ridikulus_!”

Crack. The spell failed, but the Boggart changed again. I guess my Boggart isn’t Jacob anymore. But in another moment, it’s turned into Tulip, shivering on the ground, curled up into a ball, convulsing just as Merula did. “Luca…I’m all alone. I’m so afraid. Everyone is leaving… Do I deserve it? Is it my punishment? Maybe you should leave too.…” No, no no…I cast Riddikulus again.

Rowan beats their fists on the floor, doubled over and crying out in pain. Are all of them being tortured? “Luca, how could you? I was your first friend, your best friend, and you thought I was the enemy. You shut me out, Luca! Don’t you get it? I have no one without you! Without you I’ll just-

Crack. Jae is on the floor, asking how I could have lost Jacob. Crack, Penny is screaming about Beatrice. Crack. Beatrice herself is convulsing, and talking about how she just walks to die….I keep trying the spell again and again, before it turns into Charlie. “Maybe it is better to just give up…run away somewhere, work with dragons…see Welshie. Why even try anymore? Just finish what’s already over…”

My emotional state shifts abruptly. Something about this last form of the Boggart...awakens a more feral reaction from me. I couldn't tell you why, I can't explain it, but...but I hate, I _hate_ what Charlie just said. It makes my blood boil. Almost out of instinct, I aim a kick to his head. Maybe I affected the Boggart’s hold on my brain, or maybe it was all just psychedelic to begin with. But when I kick Charlie, my awareness seems to implode.

All of a sudden, I’m having another out of body experience. It isn’t Charlie that I’ve kicked in the face, it’s…me. It’s Luca Fawley, but younger. Much younger. Hair is long, both eyes are brown. The little Luca is sobbing violently on the floor, just like the others were, spread onto their back, looking like they just can’t take it. Oh yeah, sounds like me…a little. The pain I hear in their tone is…unimaginable. Where is this coming from? I never felt…I never felt pain like this before.

“No…_noo_….no no…how could….he can’t…this can’t be real…how could you do that….how could…” The words, coming from own voice, my younger voice, are sending pulses of emotion through me that I can’t articulate. I’m watching myself, in my sweet little unicorn pajamas that no longer fit, writhing and convulsing on the floor, trying to get words out. “Had to end…had to end….what was already….over….no! No no….Jacob, _come back_. Come back. Please….” The voice is pitiful. Like a wounded animal.

“Luca.” This time, I’m the one speaking. Me. Only, it isn’t my voice. What’s truly insane is that in this particular moment, I recognize the voice that comes from my lips. But I can’t place from where. Have I forgotten Jacob’s voice? “Luca, listen to me. This isn’t real.” And it isn’t. This is just a false vision, created by a dark creature. The Boggart is trying to get into my head, that’s all. In a way, they were right. “Time to end what was already over. Now get out my face…Riddikulus!”

Yet, when I say the incantation, I could almost swear my lips move oddly…as though I’m pronouncing a completely different spell. Nevertheless, it works. I’m thrown back into reality, out of the Boggart dimension or whatever the bloody hell that place is. Merula is watching from afar, looking thunderstruck. But as I struggle to lift my head, she places herself between me and the Boggart…in that moment, using the magic eye, I can see the Boggart for what it truly is…or isn’t. Behind the disguises, there’s nothing there. It has no true shape at all. The Boggart is…nothing more than a mirror.

A mirror that quickly assumes a familiar shape when confronted by Merula. I stiffen, despite knowing that the Rakepick who just appeared is nothing more than an illusion. Merula doesn’t seem able to face it, and I’m still recovering from my ordeal. It suddenly occurs to me that it may very well have been one of my mental breakdowns. That…was the Boggart I faced, right? Did it really happen? Either way, Merula is staring it down now, and I’m not fully confident she could escape the Boggart’s grasp if it gets a hold of her. Just need to get up…

“_Riddikulus_!”

Oh thank Merlin, Tulip is here to rescue us. She’s quick to recruit Merula to help me get up…since I for some reason seem to currently lack physical strength. I don’t understand it either Mum, but I can’t stand when prompted to. Possibly a side-effect of whatever was done to me, but it’s not serious. I’m sure I’ll walk again soon. I’ve had mental breaks before, and I always bounce back.

Yet as they continue to carry me, it becomes clear that I’m little more than dead weight. Tulip is able to apparate me back to the castle, even though she doesn’t have a license, we weren’t sure if Floo Powder was the best idea in my current condition. As she carries me closer, into entering the grounds…I only start to feel even weaker. To the point where my arms, draped around Tulip, slacken. I slide right out of her grip and slump onto the grass. Funny, I never decided to do that.

“Luca!” Tulip looks frantic now. “Help, someone…please! Please get help!”

On the bright side, I do see some figures moving toward her as I gradually black out. Mum…it just occurs to me that I haven’t written to you about one of my mental breaks before. Rest assured, they’re pretty crazy…but this one seems to be particularly bad. I’ll be okay though….I think.

Love, Luca 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I've pretty much gone off the rails at this point. We're running out of canon material to work with, since the game's story hasn't been entirely released. Hence, I'm cheating a lot - Moody now has the Coral Key, supposedly. 
> 
> Of course, some of it is just me being me. I think breaking into the Ministry is dumb, so in my story, it's a just a ruse. Etc. 
> 
> While it isn't technically canon, I am convinced that things like Boggarts (and Erised visions) can definitely change. People change, right? Luca used to have much deeper anxiety about Jacob, but now they've accepted his flaws. Merula getting tortured (plus the rest of their friends) seems like a pretty appropriate Boggart after Y5CH30. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	30. Making it Personal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca seeks a solution to their mental condition, only to learn that the Curse has spread further and further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, everyone, one day away from the end! (Of Fictober, that is. Remembrance will likely continue in some fashion even afterward.) 
> 
> Today's Prompt is "The Statue Curse." so that should be fun! Full disclosure, we have now surpassed the content that is currently released for Hogwarts Mystery, so we're officially in full fanfic territory now. Let's begin!

December 1st, 1989

Dear Mum,

I spend the next few days in the hospital wing. At this point, they should probably let me have my own bed here. It’s never a fun time, because I have to sleep alone ,and I’ve grown rather accustomed to not doing that. Even this summer, I had at least one of my friends staying over each night. I don’t know if you would have approved, but hey, you weren’t there to forbid it – yes, I’m still upset about that.

In any case, I don’t know what happened to me. Don’t know why I lost the movement in my legs. Maybe it’s that, or maybe she saw my Boggart, but something has caused Merula to be less aggressive toward me. I haven’t seen her interact with Tulip, but I certainly hope the argument helps Merula stop icing out someone who hasn’t done anything. Maybe it has. Maybe it will. In either caser, I think she’s come around to me, just slightly. For the past two nights, a white cat has crept into my bed after hours and cuddled me, helping me go to sleep. Though it was Mitten at first, but then I spied her in the corner of the room, in her yin-yang position with Bitten. So it was a little more ambiguous.

It takes about a week for me to re-learn how to walk, and unfortunately, I can’t remember a thing about what happened after Tulip and I argued with Merula. Tulip has to fill me in, about my changed Boggart, and about how I collapsed after facing it. Turns out, I had another mind break. But I can’t recall anything I saw while I was in there. My brain is fighting, straining to break through the Memory Charm…but this has happened before. I wonder if Flitwick might be able to help me remove the charm. He once taught Talbott and I how to cast them, after all.

That’ll have to wait, though. As soon as I’m released from the Hospital Wing, Rowan and Ben find me. Rowan has been doing more research and Ben pretty much declared himself my bodyguard after the most recent incident, so he’s following me around. Insists that I’ve been protecting him for six years, and now it’s his turn to protect me. He really won’t take no for an answer, but Rowan’s glance tells me that what they need to discuss is private. So ultimately Rowan and I have to go back to the Hufflepuff Basement. Even that doesn’t deter him, he just follows us right in. But I have another idea. Grabbing Rowan’s hand, and ignoring the uncertainty they voice, I bring them into the Girl’s Dormitory. But when Ben tries to follow, he can’t climb the stairs. Now he’s shouting insults at me…I miss old Ben.

Knocking on the sixth year dormitory door, no one answers, so we slip our way in. It probably won’t be a great look if we’re caught in here alone, but everyone who sleeps in here already trusts us, and most people are going to be more distracted by the renegade Gryffindor downstairs. I turn to look at Rowan. “So, what did you find?”

“Sliders.” Rowan says simply. “The staff are doing research on them too. And apparently, so was Rakepick.” Rowan throws a file down onto Penny’s bed.

I stare at them, before moving to open it. “How did you-?”

“Asked McGonagall for help on a theory. Swiped this when she wasn’t looking. If I’m found out, that’s the end of my career, so you’re welcome.” Rowan says in a slightly huffy voice. Not that I blame them. Shaking my head as I reflect on how little I deserve such friendship, I look through the file.

“It says that there are at least a dozen Sliders at the school. And each one…went into a Portrait last year….wait, here it is.” I sift through scraps of parchment. “Sliders are travelers…people who have seen-“ I break off. But Rowan and I both read the final words. People who have seen other worlds. So Trelawney wasn’t just in a state of alcoholic psychosis. That was either a cryptic warning, or she actually had an Observation about Beatrice. But what other worlds? Are there other worlds out there?”

Rowan is thinking along the same lines. “Human beings aren’t normally able to enter portraits. There are places we can never go, spaces we can’t occupy with how we exist and comprehend our own existence. It’s hard to wrap your head around, but they study this stuff in the Department of Mysteries.”

“Might be worth it to visit that place.” I mutter, but I know it’s not going to happen. Breaking into the Ministry just isn’t feasible, as much as I want to stop anyone from stealing Rakepick’s dark artifacts. And as much as I want to learn what’s going on with Penny’s sister. “Doesn’t seem like the teachers know anything else…but Trelawney said Beatrice was something more than that. Like she was special beyond being a Slider.”

Rowan frowns. “Have you considered asking her? Or does she not remember?”

I shake my head. “Not a bit of it. I tested that already.” Mitten trots over and rubs herself against my leg. She spends half her time in here now, since I primarily slept in this room last year and Chiara spoils her more than anyone else. Even if she knows Mitten’s already gotten food, she’ll give in to the power of a strong “Mrow!”

I pick Mitten up in my arms and say goodbye to Rowan. Heading back into the Common Room, ready to subdue Ben with Mitten’s cuteness if he’s still there, but he isn’t. Penny is though, and I pass Mitten into her arms before heading out into the corridor. There’s something I’d like to do before I do anything else. It’s about time I talk to Flitwick.

I proceed to the Charms classroom, only to find it empty, and not at all set up for classes. Instead, there's a table placed in the center with a strange cracked basin on top of it. The basin itself is filled with an odd, silvery substance. For a brief moment I wonder how long I've been in the Hospital Wing. But Term can't have ended because you would be here to pick me up. Well, that's wishful thinking on my part. You still haven't come to see me.

Flitwick waddles out from behind his books. "Fawley!" He squeaks in surprise. Mum, have I ever mentioned how high his voice is? It's actually rather adorable, but I know better than to say so. "Fawley, I was just about to send for you...how did you know?" Flitwick gives me a somewhat concerned look. "I trust you aren't trying to peer into people's minds without their permission?"

"What? No. No Professor, of course not." And I really mean it. Since the Underground Vault, I don't know that I've used my powers in legilimency even once. It's just not a power that I care to have. While I may have turned lying into a kind of art, I still have some semblance of my integrity left behind. "I just got lucky, I suppose. I wanted to ask you...er, before that, actually," I'm simply too distracted. I hope I didn't come at a bad time, or intrude on some sort of personal moment. "What day is it? I thought it was Tuesday, but...it doesn't look like you have any classes?" I rub my temples slowly. At this point, our entire conversation could be a hallucination and I wouldn't be surprised. I'm a freaking mess, Mum.

Flitwick places his hands together, looking grim. "We had six new victims of the statue curse while you were in the hospital. It's simply too dangerous to hold classes at present. Ideally, we'll break the Curse before Term starts anew next year. We may need your help for that, Fawley."

I stare at him. "You're...asking for my help?" The Hogwarts staff want me to help break the curse, when they once gave me a year of detention for breaking another? You know what...this shouldn't surprise me anyone. Instead of getting indignant, the best thing to do is seize the opportunity. Because I'm going to break the Curse anyway, but that's not what I'm telling Flitwick. He'll hear my price. I love the man, but I really, properly need this, and let's be honest - his plea for help is coming from Dumbledore. I'd hate to spurn Flitwick, but I'm quite nonchalant about doing it to Dumbledore.

Flitwick seems to understand my skepticism. His expression looks pained. "For what it's worth, I don't approve of asking your help. Neither does Minerva. But…some of the staff are of the opinion that it’s about time we start recognizing your contributions, particularly since you don’t seem inclined to stop no matter what we do. You’ll be seventeen soon, and by that point, there will be almost nothing left we can do to contain you.”

This is why I like Flitwick, and have always enjoyed our relationship. He’s real with me in ways that no other teacher has ever been. I thought the same of Rakepick, and maybe I still do, but…for obvious reasons, Flitwick is the teacher I prefer. He’s directly telling me, in so many words, that very soon I’ll be too powerful for them to control, and so they’d rather work with me than against me. It feels good, strangely enough. Unless this is all a master-class manipulation, but surely Flitwick would never do that to me.

“Okay.” I respond, after a moment’s consideration. “Then I’ll help you. On one condition.” Flitwick raises his eyebrows. Is he really so surprised? Maybe I’ve just learned too much from Rakepick. “I’ve got a problem, sir. A problem with a charm. And you’re the Charms Master at Hogwarts. If anyone can solve this for me, it’s you.”

Suddenly, Flitwick’s face shifts to an expression of deep unease. “Luca-“

“Talbott Winger and I once came to you asking for help with learning Memory Charms…so you know how to cast them. You must know to remove them. Six years ago, a memory charm was placed on me, and I’ve been fighting in vain to break through it ever since. I don’t trust anyone else as much as you, to remove the enchantment. But if you won’t help me, I’ll have to ask one of my friends. None of them have the experience and discipline you do. So it should be you, right?” There was a time, Mum, when I might have felt sickened with myself for what I’m currently doing. It’s veiled under basic logic, but the veil is thin – I’m threatening him. My favorite teacher, a man who I honestly believe has always tried to look out for me…and I’m threatening him. But I don’t feel bad - this could be my chance to finally remember.

“Luca, listen to me.” Oh, he’s using my first name now. You know he’s serious if that’s going on. “I may be Charms Master of this school, but I wouldn’t trust even myself to attempt such magic on your mind. I don’t believe even Professor Dumbledore would take such a risk.” Yeah, and if he comes anywhere near my brain, there will be hell to pay. Flitwick, I’m okay with. Dumbledore? Hell no. Consent not given.

“Memory Charms don’t have a counter-curse, nothing so specific. If I knew what I was looking for, if I knew what was hidden inside your head, that would be different, but I don’t. I can’t agree to this, because I wouldn’t even know where to start. Please don’t do anything rash. Please don’t put your mental health at even greater risk.”

He’s so sincere. Oh god, Mum, I’m tearing up. I can feel my eyes burning. I take deep, rattled breaths in an attempt to control myself. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep getting one step away from the truth, and having the damn enchantment yank me back. It’s in there, Professor. The day I need to remember is in there. My mind can wander back to that day, but it’s so blurry…and when I try to discern it, there’s this unstoppable pressure that caves in on me. Doing everything it can to stop me from going any further. You’ve got to help me.”

“Luca, no. You may be turning seventeen this month, but legal adulthood is a concept that doesn’t truly reconcile with spiritual and physical growth. It will be a long time before you or your peers fully mature. You’re still far too young to attempt such magic on.” So…the younger you are, the more mind magic can screw with your development? Suddenly, my entire childhood makes so much sense. Damn you, Jacob. Damn you.

Flitwick suddenly glances at the cracked bowl, wherein the silvery contents are swirling like they’re alive. “What would you say…if I offered an alternative solution? This is a Pensieve. It allows witches and wizards to harness the immaterial – their own memories, and transcribe them onto the physical plane.”

I don’t really get it, but I think I’ve got the gist. Merlin’s Beard, teaching just comes naturally to him. Flitwick should be teaching Divination, in all honesty. Believe me Mum, there’s a difference between natural talent at a Subject, and the ability to teach said subject. Snape is a brilliant Potions Master, no one would deny that. But a great teacher? Not quite. Teaching is a skill unto itself. Slowly, I approach the basin, staring down. “So…that stuff is…memories?”

“Not yet. This Pensieve has just been filled. What you’re seeing is the default state, a magical residue graphed from thoughts, a base that will allow memories to sit.” Flitwick brandishes his wand, and presses it to his temple. “What you must do is recall the memory you wish to extrapolate, and…like-so.” He slowly tugs his wand away from his face, and a strand of that same silvery substance is loosely attached to his wand, almost like spider silk in the wind, before he taps his wand to the basin, letting it fall in.

Flitwick and I lean over in sync, peering down at the basin. The silvery residue is shifting, forming a face. A young face, that of a girl no older than sixteen, with hawk-like eyes and long red hair. My stomach gives a lurch. “That’s…that’s Rakepick. But she looks so young.”

Flitwick nods gravely. “I am sorry, Luca. I wanted to believe the best of Patricia Rakepick, and it seems I may have led you astray in the process.” Oh, the poor man. It’s not his fault. Rakepick betrayed all of us, including him. “Allow me to give you this, to make it up to you. Consider it an early Christmas present, to one of my most promising students. And before you ask, yes, Professor Dumbledore knows of this and he approves, but it was entirely my idea. So you may trust the pensieve, so long as you still trust me.”

This isn’t like when Jacob asked me to trust him, unbidden, and I felt that great sense of unease. There’s a history to what Flitwick is saying. He knows that I don’t trust the Headmaster of this school, it’s well established by now. But I do trust Flitwick, and that’s all that matters. I glance at him. “This is for me? You’re giving it to me?”

He nods. “On one condition – you promise me you won’t have anyone try to break through the memory charm placed on your mind. This is a far safer alternative. If you’re able to sift through the clutter in your head, you may be able to properly locate the memory you lost. You might even be able to harness it and place it inside the Pensieve, though I suspect the Charm will fight against such an effort.”

“But…doesn’t it still have your memory in it? The one you just put in?”

Flitwick nods. “Nothing private, Luca. I don’t object to you seeing the memory if you’d like to. In fact, it might make for a decent tutorial. Are you prepared to enter the Pensieve? It is harmless, and I will be standing by in case anyone comes calling for you.”

I stare down at teenage Rakepick. Maybe it’s just an urge for closure that I never got in the Underground Vault, but I feel an overwhelming urge to do this. If it was Dumbledore, Snape, or even Sprout, I would be getting the hell out of here. But it’s Flitwick. He’s offering to help me. And if this device, this pensieve, can help me unlock my memory, then I had better start learning how to use it. So I nod. And at Flitwick’s instruction, I dip my face into the pensieve.

It’s almost like taking a dive on a broomstick. Gives me flashbacks to learning Parkin’s Pincer from Skye. More crushingly, it also reminds me of using a Portkey, which takes me back to the Underground Vault. But once the fall is over, I’m sitting…I’m sitting in the Charms Classroom again. For a moment, I think the Pensieve must have failed, except…the classroom is set up like it normally would be, arranged to fit classes. I look around. There’s Flitwick, but when I call out to him, he doesn’t seem to hear me. No, I’m…in his memory.

The door opens. I feel my heart jump. Wearing Hogwarts robes and everything, there she is – Rakepick as a student. She strides into the classroom and stands expectantly, as Flitwick just stares at her, looking disappointed.

“You didn’t stand up for me at all. Even Kettleburn could see that it was no big deal. Why are you doing this? Do you think I deserve the detentions?” Rakepick demands, looking cross, and almost hurt.

Flitwick stares at her, shaking his head slowly. “Trading dragon eggs isn’t just against school regulations, it’s a legitimate crime, Miss Rakepick. You’re lucky detention is all you’re getting. Professor Kettleburn’s reaction is most likely a result of his passion for creatures. I assure you, this is for your own good.”

The younger Rakepick makes a “pff” sound, rolling her eyes and turning to the side. I feel a sudden burst of nostalgia – she always taught us never to turn your back on an enemy, and here she is turning profile to show disdain, instead of turning all the way around. “None of you believe me. But I’m telling you. The Cursed Vaults are real. R is real. I need to get back into the Forbidden Forest and I can’t do it if I’m chained up in Gryffindor Tower.”

“The Forbidden Forest is strictly forbidden to all students, except in Care of Magical Creatures with teacher supervision-“

“And the students allowed into the Creature Reserve, blah blah blah.” She makes a talking motion with her hand. “You can doubt me all you like, but there’s a Vault in the Forest. The damn centaurs won’t listen to me either.”

“You were caught with three stolen Welsh Green eggs in your bookbag, Miss Rakepick. Why should we believe you’re pursuing some imaginary Cursed Vaults? From where I’m standing, it looks like you’re trying to sell illegal contraband.” The Memory-Fliwick squeaks.

“If my interests were financial, why would I take the eggs to the bloody Reserve? I was trying to _hatch_ them. Welsh Greens are the easiest to tame. The Forest needs some line of defense for when R starts poking around. You just don’t get it, do you? If they get their hands on the treasure, they’re going to create a new world! This is far worse than some renegade Curse-Breakers. The Vaults are real, and if R gets what they want-“

“Miss Rakepick, I have students waiting outside. And I’m sure you’ve a class to attend yourself. If you’re like to continue this conversation another time-“

“Forget it. You don’t care. No one cares. No one ever did. I’ll have to do things on my own. What else is new…?” The teenage Rakepick spits out angrily. The world around me blurs and shifts, like I’m in another mental breakdown. Even though for once, it’s not my mind that I’m wandering. But the memory is over now, and I become aware of my head lifting out of the Pensieve. I’m completely dry.

Flitwick and I stand in silence for a moment, before I give him a side-line glance. “She told me…she told me none of the staff would listen.” _And you never do_, is the part that I say only in my head. I don’t understand. Rakepick knew about R, but it didn’t seem as though she was with them. She seemed terrified of them. Moody will want to hear about this. But there’s something else too…Welsh Green Dragons eggs. It’s familiar. Too familiar. An image of Rakepick dueling a Red Cloak in the Creature Reserve, during the dead of night, suddenly sears through my head. Followed by the image of a large dragon backing me into a corner.

It _was_ real. So why don’t Hagrid and Charlie remember it?

Flitwick looks uncomfortable. “If we had listened to Rakepick earlier, then perhaps she might not have decided it was in her best interests to ally herself with our enemies. We have only ever had Hogwarts’ best interests at heart, but I’ll be the first to admit that we make mistakes.”

Ah Mum, I can’t ever stay angry at him.

Not long after that, I say goodbye to Flitwick, and together we carefully place the Pensieve in an enchanted box. I return it to my Dormitory, planning to take it home over the Holidays when Term ends. As I head downstairs, however, I hear someone shouting my name. In another heartbeat, Penny bursts into the Common Room, grabbing my hand. “Luca, Luca, you have to come with me! Something’s happened. Something-oh god, Luca!”

Penny is dragging me along like it's life or death. My immediate worry is that something's happened to Beatrice, but I don't see Ismelda with her. I don't see anyone with her at all. "This way, Luca, you need-you need to see. Oh my god, Luca, I’m so sorry…"

We turn round the corner to the corridor that separates the kitchens and the Hufflepuff basement from the lowest floor of the castle, the dungeons. A bit fed up by now, I finally wrench my arm free from Penny's vice-grip. "Will you please tell me what is-"

I break off. My eyes have followed Penny's. Behind us, the sound of footsteps as someone approaches from behind us. But I'm not sure who. I don't really hear it. I'm not listening. I've simply frozen in place for a moment as I find what Penny wanted me to see.

At the end of the corridor, a small stone figure is propped nearby the entrance to the Hufflepuff basement. As though they were trying to enter. Smaller than a child, but still big enough to hold in two arms. The air in my lungs, the blood in my veins, the very life has gone out of me leaving nothing but ice. Or perhaps stone. I'm quietly shaking as I approach her, until my knees buckle. Until I look upon her face, her wide eyes and pointed ears. Slowly, I reach out to place my palm against her backside. Smooth, hard. Pure rock.

"Mitten..." I mouth slowly.

No...no no no...this can't be happening. This can't be real, not right now. Not with Mitten here, sealed in a stone prison, potentially gone forever. I can't do this, I can't. Mum. Jacob. Gail. I need your help. I need my family back.

".....arow?"

The sound comes from behind me. I can't look around right now, I don't have it in me. But I recognize that meow and it occurs to me that it must have been Merula who came up behind us. Sure enough, there's a very quiet trot from nearby, and soon enough Bitten appears beside me. His green eyes are wide as he stares at Mitten. "A-arow...? Arow? _Row!_ Row..." I watch him transition from confusion, to indignation, to fear. Soon enough, he starts howling, pawing mindlessly at his beloved, until he subsides and...can cats cry? Yes, yes they can. If nothing else, Bitten's anguish is painfully obvious. Maybe it's just me that's crying. Regardless, Bitten and I are inconsolable, so after a few attempts, Penny and Merula leave us alone. Within a few minutes, I reach out and hug Bitten. For once, he doesn't struggle.

This can't happen, Mum. The Statue Curse, the Vaults...they can't have her. They can have me. They can even have my sanity if they want it so badly. But they can't have her. The inevitability of confronting the final vault just became completely absolute, because no matter what, they don't get her. Mitten is out-of-bounds. This is fucking personal now. Forget R, forget Rakepick, forget everyone else. Nobody may harm my cat. That’s all that matters at the moment.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitten is Luca's berserk-button, if you didn't know. 
> 
> Flitwick continues to have gentle dad energy, because I love him so much. 
> 
> Some development for Rakepick too, and...was that a reference to Welshie? Hmm...
> 
> Thanks for reading you guys! Hang tight, tomorrow is gonna be a whopper. The Grand Finale. (Of Year Six, anyway. I do intend to cover "Year Seven" in my own way.)


	31. Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca and Jacob clash as Luca moves to discover the truth behind the day they forgot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone who participated in Fictober, and gave this story a glance. I can't believe we're at the end. A special shoutout one more time to Cokebottlesanddenim! They provided these excellent prompts, and you should totally follow them on Tumblr! 
> 
> "Remembrance." isn't over. However, we've pulled ahead of the HPHM story and I no longer have any prompts left. So it probably won't be updated daily, as it has been. But It will definitely receive a proper conclusion - there's only one year left anyway, right? 
> 
> Today's prompt is "MC's new friends" like with past years. And I made sure to include Beatrice...briefly. But with everything else that's going on, I hope you'll enjoy it anyway :) 
> 
> This is it guys. If you've been waiting for answers, well...wait no more.

** _March 11th, 1990_ **

Dear Gail,

Everything is spiraling. Everything I thought I knew is wrong. Everything I know itself might also be wrong. I have nowhere to turn. My friends can’t help me, not with this. And I wish you could, wherever you are in the great beyond. But the truth is that I have no family. I can’t depend on Jacob anymore, and I can’t depend on Mum. There’s nothing left. But I suppose I should start from the beginning. 

Since I was a child, I’ve struggled to remember a very specific day of my life. I was hit with a memory charm, and it caused a splintering effect that seriously damaged my ability to store and recall memories and information. I’ve had several break-downs over the years. For a time, I thought I was disassociating, and perhaps I was, but I didn’t intentionally repress the day our brother disappeared. It was forcibly wiped from my head. I’ve waited a very long time to get some answers, and even after I found Jacob, he stone-walled me. Refused to explain or even apologize. So I decided to do things myself. 

I stand there in the Artifact Room with Rowan, ready to at last make the attempt. At this moment, we’re still planning on breaking into the Sunken Vault after the deed is done, assuming this deed doesn’t kill me, since I managed to nick the Coral Key from Moody the last time I spoke to him. My deceptions have paid off, and his guard was at least slightly dropped around me. Either that, or he knew what I was up to and let me take it, but I’ll never know. With the Coral Key in hand, with months of practice on the Pensieve under my belt, it’s finally time to make the effort. I kept my promise to Flitwick. I took my time. 

Withdrawing the silver lime wand, I flex my arm slowly, staring at the black star on my hand. Whatever I’m about to learn, I have to be ready to handle it. This is for Beatrice, and protecting her from whatever R wants with “Sliders.” This is for Tulip and Merula. If we can put all this to bed, maybe Merula can heal. Same goes for Ben. This is for Mitten. My beautiful cat, one of the many victims of the statue curse...it’s like the Vaults are getting more aggressive. So it’s time to fight back. I hold the silver lime wand to my temple. 

I let my eyes roll back, let my brain wander back to the day that it refuses to - so I push. Instantly, I feel the resistance. That strange compulsion to lose my train of thought. The urge to let go, to stop trying to imagine that day. The blur...I didn’t always understand, but there’s a curse on me, Gail. Not just as a Fawley. Not just the Mark of Despair. But a curse within my mind. And I will break it. The more resistance I feel, the more I fight back, harder than before. Rowan is talking, and they sound concerned, but I can’t hear them. I’m vaguely aware that I’m convulsing place. Rowan grabs my hand to give me some stability, but it doesn’t do much. 

“Grraaahhhh!!!” Better hope nobody hears my scream and comes to try and help. Ben promised to barricade the door, so that he could be my “bodyguard” but what can he really do if a teacher shows up? Or Tulip, or something? Nobody is going to get in Tulip’s way if I’m in danger. I wish you could have known her. Had you lived, she would have one day been your sister-in-law. 

Is it possible to both pant and scream at the same time? It must be, because that’s what I’m doing. My awareness is starting to dull. I can feel the old security system coming into play - the mental breakdowns. No. no. _ Not this time. _I resist with every ounce of magic in my soul. My wand feels like it’s drilling a hole in my head. In reality, it might be affecting circulation. I can’t be sure. Letting go of Rowan’s hand, I hold out my hand and make a snapping gesture. The bottle. I need the bottle. Rowan places it in my hand, still looking deathly afraid for me. 

But this is it. No matter what Jacob wants, my memories are my own. They belong to me, and I will reclaim them. I pull. My wand almost feels like it’s stuck to my head, and for the briefest moment I worry about breaking this one too. No, no. Forget it. Fuck it. Nothing matters more than this. For Beatrice. For Merula. For Mitten. I yank my hand away from my head, and scream again, because it genuinely hurts. Physical pain stabs through my skull, before I start to feel immensely light-headed. Rowan is gaping at me, and as I breathe in gasps, I look over at the silver lime wand. 

Like always, the magical thought residue is clinging to the tip...but it doesn’t exactly look the way it’s supposed to. Instead of being luminescent and silver, it’s thick and inky black, still shifting as though it were alive, but it almost seems like dark magic. Violet lines intermingle in the black, like veins. Or volts of lightning. I can’t really describe it. It just looks so wrong. 

By this point, Ben has opened the door and peered in, probably at the sound of my screams. “What the heck is that?” He demands.”It looks...radioactive.” By this point, I’ve managed to drop the distorted memory into the bottle, and capped it. 

Rowan looks over at Ben. “Radio...what?” 

Ben pauses, like he’s struggling to think of the right way to translate his chosen muggle word. “Like...poisonous, I suppose. Are you really going to put that in the Pensieve? What if it like...I dunno, destroys the thing?” 

I’m not sure that I can even talk right now, using my vocal chords. Because extracting that memory took a lot out of me. Professor Flitwick was right, Gail. The charm fought back. There’s a spell in my head that is very determined that I never see this memory in full. Will it still fight me if I view the memory from within the pensieve? “Only one way to find out.” 

At first, I’m a little concerned that I might not be able to walk. That’s happened before. Gave Tulip a real fright. But no, it takes me a minute, but my general energy returns to me. If anything, I feel far less anxious now. I’m not sure why, but I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. Because now I’m off to the Hufflepuff Basement. To my dormitory. So long as Diego isn’t hanging around, I’m going to replace this memory in the pensieve, and finally have my answer. Which might bring a lot more anxiety, but we’ll just have to see. 

What I’m not counting on, Gail, is our brother. Jacob got himself into a lot of crazy things, Gail. He got mixed up with a cabal that has unknown but illicit intentions, and ever since I rescued him from his portrait prison, he’s been hunting a known member of “R” that he and I both know very well - Patricia Rakepick. Once, she mentored me, and I used to think she was my guardian angel. That was before she tortured a girl I love very much. No, not Tulip. Merula Snyde. Long story, but I’m polyamorous. Don’t judge. At this point, I know Jacob would do anything to further his agenda, which he’s convinced is important. Stopping Rakepick, opening the Sunken Vault...and making damn sure I stay out of it. Hence what happens next. 

I’m on my way back to the Hufflepuff Basement when I run into Hagrid. He lumbers over to me, telling me that Merula was looking for me in the courtyard, but that it was very important that I go alone. That she had private information for me. Taking the little steps not to anger Merula is normally wise, so I say goodbye to Rowan and Ben for the moment, and make for the Courtyard. As I’m waving to Hagrid, I notice something strange. A kind of odd glow in his eyes, as though he was looking into the sun. Hagrid has never been the most precise bloke out there, so his uncertainty about what Merula wanted didn’t faze me. But that look in his eyes...I’m already out in the empty courtyard when I start to feel deeply uneasy. Just as it occurs to me that Hagrid was very likely confunded, and Merula isn’t waiting out here for me, I feel the blast. 

Someone has struck me in the back with the impediment jinx, and I can’t move. This isn’t the first time, Gail. I’m half expecting a servant of R to appear wearing a Red Cloak and hood, but that doesn’t happen. A familiar figure in a long brown cloak, with a shaved head suddenly crouches beside me. “Sorry Pip. For your own good.” To my horror, I feel Jacob reaching into my robe pockets, until he grabs the bottle. The bottle with the black memory in it. The impediment jinx always fades momentarily, but by the time I flinch and roll over, getting back up onto my feet...I have no idea where Jacob went. 

No. No. _ I said no. _ I said that nothing would stop me this time, and I meant that. Jacob sure as hell isn’t going to. I spring to my feet, squinting, looking around, letting my magic eye zoom around in my head. It took some getting used to, but I now know how to do that. I cast surveillance in all directions. There he is! The faintest glimpse! I take off after him, running in hot pursuit. No doubt, he’s trying to get past the boundaries of the Hogwarts grounds, and Dumbledore’s anti-disapparation jinx. I have to catch him before he makes it that far. Jacob, you are not running out on me again. Not with my memory. 

There he is. Throwing a glance back at me, giving a weird squeak of fear, and running faster. Like hell. Get back here, Jacob! He tries to throw another impediment jinx, but I didn’t duel ice knights and dragons and giant spiders to get overpowered by my big brother. I trained with Bill, with Merula, and with Patricia bloody Rakepick. I block the jinx with a shield charm, and attempt to disarm him, but he evades that jet of light, before switching direction and plunging into the Forbidden Forest. Gail, Jacob is not getting away. 

At this point, my only fear, the only thing that’s holding me back from attacking with more ferocity, is that he still has the bottle. I don’t want to break it. I need to slow him down, because we’re both starting to tire. “It’s useless!” I call out raggedly. “The Forest carries on for miles. Even the Creature Sanctuary is protected, you can’t apparate there. Or here. Jacob, give me that memory back right now.” 

We’re both slowing to a halt now, catching our breath. I suppose five years of imprisonment in a portrait have dulled Jacob’s senses and atrophied his muscles. Because I recall him being much more of an endurance runner. Always able to win against me and Jae back when we were kids. Jacob just looks at me, a terrible expression on his face. Hopeless and pitiable. When he responds, he sounds so dejected. “I can’t let you take this Pip, I can’t.” I’m vaguely worried that he’ll try to destroy it, but apparently memories can only be altered, never completely erased. That’s what Flitwick said anyway. 

“Why? Jacob, tell me why! I deserve to know!” By this point, I’m not sure if I’m crying out of frustration and anger at being denied again, or in anguish at his betrayal, and how little I feel like I know him anymore. The quivering, panting mess that is avoiding my eye, is barely recognizable as my own brother. He won’t me in the eye...that was never his issue. It was mine. “Jacob…” I’m advancing on him. He’s backing into a corner until he’s against a tree.” Just tell me why? What is it you don’t want me to see?” I’m sobbing now, grabbing hold of his cloak and just crying into his shoulder. 

“Pip, w-when all this is over, I’ll explain everything. But you’ve done your part. Leave Rakepick and the Vaults to me.” He tries to shrug me off, to pull away. Gail...Jacob. Isn’t hugging me. He hasn’t hugged me once since I set him free, not even when we were reunited. The growing unease I feel about him is only growing stronger. Finally, he shrugs me off altogether and I fall to my knees. “You’ve still got a year and a half left at Hogwarts, yeah? Enjoy the rest of your time here. Let me look out for you like you’ve been looking out for me.” 

I sit there, crouched into a kind of ball on the ground of the forest, very much lost in thought. My mind is starting to connect more and more dots. Eventually, after a moment’s silence, Jacob turns to take his leave. But I grab his ankle. “Jacob, you don’t understand. I need to do this. Especially after...after Dad.” 

Something changes in his eyes, and he opens his mouth to respond, but closes it again. “I’m...I’m sorry about Dad, Luca.” 

“But that’s why! Don’t you see? It was all my fault.” I only sob more, as Jacob now seems utterly dismayed at my meltdown. He crouches beside me and gently pats my head, as I keep gushing. “Dad got sick because of me, you know he did. Everyone got it from me. If I hadn’t gotten spattergroit, he’d still be alive, and he’d know what to do right now.” I just let the tears pour. Raw, ugly crying. 

Jacob gets to his feet and turns away from me. Resting his head against the nearby oak tree, like he really just doesn’t know what to say. “Don’t be stupid, Pip. Illness is just part of life. The path it takes isn’t your fault. Alright? Come on, chin up.” He offers me his hand, so that he can help me up. Squinting slightly, my magic eye can see through his pocket, and see the contents inside. Our Dad’s wand, my stolen memory, and a black quill. 

I bite my lip, finally giving a smile, as I accept the hand offered to me, and he helps me up. I glance downward, and then back up again. “Thank you. Truly, thank you...it’s much easier to see clearly now. I mean, I didn’t know. I really didn’t, until right now. But now I’m sure. So thank you.” 

And then, I swing my fist forward. It crashes into his face, right in his eye, and he goes stumbling back against the trunk of the oak tree. The bottle falls out of his pocket, onto the soil. I dive for it, and I feel him move to try and stop me. But men have a particular weakness to their physiology, and targeting it can cause excruciating pain, even if doing so is generally considered dishonorable. 

What I’m saying is, I kicked him in the balls. 

He falls onto his knees, wailing in pain. “What the hell...what the hell man, why?” But Gail, I’m just getting started. I truly don’t think I’ve ever been this angry. This bloke has no idea what he’s in for. Because whoever he is, he’s not Jacob. I changed the story, Gail. I had a bad feeling about this Jacob from the moment I set him free in the Underground Vault. But it only got worse and worse. So I decided on a little test. Wherever you and Dad are, he may have told you this already, but it wasn’t spattergroit that killed him. It was dragon pox. And if this was really Jacob, not only would he have known that, he’d have known that I wasn’t the one who got sick first. Jacob got sick first. I never blamed myself for Dad’s death, _Jacob_ is the one who did. I wasn’t sure Gail, I really wasn’t. But now I know.

The impostor fumbles, reaching for Dad’s wand, lifting it to aim at me. Suddenly, I’m overcome with another bout of rage. How dare he carry our father’s wand? How dare he wear Jacob’s face? Before he can cast a spell, I aimed my wand directly at his hand. And in my anger-

“_Virgula Excindo_!”

Dad’s wand exploded in his face, snapping cleanly in two pieces that flew off in different directions. The impostor had himself an appropriate scream of shock, dismay, and confusion. Kinda like how I felt when Rakepick did it to me. He looks up at me desperately, like he’s hoping for some kind of mercy. Gail, you may not believe this...but I used to be so forgiving. I miss that time. 

“Who are you? Where’s Jacob?” I shout, echoing through the trees. If I’m not careful, I’ll draw the attention of the centaurs, or worse, the acromantulas. But I’m so beyond caring about any of that. The impostor just gazes at me in wide-eyed fear. His expression only further confirms that he’s guilty as can be, but I think he’s still trying to stick to playing dumb. 

“Look pal, I can do this all day. Tell me where my brother is. Tell me now.” But the liar continues to wordlessly lie. Avoiding my gaze, murmuring pathetic pleas, and trying to crawl away from me. 

Gail, I’m really not proud of what I do next. I think I might need to do some self-reflection about how far I go when I’m angry. On the other hand, this person just tried to steal my memories, and he’s been lying to me, impersonating my brother, since last summer. So I suppose an argument could be made that I’m well within my rights to do this, but it still makes me uncomfortable to use this power on another human. 

_ “Legilimens!” _

Aiming my wand at his skull, I feel myself entering his mind. Like a museum collection of doors, but which one do I enter? This ability is addictive, No wonder Flitwick worried that I might misuse it. I kick open a few doors, looking for a damning memory, and...what the hell? It’s a werewolf, but it’s not Chiara, I’ve seen her transformation. It’s not Greyback either. It’s a completely different werewolf with a stag and a large, black dog. Is this an illusion? Some new form of occlumency? 

I force another door open, and see something close to what I’m looking for. It’s Rakepick, holding up a struggling rat. A very familiar rat. In another moment, she’s forced Wormtail to return to his human form, making him cower in the corner. Rakepick is giving Wormtail instructions, telling him to perform the enchantments, and get down to the Underground Vault. She gives him...she gives him a wand. Dad’s wand. The one I just destroyed. 

I pull myself out of the museum of thoughts, and cast another spell, “_ Revelio! _” at the imposter as he attempts to crawl away. Sure enough, Jacob’s features shift and distort. And soon enough there’s nothing left but a fat, balding man with watery eyes. Then he makes a dive. Grabbing the bottle from the ground, I aim my wand again, but he holds up his own, pressing to the bottle, staring at me. We’re at an impasse. 

“You had better let me go, Luca. Or I’ll destroy your precious memory.” 

I stare at him coldly. “That’s your only bargaining chip, Wormtail. Use it wisely.” 

His watery eyes seem to bug out when I use his name, and I snort. “You’re worse at magic then you think you are. So here’s my counter-offer - roll that bottle over to me without harming it, and you can go back to living as Scabbers. No one will hear a peep from me.” 

Wormtail bites his chapped lips. “How do I know you’ll keep your word?” 

“Because I’m not a liar like you.” I remind him harshly. “Sure, you have no insurance...but what else can you do? If you destroy the memory, I stun you, and take you back to the castle. All the people who “hate” you discover who you really are, starting with the Weasleys.” At this, Wormtail hesitates. His eyes dart to the thicket of trees in the east. Foreseeing a great danger, I decide to nip it in the bud.

“If you transform, then I transform. Cat catches mouse, so long Wormtail.” I spell out for him, and then he looks well and truly miserable. Oh well, not my problem. 

After a hideous pause, Wormtail’s voice comes out in a tone that’s clearly going for pity. “You don’t understand...sure, maybe you’re tough, but you’re nothing like them. If she finds out I let you keep the memory, I’m a dead man. Or worse, I wind up as one of their...experiments. I can’t give this to you.” 

I level my wand at him. “You can say you destroyed it. Or that you prevented me from obtaining it in the first place. Say whatever you have to, I don’t care. You can go on pretending to be Jacob. But just tell me where his is. Does Rakepick have him imprisoned somewhere?” 

There’s the slightest moment, where Wormtail flinches, and I know he’s going to do something. Then he abruptly flings the memory toward me and I flail to grab it. Wind up going down, but with the bottle safely in my grip. I sit back up, but...he’s already gone. Transformed and with a head-start. Fine, he can go. So long as I have this. 

By the time I return to the castle, the sky starts to darken. Fortunately, my habit of disappearing and going off to the Creature Reserve is well-documented. Rowan and Ben might still believe I’m meeting with Merula. But either way, I’ll see them soon. After I finish my mission. 

The Hufflepuff Boy’s Dormitory is deserted. But the Pensieve isn’t dangerous. Though, this particular memory might still be. I’m going to need someone on standby to pull me out if things get dicey. I could just wait for Rowan to get back from dinner, or Penny or Tonks. But I’m impatient, so I decided to sweep all the dormitories, male and female alike. Knocking on every door. Though by the time I get to Second Year Girls, it occurs to me that there’s someone who probably won’t be at dinner. 

“What?” Beatrice’s voice rings out, irritated at the disruption. 

“Beatrice, it’s Luca. Can you do me a favor?” 

The door opens, and it’s Beatrice, already in her pajamas. Even those are primarily black these days. “Spill it, what do you need?” I’m reminded strangely of a different time, in my own second year, when I came up here to give Penny a present from Aurelie. Almost a different age, it feels like. 

“Nothing serious. It’s just going to look very strange.” 

I briefly explain my plan, giving her a rundown of the memory system. A few minutes later, Beatrice and I make our way back into my Dormitory. I quickly shove everything off my desk, my scarf falling to the floor and the Remembrall rolling under my bed. Beatrice stands back by the doorway, quietly eyeing the Pensieve as I set it down properly. “So you’re going to go in there? How am I meant to get you out, or know if you need rescuing?” 

“Well, only my head is going to go in, really. My mind will be elsewhere, but you should be able to rescue me just by yanking me out manually. As for how you’ll know...well, that’s tough. Just use your instincts, I guess? If I start flailing uncontrollably, that’s probably a sign.” 

She just rolls her eyes at this. I can’t blame her. 

I remove the phial from my robes, the contents still inky black with flecks of violet. It looks just as alive as ever. Beatrice stares at it in disgust, not bothering to be subtle. I approach the Penseive and tip the memory inside. It doesn’t go easily. I have to tap the phial so hard that it cracks, and use my wand to scrape the memory all the way out, and into the swirling contents of the pensieve. Though it isn’t long before the entire bowl has started to resemble the same black, viscous material. As if the day Jacob disappeared is diluting everything else. 

“Here goes nothing.” I mutter, throwing Beatrice a final glance. She raises her eyebrows slightly. I’m sure she doesn’t think much of this idea. But she’s also not the type of person to try and talk me out of it. The look on her face says, “Okay then, it’s your funeral.” 

I squeeze my eyes shut out of some kind of childish fear of what I’ll see. Before I dip my head into the Pensieve. 

And then, I’m falling again. It seems like I’m falling for such a long time. For hours, even. It gets to the point where I forget that I’m falling. Or...maybe I just forget why. My level of awareness fluctuates. So when I finally land in my house, it takes me a moment to remember what I’m doing there. If it wasn’t for how off everything is, I might not have immediately noticed. 

This looks just like my living room, but...there’s dark fog everywhere, and the sound of a voice, what must be my voice, echoing from all sides. I can hear myself begging Jacob not to run away, can hear his voice telling me that it’s for my own good. “Now get out of my face.” He snaps, and I’m able to discern two figures in the fog. Jacob leans down to whisper something in my ear, before he starts to walk away, and tiny Luca only sobs harder. 

It’s harsh. It’s painful. It’s...not real. None of this is real. It feels all wrong. I close one eye, leaving my blue eye open, and I strain to look harder through the fog. Sure enough, it’s as though there’s something else going on, underneath a projection. I raise my wand, and cast Revelio again. Which surprisingly works. The fog gradually starts to clear. And there we are. Jacob and I. Oh yeah, that’s him Gail. It’s really him this time. I should have known he’d never shave his head - the idiot loves his hair too much. 

“Luca, we have to get out of here.” 

“What?” Tiny me stares up at Jacob in concern. “But this is where we live! I’m starting Hogwarts soon, and-” 

“Hogwarts isn’t safe Luca. It’s never safe. But we’re not safe here either. This is serious, okay? We can’t trust Albus Dumbledore.” By this point, tiny me has started to cry. Yeah, Gail, I’m a bit of crybaby. Not so much these days, since I’m emotionally dead, but crying used to be a real habit of mine. 

“ “Luca, look at me. I don’t have much time left. I need you to understand something. I wouldn’t have risked coming home, not with everything that’s going on. BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW! YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT R.” Then Jacob raises a hand to strike younger Luca. He’s always had a problem with hitting, but he was getting better about it. 

The slap pacifices young Luca for a moment, but a creaking sound comes from upstairs. Behind Jacob, the front doors magically seal with a quiet click. Fear crosses his face. “Luca, wait here, I need to go upstairs.” But the younger Luca doesn’t wait. They protest, latching onto Jacob’s arm and refusing to let go. Footsteps are coming from the staircase. The yelling must have drawn someone’s attention. 

“Stop, stop! Listen to me! Whatever happens, you need to remember this.” Jacob grabs Luca’s face, forcing the eye contact that I could never stand as a child. “Whatever happens to me, you have to stay safe. There’s a woman called Patricia Rakepick, and she-”

“Jacob?” A voice from the top of the stairs. Mum’s voice. Bloody hell, I haven’t heard it in so long. 

But my brother only looks more terrified. “Find Rakepick, she’ll watch out for you. Luca, someone is trying to kill you. They already failed once. They’ll do anything to stop you from becoming R’s weapon. Don’t go to Hogwarts, stay away from the Cursed Vaults, and, this is very important - _ don’t trust Mum. _ She’s part of it.” 

Whatever silence may have greeted his words is interrupted by another arrival. Nina Fawley, our mother, is now standing in the living room as well. Her face falls in a soft glower. “Jacob...my first born. Why do you always have to meddle?” Despite looking irritated, she almost sounds bored. 

Jacob suddenly pushes the young Luca behind him, ignoring his cries. “We’re leaving, Luca and I. They won’t become a pawn in your game. Now lift the Anti-Disapparation jinx.” 

“This is no game, Jacob. This is the future. For muggles and wizards. To create a better world, we all need to be ready to make sacrifices. For those of us who are fortunate enough to wield magic, it is our responsibility.”

Jacob pulls out Dad’s wand, and levels it at her. “Don’t even try to wipe my mind. Snape trained me in Occlumency before I was expelled - and I know you set that up, by the way.” 

My mother laughs quietly, as though the joke is private, even though she goes on to explain it. “I have no intention of wiping your mind. Sadly, you’ve become a real problem, Jacob. I had high hopes for you, but your expulsion was a necessary step once it became clear how great a threat you and Rakepick pose to our efforts. But no, I won’t be wiping your mind. We all must make sacrifices for the new world. I’m afraid your sacrifice will be your life.”

Mum draws her wand calmly, and points it at Jacob. Perhaps her words took him by surprise. Perhaps deep down, he didn’t truly think she would hurt him. 

“_ Avada Kedavra. _” 

Light as bright and green as potion explosion. It flashes across the room and my wonderful big brother sinks to the ground, twisted at an odd angle. Perhaps young Luca already knew about the Unforgivable Curses. Perhaps it was simply clear from Jacob’s position that he was never waking up. But Luca’s pain is rivalled only by their shock. They rush to Jacob, clutching him, before Nina approaches and lazily kicks Luca aside, to shove Jacob’s body into a corner. 

She turns back to Luca, looking almost frustrated, as though they’re simply another problem. “Luca, come now, he was trying to kidnap you. I simply protected my child.” The young Luca may be dissociating right now. It certainly looks as though they’re going mad. Wailing in anguish and fear, ignoring Nina’s attempts to get through to them, or perhaps simply not hearing them. Spread onto their back as Nina stands over them, crying so hard that they’re convulsing. 

“No…_ noo _….no no…how could….he can’t…this can’t be real…how could you do that….how could…” They clutch at Nina’s ankles desperately, but Nina simply kicks them away again, muttering to herself as Luca only wails more. “No no….Jacob, come back. Come back. Please….” Finally, Nina seems to make a decision, and lifts her wand. The hazel wand - the wand that killed Jacob. The wand I carried for five years. 

“Luca! Luca, listen to me. This isn’t real. None of this is real. It’s time to end what’s already over. _Obliviate!_” She aims the wand, and the writhing child beneath her suddenly goes limp, eyes turning as glassy as Jacob’s. They’re still alive, but they seem just as vegetative as their aunt and uncle, murmuring Jacob’s name amid nonsense. Meanwhile, I can feel their mind - my mind - our mind, shattering into pieces. A million colors, yet nothing but darkness. A millions screams in the empty silence. What was certain no longer is. Everything right is actually wrong. For the first time in six years, everything that happened on this day returns to me. Including emotions and implications. 

Nina lowers the hazel wand, looking troubled. Glances between the slumped figures of her children. “When your grandparents get home, they can dispose of the remains, and take you to St. Mungo’s. The news of your brother’s disappearance hurt you so terribly that you went mad…” She snorts. “Not like you’d be the first Fawley, right?” Reality is starting to warp again, but this time, it’s because the memory is over. I’ve seen all that I came here to see, and the charm has finally broken. 

My head withdraws from the pool, which is silvery and gaseous again. Beatrice looks up from her book, staring at me. “You were in there for ages. I think people are back in the Common Room...what happened?” 

But I don’t answer her. I don’t say a word. I just start weeping. 

Love, Luca. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, see! You know I have to continue the story now, I can't leave it on a cliffhanger like that! 
> 
> This means that whoever's trying to kill Luca wasn't sent by R, since R needs them alive. So who could have done it? 
> 
> Jacob being dead is a theory that has definitely been been posed before. Plenty of people speculate that the Jacob we currently interact with isn't really him. And yes, you read that right, MC's mum is evil. I haven't seen ANYONE theorize that, which means my including it makes me a genius... or a dumbass. Take your pick. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, guys! Happy Halloween, and happy Fictober!


	32. The Fawley Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still coping with the truth, Luca prepares to open the final Cursed Vault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you! Told you Remembrance wasn't over. We're getting there, but first we have to finish Year Six. And there's still Year Seven. 
> 
> No prompt to speak of today, since Fictober is over, but I'm sure "The Sunken Vault" would have been a prompt if the game was already that far. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

** _May 29th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

Wherever you are, somewhere out there, I hope you can forgive me. I failed you in every way possible. In the effort to find you, I became so entwined with the Cursed Vaults that it’s far too late to back out - which is exactly what you didn’t want. I let R manipulate me and turn me into a weapon. I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault. All you ever did was try to protect me, and in return, I suspected and demonized you in my mind. I did the same thing to Rowan, and just like with them, it took reality stabbing me in the gut to come to my senses. Even now, I don’t even know why I’m writing letters to you when you’ll never read them. But if you are watching over me, up there in the stars, then maybe you’ll see these. Merlin’s beard, I hope not. I said terrible things about you. If I could take it back, every word, then I would. But I don’t have a time-turner. All I can do is move on. 

The memory that was stolen from me has returned to my brain. Using the Pensieve seemed to work. Like the Curse-Breaker I am, I broke through the memory charm. Doesn’t mean my mental state is stable. Even having someone to sleep beside hasn’t stopped the violent nightmares I’ve experienced ever since. I’m spending ever night in the Hybrid Dormitory my friends designed from the Come and Go Room, almost always with Tulip, Rowan, or Tonks by my side. And yet every night, I watch you die. 

No one else knows, Jacob. Nobody knows what I saw in the Pensieve. There was a time when I told my friends everything. It doesn’t even feel that long ago. But this is something that I can’t speak aloud. Even writing it down has a terrible finality. I should talk to someone. Tulip will want to know, want to help me. Merula deserves to know the truth about Jacob as well, even if Wormtail hasn’t shown his face since our last confrontation - at least, not as a human. Possibly fearing my retaliation, he’s stuck to being Scabbers for the past few months. I don’t know if he told Rakepick or Mum that I obtained the memory, but my guess is that he didn’t. 

I should talk to someone. The others are very aware that the memory traumatized me. They don’t know the details, because I wouldn’t say, but emerging from the basin, I was devastated and it showed. Penny and Rowan stayed by my side, with Beatrice awkwardly lingering in the corner, but I just could not stop sobbing. Six years of grieving forced into my subconscious. This is what Trelawney meant - death has already passed, betrayal is yet to come. I always thought it was the other way around. I should talk to someone, particularly since I can’t ever go back home again. Not to the Apothecary, not to Dulcimer Beach. Mum seems to have abandoned the place, and me, altogether. But...what if she’s there this summer? I don’t ever want to see her face again. I can’t. It will tear me apart. Grandma and Grandpa are apparently in on it too. I’m alone Jacob, I’m all alone. I have no family left…

Which is why I should really talk to someone. Especially going into the Sunken Vault. But I don’t - I just can’t. Instead, I organize my team to prepare for the infiltration. With Rakepick gone, I really have become the leader. I’m not the least bit qualified to lead, and I’m certainly in no condition. But Merula and I are the only ones with any Curse Breaking experience, and it can’t be her. She’s too hell-bent on revenge. If we run into Rakepick in the Vault, Merula will get herself killed. She can’t be the one calling the shots. I’m the only one who can. And the biggest decision was who to bring. Because the only volunteers I had were Beatrice and Ben, and for various reasons, there’s no way in hell I’m bringing either of them. 

Beatrice is only a second year. I realize it’s hypocritical of me to use that reasoning, but let’s just say I’ve matured. Second year, was the year that I lost an eye. I don’t want Beatrice losing an eye, or worse. It took Penny and I hours to talk her out of wanting to go, but there was just no getting through to Ben. He insists that he’s my protector, that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Sure, I could have stunned him and left him tied up in a closet, but the sad truth is that I’ve had to do that a few times now. Ben has made it clear that if I do it again, he’ll turn his wand on me. And I’m honestly not sure I could beat him in a duel. 

  
So, Ben’s going. There was no talking Merula out of going, either. Curiously, those two have been getting far better as of late. Probably because Ben is becoming so much more like her. Now, I realize that I’m in love with Merula, so it may be weird for me to say this, but it’s not a good direction for Ben to take. It’s not a good direction for most people to take. It doesn’t suit him. I wouldn’t wish Merula’s mental state on anyone, especially not her mental state this year. She’s a good person under all her pain, but my god is there a lot of pain, and she’s buried under it. We’re making progress in baby steps, but she’s still quite guarded with me and Tulip. 

With Ben and Merula going, I knew I needed someone to help keep things grounded. Didn’t want to bring more than two more people, for fear of having too large a crowd. Rakepick explained this to us in fifth year, but Curses are adaptable, and the greater the threat, the more they retaliate. It’s almost like they’re alive. So a smaller group is less conspicuous, and easier to manage. Rowan and Tulip both came to mind, but Tulip isn’t exactly a person I’d consider to be “grounded.” In fact, her greatest strengths come from her not being level-headed. So it was finally Rowan’s time to enter a Cursed Vault. 

The four of us made the journey from our various Common Rooms to the Forbidden Forest, after hours one night, finally meeting up by the Forest Lake. I never knew this, but it’s connected to the Black Lake by some kind of magic portal. The Final Cursed Vault is kind of like a bridge between the two lakes. We have the Coral Key, and we know the Bubble-Head Charm now. We also invested in learning how to change our clothing by magic - having to swim through the lake in robes would take way too long, but we don’t exactly want to face down whatever challenges await in swimsuits. 

Flitwick has taught me a lot, but one of the most important lessons was to take my time. Merula is impulsive, she always has been, and she didn’t exactly learn anything else from Rakepick. Because Rakepick doesn’t take her time, she just does whatever the hell she wants, but she’s powerful and intimidating enough that she can usually get away with it. Merula has always tried, unsuccessfully, to coast on her own level of intimidation, which...only really worked on Ben, and that was years ago. Five minutes after we make it to the Forest Lake, we’re underwater. One unfortunate side-effect is that we can’t really communicate while we have the bubble-head charms on. I can tell that Rowan is trying to say something, but I sure can’t hear it. 

Eventually, we reach a very large, circular boulder, covered by algae, or moss, or something. Apparently muggles study the ocean, and they have different words for all these types of aquatic plants, but not even Ben knows all of them. I mean, it makes sense. If I didn’t have magic, I’d probably look for a hobby too. However, after some searching, I’m able to find a crevice. The Coral Key isn’t really a key. It’s like...a pink rock, almost in the shape of a tree, and in another moment, I know what needs to be done. I fit the key into the crevice. Sure enough, a loud rumbling warns us of impending movement, and the boulder rolls aside, exposing a hidden passage. Taking it one by one, we eventually find ourselves in a secret cavern. 

At a first glance, it seems vast, but ultimately empty. Just a circular room of stone that doesn’t have much to it...well, except for the glowing on the walls. There’s a reason we don’t cast Lumos...we can see pretty well without it. The rocks on the walls are glowing like stars. It almost feels like we’re outside, but the lights aren’t just above us, they’re all around us. Like the sky is swallowing us up. Like a lethifold has us in it’s smother. See, the room itself is mystical and quite enchanting, but I still get an uneasy feeling. I usually do, in the Vaults. 

We surface, remove the bubble-head charms, and start to dry each other off with magic. Merula is particularly flushed, probably because of the whole swimsuit thing, but I don’t really understand. It’s not like Rowan and Ben are really paying her any attention, they’re looking around and making comments about the stars. Considering that we were in a relationship last year...well, let’s just say that it’s not the first time I’ve seen Merula this undressed before. So I don’t know what she’s feeling. I never know what Merula is feeling these days. What I do know, as we transfigure back into ordinary robes, is that Rowan is tugging on my arm. “Luca, I think we were followed.” 

“Followed?” I glance back around at the water. It now occurs to me that, by opening the Sunken Vault, we left the entrance unguarded.Not much to be done about that, really, but I suddenly feel so helpless. Like I’ve let my friends down, once again. I’m supposed to be in command. I’m supposed to protect them. So I stride forward and level my wand, because there’s something moving in the water. Shifting closer. Someone surfaces. Wait...it’s Beatrice! 

Oh. Oh god. What the hell has she done. 

Obviously, she followed us, having only pretended to go along with what Penny and I wished. Should have known. But when Beatrice surfaces, she immediately looks like she’s in severe pain. Actually, she doesn’t look like herself at all. Not just because she’s missing her typical makeup, but because her neck is sporting large gouges, and when she clutches at her throat, her fingers are webbed. Oh...oh you moron. It lasts for an hour, you absolute-

  
_“Finite!” _

If this doesn’t work, I’m prepared to shove her back under water until the hour is up, because I’m quite, quite annoyed with her, but thank God it works. The gills disappear, her fingers separate, and Beatrice loses any trace of the gillyweed she stole. Rowan and I had found some, and that was our initial plan, before we learned of the bubble-head charm. Now free of its effects, Beatrice is coughing, crawling along the rock. 

“The hell is she doing here?” Merula snaps. “I thought we told her not to come.” 

“We did. But she came anyway. Can’t say I’m not impressed.” Ben folds his arms. 

Rowan is just shaking their head, putting their forehead into their palm. By this point, I remind myself to stay cool. Beatrice doesn’t respond well to being scolded. If she ever feels patronized, she only rebels more, and unfortunately her sister often patronizes her unintentionally, causing her to choose bad influences like Ismelda. (I’ve really grown to care about Ismelda, but that doesn’t make her a good influence.) I’ve tried like hell to present a kind of middle road for Beatrice, but she’s not making it easy. 

I simply offer her my hand, which she accepts, getting up and still coughing. I’m just shaking my head slowly, prepared to say something, but Beatrice beats me to it. 

“Don’t, Luca. You think you have it bad? You lost a single day of your life. I lost an entire year. Why is it okay for you to do this, but not me?” 

She’s right, of course. Another thing Beatrice hates is hypocrisy. The Vaults took away her entire first year at Hogwarts. I don’t know her struggle, I don’t know how she’s been affected or what she’s feeling, beyond what she’s told me. But her words still cut deeper than knows, because I haven’t told her, or anyone else, anything. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. 

“Sometimes you treat me like a child, other times you treat me like an equal. You need to decide if I’m one of your friends, or just Penny’s little sister.” Ah. So that’s what she’s really upset about. “We’re all teenagers here. I’m so sick of everyone treating me like a child just because I’m the youngest.” 

“It’s not about age, it’s about experience. We’ve been dealing with the Vaults for six years, and you-”

_ Me?! _ Me _ what!? _ I’ve seen things you couldn’t even imagine! No one ever bothered to ask, you know. Nobody asked me what it was like to be stuck in a portrait for a year. What I saw, what I felt. They just wanted to move on. Put their feelings about it ahead of mine. Everyone keeps telling me how much Penny suffered last year, with me gone. Well guess what? I suffered too! I was the one who was taken! You couldn’t begin to imagine my experience! 

I didn’t need this. I really didn’t need an emotionally draining argument with someone right before we brave whatever lies ahead in the Vault. But I suppose Beatrice needs to get this out of her system, and she’s not wrong. “No one’s trying to discredit your suffering-” 

“No one is acknowledging it! Even _ you _ never asked me what it was like, Luca.” 

Ouch. Fair. 

“I thought of all people, you would understand. I lost a year of my life. Try, just for a second to imagine what it would be like if your struggle was multiplied beyond losing just one day.” 

“I lost _ everything _ on that day. You have _ no idea _ what I lost!” It’s the first time my voice rises to meet her volume. 

“No, I don’t! Because you keep it all inside! How does that help?” 

Behind me, Rowan makes a nervous sound of agreement, as Beatrice thunders on. “You won’t tell anyone what you saw in the Pensieve, how is that any different from Jacob not telling you in the first place? 

  
“JACOB’S DEAD!” 

...you’re dead. You’re gone forever, and you’re not coming back. Because our mother killed you. And I have to live with it. I have to move on. Somehow. Verbalizing the truth was not my intention, it seemed as though I had some kind of knee-jerk reaction. But once I do verbalize it, and my friends hear it...the truth becomes real for me. In a way that it wasn’t before. I fall to my knees and start crying again. Silent tears this time. Naturally, my outburst has garnered some confusion. 

Beatrice looks stricken. Maybe I frightened her. Maybe I upset her. I don’t know. But Rowan moves to my side and I instinctively latch on, holding them and crying into their chest. Behind me, I hear Merula’s voice. So nervous, so uncertain. 

“No...he...he’s not...what are you talking about?” 

I don’t have the strength to answer her, but as it happens, I don’t have to. For a new voice answers Merula instead. 

“So you know. Good, that simplifies things. I tried to tell them Wormtail wasn’t up to the task.” 

I know that voice. I jump up from Rowan and aim the silver lime wand at Patricia Rakepick. I don’t know how she got in, because I only knew of one entrance to this Vault and she clearly didn’t use it. She’s bone-dry. Ben and Rowan aim their wands too, and Merula gives a roar of rage, charging toward Rakepick. Who blasts her back with the banishing spell, making her crash into Beatrice and sending them both into the water. The three of us currently standing shoot spells and Rakepick but she raises a powerful shield charm. Before it elapses, she looks directly at me. “You really want to fight me, Luca? Or do you want answers?” 

Merula and Beatrice start to come out of the water, Merula charging again. Then Rowan does something for me. They stun Merula, knocking her out but leaving her basically unharmed. I love Rowan so much, you know. I wish you could have known them. Because...they just knew, instinctively. To do that, so that I didn’t have to. Looking back at Rakepick, seeing that horrible smirk, I level my wand again. “Why should I trust a word you say?” 

“Because I still need you. I need two of you to open the Sunken Vault, after all.” 

“We’ll never help the likes of you!” Ben snarls in her direction. Rakepick gives him a strange look, like she’s going to say something, but ultimately decides not to. At this point, Beatrice chimes in, moving to stand behind me. 

“So that’s the deal you want? Aiding you in exchange for answers about Jacob?” 

“Oh, Luca doesn’t need answers about _ him _. They already know his fate. Luca wants answers about Nina, don’t you?” 

Rowan and Ben turn to look at me in confusion. I must not have the best poker face, because Rakepick is laughing softly. Rowan frowns. “Hang on...isn’t Nina your Mum’s name?” 

“Nina Fawley. A very old friend and mentor to me.” Rakepick grins again. “I spent most of my time at Hogwarts trying to open the Vaults, and stop R from getting there first. Until I discovered Nina’s involvement. She brought me into R, and helped me understand what they really want. She sent me to befriend Jacob. When he was compromised, she sent me to befriend you.” 

“_ Compromised _ ?!” The word burns fury through my head, and damn it, I have to stay calm. Anger never gets me anywhere but in trouble. And not the good kind of trouble, either. Not Tulip trouble. I’m talking about “Merula gets tortured, Ben and Rowan get possessed” kind of trouble. But I have so much anger toward our mother, and toward Rakepick. “He was her son. He was…” My voice breaks for a moment. “He was her _ child _. And I watched her murder him.” 

Well, there it is. Everyone will know now. Merula didn’t hear it, but the others did. Whatever tactical advantage feigning ignorance might have given me is out the window. And everyone is looking at me. I can hear Beatrice breathing heavily behind me. Ben looks overcome with something - sadness, rage, or some blend of the two. Rowan and I lock eyes, and so much is said without words. They can’t hold me right now, because our wands are still pointed at Rakepick. But they will later. Assuming we’re both still alive. 

“Never apologize for doing what you know in your heart needs to be done.” Rakepick responds curtly. It’s something that she’s said before. She would often repeat lessons verbatim to make sure we “got” them. She doesn’t seem to have broken the habit. “Nina chose to place her responsibilities to R over her responsibilities as a mother. As her child, you have no obligation to forgive her. But if you knew what R was after, you would understand.” 

“Then what are they after?” Rowan demands. 

“Only people who join the Cabal are allowed to know that. Nina is still intending for you to be her successor, Luca. When that happens, you’ll need to take the Vow.” 

She seriously believes I’ll ever join R? Thought she was smarter than that. Ben is staring at Rakepick. "Luca would never join The Cabal. They'd never take your Vow." 

She doesn’t even look at him. “You must realize it's your best option. An Unbreakable Vow. To serve the cause, and never betray the organization. Only the inner circle make the Vow, but it’s a standard procedure, Luca. You have my word - if that still means anything to you. Take the Vow, join our ranks, and you’ll learn everything. If you don’t, then you’ll never know the truth.” 

There’s a pause. Obviously, I want to know the truth. And something tells me Rakepick isn’t lying about this opportunity. Everything I saw in my Memory suggests that Mum wanted Jacob to succeed her. So she’s very likely moved onto me. But joining R? Not a chance. All I want to do is spit on the floor and tell her to go to hell. But something is nagging in my head. 

“You knew.” Is what I finally say. Staring right into her eyes. “You knew when you were sixteen. About the “new world” R wants to create. And you were terrified of them.” Rakepick never shows fear. She didn’t in Flitwick’s memory, and she doesn’t now, but I know her well enough to pick up on the tells. She looks slightly paler. 

“You’ve been talking to the staff. I’m surprised you trust them to be honest.” 

“I don’t need them to be honest. I’ve seen with my own eyes. You were breeding dragons in the Creature Reserve. They figured out what you were up to, and you dueled them.” 

Rakepick’s frown becomes more pronounced. I swear, Jacob. She’s terrified and just very good at hiding it. 

“You...can’t know that. You weren’t there, Jacob was. The dragon imprinted on him, not you.” 

“I know a lot more than you think.” I respond, doing my best to sound ominous. She doesn’t even realize that she just let something very important slip, and I’m not going to tell her. If I pretend to know everything, maybe she’ll reveal more. 

Sadly, Rakepick seems to remember herself a moment later. “Enough, this conversation is over. Luca, I’ll ask you one more time to help me open the Sunken Vault. If I have to ask again, you will be sorry. Nina isn’t the only one prepared to kill for the cause.” 

She jerks her head, motioning to the rocks all around us. “The Coral Key is only one of many doorways into this room, but this room is not the heart of the Vault. To open this vault, we need to break a curse with another curse. We need the curse inside you, Luca.” With this, Rakepick nods to my hand. 

I instinctively grab onto it. “The Fawley curse isn’t real. It’s just superstition.” Bad luck, misfortune, anguish...madness….these things have always been said to follow our family, but Dad insisted it wasn’t real. Even as I repeat his tired words though, I know that I’m lying, and that it’s fruitless. Rakepick knows about the Mark of Despair, which is about as much proof as she needs. Even I’ve seen it, when I squint and use my magic eye - the outline of dark magic that surrounds my black star.

Rakepick just shakes her head. “If the curse isn’t real, then you have nothing to lose by helping me. If it isn’t real, then I won’t be able to open the Vault. But we both know that it’s real, Luca.” 

At this point, Beatrice suddenly squeezes the back of my arm conspicuously, so I try to catch her eye without getting Rakepick’s attention. She can’t really signal me too obviously, but she’s staring at the spot beside Rakepick. Where the air almost seems to shimmer. To shimmer in a vaguely human shape. I know a disillusionment charm when I see one. 

Someone is in the room with Rakepick. The others don't seem to have noticed. I suppose my magic eye is helping me catch their aura...though search me if I know why Beatrice caught it. I guess the figure must have apparated in here, somehow, because I don't know how else they got in. Rakepick probably apparated too. Are the Cursed Vaults affected by Dumbledore's Anti-Disapparation jinx? Maybe you can only apparate into one if you've already been there. I don't know. But I strongly suspect the invisible figure is planning to strike while we’re focused on Rakepick. But they think no one has noticed them. If I shift the trajectory of my wand just slightly, I can hit them and they’ll never see it coming. 

“_ Stupefy! _” A blast of red light knocks out Ben. 

...They...they saw it coming. But how…? 

_ “Stupefy! Stupefy!” _The shimmering figure aims a wand and stuns Rowan and Beatrice as well. Rakepick quickly disarms me, though at least this time she didn’t break my wand, and all of a sudden I’m alone and defenseless. But just when I think I’m well and truly defeated, another blast of light actually catches Rakepick by surprise. She’s blown back and knocked out as well. Either the invisible figure betrayed her, or was never on her side to begin with - maybe she only disarmed me out of instinct. Either way, this new person has caught my wand, and now I'm completely at their mercy. 

“_ Finite… _” The disillusionment charm is removed, and the figure is revealed to me. It’s strange. I don’t recognize her, I’ve never seen her before, and yet the way she looks at me...it’s almost like a reunion. Like she knows me. A girl who seems to be about my age, with the same tanned olive skin and dark brown eyes. Wearing armor-like robes similar to Rakepick’s, and thick dragonskin gloves. She has a softer face, like Penny, but eyes as fierce as Liz. Thick dark hair, that flows over her shoulders, longer than mine used to be. I stare at her, not comprehending, as she looks around at Rakepick and the others. 

“Sorry for the scare. But you were staring at me like you were about to open fire. I had to take out Rakepick - she doesn't know I followed her, see." She must pick up on my unease, because she waves a hand. "Relax, I come in peace. I didn't stun you, did I? Well, not yet anyway." She adds thoughtfully, reaching down rummage in Rakepick’s cloak until she tugs something out. Broken pieces of a wand...Jacob, it’s Nina's wand. "You need to take these, and don’t lose them again. I should be able to take you all home via side-along apparition. From there, you can floo back to Hogwarts, or...you could come find me.”

The girl crosses over and hands me the broken pieces of my old wand, sharp bits of hazel with a bright unicorn hair sticking out. Then she reaches into her pocket and withdraws...a Black Quill. Before passing that to me as well. “Transfigure that back if you want to figure out how to contact me. Family comes first, am I right?” 

I stare at her, probably looking at her like she’s mad. “Family? I don’t know you. You’re not my family.” 

The girl gives me a deadpan stare, and simply removes one of her gloves. Holding up her bare hand to reveal...a black star birthmark. 

“I...I don’t understand. How do you have that? Who _ are _ you?” 

“Name’s Gail. And from what they tell me, you’re my twin, Luca.” 

The last thing I see before she stuns me, is her dauntless smile...your smile, Jacob. Then, I’m out cold. 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfectly normal chapter, right? Nothing game-changing at all! 
> 
> (Real talk though, everything is going to come together soon and I can't wait, mwahaha)


	33. The Leaky Cauldron Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Cabal continues plotting, Luca forms an uneasy alliance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year Seven begins, and the final battle with R looms...since Remembrance is completely non-canon by this point, anything goes. Any characters can be killed off. Anything can happen. There could be only one bed. Who knows?!
> 
> Please enjoy :)

** _September 5th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

I’m still wrapping my head around all of this. I guess you must have already known, and that was why Nina did what she did, but the memory charm put my reaction on a delay for six years. Now, on top of mourning you, I find out my sister is alive, and our family is effectively part of a cult. Is this what they mean when they tell you that growing up comes with a loss of innocence? That was something Dumbledore said to me, during the most recent time he summoned me to his office to deliver his sage-like wisdom, after making me stand around for an hour first. We’ve got a routine worked out.

I’ve reached a point of mutual relief with the Hogwarts staff. We still don’t get along, but they know that with my being seventeen, they can’t control me. And I’m at the point where I just can’t really get mad at them anymore. Sure, you carry on manipulating the lives of the children you’re supposed to protect. Do what you do best. Wow, I sound like Beatrice. 

Speaking of Beatrice, she hasn’t dropped the whole goth thing, but at least she’s talking to Penny again. I think having sibling trouble was something she and I bonded over, and now that she knows about you, she’s appreciating Penny a little more. In general, despite everyone now knowing the truth about our mother, everyone is doing a lot better. Well, they don’t know everything. They don’t know about Wormtail, and who Percy’s rat really is - but despite my loyalty to the Weasleys, I’m keeping a lid on that one for now. As long as he keeps playing rat, his options are limited, and I can leverage him in the future. He may be able to feed me information about R, especially since Moody has cut me off. And with Mitten back in the corridors, dear “Scabbers” will think twice about trying anything. 

Jacob, I got Mitten back. I don’t know what Gail did...how she broke the Statue Curse, or if the final vault had any treasure, or what my twin may have done with it...but I just don’t care. My cat is safe and sound. Honestly, whatever side Gail might be on, that alone makes me feel absolutely indebted to her. And I really don’t know what side she’s on. Same goes for Rakepick. And Dumbledore. It seems as though everyone is playing their own game. Well, I don’t want to play. I just want to cuddle Mitten, Tulip and Merula, and have a peaceful year for once. With the Cursed Vaults all having been opened, maybe I can finally do that. 

Oh, that it were that easy, Jacob. 

I spent most of the summer with those three, actually. And Bitten, I guess. Merula has lived on her own since her parents were arrested. She’s got an aunt that’s supposed to be watching her, but just like with Mum, this doesn’t really happen. So Tulip and I brought Mitten and Dennis over and essentially moved in for two months. We’re all seventeen, so Tulip’s law-aligned parents couldn’t really prevent it, but I think she pacified them by telling them she was studying abroad. You know, I still haven’t met them. Apparently, they’re no fan of mine. I’ll never understand why trouble and chaos surround me, Jacob, when I’ve always been a complete cinnamon roll. Our stay was only slightly hampered by Moody posting aurors outside all the time, supposedly for our own safety, but I definitely didn’t like it.

As far as Tulip and Merula go, things are mostly back to normal. Merula still wants to kill Rakepick, but her crush on you had a rather abrupt, harsh ending. Oh yeah, Merula fancied you for a few months. Except, it wasn’t really you. And finding out about what happened to you was a real splash of cold water for both of my partners, but especially Merula. For all of the times that she would taunt me when we were younger about the possibility of you being dead...I’ve never seen Merula look so guilty. Like usual, she wouldn’t admit to it or apologize...but this last summer saw a return to her cuddling us in the bed, and our trio is basically whole again.

Returning to Hogwarts has brought more good news. Rowan has been made Head Boy, and I’ve never seen them so happy. It’s what they deserve, Jacob. They deserve only good things, and all the good things. Now if there was just some way to ensure they make Professor...Rowan was named alongside Badeea, who’s now Head Girl. That one was a bit of a surprise. Not that Badeea doesn’t deserve it, because she absolutely does, but I always just kinda figured it would be Penny. Then again, she was in a deep depression during her first year as Prefect. Not the best record, I guess. 

Penny and Skye are still going strong, same with Jae and Chiara. By this point, I have confirmation - Rowan totally fancies Diego and wishes they didn’t, because they don’t know what to do about it. Yup, know the feeling. I didn’t want to fancy Merula when that started. Three years ago, I might have been annoyed by this, but Diego and I are on much better terms. We’re graduating this year, so why should I hold onto petty grudges? I’ve got greater enemies to slay than an annoying roommate. 

I never contacted Gail. For all I know, she could be an impostor. Let’s just say I have trust issues after the last time. I transfigured her black quill, and it gave me an address, but that could so easily be a trap, and I’ve grown accustomed to recognizing traps. Cinder flies off to the address, delivers a letter, then brings one back, and they tail him, figuring out where I’m staying. After all, I haven’t gone back to Dulcimer Beach. Our old house is empty. My room is gathering dust. I wonder if that Wigtown Wanderers poster Skye’s dad signed is still hanging on the wall…or my Wizarding Wireless Network radio…

In the mean-time, I’m talking a walk. Haven’t been back to the Creature Reserve since I started seventh year, and there’s a lot on my mind. I’ll be glad to see the back of Hogwarts, that’s for sure...but then that? I’m almost certainly going to fail my N.E.W.Ts. (still a lousy student) and it’s not like I really have any marketable skills to begin with. I have experience Curse-Breaking, but for so many reasons...I never want to get involved with that again. I don’t have the skill-set for Healing, either. I suppose I’d be a semi-decent Professor, but then I’d have to stay at Hogwarts for the rest of my life. No thank you. Besides, teaching is Rowan’s thing. 

But I could do something with magical creatures. I’d like that. Creatures don't have an agenda. They never hurt you, or lie to you. They’re far better than people, in general, anyway. I suppose I shouldn’t take shots at the human race because without my friends, I don’t think I would have survived this long. People have tried to kill me before. An attempt on my life at the age of eleven gave me claustrophobia that still persists. But I was saved by...saved...by…

There it is, Jacob. Wandering between the trees. Beckoning to me. Flicking it’s silver tail, just like how Mitten might. There’s no clear and obvious danger this time, no dark creature that the Patronus is here to protect me from. But that’s the Raccoon. I would know it anywhere. I stop in place, and the Raccoon stops moving as well. Approaches me slowly. So I approach as well, mirroring him. Then he turns around, and dashes into the darker part of the forest. Naturally, I move to follow. 

...Wasn’t I just talking about how good I am at detecting traps? Because Merlin’s Beard, Jacob, this was the most obvious trap in the world, and I fell for it. Or maybe I just really wanted answers. My regard for my own safety has always fluctuated a bit. I don’t know who I expected to find, where the Raccoon was taking me or what he was leading to, but surely I would come across his caster? 

Oh. It  _ was _ her. Y’know, I suspected it for a while, but it’s nice to get confirmation. 

Following the Raccoon into the darkest depths of the Reserve, he eventually brings me to a clearing, where two people are waiting for me. Two people that I can honestly say I didn’t expect to see, at least not together. Patricia Rakepick and Albus Dumbledore. Instinct is a powerful thing, and I immediately tug out my wand, only for Rakepick to disarm me. 

“Your reflexes have slowed down, Luca. Two years ago, you would have blocked that.” 

But I’m not looking at Rakepick. It’s not her I’m surprised to see. My fury at Dumbledore has returned in full force, only getting stronger. “What the hell are you doing with her? If I disappear, people will notice, you hear me? Everyone knows I come here! You won’t be able to cover your tracks forever-

“Luca, please.” Dumbledore slowly lifts his hand. I swear, he does everything so calmly. It’s one of the things that frustrates me - he never loses his cool. “It is of the utmost importance that you do not draw attention to this meeting. Madam Rakepick wished to speak with you.” 

“The only reason Dumbledore invited himself is to reassure you.” Rakepick looks as though she’s trying not to smirk. “He believed his presence would prove to you that I could be trusted.” 

I stare ahead at Rakepick, our eyes meet...and we begin to laugh at the same time. You can’t plan this stuff, Jacob. She and I just start cracking up. Dumbledore doesn’t show any discourse, but I doubt he’s amused. Well, he had it coming. The idea that he thinks adding himself to any situation will make it more trustworthy to me, is genuinely funny. 

Finally, Dumbledore interrupts our moment. He’s still very patient, but his eyes aren’t carrying that twinkle they normally do. “Luca, you have expressed in the past that you doubt my ability to look out for my students, but-”

“No, I don’t doubt your  _ ability _ . You  _ could _ do your job. You just won’t. There’s always some bigger picture, some greater good. Something more important to you.” 

I’m not sure why, but for the slightest second, it seems as though Dumbledore starts to twitch, as though he’s been stung. As though my words are hurting him. But he doesn’t care about what I think, right? He takes a deep breath, and shuts his eyes. “The safety of my students will always come first, Luca. And you are one of them.” 

“So was Jacob.” I respond coldly. I know our mother is responsible, but you were still threatened by R on Dumbledore’s watch. Seriously, how is the entire Wizarding World so bewitched by this old man? Every time he speaks, I grow more disillusioned. I think Rakepick senses that, because she chooses that moment to intervene. 

“Luca, Albus Dumbledore is many things. But do you really believe he’s involved with R? Think about it. If he was, then Hogwarts would have fallen years ago.” 

Alright, that’s a good point. But if Dumbledore hasn’t sold out his school, then why is he here with Rakepick? As I look at her, I notice the Silver Raccoon wandering around her ankles, before it finally vanishes into thin air. Jacob, you once said that Rakepick would look out for me. And in your notebooks, you talked about her having saved my life. If she cast the Raccoon, then there’s more going on here. But I don’t trust her, not in a million years. She tortured Merula. And I’d forgive Dumbledore for everything he’s ever done before I absolve Rakepick of that crime. 

“So you’re here to tell me...what? That you saved me from the Lethifold? That you’re pulling a long-con, and working against R?” As I throw out guesses, Rakepick simply raises her eyebrows in response. So I turn my attention to Dumbledore again. “I need to speak with her alone.” 

Dumbledore’s eyes narrow. He looks worried. I think he’s about to refuse, but I anticipate this. “If you really trust her, then it should be no problem, right?” To this, he says nothing. He simply bows his head and departs into the thicket. No way he’s really gone, though. He and Snape were using legilimency on me for years - they don’t respect people’s privacy. So he’ll have cast some sort of disillusionment charm to listen in. I have a back-up plan, though. 

Approaching Rakepick, I remove a Black Quill from my pocket, the one Gail gave me. “It’s time we talked. But we’re doing it my way.” I know she wants my help, there’s no other reason she would send for me this way. She needs me somehow, and that will be my key to controlling the conversation. Picking up my wand, I whisper a spell on the Black Quill. “Portus…” In another second, I’ve turned the Quill into a portkey. Envisioning The Leaky Cauldron as my destination. After all, no one can apparate in the Reserve. “You coming or not?” 

Rakepick gives me a calculating, appraising stare, before reaching out to touch the Portkey. Once the journey is over, she looks around at the pub, which is busier after nightfall. She chuckles. “The place we met for the first time? Is this your idea of poetry?” 

No, Rakepick. This is my idea of an open, public location that isn’t shady. But I’m sure she knows that. I sit down at a booth that’s within the sightline of the barman, and motion for her to do the same. Once she does, I lean forward slightly. “What is it you want, Rakepick? What are you after, what are you getting out of all this?” 

She says nothing. She simply stares at me. Like always, she’s cool as a cucumber. Clearly, this is not a question that’s going to be answered. So I try another route. “My mother doesn’t know you’re here. She doesn’t know you’re communicating with Dumbledore.” It’s only a guess, but Rakepick’s expression seems to indicate that I’m right.Good, I found the place to press.

“So what is this? Who’s side are you on?” 

A twisted smile crosses her face. “A Curse-Breaker with two Masters serves only herself, Luca Fawley.” 

“But the Vow. You said the inner circle swears an Unbreakable Vow. So you can’t betray R, not without dying.” 

“You’re thinking too simply, Luca. The Vow we take only has two stipulations - serve the cause, and never betray the organization. I don’t intend to betray R.” 

There’s a pause, and it occurs to me at last. “My mother. You’re going to turn on my mother.” 

Rakepick offers a noncommittal shrug. “Nothing in the Vow forbids a member from conspiring against the Director, if they were so inclined. Not so long as they remain loyal to the Cabal itself. Our cause is eternal. But the Director? Nothing more than a title that has already changed hands several times. Your mother killed the last Director to take their place. Such an act did not violate  _ her  _ Unbreakable Vow. A few hypothetical conversations will not break mine.” 

It doesn’t surprise me, Jacob. I’ve already had to make peace with the fact that our Mum is a murderer. Not to mention, she’s the Director of R. She’s the one pulling the strings. Merlin, if Moody was still in contact with me, he would go mad for this kind of intel. Yeah, well, his loss.

Rakepick leans back against her chair. “You can see my dilemma, Luca. Having taken the Vow, I cannot betray the secrets of the organization. There is so much I could tell you about The Cause, and about our plans...but you’re still an Outsider. You are not one of us. Telling you the truth...that  _ could _ violate my Vow. But...if you were on the inside, we could work together like we used to. Don’t you see? You can learn everything you want, and you don’t even have to side with Nina.” 

Liar. This is poison, sweetened with sugar. I’m slowly shaking my head. Because Rakepick clearly needs me for something. If members of the Cabal can flat out assassinate the Director without breaking the Vow, then Rakepick would have done that already. “You’re right, Rakepick. If I join you, I’ll learn everything. I’ll have the chance to avenge my brother, and settle things with my Mum. I’d get a lot out of joining you.” 

  
Rakepick stares at me. The glint in her eyes shifts slightly, and I know she can tell. At first it would seem like her manipulation worked, but the more I talk, the more clear it becomes that it worked too well. 

“But what is it that _you_ get out of it?” I continue softly. “What could you possibly gain from getting your old apprentice back?” She and I both know that there are lines I won’t cross. I refused to learn the Cruciatius Curse, and the Killing Curse, when I had the chance. Rakepick had two years of watching me to learn that I’m not “R” material. Sure, she needed my legilimency to open the Underground Vault, and I guess she needed the Fawley Curse to open the Sunken Vault. But that was then, this is now. 

Rakepick slowly clasps her hands together, looking tense. “A Throne does not make a Queen. I could kill Nina tonight, and declare myself the Director tomorrow. I’d be dead within the week. I’ll admit, I’m a powerful witch, but I’m only human. R operates worldwide. When your mother killed Orion, she’d already made a name for herself among the big-shots of the Cabal. She had support. Suffice it to say, I’m not very popular. But the Fawleys have been a part of R for centuries. Ever since you were cursed. With your support, I could garner new allies."” 

Great. Her meaning is clear. She knows the truth about our family, or is pretending to, and she's keeping it to herself until she gets what she wants. This is compounded by my feeling a twisted sense of kinship once again, for our mutual issues with authority figures. So Rakepick wants to be in charge. Not surprising, as I've never known her to take orders from anyone. What is surprising is the idea that the Fawleys have always been in R. That has to be a lie...right? There's something else, too. Something sticking in my head about what she just said. Could be a coincidence, in fact it has to be, but still. “Orion?” The same name as my old Quidditch Captain. But he can’t have been involved, surely…

“Orion Black. He was the Director before your mother.” 

Black...no, it can’t be. Tonks’ family. Well, her mother’s family. The ones who...who cursed us in the first place. Either Nina and Rakepick are working together to set me up, or... I stare at Rakepick, trying not to give away any emotion. “The Blacks are part of R?” 

Rakepick offers another shrug. “Plenty of the former death-eater families are. Travers...Rowle...even weaklings like Wormtail have sought to join our numbers. But only the top operatives take the Vow. Your mother still intends for you to succeed her...but we both know you don’t crave power. Help me, Luca. Settle the score with your mother. Wouldn’t you rather I was calling the shots than her?"

Damn. A question for the ages. I honestly don’t know who’s worse. 

“Everyone’s heard about you already, and your potential in Curse-Breaking. There are still other Vaults we have yet to open, in other schools. If you were to join, you could get comfortable among the bigshots rather quickly. With your experience, and your skill set, not to mention carrying the name Fawley? You’d be set up for life.” 

Wormtail was a Death Eater? Why am I not surprised. I’ll admit Jacob, the offer is tempting. Joining R would give me a lot of access. It would give me sway among their top members. It would give me crucial information. But none of this is going to be available unless make an Unbreakable Vow, and that’s just not gonna happen. But the other schools...they’re in danger. And Gail...where does Gail fit into all this? There’s nothing else for it. I’ll have to contact her. But in the meantime, I can’t let this lead disappear into the shadows. I’ll play nice, at least for now. I have an idea.

“Alright Rakepick, you’ve got a deal.” 

Love, Luca.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luca isn't really going to join the Cabal....are they? 
> 
> Heheh. Stay tuned, my lovelies! Thanks for reading!


	34. Sibling Rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca reaches out to a long-lost family member, but someone else may hold the answers they seek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many chapters we'll have after this one...three? Four? We're definitely close to the end. 
> 
> Once again, no prompt, but all kinds of developments! Hope you enjoy!

** _October 13th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

A deal with the devil. That’s what I’ve made. This is what I’m doing with my life. Taking more risks, even after the Vaults are all open. I agreed to meet with Rakepick over the holiday and take the Vow. To properly join the Cabal. 

Now, don’t mistake me for an idiot. I’m not actually going to make an Unbreakable Vow. But for the time being, I need her to think that way. I need her to see me as an ally. If she didn’t, she might try to kill me. I don’t see why she wouldn’t. She had no qualms with torturing Merula. In the Underground Vault, she likely would have killed us all if Snape hadn’t given me that Garroting Gas. Man, what kind of school _ is _ Hogwarts if the staff can give students deadly weapons...and be justified in doing so? 

Never mind. The second I got back to Hogwarts, I recruited my gang. Well, everyone who wasn’t stressed to hell, studying for N.E.W.T.s. In the end it was Tonks, Tulip, Merula, and Jae. I brought them up to speed on everything, and the mission was clear. Find a way to nullify or negate an Unbreakable Vow. Within two weeks, we had something. I ran the idea by Rowan, the smartest person I’ve ever met, and they seemed to think it would work, though I don’t think they approved of my putting myself in that kind of danger, not one bit.

Still. It should work. There is no known way to escape an Unbreakable Vow, once it’s been sworn. So the answer is to render the swearing of the vow invalid somehow. And going off Tulip’s research, it’s all in the name. The bonder of an Unbreakable Vow addresses you by name, when asking if you’ll fulfil the Vow’s demands. You say that you will, and the Vow is set in stone. But what happens if you’re addressed by a name that isn’t yours? Well then, the Vow doesn’t count, does it? With Merula’s help, I double-checked the restricted section, and there is one precedent for this being done, and working. The book doesn’t go into details, but it involved a wizard called Bartemius Crouch. II wanted to be certain this had been successfully done before, because I’m not about to risk Tonks’ life on this. We have to be sure.

It’s simple - Tonks is going to be me. She’s going to use her powers to transfigure herself into my shape. When taking the Vow, she’ll be addressed as Luca, when asked if she will honor the terms. It’s like signing a form with someone else’s name. No one is bound to that contract. Of course, because this has been done before, Rakepick might very well know about it. Which is why Merula and I will be there, in cat form, as back-up. Easy enough to pretend we’re Mitten and Bitten, right? Even if I...don’t look...anything like...oh, to hell with it. We’re practically identical, but don’t tell Merula I said so. 

There’s one more issue - legilimency, and that’s the one problem we haven’t quite worked out yet. Rakepick could easily try and read Tonks’ mind. I’ve felt her trying to poke around in mine before, though she never seems to get very far. Maybe she doesn’t want me to notice. Either way, if Rakepick reads Tonks’ mind during the Vow, everything falls apart. So Tonks is training in Occlumency with Bill, but I’d rather have a more failsafe method of protecting her identity. 

This is where Gail comes in, ideally. If anyone can help me right now, she can. I’ve finally contacted her, Jacob. After all, I’m living at Hogwarts right now. So it’s not like tracking the owls I send would tell her anything she doesn’t already know. If she really wanted to attack me, she knows where I’m staying. Even so, I want to get more intel. So, after a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks to coax him into helping, I’ve enlisted Talbott. Golden Eagles are twice the size of Owls, and far more ferocious. So if Gail tries anything, I believe Talbott will be quite adept at defending himself and escaping. 

Or so I thought. A few days after Talbott leaves the school “to visit family” I receive a message from an Owl who is definitely not him. 

  
  


_ “Nice try, Luca. _

_ Don’t worry about Talbott. He’s safe. Actually, we’ve become good friends. But if you’re going to send someone to spy on me, try a little harder next time. We’ll be out in the Courtyard at midnight tonight. I hope I can trust you to come alone. _

_ All my love, Gail” _

  
  


How did she know? How did she know he was an Animagus? In one fell swoop, she’s completely seized all the power. I could bring Merula as Mitten, but such disguise work didn’t exactly fool Gail the first time. This is getting way too dangerous. I should never have involved Talbott. And I shouldn’t involve anyone in his rescue. Well, maybe it isn’t a rescue. Maybe he really is fine. But I’ll believe that when I see it. So as per Gail’s wishes, I come to the Courtyard alone. Well, that was the plan, anyway. 

Entering the Courtyard and approaching the fountain, I look around swiftly. My hand in my robes, clutching my wand. “Talbott?” 

“Right here. It’s okay, Luca.” 

I whirl around. Gail and Talbott are there. Talbott looks fine, and Gail looks smug, leaning up against the wall. I feel myself exhale and lose tension in my body. But then it returns a moment later. “Just need to confirm that for a moment. _ Revelio _!” 

...Nothing? Okay, nothing. We’re good. Talbott is staring at me like I’m insane, which I can’t really blame him for. But after Wormtail impersonated you for close to a year, I take no chances. Gail is snickering in the corner, before she chimes in. “I told you, he and I are friends. I mean, he won’t admit it, but he likes me.” Seeing the look on his face, Gail shrugs. “Whatever, he was never a prisoner, how bout that?” 

“Fine.” Talbott rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t a Prisoner. She figured me out immediately, and insisted that I change back or she’d take your letter and throw it in the fire. I hadn’t come all that way for nothing, so I caved. She promised not to tell anyone about my ability, so you better make sure she keeps that promise, Luca.” Talbott adds warningly. 

I can only nod vaguely, staring at my sister as she chews on her lip. God, Mum does that too. She looks affronted.“Oh come on, I was the one getting tricked. And _ you’re _ the one with trust issues? Doesn’t seem fair.” 

I just shake my head. “I’ll take it from here, Talbott. Thanks for your help.” Talbott glances downward, muttering something about how it’s not a big deal, before turning to leave. Now alone with Gail, I approach her. Still disbelieving. “How? How can you be alive?” 

She stares right back. “Me? They told me _ you _were dead. I’ve only been back in Britain for a year, you know. I didn’t know you were alive until I overheard Rakepick.” 

“Just tell me what’s going on. Please.” 

“What’s going on is that Rakepick is trying to kill Mum. Why do you think I’m here? Mum runs the show in the Cabal, and Rakepick cares for no one but herself. I can’t take her on alone, so I was seeking allies. And then I learned about you. That you were alive.” She grabs my arm, a twinkle in her eyes. Jacob, we have the same eyes. Whoever Gail might be, I don’t think she’s an impostor. And yet…

“So you’re trying to protect our mother?” 

I suppose my tone must have been more stand-offish than I meant it to be, because Gail lets go of my arm, looking slightly suspicious now. “Yes? Of course I am. She’s family.” 

Oh my god. She doesn’t know. Of course she doesn’t know. And now I have to be the one to say it. I have to be the one to tell her. “Listen, there are some things you don’t know about Mum. If you knew her like I do-” 

“What is this, the teenage angst hour? I don’t care what beef you have with her. She’s our mother. Didn’t she raise you? I only met her a couple years ago...but you’ve grown up with her.” Gail’s brow furrows more. “You’re just going to stand back while Rakepick plots against her?” 

“...Well, yeah.” Is all I can say. I’m finding it hard to explain the full story. The words aren’t coming. Gail is looking at me like I’m an acromantula. She takes another step back. There’s a pause. In a way, her question brings me to heel. Because I’m not just standing back. I’m supposedly going to help. For the first time, it occurs to me that I’ve been conspiring to kill my own mother. Does that make me the same as her? Am I a bad person because the thought of Rakepick killing Nina doesn’t phase me?

“This was a mistake.” Gail finally murmurs, looking away. “You don’t care about family at all. You’d side with your mentor over your mother, no matter what kind of person she is, just because...what? She’s “cool?”

“She’s right, Luca. You can’t trust Rakepick.” 

Suddenly, a third voice, coming from the shadows. Gail jumps. For a moment, I think she’s going to turn on me, since I said I would come alone. And I did - but it seems I was followed. And the eavesdropper is making themselves known. But no, Gail’s face doesn’t reflect anger, just shock. Because she knows that voice. And so do I.

“Ben?” I stare at one of my oldest friends as he steps out of the dark. “What are you doing out here?” 

He isn’t looking at me though. He’s looking at Gail. She’s gazing back at him, and her lips are trembling. Then, without another word from either of them, they rush to each other and embrace. Leaving me standing there like an idiot, wondering what on earth is going on. When they break apart, Gail suddenly seems much happier. Glancing over at me, her old smirk returns. 

“Blood sibling, meet foster sibling.” 

I stare at both of them, as Ben looks sheepish. “I didn’t know, Luca. I never knew she was your sister. I didn’t even know you had a sister. But she’s right. Whatever your mother’s done, Rakepick is worse, believe me.” 

Here it is at last. I always knew Ben was keeping things from us, I just never knew what. So I take a deep breath, approach Ben, and poke him in the chest. “Then tell me everything, “new” Ben. And I don’t leave out a single detail.” 

So they tell me everything. 

Gail and Ben grew up together in Wools Orphanage. Gail doesn’t know how she got there, or why she and I were separated. But the two of them were finally adopted at six, by Patricia Rakepick. She raised them, until the age of eleven. Only to separate them, sending Ben to Hogwarts, and Gail to Ilvermorny. It’s Gail that Nina has been going to visit, not her parents. This was after Rakepick stopped visiting her, after her third year. She came to Hogwarts, and when she did, she completely ignored Ben. Acted like he didn’t exist. Which suited Ben quite well, as apparently Rakepick was...well, neither of them uses the word “abusive” but...the implication is there. 

All this time. Rakepick knew about Gail, and didn’t tell me. Ben knew about Rakepick, and didn’t tell me. Is there no one I can trust? Well, there are plenty of people I can trust. But I really hate growing up, Jacob. Do you remember how I had a falling out with Rowan because they were so suspicious of Ben? Oh, how young I was. Sitting down by the fountain, I stare up at both of them. I look at Ben first. “She needs to know.” 

“Is this about Jacob?” 

Gail’s words stun me. I stand up, looking at her. “Wait...you know about that?” 

Gail rests a hand on her side, her eyes narrowing. “I know that our older brother was out of control. I know he threatened the cause. I know our mother killed him to protect you, and sank into a spiraling depression afterward. Is _ that _ why you hate her?” 

Now Ben and I are both looking at her. Ben is backing away slowly. Gail frowns. “Don’t look at me like that. Jacob was trying to destroy everything. He was going to ruin the new world. What, you think Mum liked doing what she did? You think a day goes by that it doesn’t haunt her? She sacrificed everything, more than you or I ever could, to make the world a better place. I aspire to be like her.” 

No...no no no...Gail no. You can’t be...don’t say things like that. Please...  
  
Gail suddenly draws her wand. As I pull out mine, though, she simply adopts a more melancholy expression. “Sorry, Ben.” She says softly, before flicking her wand to the side and knocking Ben out with a stunner. I waste no time, aiming to disarm Gail, but she blocks it easily. We circle each other now, wands still levelled. 

“Gail, come on...you can’t be serious. You’re one of them?” My heart is sinking. I thought I finally had a member of my family back. But Gail is part of R...for just a little bit of time, I had hope. It wasn’t that bright, but it was there...and now it’s gone. 

“What do you think Rakepick was doing with us all those years, playing patty cake? I was trained for this. I took the vow when I was thirteen! While you and Jacob were playing on the beach, while you had full meals and warm beds...while you were with Mum... I was with Rakepick.” Her voice breaks for a moment, and the arm holding her wand trembles. 

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that. I can’t undo the last seventeen years. If I could...god, the things I would do. “Gail...you may know Mum, but you never knew Jacob. He was good. He was caring, he was loyal and stubborn and…” _ He was just like you. _ That’s what I want to say. Because it’s true. It’s how I know this girl isn’t a fraud...she’s so much like you, Jacob. It’s uncanny. It makes me feel weird. “And she murdered him. I saw it happen, she wasn’t conflicted. She didn’t care. Her son was nothing more than an obstacle. If she told you that it destroyed her, then she lied.” 

“You never talked to Mum about all this, did you? After you found out?” Gail raises an eyebrow, still glowering at me. “Never even gave her the chance. I’ve seen what it did to her, Luca. She couldn’t even use magic for four years. I once had to talk her down from the top of a building! You have no idea how much killing Jacob broke her.” 

“Well excuse me if I don’t care.” I snap back. “She killed her own child. She obliviated me. And now I’m supposed to forgive her because, what? She felt bad about it? She _ should _ feel bad, Gail.” Even as I say this, Dad’s words echo in my head - ‘Guilt can be its own form of punishment.’ It’s something I’ve always believed...no. No, screw that. Some crimes are too severe. Jacob, Dad wouldn’t forgive Mum if he knew what she had done to us. I’m sure of that.

“I blamed him, you know. Rakepick told me that Jacob obliviated me, and I believed her. I resented him for it. I resented Jacob for what Nina did. That memory charm completely devastated my mental health! Do you know how many times I was in the Hospital Wing? I lost count!” 

Gail is now looking troubled, but she doesn’t lower her wand. Her posture is still hostile. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Even Mum doesn’t know why it did...memory charms don’t work like that, Luca. We almost seem to have inherent resistance to them.” 

I frown, staring into her malcontented face. “What are you talking about?” 

She takes a deep breath. “According to Rakepick, your mind was fighting the memory charm for six years, before you finally broke through. That’s not normal. Then Wormtail reports that his memory charm on you failed entirely. Mum had the same issue with Jacob.” 

Gail looks aside, thinking aloud. “You probably won’t care, but she tried everything to make him behave. She tried wiping his memory too, more than once. It made him a bit dizzy for a while, but when he recovered, he still remembered everything. It’s like he was completely immune. Then she tried placing him under the Imperius Curse - but he threw it off immediately. God knows who taught him how to do that...Jacob was unstoppable, Luca.” 

My mind is swirling, as it now occurs to me just how odd my case really was. I’ve never heard of anyone else having mental battles to recover a memory they lost. In every other case, they don’t know that they lost a memory. There’s something else, too. Wormtail told Nina that his memory charm failed. How much does she know? I was so sure he wouldn’t tell her. 

“Mum was prepared to let him go. She was prepared to let Jacob make his own way, and reject his responsibility to R. All he had to do was walk away, Luca. But he couldn’t even do that. The Cabal was in danger. After he opened the Sunken Vault, Jacob took the treasure we needed. He was unstoppable. He was going to destroy everything Mum and I have worked for. Everything the Cabal has worked for.” 

“Maybe he was right to do that! For all I know, the Cabal is evil! What is it, Gail? What exactly _ is _ R? Why is it called that? What are you guys after?” 

Her face falls again. “I can’t tell you that. Not until you take the Vow.” 

For a moment, I can experience nothing but frustration. I’m so tired of hearing that. But that’s when I hear something. The faint sound of groaning, as Ben starts to stir. Gail looks stricken. I think that whatever else is happening, she really wants to keep him out of it. But hitting someone with a stunner as they’re just waking up from another is...potentially not great for their health. According to Madam Pomfrey, anyway. So she hangs back as Ben wakes up, looking around. “What happened…?” 

Oh god. I’m not a warrior, Jacob. Not really, not in my heart. I’m a healer. Even if I have absolutely no skill in Potions or Herbology, caring for people is what I do best. So I drop my wand arm and move to help Ben up. “Are you okay?” Gail looks on with a guilty expression, as Ben rubs his temple. 

“Reckon so. Nah, I’m fine. Nothing I can’t handle. Where’s Gail?” He looks up to see her, and suddenly I realize her eyes are welling with tears. You’ve gotta be kidding me. She’s a cryer too? Is this what it’s like to have a twin? Having someone who is basically the same person as you? I’ll have to ask Fred and George later. 

Gail rubs her eyes swiftly, glancing down to avoid Ben’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Ben. But you can’t tell them anything, alright? Don’t make me Obliviate you…” 

Y’know Jacob, I may not be a warrior, but I am a protector. The second Gail even mentions the idea, I’m on my feet. “_ Expelliarmus _!” I think I really caught her off guard, because her wand goes flying and Ben is the one to catch it. I lay a hand on his shoulder and glare at Gail. “Ben’s memories are not yours to take, you hear me?” God, she’s going to turn out just like our Mum, if she already thinks obliviating people is an acceptable solution to silence them. 

Keeping my wand aimed at Gail, I glance down at Ben, who’s frowning at her. I don’t think she realizes how much her threat may have hurt his feelings. But a second later, Ben speaks up. “Using magic to make me behave, huh? Guess Rakepick rubbed off on you more than I thought.” 

  
Oh, that stung her. Those words cut deep. Gail looks like Ben struck her. Her jaw is set as her eyes dart between me and Ben. “You think I learned a lot from her? Luca’s going to let her kill my mother and not lose a minute’s sleep over it. I’m trying to create a better world! Luca just wants to get back at Mum for protecting them!”

“Jacob was the one protecting them, Gail. Your mother was going to induct them into a cult!” 

“We are not a cult!” She shouted back. Merlin, if voices don’t get lower, then we might wake someone up.

“They made you take the Vow! You were thirteen, and they made you swear an oath that will kill you if you ever break it! Face it Gail, Remembrance isn’t helping anyone. They only care about themselves!” 

Remembrance…? Is that what it stands for? I think it must be. Because Gail has frozen. She almost looks like she’s been petrified by the statue curse. For his part, Ben also seems to realize that he’s said far too much. My sister lifts a hand, as though reaching out to him blindly. “Ben…” She whispers. “You need to stop. You aren’t supposed to know these things. I covered for you, remember?” 

Ben’s eyes squint shut. I think he can feel my staring at him, because instead of Gail’s plea, he answers my wordless questions. “She’s right. They were going to wipe my memory after what I found out. Gail told them that _ she _ was the one who stole the letter, not me. They tried to obliviate her, but it didn’t work...so Rakepick made her take the vow.” 

“She always knew.” Gail murmurs, more to herself. She’s turned profile to stare out at the fountain. “Rakepick told me, after I took the Vow. That she knew you were the one who had the letter. But she could never find it, even after searching your dormitory.” 

So it was Ben...they made Gail make an Unbreakable Vow because she was protecting Ben? What was in that letter, what secrets does Ben know about the Cabal? Both of them are now looking quite pained. Gail suddenly turns and approaches me, looking desperate. 

  
“Luca, you have to join. Once you’re inside, you’ll see the good that we do. Ben’s never been to one of the Inner Circle’s meetings, he doesn’t know-”

“I know what they did to me.” 

His voice is quiet, but steadfast. Gail’s face falls again. “No, Ben. That’s classified. Luca needs to take the Vow.” 

  
“I never took it.” Ben slowly looks up, an almost maddened look on his face. “I don’t have to mince words. I can say whatever I want. Rakepick isn’t at Hogwarts anymore, sis. Luca needs to know what Remembrance did to me.” 

Gail looks as though she’s going to cry again. She moves closer to hug Ben, but I put myself between them. “Nice try. Ben, keep a tight hold on her wand.” Oh, that got her angry. Her eyes are flashing just like Mum’s eyes. 

“When I was a kid, Rakepick used to feed me these weird, pink potions. I mean, I know now that they were potions. When I was little, I just thought they were medicine. But she told me that they would give me special powers...and I was too scared to say no. So I drank them. Then...weird things started happening to me. Hot flashes. Nightmares. Sleepwalking...sooner or later, I realized I could make teddy move without touching him.”

At this point, Gail cuts him off. Looking irritated. “So we’re just telling them everything?” But I shush her, as Ben carries on. 

“Rakepick told me I was special. That I was the beginning of the new world, and I’d be going to a new school. I didn’t know what she meant, until I found the letter she wrote, to a man called Orion. She...she told him that “_ Patient Zero was a complete success _.” She told him she had taken the mundane, and made it magical.” 

I feel a familiar sensation taking over my body. A kind of cold emanating from my core. I’m quite used to having anxiety by now. “So...you were a muggle...and she turned you into a Wizard?” 

Ben is starting to look like he’s going to have a panic attack, so I just hug him as he cringes, nodding. Suddenly, everything makes sense, and nothing makes sense at all. Ben hugs me in return, and starts weeping. There was a time when I considered this boy a little brother. For the first time since fifth year, it feels that way again. 

Gail says nothing at first. She just watches us with her nostrils flaring slightly. It almost seems like she’s jealous that Ben went to me for comfort, and not her. “But...aren’t you happier now? Aren’t you better off? You have magic. You didn’t have magic before. You’ve been blessed.” 

...Yeah, she clearly hasn’t talked to Ben in years. Or she’d know that, at least for him, this was no blessing. I feel sad saying it, because it would mean that he and I never met, but I truly believe Ben would have been happier if he had never come to Hogwarts. If it wasn’t for my friends, for Tulip and Merula, I know I’d feel that way myself. 

“Gail, Ben didn’t consent to this. He was a child. Rakepick drugged him.” 

Gail waves a hand dismissively. “We already know she’s horrible, Luca. But the process...you can’t tell me you think The Invigorium Potion is a bad idea. Think about it! The wall between the magic and non-magic worlds coming down, to create a new world. One without bias, one without inequality. We’ve suffered at each other’s hands for too long. It’s time to create a paradise, a world worth remembering. If you stand against that, then you’re no better than Jacob.” 

Suddenly, I know what I have to do. Taking Gail’s wand back from Ben, I pass it to her as a gesture of good faith. “Sounds great to me, actually. Wish you had just said so from the start.” Ben makes a noise behind me, but I stamp on his foot. Sorry, Ben. But you need to trust me. “What do you say we meet up over the Winter Holiday? I’m ready to take the Vow.” 

Gail grins brightly, and pulls me into a hug. Oh god, she uses the same clove-scented shampoo as Merula. That’s a distraction I don’t need. Pulling back, she takes another black quill out of her cloak and passes it into my hand. “Just use that address. It’s called Grimmauld Place. We’ll meet up there on the first day of Break, yeah?” 

I nod, and Gail gives me two thumbs up before approaching Ben and trying to help him up. However, when she does, he shoves her hand away. Not saying anything. Not even looking at her. Gail’s face falls for just a moment, before her resolve returns. Without another word she strides off into the night. But years of playing this game has taught me not to let my guard down, so when Ben glares me me, gasping “How could you?” I don’t immediately answer him.

I move closer, and, despite his resistance, I pull him into another hug. Whispering in his ear. “Come on Ben, don’t you know me better than that? I fed Rakepick the same story. We’re going to catch them both.” 

  
At this, he relaxes more. Sorry, Gail. But Ben’s right. The Cabal is a cult. I don’t know if allowing muggles ( _ who consent _) to turn into wizards is a good idea. I’ve got too much on my brain to think about that right now. I’ll let it stew and come back to it later. But what I do know is that, good idea or not, that kind of power shouldn’t be in the hands of Nina and Rakepick. We’re going to stop them. Wherever you are out there, Jacob, I hope you’re proud of me.

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did there? I bet you thought the motif of memory was over! But now we finally know the truth about Ben...and about R. 
> 
> If you think I've forgotten any of my plot threads, I assure you that I haven't. You shall see. Thanks so much for reading!


	35. Hell on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they get further in their investigation, Luca must visit a terrible place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of this as the calm before the storm. And this chapter isn't even that calm. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

** _November 17th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

Sometimes, I really don’t like myself. To be more accurate, I don’t like how I deal with trauma, or pressure. This is something Penny and I have talked about at length, occasionally with Beatrice as well. Apparently, Beatrice has taken to the idea of sleeping beside someone to help deal with nightmares, usually Penny or Skye. Merula’s also seen her in the Slytherin Dungeons once or twice. She’s also considering Animagus training, and I can testify firsthand that becoming an animal...well, it helps. You don’t become any less aware, but it’s like you don’t have to deal with all of it at once. Your anxieties are kept at bay. If that can help Beatrice, then I’ll be glad if she does it. But on the other hand, I’m not so sure she should follow my footsteps. 

Because I don’t like how I’ve turned out, Jacob. I’ve become aware of this recently. I used to be so much nicer. Penny cracks under pressure very easily, but I only grow stronger - and strength is not inherently good. It just depends on the type. Ben told me, when we talked about everything, that part of the reason our friendship has been more distant recently is because of the way I’ve been acting. He wanted a role reversal of the way we’ve always been, to help me heal. He also wanted to protect me from Rakepick, knowing what she was like - that was the reason he kept insisting on coming to open Vaults. Rakepick’s betrayal, her torturing Merula...instigated “New” Ben. An embrace of the magic that flows in his veins, the magic Rakepick put there - using that very power to take her down. He and I have agreed, though, it’s better to strike a balance. 

He told me what little he could about “Remembrance” but all he knew was that they always wear long, red cloaks (though he recalls seeing one wizard wearing white, in a faint memory.) that the Cabal is indeed called Remembrance, shortened to R, and Rakepick always intended for Gail and Ben to join - a plan that petered out when Ben proved to be an inept wizard. He’s been holding back all these years, for that reason alone. Some of the oldest Pureblood families usually run the show in Remembrance, but Rakepick, and later Gail, insisted profusely to Ben that the Cabal isn’t anti-Muggle, quite the opposite. They fought against Grindelwald and You-Know-Who. I suppose it all comes down to that “new world” they want to create, with no statute of secrecy. You always used to call it a guideline, Jacob. Is this...is this what you meant? 

Ben didn’t know much. But I had one other source of information to tap. One other lead, one final debt that needed paying. I never told anyone who “Scabbers” really was, in anticipation of this day. Rowan and I, with the help of Mitten and Bitten (ever since Mitten was frozen, he and I have been getting along better, if only slightly) we were able to trap Wormtail and force him once again to revert into human shape. With Rowan’s cedar wand pointed right in his face, and my silver lime wand at the back of his head. Jacob, it was barbaric. We never tortured him or anything, I could never condone that sort of thing...but it was clear that Wormtail wasn’t sure if that was on the table or not...and we didn’t reassure him. Isn’t that just as bad? I felt sick afterward. Even Wormtail isn’t worth behaving like this. 

Still, every step we take leads us closer to solving the mysteries of Hogwarts and Remembrance. I held nothing back. 

“Wormtail, you wore my brother’s face for months. Let me believe that he was alive. You hurt me, badly. And in return? I covered for you. I so graciously kept silent about who Percy Weasley’s rat really is.” 

“But we’re graduating soon.” Rowan added, looking fierce. “So is Charlie. We won’t be around to protect Percy or the twins if you try anything funny.” 

Wormtail looked between us both, teeth chattering, as I met his gaze coldly. “So the way I see it...we don’t really have a reason not to tell them who you are, unless you give us one.” I reached out to scratch Mitten’s head, before Bitten trotted up beside her, nuzzling her to commence their yin-yang formation.

Wormtail wilted almost immediately, curling up into a nervous ball, trembling violently. “What do you want to know? They don’t tell me much. I never took the Vow. I’m just hired help. I’m worthless! You don’t need silly old me…” 

“You never took the Vow, huh?” Rowan suddenly smirked. I told you Jacob, they have a vindictive side. “If that really is true, maybe you shouldn’t have told us so. After all, if you’re not bound by the Vow, you can tell us anything you know. So start talking. Patricia Rakepick, Nina Fawley, Orion Black. Tell us everything about them.” 

Wormtail realized his mistake too late, and started biting broken nails.“Look, all I know is that Nina’s in charge. All of her orders came through Rakepick, I never even spoke to her. A-and Orion’s dead! I haven’t heard from him in a decade!” 

“What do you know about his family?” I chimed in. “Bellatrix Lestrange, or Sirius Black?” 

Oh.  _ That _ name. That name there. That last one. That sent a shiver down his spine. He really had a terrible poker face. So I leveled my wand. “Are they a part of R? What do you know about Sirius Black?” 

“N-Nothing! Not a thing! He was...he served The Dark Lord! So did Bellatrix! The Death Eaters had their hands full with Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix, but...but some of them were dispatched to handle the Cabal. The Dark Lord...d-didn’t want anyone else interfering at Hogwarts! T-this was back when he was still trying to get a job, shortly before he fell!” 

  
I nodded slowly, remembering what Rakepick told me, about Wormtail having been a Death Eater. He didn’t let on, but if it’s true, this could be when he met Remembrance and decided to switch sides. “Tell me everything you know about the Blacks...and the Fawleys.” 

Both Rowan and Wormtail were looking at me perplexed now, but I took my glove off and revealed the black star. “This mark, recognize it?” 

Wormtail went wide-eyed. “That’s the Mark of Despair. I know it. Rakepick said...she said that was the reason memory charms don’t work on you. Why Jacob was able to befriend that Dragon…” 

“What dragon?” Rowan snapped. 

Wormtail then started crying. And I mean loud, obnoxious bawling. The Artifact Room was pretty quiet, but we were still likely to be discovered if he kept it up. The cats understood that, and Bitten delivered a loud hiss, sobering up Wormtail, before he went back to grooming Mitten. 

“You gotta understand. They don’t share the details with me. Jacob hatched a green dragon. Nina tried to kill it. She tried to wipe his memory of the beast, but couldn’t. The Curse in his blood protected him. Alice Fawley had the same thing. That was why-” He broke off for a second, but one menacing look from Rowan, and Wormtail continued. “T-that was why Bellatrix and her team hunted down Alice and her husband. Least, I think it was...she wanted to know more about the Fawleys too. But I haven’t spoken to her in years. I don’t know what she wanted! She’s in Azkaban, alright? Life sentence. Your trail’s dead. Can I please go now?!” 

I stared back at him. “Dunno, let me ask your captors.” Mitten and I exchanged a glance. Her ears twitched slightly, and she simply flopped lazily onto Bitten. “Mroooww…” I looked back at Wormtail. “One more question, then you can go. Someone’s trying to kill me. Any idea who that might be?” I never suspected Wormtail himself. He always seemed to go the route of flight, rather than fight. He tried to wipe my memory, not kill me. 

Wormtail just shook his head, and with the fear in his eyes, I actually believed he was truthful. “N-no, the Cabal...they don’t kill people. They correct people.” 

Rowan and I looked at each other. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know what Wormtail meant by that. In any case, we decided to let Wormtail go, for the time being. I’m going to alert the Weasleys before the end of this school year, that’s for damn sure. But for the time being, warning the Weasleys would also give Remembrance warning of how much we know. Can’t have that. We need the element of surprise for this to work. So long as we don’t turn Wormtail in, he can worry about whether or not we will. The fear factor can keep him in line. See Jacob, this is what I mean. How messed up do I have to be to think like that? How messed up am I to do what I’ve done today? 

I’m not at Hogwarts. Like Talbott earlier this year, I took a few days off to “visit family.” Maybe Dumbledore won’t buy that, but I don’t really care. Odds are he actually knows about Gail, and has just been keeping her a secret from me. I mean, I have no proof of that but...it would fit his style. So my whereabouts are something that can keep Dumbledore guessing. In the meantime, I’ve come to the wrong place. The definitive wrong place. When you live in our world, the world of witches and wizards, there is one place you must never, ever go. You certainly don’t want to be sent here, and there’s basically no reason to come of your own free will. 

Jacob, I’m visiting Azkaban.

And the stories? They weren’t kidding. It’s gigantic. A pitch black fortress in the middle of the ocean, that seems to stretch on for miles into the sky. Past the clouds. If I fell from one of these ledges, I’d be falling for years before my fall ended. This place isn’t right. It’s so entirely wrong, that I just get this incredible sense that it shouldn’t be here. That none of this should be the way it is. And if you think I have it bad, don’t forget that I’m immune to the Dementor’s joy-sucking abilities. Merula? Merula’s not. And she’s cowering in my neck, clutching at my robes, muttering to herself. 

My Mitten patronus, along with Tulip’s Squirrel Patronus, are wandering around us to help keep everything more bright and cheery, but in the end, it just doesn’t seem to be enough for her. Merula insisted on coming with me, probably wanting to see her parents, and as a result, Tulip wouldn’t hear of letting us walk into danger without her. So the three of us made our way to this monstrosity. And now Merula is faced with her greatest demon - admitting vulnerability. Tulip and I can tell how badly she wants to see her parents. But she’s in no condition to enter Azkaban. She barely made it ten steps before collapsing. Tulip can’t handle it very well, either. So Tulip agrees to return her gently to the boat, and I promise to check in on the Snydes before I leave. Merula will hopefully feel better in a little while, maybe even well enough to see them. 

But first stop on my trip? Sirius Black. This is what it’s come to, Jacob. This is how I’m spending my seventh year. Having an unsolicited meeting with an incarcerated mass murderer. Have I surpassed your level of shenanigans yet? Either way, the Dementors appear to be the only staff to speak of, and they haven’t really directly bothered me yet. It’s not like I’m going to break anyone out, right? I start out at the top floor, where the “A”s are. Moving my way down to the “B”s, I keep following the path until I see what initially looks like an empty cell. With dementors creating unsettling shadows, I start to wonder if my brain is playing tricks on me. We came here in broad daylight, and I still feel as though I could get trapped or cornered at any moment. 

Stepping closer to the cell, I sense shifting movement. Suddenly, a man seems to appear out of a smaller shape...how well hidden was he by the dark? A ragged, gaunt looking man with dark hair and hollow cheekbones comes staggering to the bars. I find myself instinctively backing up. But I’m not the eleven year old who ran from toothless old bartenders anymore. I’m of age, and this bloke can’t be worse than Rakepick. So I step forward again as he stares at me. Frowning for a moment. “Alastor? Can’t be...no, you’re too clean. Nice eye, though.”

I stare at him, before he rubs his own eyes. At first, he seemed as though he were mad. To hear Bill and Charlie’s dad talk, a lot of the inmates are. I heard a few screams on my way up, as well as some sobbing. God, how could a place like this really exist? But Sirius Black...sure, I thought he was crazy when I first saw him, but after pushing his hands through matter hair, he suddenly seems much more coherent. “Sorry, you caught me in the middle of a nap. Do I know you?” 

“You tell me.” I respond passively, keeping any trace of revulsion or contempt from my face. “I’m trying to find some old friends, and I thought maybe you could help.” 

“In-mates?” He peers through the bars. “Sorry kid, but they don’t exactly let you make friends here. Not that anyone would like me in the first place.” 

“Not inside, outside. Before your arrest. Did you know Patricia Rakepick?” 

His dark eyes glint in the light. “A long time ago, yes. We never spoke much after Hogwarts, I’m afraid. She became a world-famous Curse-Breaker and I...well…” He jerks his head towards his cell. “What’s she been up to these days, then?” 

“Curse-Breaking.” I respond simply. “These days, she’s working for an organization called “R.” Just, the letter “R.” That ring any bells? I’m told a man called Orion Black was also working for them. Thought he might be a relative?” 

Sirius Black’s face suddenly darkens, and he glances downward. His voice is rough. “Yeah, I know Orion. He was my Dad, until they disowned me. And if you’re asking about R, you’re in a lot of trouble, kid.” 

Wormtail may not have the best poker face, but I don’t either, clearly. Sirius Black sees my expression, and laughs until he starts coughing. Rubbing his mouth, he blinks twice. “My father wanted me to take over his family “business” after I refused to join Voldemort.” An instinctive stab of panic goes through me as he actually speaks the name, bringing an involuntary shudder, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Said that if I wasn’t going to be useful to the Dark Lord, the least I could do was carry on his legacy. But he was a freak, my whole family was insane. No better than The Fawleys...you ask me, R is just The Death Eaters, but dressed to look prettier. And we were at the heart of it.” 

There’s a lot to unpack here, Jacob, but something is stuck out to me. When he said You-Know-Who’s name…”Hold on, but you  _ did _ join the Death Eaters.” I remind him. “You were their greatest spy. Isn’t that why you're here?” 

Sirus Black leans back slightly and spits on the floor of his cell. “Dunno why I’d bother telling you my story. No one listens. Crouch didn’t. Dumbledore won’t. Don’t know why I’m talking to you at all. Tell you what, kid. I’ll answer the rest of your questions...been awhile since I held a full conversation anyway. But in return, I need you to take a message for me, to a man called Remus Lupin.” 

“Lupin? I know him!” And I do, Jacob. Long story, but he pretty much mentored Chiara during our fifth and sixth years. If this is a deal I need to make, I can do that - and let me tell you, Sirius Black’s eyes light up light stars when he hears my response. For the first time, he actually looks like a human being.

Leaning up against the bars, he stares at me with bloodshot eyes. “Don’t care if you believe this or not, but you need to tell him. He needs to know. I didn’t do it. It was Wormtail, not me. I would never, ever betray Prongs. He needs to know that! Please, kid...I’ll tell you everything I know, just...make sure to give him that message” He falls silent after that, curling up slightly on the floor. Prongs...Wormtail...and Lupin. Suddenly, it all makes sense. 

“You’re Padfoot, aren’t you?” 

He looks up in shock, staring at me. “Who told you that name? Remus?” 

I shake my head. “A friend told me that he mentioned Prongs...and believe it or not, I’ve met Wormtail, here and there. Given Lupin’s...disability, he must be Moony, yeah? Long story short, I found your map. Had it for a while, but it’s disappeared now.” I have a suspicion that the Weasley twins may have found it, but I haven’t confronted them. 

Oh Merlin. Merlin’s Beard. Jacob, he’s crying. This mass murderer is silently crying in his cell. Um, maybe I’m overstaying my welcome here...but I need to know what he can tell me. So I give him a moment...and he regains himself, taking a deep breath. “If you know Wormtail, then you know he’s a two-faced, serf-serving arse. Don’t fall for his little blubbering act. Don’t show him mercy, he deserves none. And don’t trust him.” 

“Don’t, won’t, and don’t.” I reassure him calmly. “But moving past that...what do you know about the Fawleys? Do you know Eric and Nina?” This is it Jacob. Time to see if he knows our parents. 

Sirius looks thoughtful for a moment, his sunken eyes shifting upward. “They would always come to those dreadful dinner parties. Wore gloves everywhere. Eric never talked to me, neither did Nina MacMillan. Alice was the very best of them, though. Never wanted anything to do with R either. Frank could tell right away that she was special. Top Aurors, always going on adventures, even had a sweet baby boy, bout the same age as-” Sirius suddenly breaks off, starting to weep again. 

Starting to think I might need to move on to Bellatrix. Though I’m not looking forward to that. “Just tell me one thing, please...the Marks of Despair. What are they, what do they do?” 

He raises his head, glistening eyes looking into mine. “How should I know? Didn’t they brand those things onto themselves? That was what Alice told me. The Ivigorium Curse, she called it. Galvanized the energy in living things to create magical power...except it usually killed people…my wretched cousins used to say there was a necklace in Borgin and Burkes infused with the same power...”

Invigorium...kills people. The magic in our marks Jacob...it’s the same curse that was in Rakepick’s potion. Must be. Is the Mark of Despair going to kill me? Will the potion kill Ben? I knew it was bad news. More than ever, I know what needs to be done. I’m getting of this damn curse, I don’t care if it was actually self-inflicted by our ancestors. We aren’t chainted to them. And then there’s Sirius...

Jacob, is it crazy that I want to visit him again? I only have so much time, but if he can tell me more information about our parents...about Frank and Alice....I can’t let that go to waste. I can’t believe I’m thanking a serial killer for his help, but here we are. I thank him twice before departing, and even promise to return someday. Then again...he seemed to insist that he was innocent. Sure, that doesn’t mean much, but...all the same. Not everyone does that. Bellatrix definitely isn’t about to do that. 

When I see her up close, after traversing down flights of stairs and making my way to the “L” portion of the inmate alphabet, I get the sense that perhaps she used to be very beautiful. She almost reminds me of Ismelda. Merula and I do agree with Diego on one thing - Ismelda would probably get a lot more attention if she ever smiled, like, at all. And Bellatrix would probably be much more welcoming if she wasn’t so...y’know, insane and evil. If this is what Tonks is afraid to look like, I understand. She’s eyeing me like some kind of bird of prey, playing with her fingers and leaning forward so that a mess of dark hair falls in her eyes. 

“Pretty little boy come to play in my nest...but can he get away before he’s caught in my web?” She cackles in a singsong tone. I open my mouth, before deciding that telling her my pronouns just isn’t worth it. Moving to the edge of the bars, she tilts her head, looking at me like I’m a fascinating new toy. 

“Bellatrix…” I suddenly get an idea. “I need your help.” Before she can respond, I press on. “I don’t know much about you. But I know that you’re no friend to the Cabal, is that right? To R?” 

That got her attention. Her face shifts slightly and she leans in, with a wild smirk. “Ooh, the radicals who want to “create a world worth remembering.” She cackles loudly. “But you can’t be here to  _ fight _ them. No one fights for long. They have a way of...persuading people. Except those of us who remained loyal to the Dark Lord. When he returns, little boy, he will crush such filth along with their mudblood friends.” 

God, she really is insane. As if You-Know-Who could rise from the dead. Even though her words are making me nauseous, I decide against mentioning that I’m very pro-muggle myself. I don’t even like writing the M-Word down, I’m going to try and avoid doing that again. 

“Believe me, we’re going to defeat the Cabal, no matter what it takes. Suffice it to say, this is personal. You lose nothing by helping me, Bellatrix. And if I succeed...you can tell the Dark Lord you helped defeat one of his enemies. Come on, this is a win-win for you.” 

Bellatrix gazes at me, looking repulsed. I think she can tell that I’m trying to manipulate her. But hey, it’s not as though I’m really lying...much. “How do I know you’re really against them, baby boy? You could be a spy for their forces.” 

Time for a more direct lie. I grin. “Because I work for Patricia Rakepick. She’s no friend of the Cabal either. She’s been in contact with Albus Dumbledore. Neither of us can stand the muggle-loving fool, but for the time being, we have a common enemy.” Okay, I embellished a bit there, if you couldn’t tell. I’m not anti-muggle, Jacob! I’m just acting. Trying to get on her good side. It’s the kind of thing Tulip would do. 

Bellatrix is laughing now. It sounds like a dying vulture, honestly. “Good old Patricia, I remember her. We used to take private lessons from one of the Defense Against The Dark Arts teachers, helped me prepare to join the Dark Lord, helped her prepare for...whatever she’s been doing.” 

I raise an eyebrow. “What teacher was that?” 

“Eric Fawley. He and his wife made friends with a number of students before Fawley left. I found out later that they were recruiting for R. Look little boy, you don’t stand a chance against them. Only the Director can declare the “Cause” to be fulfilled. You want them gone? Find some way to convince Orion to end the Cause...and hope he doesn’t get killed before that happens.” Yeah. Little late for that.

Don’t...don’t cry right now, Luca. Do not do it. You can’t, you can’t let her see. Of course, Bellatrix and Sirius could be lying. But they don’t know who I am. They have no reason to deceive me. Bellatrix almost seems to be lost in thought now. “I doubt Fawley thinks much of me anymore, after what happened to baby sister. She did scream so pitifully though! Just pathetic.” 

Without warning, blue sparks fly out of the tip of my wand. I really need to calm down. Keeping a straight face, I look at Bellatrix. “Why did you go after Frank and Alice? What were the orders?” 

She smirks. “No orders. Just wanted some answers. At that time, we didn’t know why the Dark Lord fell...we still don’t. A single infant, defeat the greatest wizard of all time? As if. Crouch and I figured that if Dumbledore wasn’t involved, R had to be.” 

There it is again, that name. Crouch. Sirius said it too. The name from the book...the one who deceived himself out of being bound to an Unbreakable Vow. Bellatrix continues cackling to herself. “They went on and on about not knowing anything...Frank cracked first, started talking about being in two places at once. Sliding, or something. It was a sight to behold...Alice took so long to crack. We were on her all night! No matter how hard we tried, she wouldn’t give. Kept screaming for us to cut her hand off. But in the end, she finally cracked. She and her dear husband looked like a dementor came to call…” 

I feel sick, Jacob. This...is fucked up. I can’t put it any other way, I can’t phrase it any cleaner. Bellatrix is a monster. I really didn’t want to hear about their interrogation. But even so, it’s laced with familiarity. Two places at once...sliding. Could Uncle Frank have been…? 

“In hindsight, I don’t know how Alice held on for so long. I could barely use legilimency on her either. Her mind was iron-cast….” Yeah, I think I know how she held on. I turn away from Bellatrix, clutching my hand, trying to hide my tears. I just walk away. Don’t bid her farewell, don’t say or do anything to announce departure. I just leave. I can hear her calling after me, but to hell with her. 

I wander down another flight of stairs, letting the tears pour. Then another staircase, then another. It sounds like our family really has been involved with R for a long time...and Mum and Dad were both members. Jacob, this is tearing me up inside. I just wish you were here. I wish Mum and Gail weren’t part of this nightmare…I wish I could see Mum the way Gail does, is that crazy? Am I crazy? 

A dementor suddenly appears out of the corner, and glides toward me, but I stand my ground. I’m a visitor. I’ve done nothing wrong...and besides. Their power won’t work on me. 

But...the Dementor passes me by. That’s when it occurs to me, that I’ll need to ask about Merula’s parents. This is going to be dodgy. I’ve never, ah... _ spoken _ , to a Dementor before. But I know that communicating with them is possible. The Ministry does it all the time. Is there a language? It can’t be too complicated. Turning to call out to the Dementor, I decide to take a risk. I know how to cast a Patronus, so if this goes wrong, I’m ready.

“Excuse me, guardsman?” The Dementor stops dead. Agonizingly turns around to face me in a slow drift. Oh god, that worked? I clear my throat, taking two nervous steps closer. “Pardon me, I wish to visit two prisoners, with a shared cell. Nigel and Aurelia Snyde? They should be on this floor, but I don’t see them…” 

The dementor is advancing on me. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if its powers affected me. Even now, I feel rather cold. But that’s all I feel. Still, my hand tightens on the handle of my wand, within my robes. Then...jesus christ, Jacob. The dementor speaks. I’m not kidding. It’s speaking. Like the longest, most echoing whisper I’ve ever heard. 

“Snyde...is not food. Never arrived. Anger, confusion...delicious panic.” It continues to approach, and so I respond in kind, pulling out my wand and pointing it at the advancing dementor. I seriously can’t get used to these things talking. 

“K-keep back now, I’m only a visitor. You have plenty of food already here. What do you mean, Snyde never arrived?” 

“Food called Snyde has never lived in these cells. Do not have those you seek. You are...replacement?” 

Oh my god, no. No, get the hell away. It’s not like they’re breaking into my head the way they did for Merula, but there are two dementors advancing now. I keep my wand levelled, and think back to this last summer, with Tulip and Merula. Whispering the incantation, silver vapor starts pouring out of my wand. I use it to subdue the hungry dementors until I can slip down the staircase to the next floor. Thankfully, they don’t seem to follow me. 

Jacob, I looked through all the S’s before I approached that Dementor. Believe me, speaking to it wasn’t exactly my Plan A. I didn’t see any cell labelled Snyde, and it wasn’t like anyone called out to identify themselves when I was inquiring. The Dementor...god, I still can’t handle the fact that it spoke...but the dementor said that The Snydes never arrived. That doesn’t make sense. They’re in Azkaban...right? They have to be. That’s where they’ve always been…r-right? 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, that's how you know we're getting close to the end. Canon characters, canon characters everywhere! 
> 
> More answers about the elusive Fawley legacy, plus Merula's missing parents, plus a damn talking Dementor. This chapter was fun to write :D please, let me know what you think!


	36. Betrayal is Yet to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca moves to expose Wormtail, only to be confronted by their oldest, deadliest enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's prompt is...oh wait. Sorry, force of habit. 
> 
> After what Luca learned about their family in Azkaban, things couldn't possibly get any worse, right? 
> 
> ...R-right?

** _December 4th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

You know, when I said before that our family was part of a cult...it was mostly hyperbole. But it seems more and more like it was accidentally accurate description. Mum and Dad both worked for Orion before Mum killed him. According to Sirius, The Fawley Curse...The Invigorium Curse, is something we did to ourselves. Probably with The Cabal's help. Maybe we started out as Muggles, and became Purebloods via the Curse? It would make sense. Every witch and wizard can probably trace their lineage back to a muggle-born. Rowan's great grandpa was muggle-born. So was Jae's mum. And Ben...he was a muggle too, in childhood. As much as Merula would hate to admit it, she's got at least one muggle-born in her family tree, and by extension, muggles.

Merula...she was sleeping by the time I rejoined her and Tulip, and we all apparated to Merula's house. It's become something of a home-base. The aesthetic is dark and gloomy but charming in its own way. So in that sense, It suits Merula well. When she was properly awake, she had to hear that her parents are not only missing, but that they were supposedly never made it to Azkaban at all. She didn’t take it well, Jacob. Threw hexes at me and Tulip until we left her alone. Though thanks to my magic eye, I was still able to watch over her. 

It doesn't add up. Even if they were going on the run...wouldn't they come back for their daughter? It's a question that I could see Merula wordlessly asking herself over and over. Peering through the closed door, seeing her pace back and forth in front of the fireplace... the look in her eyes as was devastating. She refused to talk about it, even the next day...but she's clearly wondering if they even loved her at all. I found myself questioning if she would have taken it this hard, if Rakepick hadn’t done so much damage. When I face her, I’m going to pay her back for that. 

There's still so much more to unpack. You tamed a freaking dragon. I met him, too. He had terrible breath. But only I can remember meeting him, and Charlie was there. You'd think he wouldn't forget meeting a live dragon. Rakepick said that I knew things that only you knew...and she's right. You didn't tell me about Welshie, probably because there wasn't time. At one point, I can recall seeing you resurface from the forest entrance to the Black Lake. You had just come from the Sunken Vault...I wasn't present for that either. But I saw it, during one of my mental breakdowns. How? How could I have seen that? Does it have something to do with the Mark of Despair? With legilimency? No, you were already gone by the time I started having breakdowns. In any case, you were learning Occlumency. You said as much, that Snape was teaching you, like he taught me. Combined with the power of our Curse, it’s no wonder that Nina’s mental magic failed. 

There’s Wormtail too. Former Death Eater, agent of Remembrance, and if Sirius Black is to be believed, the true perpetrator of his crime. At this point, Rowan and I have squeezed all potential information we could get out of him. We have no reason left to protect his identity. Sure, it may be rotten to turn him in now, after he gave us information in exchange for our silence. But honor...eh, that’s more of a Gryffindor thing. I’m about loyalty. I’m damn loyal to the Weasleys, and they need to know about Wormtail. Percy and the twins could be in danger if we don’t act quickly. 

So one evening, I proceed to Gryffindor Tower to pay a visit. I haven’t been in there much, compared to Ravenclaw and Slytherin’s Common Rooms, but I’ve still been here enough to know the layout, and leave the Fat Lady irritated with me. I swear Jacob, the idea that no student has ever set foot in another House’s Common Room is an urban myth. Like those stories they tell young kids about having to pass a trial to be Sorted. I refuse to believe that my year was the first ever to visit alternate Common Rooms. That sounds like utter nonsense.

When I get there, though, I’m greeted by Ben, Jae, and Chiara. See! What did I tell you? Chiara spends half her time in Gryffindor Tower with everyone’s favorite dealer. When I ask them about Charlie, they reveal that he’s in the middle of a detention with Snape, after admitting guilt to one of Jae’s pranks. That’s just the kind of friend Charlie is...Percy is over in the Library, no surprises there, and the Twins are nowhere to be found. But that’s typical for them. The only question is who do I approach? Percy might have “Scabbers” with him...but he very likely won’t believe me unless I can force Wormtail to change back, and still maintain control of the situation. Might be easier to get Charlie on my side first. But that would involve getting through Snape. Someone who I haven’t had to see as much since dropping Potions, and I’ve been enjoying the freedom from his attitude. He doesn’t like me, Jacob. Not sure how he was ever one of your favorite teachers. 

More to the point, he’s reporting to Dumbledore, and you know how I feel about him. On the other hand, for all their faults, I’m quite confident that both of them, and the Hogwarts staff in general, oppose Remembrance. We have a common enemy, and they are fully trained Wizards. If I’m going to expose and capture an agent of the Cabal, I could honestly use their help. Besides, I don’t know how else I’ll get Snape to let Charlie leave early. Could also tell him that Charlie’s innocent, but knowing Snape he either won’t care, or will demand to know who was really guilty. He’s gotten fed up with pranks over the past seven years, between the efforts of Tulip, Tonks, and Jae. 

I give a knock on the door to the Potions classroom. No response, nothing from Charlie or Snape. I knock again. Nothing. Beside me, Mitten moves to sit down on my feet and curl up. Evidently deciding that I’m not going anywhere for the time being. Sorry Mitten, but this is important. I scoop her up, ignoring several protests of “Mrow!” and drape her around my shoulders. It’s another favorite position of hers, and when I combine it with head scratches, she seems pacified. Well, if Mitten’s howls didn’t get Snape’s attention, then he’s just purposefully ignoring visitors. But I can’t afford to be polite. So still having no response, I push open the door. 

There’s no one here. Charlie isn’t here, and neither is Snape.Okay...strange. Maybe they’re in the back, in Snape’s office? Though Snape doesn’t usually give lines for detention. His usual method of operation is to make you clean out cauldrons and sort ingredients without magic, or rubber gloves. The first stipulation is just because he’s a jerk, but the second is...at least in my opinion, a legitimate health hazard. Though non-Healers probably don’t notice or care about that sort of thing. It bothers Chiara and Madam Pomfrey, and it bothers me because our parents would never skip their gloves, but maybe we’re just weird that way. 

I knock on the office door. Nothing. Okay, if Charlie isn’t here, then I’ll need to try Percy. Except, I can hear sounds coming from behind the door. Odd, shifting sounds. Like lightning, Mitten leaps off me and assumes an aggressive stance against the door, hissing. She’s smart, Jacob. If she senses something’s wrong, then something is wrong. I move to open the door, and it’s locked. I attempt _ Alohomora _, but the door is charmed to resist even that. It couldn’t be that Wormtail saw my betrayal coming, could it? No...even if he had, he’s not skilled enough in Charms to pull this off. His strategy has always been fleeing. So either Snape is doing something weird, or somebody else got to him...and by extension, Charlie. 

Rakepick…

“Mitten, get back.” I warn her, in a tone that indicates I’m not playing games. She doesn’t always do as she’s told, but she knows to listen to me when it really matters. Like right now. After the Statue Curse, I’m not letting anything happen to her ever again. So I withdraw the silver lime wand and take aim, after making sure Mitten is a safe distance away. I back up myself, and-

“_ Confringo _!” 

A loud, incendiary blast. The door bursts open, lightly scorched, barely holding onto its hinges. It took the full force of my curse, though admittedly I haven’t practiced this particular spell very much. No doubt, the noise will attract attention, but if I can get an extra hand or two in this fight, that would be appreciated. The smoke slowly clears, and I try to brace myself. Try to prepare for Rakepick’s counterattack. Unless it isn't her. Merlin’s beard, what if it’s Nina? What would I do then? 

It’s...not Nina. It’s not Rakepick either. The dust settles, and there isn’t anyone there. Just Snape’s desk and chair, with no human beings in sight. No humans, that is. But there is something alive in his office. Sealed inside some kind of glowing energy field, contained within a sphere of light, is a massive dark shape. Writhing and twisting. It almost looks like it could be a cloud, but it’s not. It’s definitely solid...like a gigantic, pitch-black bedsheet. Like a living shroud. 

"You..." 

My conviction, my concentration, they slowly drain out of me like I’m some sort of bathtub. Beside me, Mitten’s tail is twitching. Her claws are out. She’s giving a low growl. Because she knows what’s inside that sphere, and so do I. What’s more, her reaction seems to be one of recognition on a deeper level. She and I are often in sync, and it’s not difficult to tell what she’s thinking. This isn’t just a Lethifold. This is the same Lethifold we met when I was eleven. It’s here, in Snape’s office. 

“_ What do you think you’re doing?! _” 

A jinx hits me in the back, immobilizing me. I can’t tell if it’s the Impediment Jinx or the Full-Body-Find. Really hoping it’s the former, because the former is temporary. If I’ve been hit with Petrificus Totalus, I’m really screwed, because that’s not coming off until the caster decides to lift it. And the caster is bloody furious. That was Snape’s voice. 

“_ Mroowww _ !!” Mitten jumps into action, charging at Snape the same way she charged at Rakepick. With no regard for her own safety. And in my current state, I can’t protect her. I hear a loud bang, and light flashes over my eyelids. Mitten. _ Mitten! _ Look Jacob, regardless of the implications behind finding the lethifold, Snape better understand that if he lays a hand on my cat, there will be blood. And it will be his. I’m normally a nice person but I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t move, or I would be going crazy right now. I can’t even see if Mitten’s alright. 

“Fawley, you complete imbecile. You have chosen the wrong day to cross me. Was this your plan from the beginning? Convince Weasley to skip his detention so my office would be empty?” A loud bang, and a sharp pain. He’s hit me with something. Some sort of stinging hex or something. “You have broken into my chambers and seen far too much. Your days are done.” I catch sight of his legs as he strides past me, further into his office. No clue what he’s done with the lethifold, but his attention doesn’t seem to be on that. To my right, where the fireplace was, a green light suddenly flashes. “Dumbledore! We must speak at once, this is urgent!” 

Oh great. Dumbledore’s coming. I’m so excited. 

Another moment later, there’s a second flash and I hear someone climbing out of the fireplace. “Severus, what is the meaning of this? What have you done?” The old, tired voice of the Headmaster sounds surprised...but not surprised enough. 

“I have done nothing.” Snape snarled. “This young fool has traipsed into my office unbidden, and seen things he should not have seen.” It’s “they.” _ They, _ you bastard. You’ve had seven years to get it right, no excuses. Even Diego corrected himself once he knew. 

“Severus, why is this creature inside the castle? You know I do not allow the Dark Arts. You will remove it at once, before it harms a student.” Dumbledore’s voice is more powerful than I’ve ever heard it...and to his credit, he does sound genuinely angry. 

“I underestimated the Lethifold’s intelligence. It broke out of it’s previous containment, and stowed away in my belongings when I returned this year. Nearly killed me when I was unpacking. I have tripled the enchantments containing it, but it will be safe to move until Term ends on Friday.” 

“That does not excuse you, and it does not explain why you still possess it. I was led to believe you had disposed of it six years ago.” Six...years ago? Merlin’s beard. Even though I can’t move, I feel as though I would be frozen even without a spell. Jacob, it was Snape. And Dumbledore knew. He fucking _knew._ I’m done. I’m vindicated, sure, but I’m also enraged. And terrified for Mitten. 

Snape sounds like he’s starting to respond, but Dumblefore cuts him right off. “Never mind, you can explain yourself later. For now, you will remove this Lethifold from the castle. That is _ not _ a request, Severus.” He adds sharply, as it sounded like Snape was going to protest. “Go. I will deal with Fawley.” I can hear the strange sounds of unfamiliar magic, as Snape prepares to move the lethifold, perhaps rendering it invisible. As he’s leaving, Dumbledore only piles onto him more. “One more thing. Severus. Do not raise your wand against a student ever again. I understand your reasoning...but I’m very disappointed with you.” 

I don’t see the look on Snape’s face, but I can only assume it was priceless. He leaves without another word. Takes my would-be-killer with him, thankfully. Leaves me alone with Dumbledore. While he reacted appropriately enough, Snape still got off pretty easy. Never mind that he attacked me. I feel as though harboring a dark creature in the castle...ought to be a sackable offense? It’s not as though Snape is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher...no matter how much he’s always wanted to be. In any case, Dumbledore let a bit too much slip when he was reading Snape the riot act. 

I feel someone moving me. Ugh, get your hands off me. Personal space. _ Stop touching me. _ Okay, he’s propped me up against the desk, so I can properly see him. His face is flushed and his jaw is set. Seems as though his fury is genuine, but I still don’t trust it. Locking eyes with me, Dumbledore’s face softens. “Luca, I’m going to remove the body-bind. When I do, please remain calm. If you initiate violence, I may be forced to retaliate.” Yeah, he knows me well enough, but given that he’s now holding my wand, I’m not about to fire the first shot. There’s something more important to be done anyway. 

I can feel the curse leaving my body. It wasn’t as though I couldn’t breathe before, because I’d most likely have passed out by now if that was how the Body-Bind worked. But it didn’t feel like I could breathe. Not that it’s anything knew. Sometimes when I have to sleep alone, I’m affected by a strange phenomenon where I wake up in a state of body-bind, only to snap out of it after a few minutes. I can still breathe when I’m in that state, but it doesn’t feel like it. Used to frighten the hell out of me, but apparently it happens to Tonks as well, and Badeea. According to Badeea, muggles get it too. So I’m not as disoriented as I might have been. I’m able to make an immediate dash. 

Oh, I’m not trying to escape. Not without my wand, I’m not that stupid. No, the only thing that matters right now is Mitten. Jacob, if Snape killed her...I don’t even know what I’ll do. As it stands, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Dumbledore calls after me and I think he moves to follow but I’m not paying him an ounce of attention. I find Mitten on the ground, taking her into my arms and listening for a pulse. Then she shifts in my arms and nuzzles me. She’s okay. She might be a bit bruised, but nothing a potion can’t heal. My abilities in healing are rudimentary, but Mitten gets into scuffles all the time, so learning to brew fix-up potions for her became a necessity by third year. 

“Mroww…” She’s tired, she’s weakened, but she’s okay. I gently place her inside my robes. I had the pockets magically enlarged so that she could fit. Holding her closely, I hear Dumbledore behind me, ruining the moment as he is wanton to do. 

“Luca, I believe we need to talk about what you just saw. It’s important for you to understand.” There’s a clicking sound. With a wave of his wand, he bolted the doors shut. Keeping me and Mitten in here until he’s satisfied. Reminds me of Moody, a little bit. “I know you’ll have questions...or conclusions that you may have reached on your own, so it’s important that you be given context. Whether or not you trust me, you must understand that I will never allow harm to come to my students. Not ever.” 

I say nothing. I don’t get up from my crouched position. I don’t turn around or look at him. I concede nothing. But I can feel him. Dumbledore’s effort, his magic, I can sense it in my own head. He’s trying to read my thoughts. But if Gail and Wormtail are right about Invigorium, and the Mark of Despair...time to find out. I fight back. I resist his oh so casual attempt to violate my privacy. Push him back with walls. I can feel his hesitation. 

“I am deeply sorry about Jacob. We were not aware of Nina’s role in R until it was too late. I should never have allowed your brother’s expulsion. If I had stepped in, he might still be alive, and I take full responsibility for that.” 

Hah, look at him stumble, Jacob. Look at him blindly reaching out to me, trying to grasp what holds me back from trusting him. Trying to tell me what he thinks or hopes I want to hear. I as good as told him that he was indirectly responsible, and whether or not his apology is genuine, that’s still true. I say nothing, so Dumbledore simply continues. I’m curious to see how deep he’ll dig his grave. 

“We always knew that R was interested in the Mark of Despair, and those who carried it. When Lord Voldemort fell, R had one less enemy to deal with. Several former Death Eaters flocked to the Cabal now that their previous organization had disbanded. But Professor Snape remained loyal to the light, and the Order of The Phoenix.” 

Two things. One, can you _ not _ say his name? Seriously, even writing it down gives me the creeps. I thought it was just social courtesy to call him You-Know-Who? Jacob, I was only about four when he fell, and I still remember how terrifying those early days were. Getting the news about Frank and Alice, how much Dad cried. Like...the name is a trigger for people, Dumbledore. Even if you’re so high and mighty that it doesn’t affect you. 

But secondarily...this means that Snape was a Death Eater too, before ultimately betraying them. Can’t say I’m surprised. Maybe it was professional rivalry that shaped his animosity with Rakepick. I wonder if he knew Wormtail...

“They were stronger than ever, and The Fawley situation was our biggest predicament. The Mark seems to hold power over the Cursed Vaults, and it is required to open the final one. It seems that R knew this, and they were determined to use a Mark carrier as their weapon.” 

The Fawley situation...Snape and Filch once described it like that. Merula and I overheard them, all the way back in Year One.

“In an effort to prevent R from reaching your family, Professor Snape-” 

“Tried to kill me.” The first words I’ve spoken to him are, like always, harsh. He always makes everything sound so flowery and I have no patience for it. 

“He...saw fit to eliminate the problem before it expanded. Your enrollment at Hogwarts would place you dangerously close to the Cursed Vaults. Something that we wished to stop at all costs.” 

“You tried to murder a child. You’re no different than my mother.” 

“Professor-” Dumbledore breaks off. He sounds frustrated, but his anger doesn’t seem to be at me. It’s as though my comparison didn’t offend him at all. “Professor Snape went behind my back, Luca. I charged him to prevent R from getting their claws into you and your brother. But you have my word, I did not authorize any attempts on your life.” 

“No, you just told him to “_ handle the situation at any cost _”, and let a former Death Eater interpret that however he saw fit. Tell me I’m wrong.” For the first time, I make eye contact and let me tell you Jacob, if looks could kill, he’d be a dead man. “Tell me. I’m wrong.” 

And he can’t. Not that it’s a shocker. 

Dumbledore’s eyes close as he lets out a deep sigh. “Professor Snape is not evil, Luca. I trust him with my life. But he’s only human, and he can make poor judgment calls. He’s as flawed as you or me.” 

“Yeah, not to split hairs, but um...I don't think you and I are really comparable.” I don’t even disclaim my words by saying something like “no offense” because frankly, I wouldn’t mean it. Full offense. I don’t respect this man at all. I’m not perfect, Jacob. I know this. Still... “flawed, but ultimately good” feels like it suits me far better than him. 

“Whatever you may think of me, I have always put Hogwarts and my students first. Dark creatures belong in the Forbidden Forest, not the Castle. And I would never-” His voice breaks off. His blue eyes are watering slightly. When he continues, his tone is softer. “Families should never be broken apart this way. You lost a sibling, and I know how that feels.” He stares at me. I stare back. Is this manipulation? An attempt at sympathy? Or is he being real with me? 

To hell with it. At this stage, it no longer matters. Too much has happened, Jacob. This is too little, too late. 

“You had seven years to tell me that. Seven years to tell me everything you knew. But you didn’t. You just stuffed me with House Points to try and get on my good side, then gave me a year of detention for the same thing. You could have told me what you knew about R, from the beginning - if all you wanted was to stop my investigation...then you could have told me about Nina, and Jacob.” I take a deep breath. “And Merlin’s beard, if you truly didn't know, then you could have reported Snape after the fact. Or at least sacked him. He’s still bloody here. After trying to kill one of your students. And you expect me to believe you care about us? Go to hell.” 

I stand up, carefully keeping Mitten in my robes pocket. I hold out my hand. “I’m dropping out. As of this moment, I’m no longer a student. Now give me my wand.” 

Dumbledore doesn’t move. I think he wants to use legilimency on me, but I’m not letting it happen. “I urge you to reconsider, Luca. R is out there, and in these walls you will be safer.” 

“I’m not going to reconsider. You’re just stalling. Give me my wand.” 

“I’m not certain that I can do that. What are you going to do?” 

The nerve of this guy, I swear. “None of your business. I’m not going to attack you, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“I’m referring to Professor Snape. What do you intend to do about him?” 

“He’s not my Professor anymore.” I snap back. There’s only one thing I don’t understand, Jacob. How come he never hurt you? If he was trying to take the Fawleys out of the picture, he had plenty of access to you. “For all I know, he was directly involved with Jacob’s death. I know my mother arranged his expulsion.” 

“Professor Snape would never have harmed Jacob. They had quite a positive relationship, actually.” Dumbledore’s face falls. “Once it became clear that Jacob was going to betray R, Snape began training him to wield the power of his birthmark. He and Patricia Rakepick were mentoring your brother.” 

“But before that.” Suddenly, so much is starting to make sense. “Before Jacob began working for Snape...he was a member of the Cabal, wasn’t he?” Maybe not full-time, not at the point of taking the Vow, because then you couldn’t have betrayed their cause. But you were serving them initially. Must have seen their true colors after it was too late. Oh Jacob, I’m so sorry. “He was a member during his first few years at Hogwarts...and one year, he came home with Dragon Pox…” 

Dumbledore shifts uncomfortably. “I’m aware of what happened. He felt terrible about what happened to your father. It even affected his magic-” 

“_Shut up._” I never knew I could be so aggressive. But pieces of the puzzle are falling into place and making way too much sense. “Jacob didn’t pick up Dragon Pox from another student at all. Snape infected him, and tried to take out our whole family.” Dumbledore’s mental barriers are strong, but his expression tells me I’m right. 

“And after that...when I arrived here.” I’m on a roll, Jacob. “Dementors invaded the Campus. We all thought that the Cabal sent them, as a test...but. That doesn’t make any sense, does it? If they had to get rid of Jacob, and I was already opening the Vaults for them, why risk my life before I made it to the Sunken Vault?” 

Dumbledore says nothing, but he doesn’t need to. I press on. “You told me. You told me not to engage with the Dementor, even demanded a promise. You must have known, though. R didn't send those Dementors at all. Your precious "reformed" Death Eater sent them.” 

Dumbledore deflates, sinking into a nearby desk and looking withered. His eyes shut again. “I assure you, Luca, I was furious when I found out. I truly believed Professor Snape had learned his lesson after that, but he has always been willing to make sacrifices to attain his goal." No no, don't do that. Don't romanticize it. You don't even know the definition of the word 'sacrifice,' do you? "I have only ever sought to protect the school from ruin. Rakepick was there to save your life, thankfully, but if the Cabal was to obtain the treasure in the Sunken Vault-” 

When I saw you coming out of the Sunken Vault, Jacob...you had something in your hand. Something small, easy to transport. But what happened to it? Did you hide it somewhere? It isn’t in your room at Hogwarts...where did you hide it? Could Nina have taken it from your body? Or did Gail take it when she broke the Statue Curse? Either way…”They already have the treasure. Try to keep up.” Seeing the look on his face, I just roll my eyes. “Either Jacob got to it, and they took it from him after my mother killed him. Or, he never had it, and they stole it when they opened the Sunken Vault last year. Because that wasn’t me.” 

Okay, that scared him. That scared the hell out of him. Whatever was in the final vault, Dumbledore obviously cares enough about Remembrance never getting their hands on it, that he was willing to look the other way for Snape’s multiple attempts on my life...and his getting our Dad killed. For a moment it seems as though the Headmaster can’t get any words out. Then, out of nowhere, somebody knocks on the door. 

“Professor? I think I left my Quill in here…” Penny. It’s Penny. This is bad. The world needs to know what's going on, but I honestly don't know what Dumbledore would do if Penny learned the truth. He claims to care about his students, but that's a bald faced lie. Would he be above silencing them? Well, Snape sure as hell wouldn't." 

“Penny!” I yell out, alarming Dumbledore. “Penny, get back to the Basement! I’ll meet you there!” Her calling out my name in confusion is muffled, as are her attempts to open the door. Because I choose this moment to tackle Dumbledore. Had to wait for him to be distracted. Primarily using my head so as to avoid any further harm to Mitten. He keeps a tight hold on his own wand but manages to drop mine, and I snatch it up. Dumbledore raises his own wand, and I shove the desk between us up onto it’s side, almost like a shield. Aiming my own wand, I unlock the door. 

Penny opens it, and proceeds to look on to the bizarre sight of my barricading myself against the Headmaster. I lock eyes with Penny and shout, “Go! Seriously!” So she does, and I’m quick to follow. Dumbledore’s jinx misses my less than an inch as I make it to the doorway. Okay, you know what? I’ve had enough of him. Turning round in place, I don’t even think about whether this will work or what the consequences will be. I just fire the Conjunctivitis Curse - which hits him squarely in the eyes, shattering his spectacles. 

He’s down for the count, but that’s only going to be temporary. My goal was to subdue him, not cause him pain, and despite everything...I do feel a twinge of guilt about how much that looks like it hurts. But no time to dwell on that. I have to get out of here, and I really didn’t want Penny to be caught in the crossfire. I tried to send her away. But now that she’s seen so much, I don’t know what will happen to her. 

Catching up to her, I grab her hand in an effort to make her pick up the pace. Come on Haywood, you’re a quidditch player, you should be faster than me. Whatever. She asks several questions, but in the interest of getting us back to safety I hold off on answering them. I’m distracted enough as it is. Attempting to enter the Hufflepuff Common Room proves this, as I knock in the wrong tune and get us both sprayed with vinegar. One quick Scourgify later, we’re inside. 

“Luca, what was all that? Were you dueling with Dumbledore?” Hardly. I got a lucky hit or two, that was all. I’m not stupid, I know he would destroy me in a real duel. Regardless, I move toward one of the potted plants on the window, yanking out its contents to retrieve the secret store of floo-powder we keep. Skye, Elora, and Beatrice are also in the Common Room, and our actions have caught their attention. 

“Did someone say dueling...Dumbledore?” Elora’s eyes are wide, and even Beatrice looks impressed. Skye throws a questioning glance at Penny, who just throws up her hands.

I ignore all of them, shaking my head and moving to throw some floo powder into the fire-place. “Snyde Manor!” I call out, as it erupts into green flames. Turning back to them, I glance at Skye. “Do me a favor and get the younger ones out of here? Take them up to their dormitories or something. They heard nothing, they know nothing, got it?” 

Skye doesn’t understand, but loyalty is a strong thing in our House, so she complies. Coaxing Elora out of the room. Beatrice, as expected, refuses point blank to move. She just folds her arms. “You seriously crossed wands with Albus Dumbledore? What, you going on the run or something?” Then she grins. “Cause if you are, I want to come.” 

Penny starts to vocalize protest, I but I raise a hand to shush both of them. “Listen, I can’t stay at Hogwarts anymore. It’s a long story, too long to tell right now. I’m dropping out, but Dumbledore and Snape aren’t going to just let me go. Penny-” I break off, looking at her. “I really wish you didn’t see what you saw. But without context, it could have meant anything, so maybe claiming ignorance is plausible.” I’m thinking aloud, pacing back and forth. 

Penny grabs my arm. “I _am_ ignorant, Luca. I don't know what this is. And there’s no way you’re up and leaving without telling me what’s going on.” 

“Nor me.” Beatrice adds defiantly. Great. There isn’t time for this. Dumbledore will be along soon. He was a Gryffindor in his day, not a Hufflepuff, but how do I know the Headmaster doesn’t know the way into every Common Room? In any case, he could always get Sprout to open it up for him. 

“Jacob was right. We can’t trust Dumbledore. I knew it, I knew we couldn’t, but the extent that he’s...that he’s allowed to happen...listen, I have to go. I have to get Mitten some medicine and fast. But go to Flitwick. I don’t know about Sprout, but you can trust Flitwick. Tell him that Snape brought a Lethifold into the castle, and Dumbledore is covering it up. Tell him-” 

Penny’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “A lethifold? No...you can’t mean that Snape…” Now I feel bad. I should have remembered, Penny actually likes him.

“I’m sorry Penny. I’m so sorry. Just...make sure Beatrice doesn’t follow me.” The aforementioned third year glowers at me, but I simply turn around and step into the vortex of fire. With that, I'm gone. Oh Jacob, I hope my friends are going to be okay. Flitwick should be able to protect them. At least I hope he can. 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things got worse. Things got so much worse. 
> 
> Apologies to fans of Snape and Dumbledore, as I've very much painted them in a negative light in this story, and in this chapter that reaches it's peak. Though I have tried to stay true to their characters, I must confess I'm no fan of either of them. But you probably guessed that by now.
> 
> There's only a few days left until the winter holiday...Luca will have some debts to pay very soon...


	37. The Mental Realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having escaped their would-be killer, Luca prepares to confront the Cabal with their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in December now, and the end is in sight. The grand finale is nearly here. I'm getting so emotional, guys! 
> 
> Time for the fallout after what happened last time! Thank you so, so much for reading! Please let me know what you think! I embrace comments of all sorts!

** _December 6th, 1990_ **

Dear Jacob, 

Sleeping alone has never been easy for me. When I was a kid, I always had you to cling to, or one of our parents. Lately, I haven’t had to worry about nightmares or night terrors, because Tulip and Merula are there. Or if not them, Rowan, Tonks, or any of my wonderful friends. They saved my life at that horrid school and I might have run away far sooner without them. But as of tonight, I have run away. Tulip and Merula are still at Hogwarts, and so is everyone else. I’ve slipped away to Snyde Manor to brew Mitten’s potion, set up some protective enchantments, and plan my next move. But come nightfall, I have to try and sleep without anyone next to me. On a night that I’m plenty stressed...it isn’t easy, and I find myself in a hyper-realistic nightmare about the void I’ve been to before - whenever I got too close to a Boggart. 

The zone seems to stretch on forever around me, and yet the walls cave in. I watch Nina murdering you once again, but turning away from that, I can see Rakepick torturing Merula. Run from that and Penny is sobbing over Beatrice, who’s trapped in a portrait and asphyxiating. Run a little further, and Rowan is alone and spurned that I suspected them...but when I turn around again, I’m confronted by an advancing Lethifold, that speaks to me in the voice of the Dementor from before. “Why do you keep returning? There’s nothing for you here. You will never get him back. You cannot save your friends. Had you not been so selfish, we would only have killed one of them. Instead, you tried to escape the Cabal, so now there is punishment…” The lethifold suddenly falls off a human figure, and Gail shakes her head in disappointment. “You’re only putting yourself in danger - you can’t outsmart Remembrance. Just join the winning team, Luca. I’ve missed having a sibling.” 

“Yeah, I have too. That tends to happen when your brother gets murdered.” I snap back, aiming my wand. For whatever reason, it’s the broken hazel wand that I’m holding. Gail fires some kind of stinging jinx, which makes my hand start burning, right as I launch a counter-spell.

“_ Riddikulus _!” 

Everything snaps, and suddenly Gail grabs my hands. Only it’s not Gail, but Tulip. All of a sudden, I’m no longer in that strange mental realm. I’m back in Merula’s bedroom. Clutching my right hand, which is still burning. And I nearly threw a punch at my partner. I start to stammer an apology but Tulip simply kisses my hand and puts a finger on my lip, which is like some special enchantment that only she knows how to do, because whenever she does it I fall silent immediately. 

  
“It’s okay Luca, we’re here to help.” Using plural words doesn't phase me, after all, there’s always been the three of us. But then I hear the sound of mingled voices coming from outside the room as I sit up. On my other side, I notice Merula, looking grumpy as ever. She reaches out and plays with my hair as I look between them. 

“Wait, who else is here?” 

Tulip suddenly has that mischievous smile that I love so much. Merula and I exchange a glance and the latter sighs. “Easier to show you. I don’t think all of them will fit in my room, and I don’t want them coming in here. Only you lot get to.” 

I glance back at Tulip, who helps me up and leads us out into the hallway, and then upstairs to the attic, and...Merlin’s beard. What are they all doing here? In one corner, I see Penny and Beatrice, sitting with Skye, Tonks, Jae, and Chiara.On the other side, there’s Rowan with Diego, Andre, Barnaby, Liz, and Ben. Sitting by the window, Charlie, Ismelda, Badeea, and Talbott. They’re all here. What the heck is going on? 

Penny is one to move forward, followed closely by Beatrice. “I told Flitwick what was going on. I don’t think he believed me, but he promised to call a staff meeting about it, said he would confront them. I didn’t tell anyone else, Luca, I promise. 

“I did.” Beatrice lifts her hand, not looking remotely abashed. I stare back at her and sigh, but she just rolls her eyes. “If Dumbledore is ordering students killed, people need to know. They’re not safer if they don’t know.” 

“Especially if he’s targeting Pure-bloods first. Who does that?” Ismelda hisses before turning to look out at the night sky again. Charlie awkwardly shuffles away from her and addresses me next. 

“I think this is my fault Luca. If I hadn’t ditched my detention to help Liz, you might never have discovered the Lethifold and gotten into that scrap.” 

“Pretty sure that makes it my fault.” Liz chimes in. “Does anyone know if the lethifold was okay? If it was transported safely and released into the wild? Dark creature or not, it’s still a living thing.” At Rowan’s expression, she stands up straighter. “What? It’s just trying to feed itself. Human morality isn’t something it understands.” 

“Look, Liz, it’s no one’s fault. No one here. This was Snape and Dumbledore. But what are you doing here? All of you?” I try to keep it together. I try not to cry. “They had no reason to target you, none of you have the black star.” I hold up my currently un-gloved hand. “But now that you know, you might be seen as a threat-” 

There’s a clattering sound to my left, as Beatrice seems to have knocked over an old cauldron, probably on accident. She’s staring at my hand. “Wait a sec...where did you get that from, Luca?” 

I look back at her. Everyone is looking at her now. “I’ve had it since I was born. It’s the Mark of Despair. Not every Fawley has one, but it seems to be...what, what did you call it?” I look to Badeea for help. 

“A dominant trait.” She nods. I click my fingers. 

“Yeah, that.” So most of us are born with it. Jacob, Gail, Aunt Alice... Didn’t you know about this?” 

Beatrice suddenly seems very pale. “No, I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t know it looked...like that. No one tells me anything.” She glances around at the crowd surveying her. “Well quit gawking, and just fill me in? What does it do?” 

Rowan chooses this moment to chime in. “We don’t entirely know. Historically, it’s likely the source of The Fawley family’s history of madness and misfortune. We know that it’s connected to the Cursed Vaults.” 

I nod. “Seems like it was designed to be a Curse-Breaking tool. I believe it’s part of a greater Curse that affected…” I catch Ben’s eye for a fraction of a second. “Affected...other people too.” Yeah, not going to reveal that secret without Ben’s permission. “Remembrance is drugging and poisoning children, trying to give them special powers. Sometimes with potions, and sometimes with Curses, but...I think it’s all the same spell. Invigorium. Whatever it is, it makes magic stronger. But it’s unstable, and it can be deadly.” 

I chance meeting Ben’s eye again. I wanted to talk to him in private about this, but if I keep any and all names redacted, I can also fill the group in and they need to know. Meanwhile, Beatrice has gone very quiet. She’s not looking at me, or Penny or Ismelda. She’s just sitting in the corner. 

“Is that why Professor Snape tried to hurt you?” Barnaby frowns, looking up. “Because you have that mark? I would have just tried to wash it off.” 

“Nah, it’s permanent ink, Barnaby.” Diego adds, resting a hand on his shoulder, before he looks at me. “Was Snape seriously behind the Lethifold attack from six years ago?” 

Andre shakes his head. “It just doesn’t seem like them at all. Snape isn’t exactly pleasant, but I never took him for a killer. And Dumbledore? He hates dark creatures! You’re absolutely sure he was involved?”

I can only nod gravely. “He admitted it. Well, he says that he didn’t authorize it, but...either way, I don’t trust him. After all that’s happened..I can’t go back there. The Cursed Vaults are all open, Hogwarts doesn’t need me anymore.” 

Jae puts his hands together. “Then it doesn’t need us, either. But you do, Luca. I’ve been itching to expand my practice beyond school grounds anyhow.” Chiara lightly shakes her head, looking amused, but doesn’t contradict him. 

Skye nods as well. “Snape always seemed kind of dodgy to me anyhow. I’ve got enough of a resume to go Pro, what’s one more Quidditch Cup going to do? Term ends tomorrow, so Snape can whine all he wants about us being gone - we’ll just be “on vacation.” 

Talbott turns away from the window. “You really went overboard with the protective spells, you know that? Thankfully, Chiara whipped up a fireplace in the Come and Go Room, and instructed it to disappear at sunrise. So we were all able to make it.” 

“And turn my sitting room into a fireplace as well.” Merula scoffs. “By the way, Bitten and Mitten really like soot. They’re rolling around in it right now.” 

Oh not again...at least she’s doing better than earlier. Seeing Bitten will cheer her up. Penny glances down sheepishly. “After I spoke to Flitwick, Professor Sprout told me that Dumbledore had sent for me.”

“And she was going to go, too.” Skye interjects, rolling her eyes before draping her arms around Penny and pecking her cheek. “I had to talk some sense into her. Told her we should follow you. Course, I had been keeping an eye on Beatrice, and there was no way to stop her from followin’ us.” 

  
Penny shoots a look at her sister, but Beatrice offers no reply. No snarky remark. She doesn’t even look up.

“That was when they ran into us.” Chiara explains. “Word was spreading, apparently. Beatrice told some people, but Charlie and some others figured it out from Snape. Saw him leaving Hogwarts grounds with a big trunk…” She shivers, no doubt picturing the Lethifold. 

“Whatever Snape and Dumbledore are planning to do against Remembrance, we have plans of our own.” Badeea grins. “We’re sticking by you, Luca.” She nods to Tulip, who looks over at me. At this point, I shouldn’t start crying, but it’s probably going to happen. 

“But...listen, you can’t all just drop out like I did. You have futures to think about, careers...Talbott, you’ll never make Auror without N.E.W.Ts!” 

But this doesn’t seem to phase him, or any of them. He shrugs awkwardly. “All I really want is to catch dark wizards. If I can do it without having to be around the Ministry, all the better.” At these words, Tonks laughs and claps Talbott’s shoulder, making him flinch. 

“Hear hear! Though I s’pose the Aurors aren’t all bad...That Moody bloke was pretty cool. Don’t sweat it Luca, now that we’re here, we can go over the plan again, and I can practice turning into you!” She grins, having been excited about this plan from the get-go. 

Barnaby approaches me and gives me a hug. “Grades are important, but so are friendships.” He insists. While he’s usually a little slow, occasionally he can make beautiful statements full of wisdom and experience. I don’t know how he does it. 

Penny puts her hands together. “Depending on how Christmas goes and what happens, we could theoretically go back for next term. But none of us has to - none of us except this one.” She adds with a grimace, gesturing to Beatrice...who doesn’t even contradict her. She doesn’t say anything. I’m starting to get worried about her, but I’m still having trouble accepting what my friends are telling me. 

“But...Rowan, you want...what about your dreams?” 

I look helplessly to my best friend, who simply shakes their head, reaching out to grasp my hand. “Nothing will stop me from becoming the youngest Professor ever...but I’ll never work for someone who tried to kill you, Luca. You matter more than dreams.” Well, that did it. That got me sobbing like a little baby, and basically falling against Rowan onto my knees. They partially catch me, and everyone crowds around us. 

This is followed by everyone venting emotions and talking about what we’re going to do. Percy and the Twins are young and don’t know anything, they should be safe, same goes for Cedric Diggory. All the rest of our friends and loved ones are in the dark, so they should be fine too. Bill isn’t even at Hogwarts right now. It was at this point that I realized I never told Charlie about Wormtail...but my plans to expose him are interrupted by realizing that he’s here. Charlie discovers “Scabbers” in his coat and resigns himself to keeping an eye on the rat for the time being. Rowan and I exchange a glance, and know that we’ll have to keep an eye on him too. Mitten and Bitten return to code, following Charlie everywhere for attention and petting, and also keeping Wormtail scared. If we expose him now, while we’re basically on the run, he could become a problem. 

It was the middle of the night when Tulip and Merula woke me to greet all of our friends, and everyone camps out in various places to kip for the night. Merula’s home is large, but there are quite a few of us - something she’s irritated about, but seems to have accepted. Only throwing a minor spat at the idea that someone might sleep in her parents’ room...but she relented on that rather quickly. 

It isn’t until morning on the following day that Hogwarts catches up with us. 

At around eight, Liz shakes me awake to tell me that there’s someone outside. Carefully getting up to avoid disturbing my partners, I gradually head downstairs, passing by several people in sleeping bags, in the hall and in the sitting room. I approach the front door, knowing that our protective enchantments should keep us fairly reinforced, but also not putting anything past our enemies...and we have so many of them now. Nina, Rakepick, Wormtail, Dumbledore, Snape...I clutch tightly at my wand, and focus my magic eye on peering through the door. 

It’s Flitwick. 

“...Stay here, I’m going out there.” I instruct Liz. It’s fortunate that she was the one to wake me. If it had been Rowan or Penny, they would have insisted on coming too. But Liz accepts my plan without any questions, and I open the door, stepping outside and shutting it behind me. Walking out into the front yard until I stand right in front of Flitwick, only the barrier of enchantments between us. Fortunately, I don’t have to remove them to speak to him. I’ve got a Mark of Despair. And these things are pretty good at bypassing curses. Gail and Jacob used theirs to break into the Sunken Vault, and if I’m right...yep. I walk right through the enchantment to confront Flitwick. 

Definitely startles him, but even if I’m on my guard, I don’t honestly think he’s here to hurt me. He doesn’t have his wand out, and it’s not like can use brute strength to subdue me. “Luca!” He squeaks. “So you_ are _ here.” 

“Going to tell Dumbledore, are you?” I fold my arms. “I know that Penny brought you up to speed, so if you’re still defending him-” 

“Luca, I’m here because Hogwarts is in crisis. Half of our seventh year class vanished overnight! I haven’t come on Albus Dumbledore’s behalf - he doesn’t even know I’m here. I only wish to beg for your help. It seems that there was another Cursed Vault after all, because we can’t find a number of students, including a third year, and many of them are your friends. So I would implore you to consider returning-”

“They’re _ all _ my friends, actually. Even Ismelda. And they aren’t missing. They just left for winter Holiday a little early.” My tone is icy. I’m not angry with Flitwick, not really. But he hasn’t commented on Snape and Dumbledore yet. “I think they got a little spooked when they found out the Headmaster is covering up attempted murders.” 

Flitwick’s face pales over. He looks like he’s going to be sick. “I did not know, Luca. I swear I did not know.” 

“I believe you. But what happened? What did Dumbledore tell you?” 

“Miss Haywood made a very serious accusation, so I called an emergency staff meeting. But Professor Snape was nowhere to be seen. Madam Hooch claimed she saw him leaving school grounds. Professor Dumbledore rigidly defended him, and his words seemed to satisfy most of the staff. Minerva and I were still doubtful, but Professor Dumbledore eventually confided in us, and Pomona, that it was at least partially true. He summoned Miss Haywood to explain the context, but she never appeared.” Flitwick rubs his temple slowly. “Are you telling me that they left school on your instructions?” 

I shake my head. I’m not going to play any mind games with Flitwick. He’s the one friend I have left with any sway at Hogwarts. “No, I told them to keep their heads down. They decided to leave all by themselves. But can you blame them? I always knew Snape was an arse, but I thought he was an arse on my side. He tried to kill me. He tried to kill Jacob. His actions did kill my Dad. And Dumbledore looked the other way for all of it. Neither of them should still be working at Hogwarts.”

Flitwick’s gaze breaks from mine as he stares at the ground. “It makes no sense. Albus Dumbledore is a far better man than that, everyone knows it. Severus...he has his flaws, I know, but...I can’t believe he would make an attempt on a student’s life.” 

“More than one attempt. Though I suppose I wasn’t yet a student when he went after me with the Lethifold. But he was behind the Dementor attacks from three years ago, and he gave me that Garroting Gas. He said it was to use against Rakepick, but...I’ll bet he was hoping it would kill us both, and deal with two problems.” 

“Severus lost a great deal to the Cabal.” Flitwick mutters. “During the war, they put themselves on the map by manipulating both the Order of the Phoenix, and the Death Eaters. Convincing many who had doubts about Albus Dumbledore to join their cause, along with Death Eaters who had only served You-Know-Who out of fear. The Cabal promised its members protection...and one of the first to sign up was Professor Snape’s aging mother, Eileen.” 

“_ What? _” I can’t really contain my surprise. 

“Yes…” Flitwick looks troubled. “This really is none of our business, and it’s not my story to share, but you need to understand. Eileen was gravely ill when the Cabal approached her. She was dying. They gave her a special potion to reinvigorate her magic and her health, which at first, it did It appeared to heal her entirely.” At these words, I start to get a creeping feeling along my back. 

“She began carrying out missions for them, as they used her to get closer to her son. At the time, Severus was highly coveted as an asset by all sides. He was ultimately our spy, but when he was still serving You-Know-Who, the Cabal used Eileen’s loyalty to win his. I believe they were interested in his propensity for mental magic...yet on the day he seemed prepared to abandon the Death Eaters and take the Vow…” Flitwick shuts his eyes. “Everything went wrong. The potion that R gave Eileen...it seemed to develop side-effects. It was driving her mad, it was killing her. She collapsed just as Severus was about to be sworn in. Started to have a seizure. As she was dying, she began to shout the truth about R...until Patricia Rakepick silenced her.” 

Merlin’s beard. No wonder Snape hates her. No wonder he armed me with a deadly weapon in the hopes that I’d use it on her. And no wonder he wants to stop Remembrance...at any cost. It doesn’t make it okay, but...yikes. Flitwick turns away, watching the sky. “Minerva has always wondered about Severus’ loyalty...just as I wondered about Rakepick. I suppose we may never know where their loyalties truly lie.” He looks back at me. “I don’t know if he really did this, Luca.” 

Yeah, he did. He definitely did. I may understand why, but it doesn’t absolve him of guilt. “Professor, Dumbledore admitted it to me. He told me everything.” 

“Dumbledore may have seen fit to tell you what you wanted to hear.” Flitwick gives me a more stern look. “To be entirely fair Luca, if he had offered a different explanation, would you have believed him?” Alright, no, I wouldn’t have...but there’s a reason for that. 

“You are blinded by prejudice. Professor Dumbledore may be playing a larger game, but that’s because it is his job to do so.” 

“His job is to protect and guide his students-”

“No, that’s my job. And Minerva, and Pomona. But Albus Dumbledore is Headmaster. His focus needs to be on the school itself. He’s managing everything, and he’s in charge of everyone. Protecting his students isn’t always simple, and Albus is the cleverest man I have ever known. He knows what needs to be done to protect Hogwarts and its’ students. Far better than you or I ever could. I believe you’d make an excellent teacher, Luca, if you were to pursue that path. But I’m not so certain you’d have the temperment for Headmaster.” 

His words are...sharp. They’re honest. He’s not really insulting me, it’s more like he’s appraising me. And perhaps he’s right. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Flitwick bristles and stands up straighter. “I will get to the bottom of what’s going on at Hogwarts, you have my word. If there is a conspiracy going on, then the other Heads of House and I will deal with it accordingly. I do hope you’ll return in January to finish your seventh year. I would also ask that you convince your friends to do the same. It would be a terrible waste for all of you to throw your education away at this stage. And I must warn you, that Beatrice Haywood is underage. She absolutely must return next term. If she fails to appear, and we have not received any word from her parents on her whereabouts...I will have an ethical obligation to contact them myself.” 

Damn, now it’s Flitwick’s turn to give me threats. And unlike when I did it, he isn’t putting them behind a thin veil, he’s being direct and explaining his reasons. I respect this man so much. I aspire to be like him, Jacob. “I understand, sir. Let me stress again that I didn’t ask them to leave - and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that Beatrice...she’s often out of control. But Penny and I will do our best to get her back to Hogwarts for next term.” 

Flitwick and I part ways after that. I won't explain to him how I’m able to bypass the protective enchantments...no need for him to know more than he needs to. In any case, he’s a master of dueling and charms, he can figure it out. Once I’m back inside, I fill Liz in. Flitwick’s on our side, but not to the point of betraying his fellow teachers because he still believes in them. Just like he believed in Rakepick. I wonder what Flitwick’s story is...if it were me, would I have it in me to doubt my friends? I say this, despite having suspected Rowan for over a year. Maybe that experience has left me with an inability to lose faith in my friends. 

For the rest of the day, we all go over the plan for meeting Rakepick and Gail. I’ve agreed to a meeting with both of them, to take the Vow. But Gail’s meeting is first - she wants me to visit a house called Grimmauld Place, and initiate me there. But since Tonks is going to take the Vow in my name, it will be null and void. We’ll be able to determine the deeper secrets of Remembrance, even if I already have a general idea of what they want. Tonks isn’t going in alone, though, Merula and I will be in our Animagus forms. That hasn’t fooled Gail in the past, but Nina knows about Mitten and Bitten, so it’s quite possible Gail does too. 

On top of that, Tulip, Rowan, and Charlie all want to be involved. Jae is able to produce an invisibility cloak to use, but three people underneath is pushing the limits of space. Penny also wants to come, but she and Ismelda have to keep a lid on Beatrice, who is certain to try and sneak after us somehow, and given how she still has the Trace on her, she’s in the most immediate danger. I also haven’t forgotten that she’s a Slider. “More” than a Slider if Trelawney’s Observation is to be believed. It’s going to be tough, but one advantage we have is that Gail believes so strongly in family. Rakepick wants my help, but she’d never be stupid enough to trust me. Gail really _ wants _ to trust me, and it will make it that much easier to lull her into letting her guard down. 

It isn’t until nightfall that I finally find out what spooked Beatrice the other day. I think she must have been waiting to talk to me alone, trying to slip away from the watchful eyes of Penny, Skye, or even Ismelda. She pulls the trick that Tulip used to do, where she intentionally bumps into me during the day, and slips me a note that just says “We need to talk. Meet me downstairs at eleven.” So against my better judgment, I do. Everyone else is asleep, but she’s waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

“Beatrice, if this is about you going back to Hogwarts-” 

“It’s not.” She cuts me off in a whisper. “I’m going to self-educate from now on. I already missed the majority of first year. Sooner or later, they’ll have no choice but to expel me.” She holds out her hand. “But instead of arguing about that, can we get to the point? Follow me.” 

  
  


Beatrice drags me downstairs to one of the lower floors. Not really feeling the dark, or the idea of tripping, I raise my wand to light some candles that float in the air. Too many experiences of tripping over a very cross Mitten. Glancing around, it seems like we’re on the lowermost floor, and...yikes. It’s some kind of storage room, packed with stuff. But this place has known magic, dark magic. I squint and the eerie, violet aura seems to surround so many of the books and objects. Beatrice can’t see it, but I think she can feel it in her gut. Hugging herself, she looks around before staring at me. “I need to show you something, but...you cannot tell Penny. Or anyone. Swear that you won’t. Swear on something that matters.” 

Not sure I can agree to keep this secret when I don’t even know what it is, but I’m clearly not going to learn the secret unless I make the promise. Under her intense gaze, I take a deep breath. “I promise. On Mitten’s life. On Jacob’s soul. I won’t tell anyone.” 

That seems to calm her down. She inhales, yet still seems slightly nervous. She’s blushing. “Okay. I’m...I’m going to take my shirt off for a moment. Don’t be weird about it!” 

“Er...alright?” This is...this is going somewhere, right? Like, there’s a point to this? What precisely is it that she wants to show me…? Well, guess I’ll find out. Beatrice steels herself and turns around, pulling off her pajama shirt to expose her back. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

“Is it...is it still there?” I haven’t heard Beatrice sound this afraid since she was inside the portrait. But she has every reason to be, and now I know why. Because there’s a mark on her back, Jacob. Far larger than the one on my hand...a black star. She’s got the Mark of Despair. No, no no no. What’s going on? 

“Beatrice...how long have you had that?” I try to sound resolved, not wanting my own fear to show. If I can show strength, she can latch onto that. 

Shivering slightly, Beatrice pulls her shirt back on and folds her arms again. “They put it on me...in that weird, portrait world. Those people in red cloaks...when they were torturing me. I thought...I thought it was just some sort of hallucination. Thought it wouldn’t be there when was set free. The other marks were gone. But I realized over the summer holiday that I still had it...then Rakepick mentioned you had a birthmark on your hand in the Sunken Vault, but...I didn’t know what it looked like until the other day.”

Red Cloaks...torturing Beatrice...no, this can’t be happening. The Cabal was inside the Portrait? And they infected her with Vigorium? I’m not doing a stellar job at hiding my fear, and I think my reaction isn’t giving Beatrice much confidence. I need to calm down. But I cannot let anything happen to her. She doesn’t deserve any more hell than she’s been through. Neither does Penny. 

“Why...why didn’t you tell anyone?” Is all I can manage to ask. 

Beatrice scowls. “_ Nobody asked. _ I told you, Luca. No one actually cares beyond a surface level for what it was like to be trapped in another world. I thought I was going to die. I thought those Red Cloaks were going to kill me. Or just enslave me for the rest of eternity. All of my nightmares were real while I was there, Luca. Nothing and nowhere was safe. How do you talk about something like that? I just wish someone, _ anyone _ had cared the slightest bit about it. But no one asked. Not Penny, not Ismelda, not even you.” 

Guilt can be its own form of punishment, but I’d rather make it right. To resolve the cold pit in my stomach, and to potentially help Beatrice move on. “I’m...asking now. What did they do to you, Bea?” 

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and breaking my gaze. “All sorts of things...tested the Unforgivables on me, at least the first two. Used legilimency. Force-fed me these weird potions, and did all sorts of other curses that covered me in tattoos. Even made me wear one of those red cloaks, and swear some kind of oath. It all felt very cult-y” 

No…

No, they can’t have. They can’t have done that. No way. Jacob, help me. I need your help. I can’t do this without you, and if they’ve taken Beatrice...if they made her take the Vow...I have to do something. I have to protect her. Trelawney said that was more than a Slider...is it because of her Mark? If Beatrice is a Mark carrier...and she’s been made to take the Vow...she’s in more danger than I anticipated. 

“Beatrice…” I don’t even know where to start. She just shrugs. 

“I mean, I wouldn’t complain so much, but sometimes I have to go back. When I touch the...the mark, even accidentally, sometimes it’s almost like I’m pulled back into that hell from before. Even if I’m nowhere near any kind of portrait. It’s like...I dunno. It feels like I left part of myself behind. Part of me that I’ll never get back.” 

Beatrice...Ben…even Gail, made to take the vow at thirteen. Remembrance is forcefully recruiting children into new lives. Ben was an experiment, Gail was insurance, and Beatrice...I don’t know what they’re going to do, but they seem to have invested a lot in her. I can’t let it go any further. I have to protect them. Even my sister. She’s clearly been brainwashed, right? I have to save them. 

“You said that you still go there sometimes? What is it like?” I slowly tug off my glove and stare at my own birthmark. Thinking back...I sometimes have nightmares about my own fears, only to wake up with my hand burning. Beatrice shivers. 

“It’s dark. It’s too dark to see much, and cold, too. Like some kind of void. The Red Cloaks are there, laughing at my pain. Usually inflicting more. Penny is there, hating what I’ve become, hating me because she thinks she’s right about everything. Sometimes you-” Beatrice breaks off, her eyes darting downward. But at long last, I think I’m starting to understand. 

“I think I’ve been there too.” I respond, looking down at my arm, at my hand. At the dark magic that surrounds my palm. No one else can see it, but I can. “When we opened the Vault of Fear, four years ago. The Boggart inside grabbed me, and took me into a void-like space. Then it tried to do the same thing last year in Knockturn Alley. But the thing is...Boggarts aren’t...well, real.” I catch Beatrice’s gaze, and gesture to my blue eye. “One of the perks of this thing - I can see through Boggart illusions. They’re just mirrors, that’s all they are. Reflecting people’s fears. They don’t really have their own identity.” 

Beatrice’s brow furrows. Not sure if it’s always been that dark, or if it’s just the makeup. “So, what are you saying?” 

“I...don’t know. I used to think that place was like, the home realm of the Boggarts. But that doesn’t make much sense. If you got there through the Portrait Curse, then it’s got to be bigger than that.” 

“Trelawney called me a Slider…” Beatrice mumbles, leaning up against the wall. “The Red Cloaks said the same thing, I overheard them. They said...someone called Olivia had been compromised. That her mind was sealed in the Mental Realm, and she was useless, so they needed to recreate her power in me.” It really seems like Beatrice has waited ages to tell someone all this, but just wanted someone to care enough that they asked. As much as I honestly do care about her ordeal, I’m a bit distracted by the name she used. It’s just too much of a coincidence. 

“Jacob had a friend named Olivia. She was involved with Remembrance too. According to them, something happened to her, but I never found out what. If she was "compromised" too, then they must have had plans for her...” 

I’m pacing now, back and forth, trying to figure it all out. “And if they want you to replace her, then that must be why Nina still wants me in the Cabal. I’m a stepping stone to get to you.” I can’t think of any other reason that Nina would allow me to join. Rakepick wants me to help depose her, Gail wants me to help save her...but Nina wants me in the Cabal too. Rakepick said that Nina wants me to succeed her. But that can’t be true. I’m already a proven enemy to Remembrance. Nina wouldn't want _me_, not when she already has Gail. No, no..there’s something else going on and Beatrice is at the heart of it. 

I look back into her scared, but defiant eyes. “You aren’t safe, Beatrice. For the time being, you definitely can’t go back to Hogwarts. But you also can’t come with us when we go to Grimmauld Place. I need you to promise me that you won’t, okay?” She’s glaring at me, and I know she’s going to refuse. So I reach out and take her hand. “This isn’t about Penny, alright? This is about you. It’s not about being the youngest either. The Cabal is targeting you specifically. Don’t make it easier for them.” 

She says nothing at first, but she also doesn’t pull away from my hand. Avoiding my eye, before catching it and looking away again, Beatrice nods slowly. But I’m not satisfied. “Promise me. Promise you won’t follow us there, or try to run off or anything like that. Swear on something that matters.” 

Beatrice looks conflicted for a moment, before her gaze lifts to meet mine. A small, tired smile appears on her face. “How bout Beatrice Jr?” Oh boy. I can only chuckle quietly. She’s said before that she thinks it’s stupid that I still have the Puffskein she made for me, and ‘_the name doesn’t help _’ but I always suspected that she found it endearing. Guess now I have proof. 

Then Beatrice shifts closer in a sharp movement, shoving me back slightly. Just like Merula, just like you, Jacob...she sometimes makes her point through violence. She’ll need to work on that, but for the time being, I listen. “Hey. If I’m sitting this one out, you better be able to manage without me. Don’t do anything stupid, got it? You get yourself killed and I’ll be pretty hacked off. Swear that you won't.” 

This is the closest Beatrice ever gets to admitting that she cares about someone. So I just not quietly. "I swear." Which seems to ease her discomfort more. Normally, Beatrice just kinda shrugs when Penny gives her love, and Ismelda never really expects any direct expression of that sort of thing. You know, I don’t think Beatrice is really the affectionate sort, at least not anymore. Not since the Mental Realm. 

I say that, but a moment later, she leans in and pecks my cheek, before pushing past me and moving toward the stairs. “Now go to bed, and don’t overthink that, yeah?” Then she’s gone. 

Eh...I mean, if it were Penny or Chiara or Andre, I’d barely bat an eye. They do this sort of thing to their friends. But Beatrice doesn’t. Since her ordeal in the Portrait, since she was marked, even giving someone a hug is a rarity for her. So what was that supposed to mean, what’s she trying to say to me? Well, no matter what she’s going through, it doesn’t change the facts. She’s in danger, and we have to protect her. Jacob, I’ll break the Invigorium Curse if it’s the last thing I ever do. 

Love, Luca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet ya didn't see that coming! Turns out Beatrice is a mark-carrier too, and...might possibly have feelings for Luca? Hmm...
> 
> Thank you again for tuning in! I know I keep saying that we're getting close to the end, but at this point I'm quite sure (85%) that there are only going to be two or three chapters more.


	38. Taking The Vow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca and their friends face off against R in the final showdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, we're finally here. Not the last chapter, but...this is essentially the climax of the story. Though, the next chapter is also that, in some ways. 
> 
> But that's enough out of me. Onto the event that has been teased for half a dozen chapters! Thanks so much for reading :D

December 7th, 1990

Dear Jacob, 

It's time. We're here.

Jacob, is it a bad sign that I'm scared witless? Because I don't want anything to happen to Tonks, who's currently morphed into my likeness. Or Merula, who's trotting on Tonks' left side as "Mitten" with me on the right side as "Bitten." I don't want anything to happen to Beatrice - Marked and bound under an Unbreakable Vow that she doesn't even understand. But how can I make sure they're all okay? How can I protect them from the Cabal? From Rakepick, Dumbledore, and our mother? If anything happens to them, I...I don't know what I'll do.

Jae pulled me aside before we left, you know. He's really matured, that boy, because he wanted to talk to me, and essentially give me the same warning that Beatrice did. To be careful, to stay safe, to not do anything rash. I think he and Chiara were up late discussing it because he seemed to know that I was out of bed. What's it say that two of my most chaotic friends both warned me to play it smart? Jae and I had a long talk about how you wouldn't want me to try and avenge you. But that's not on my agenda, it's not what I'm worried about. In my own defense, can I say that I’m not usually the rash type? That’s Merula. Tulip and I have had similar discussions, at length, about Rakepick...I don't know what Merula willl do if and when we meet with her.

Gail is waiting inside Grimmauld Place. It's big, it's old, and it carries an unease that even Snyde Manor never seemed to hold. According to Tonks, this was the house her mother grew up in. It used to belong to the Blacks. These days, Remembrance must have set it up as a base of operations. Tonks struggles to keep a straight face. She's got my clothes on, including the pendant Tulip gave me all those years ago, and the Weasley sweater Bill gifted me when I made Prefect. Meanwhile, Penny used a little magic on my cat form, to dye my blue eye green...I just hope it's enough to fool my sister.

Gail, dressed in one of those long red cloaks, approaches Tonks with a wide-eyed grin, hugging her. "Here, put this on." She passes Tonks another one of the cloaks. "The ceremony is starting soon, just make sure you're ready." I feel a shudder down my spine as she leans down to scratch my head. Could be nothing...I mean, I’ve never been one to ignore a cat that needs petting myself. But she wasn't fooled by Talbott's transformation. What if she knows the truth? "The Inner Circle is waiting upstairs."

"Inner Circle? Ceremony?" Tonks practically hiccups. I don't know that subterfuge is really her area of expertise, despite her natural abilities. She's doing the best she can at portraying me, but...

"Yeah, course." Gail pushes her hair back. "Taking the Vow is a big deal, y'know? Especially for our family. Don't worry, we can celebrate afterward, before we plan our next move. And Luca..." She grabs Tonks' arm. "I hope I don't need to tell you this, but...Mum is here. Please don't make a scene. We're all on the same side now."

On my other side, "Mitten" hisses coldly. Must be feline instinct, because suddenly I'm doing it too. Gail bites her lip and turns to head upstairs. I don't know what's scaring me more. Knowing that Nina is right upstairs when I haven't seen her in years...the thought that Tonks is going to have to carry on acting as me for someone that raised me...or the fact that Gail was looking right at me when she gave her warning. She knows. She has to know.

Tonks turns in place, steeling herself as she pulls the robe on. Merula and I glance at each other, and I know Mitten's frightened face well enough to know that Merula is just as scared as I am. Tonks leans down and places a hand on both of us. "Oi, Luca." She whispers. "Your Mum. She look like you? Meow twice if she does." So I do.

We proceed up the stairs and into a large drawing room with a family tree carved in an ornate tapestry on one side. Vaguely wondering if Tonks is on there, I turn my head at the slightest movement. Though I didn't realize it at first, we're surrounded by people. A circle of people in red cloaks with their hoods up. Lifting their wands, they create small flames and start chanting. Low voices, too low to make out the words, but...chanting. With fire. Hidden faces. 

Jacob, can I just say...what the fuck?

I don't swear easily...but come on. This is some serious cult energy. How can Gail not see it? Is this what it was like when they made her take the Vow? Did they do this to Beatrice too? My eyes dart back and forth. Tonks isn't doing a great job of hiding her fear, but I'd be scared too if it were really me, so maybe that doesn't matter. I look at Gail. She's got her wand lit too, and she's the only one with her hood down. Maybe the hood is optional - no one's asked Tonks to put hers up. Glancing back around, I nearly let out a sound as I realize one of the Red Cloaks is looking at me.

It's Rakepick. She hasn't moved her head, but from my vantage point at being so short, I can see up into her hood and she's staring right at me. She winks, and then looks ahead again. So she's here. She knows that I agreed to take the Vow with Gail too, and she clearly knows my plan to fake it. What’s she going to do? She wouldn’t expose me, would she? 

The chanting suddenly ceases, and the circle shifts in place. A figure that I didn't notice before steps into the circle once room is made for them. Wearing a cloak identical to the others, except it's snow-white in color. Furthermore, with their hood up, their face is completely obscured. When they speak, their voice is distorted the way Ben's voice was when they possessed him.

"Thank you. Initiation may now begin."

Though she’s now addressing the White Cloak, Gail is staring at Tonks. "Director, a new member, of shared blood, wishes to be properly recognized as part of the family.” 

"Indeed..." The Director regards Tonks slowly. With a stab of fear, I realize who's under that cloak. "And you endorse their admittance, daughter? You vouch for them?"

"I do." Gail nods sincerely. "Through outside circumstances, they were made aware of The Cause, and they wish to help. They've proven time and again how useful they could be, in opening the Cursed Vaults. With their efforts, were it not for the traitor Jacob, we would have the Hogwarts Treasure by now."

So The Cabal...doesn't have the treasure? Jacob, does that mean you hid it somewhere? No time to worry about that right now. The Director nods. "Are there any objections? Does anyone wish to present a case against Luca Fawley's admittance to the Inner Circle?"

"No."

The echo of voices is terrifying. They seriously all said it at once. What is going on? 

"Very well. It has been decided." The Director moves further into the center of the circle. She removes her hood. I flinch slightly, feeling a twitch in my tail. Jacob, there she is. Tonks stares back with wide eyes - probably not knowing what reaction she should give. Nina stares back with a small smile. Closes her eyes. Speaks again, this time with her own voice. "Between family, I think masks should come off. If you’re going to take the vow, Luca, you’ll need to return to human form.” 

Several things happen at once. Merula changes back immediately and aims her wand at Nina, who is nodding in Rakepick’s direction. Tonks raises her wand as well, but she and Merula are quickly overpowered. Without Nina giving a single order, Red Cloaks attack, disarming my friends and binding them with ropes. However, two of the Red Cloaks do nothing. They turn and whisper to each other, as I suddenly feel the searing heat of a curse. Someone is magically forcing me back to human form. Probably Rakepick. A moment later, binding ropes restrain me as well. Nina claps slowly. "I commend the effort, kiddo. Truly. That kind of forward thinking will serve the Cause quite well. But you can't expect to deceive the Inner Circle and get away with it." She looks at me. I look down. I was getting so much better about eye contact, but no. Not...not with her.

Gail moves closer, looking devastated. "Luca, how could you? We made a promise. You told me you wanted to join." Nina watches as Gail moves to stand right in front of me, cupping my face. "But you lied about everything. You're just as bad as Jacob!" She shouts. Strikes my face with a hard blow. Yet just before pulling away, she winks at me. Nina..didn't see that.

She approaches her daughter and lays a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, dear. It looks as though they’re Jacob’s sibling, first and foremost. Their brother has has gotten to them, and there aren't too many cures for poison like that." _ Poison...? _ Jacob, I think you may be one of my triggers. Because when Nina starts talking about you like that, I...feel rage unlike any that I've ever known, except about you...but Jae warned me. Beatric warned me. Don't do anything stupid. Don't get yourself killed. It was never like I wanted revenge, and I still don't. But how dare Nina talk about you like that...?

"So...what now?" Gail looks wide-eyed at Nina. "We know memory charms aren't going to work on them. We could try the Imperius Curse, but your experiments on Jacob proved ineffective. Can we risk Luca breaking free as well?"

I can feel Nina's eyes on me. There's an agonizing pause, during which everyone is silent. Finally, Nina moves closer to me. Grabs my face and forces it at an angle to look at her. "Luca." She adopts a softer tone, as though I had just fallen and scraped a knee. "What do you want me to do? This is where you belong, and I don’t know how else to prove that to you. Think of all the terrible things you’ve seen people do with power...the Death Eaters, the Ministry, Dumbledore too...he nearly had you killed several times. It's because of them that we lost Dad. With us, you could be safe and protected.” 

She pauses, and her eyes darken. “But you've been a problem in the past. You conspired to have me killed, didn't you?" I don't have a great poker-face, and my shock is clear. Nina simply grins. "Oh yes, I know about that. Would I be a good mother if I didn't make absolutely sure of your well-being?" She traces a finger over my magic eye slowly, and withdraws an odd looking silver spyglass from her cloak pocket. "Omnioculus Charm. I didn't leave you behind without a way to keep watch. I've reviewed everything that's befallen you since third year."

Oh my god. Oh my god. She's...been watching. Everything. She's seen...everything? There are so many implications that I can't even think of them all and I'm not sure that I want to. There's the immediately dire stuff, like her knowing about Rakepick's plot, but then there's just...other stuff. Like...private moments with my partners. Moments where people confided in me. I feel so bloody violated.

"That's sick!" Merula shouts from across the room, still bound. "That's over the line!"

Nina ignores her. Simply looks at me coolly. "I make no apologies for keeping watch over my child. But you've gotten into a lot of trouble, Luca. If you wish, we can talk about Jacob. I realize you may never forgive me for that. I may never forgive myself, either. But to protect you from what he would have put you through? I would do it again. Now the time has come to make up your mind. Do you want a family or not? I sincerely hope you do...because I don't wish to do what I'll need to, if you refuse. Jacob betrayed us and it nearly destroyed the family. If you do the same, we may never recover."

I slowly lift my head. Stare into her eyes. Nina gazes at me in anticipation.

And I spit in her face.

Jacob, that was for you.

Might have been a mistake, actually. I need to make more careful moves if I want to protect my friends. But I just can’t bring myself to speak to Nina. It’s like I have a frog in my throat. Meanwhile, she’s looking incensed. Doing that thing where her eyebrow twitches. But she keeps composure well. Slowly wiping her face and turning around. Like Rakepick, she's always been good at concealing true emotions. I'm not surprised that she fooled Gail. "That's a shame, Luca. You could have been brilliant. But our plans can move forward without you. Gail is the protege and heir that you could never be.” 

Nina looks over at Gail, who returns the smile. Only it doesn’t seem to reach her eyes, and she turns profile rather quickly to look at me. Nina is still talking. “The Cabal is making a world worth remembering. All we need is more Invigorium - the Sliders are the key. And as we speak, Henry and Judith, your grandparents, are retrieving Beatrice Haywood. Once we have her, the game is over.” 

“You can’t!” Tonks shouted. “You don’t even know where we’re…” She trails off. Of course. Nina knows everything. She doesn’t just know where we’ve been staying. She knows how to bypass all the protective enchantments. All it would take is Mark of Despair, and Grandpa has one. 

“She’d never go with them.” Merula snarls. “She’s smarter than that! My house is crawling with seventh years who would die before they let Haywood go.” She’s got a point there. Penny would cast every Unforgivable Curse before she let the Cabal take Beatrice. Ismelda would use them as a warning. That’s not even getting into Tulip’s abilities. 

“She would never go with Henry, but tell me Luca, would Beatrice ever doubt her favorite friend?” Nina grins slowly. “She’s got a little crush on you, by the looks of it. Why would she ever doubt you?” 

Gail chimes in. “We’ve had access to your likeness ever since the Sunken Vault. Once you and Merula were stunned, it was far too easy to swipe your hair. We don’t have a Metamorphmagus on hand, so we use good old fashioned Polyjuice...no one in that house is going to question the two of “you” returning for the Slider.”

You know what? It’s been a long while since I last vomited. Gross, I know, but I don’t think it’s happened since I was very young, and had dragon pox. I had almost forgotten the terrible sensation. But I remember it in full force now, because the nausea building in me is truly something else. I doubt I’m actually going to be sick, but...Beatrice. They’re going to capture Beatrice. And I can’t do a thing about it. I could offer to rescind my refusal, and swear the Unbreakable Vow. For Beatrice, I’d do that. And it’s not like I would have any room to betray the Cabal down the road. So Nina might be inclined to accept. 

But then again, there’s no way she would ever let a Marked Slider out of her grip. She might promise to, if it appeased me, but she wouldn’t actually do it. And then, Beatrice and I would both be trapped in Remembrance. 

I think Nina can sense what I’m thinking. She doesn’t need legilimency to do that. She simply knows me too well. Crossing swords with the person who raised you has its own share of complications. “I have to think logically. It pains me to say, but the Haywood girl is more important than you now. The Cause must be fulfilled, and as it stands, you've been compromised. You wouldn’t flourish in the Cabal, Luca. You’re also semi-immune to most forms of Mental Magic, meaning we can’t simply correct you. Dear, you’ve become a problem with no easy solution."

That's when Rakepick suddenly moves forward, dropping her hood. "Oh, don't mince words, Nina. Don't sugarcoat it. What you're saying is that Luca has to die, right?" There's a stirring among the Red Cloaks. Is it my imagination or do they seem uncomfortable with Rakepick's declaration?

There's a scream from nearby. Merula struggles violently against her restraints, shouting profanities, shouting that she won't let Rakepick hurt me, until she is suddenly silenced with a spell.

Gail lowers her wand. "Don't be stupid, Rakepick. The Cabal doesn't kill people, we fix them. Killing goes against what we stand for. And Luca shares blood, Mum isn't about to harm them. Right Mum?"

Nina looks deeply uncomfortable. Like she doesn't know how to answer. Rakepick simply smirks. But at that moment, the two Red Cloaks from before step forward, and drop their hoods. It's a man and a woman that I don't recognize. But the woman has violet eyes. Distinctly familiar violet eyes. "Wait, Merula? Is that...really you?"

All eyes are on Merula. She can't speak, with Gail's silencing charm active, but I see her mouthing the words "Mum" and "Dad." Without another word the two figures rush to her and embrace her. It's them. It really is them - as I get a better look, I start to recognize them from the family photos I've seen. Nigel and Aurelia. Nina slowly rubs her temples, as Tonks looks between her, and the reunion.

"Hold on a mo', Merula's parents are involved? I thought they were in Azkaban?"

"Your family is involved too, Miss Tonks. Your great Uncle Orion was once Director." Rakepick folds her arms. "The Cabal's influence reaches further than most people are aware."

Just then, at the sound of Rakepick's voice, Aurelia slowly lifts her head, with an expression that terrifies me. Jacob, hell hath no fury like a Snyde who’s angry with you.

"You told us...you told Nigel and I that our daughter was dead. That the aurors...that they had killed her. All this time..." Aurelia draws her wand. Rakepick simply shrugs.

"That's no surprise." Gail snaps. "Rakepick has a habit of breaking up families, don't you?" She stares at her adoptive mother with loathing. And yet...there's something else going on. I can feel it. Some kind of greater play at work here. For her part, Rakepick just smirks.

"Don't look at me. I did my best to watch over your daughter during my stint at Hogwarts."

"You tortured her!" I can't stop myself from shouting. Rakepick shrugs again.

"I simply follow orders. The Director was very clear about the Snyde case."

Now it's Nigel's turn to look up. As he shoots Nina a look of disbelief, I catch sight of Merula. She's simply weeping, resting her head against her father's chest, as he stares at Nina, who refuses to look at the Snyde family. "You were compromised, Nigel. You and Aurelia had too much to lose, too much emotional investment with a child in the picture."

"It didn't help when you refused to promise Merula to the Cabal." Rakepick chimes in, glancing between Nina and Aurelia. "We saved you from Azkaban, and even after taking the Vow, you wouldn't fully commit to the Cause. Our dear Director was simply ensuring that you had to."

Nina glares at Rakepick, before glancing at Merula and her parents. She still isn’t showing an ounce of remorse. “Don’t look so shocked. Part of this job means I have to make judgment calls that no one else can make. Sever all emotional attachments. Orion put me through the same brand of hell. You know what he told me when I gave birth to twins? “Three children is too many, Nina. You’re compromised.” 

Gail suddenly takes a step back, as though she was slammed by a door. Something changes in her eyes. Nina isn’t even sparing her a thought, and yet her words have done permanent damage. So it was Orion that sent Gail away. And Nina let it happen. Taking a deep breath, seeming to recover, Gail tugs on her mother’s sleeve. "Mum, if Tonks and Merula share blood, we should recruit them too. An Animagus, and a Metamorphmagus? Think how powerful Remembrance could be with those abilities!"

"No, Gail. They can't be trusted. None of Luca's friends will ever support us. The Slider is all we need. Everyone else is an obstacle."

Aurelia moves to hold Merula closer. "But you haven't even asked her. You don't know who she'll side with. If she's _ willing _ to take the Vow, there's nothing to lose."

Rakepick lets out a barking laugh." Don't bother. The Director has made it clear in the past that shared blood doesn't mean much to her. If it did, Jacob Fawley would still be alive."

Nina shoots a look at Rakepick that is filled with daggers. "Even you, Patricia, shouldn't be so quick to speak out of turn." She holds up that damn Spyglass again. "I'm aware that Luca plotted against me. Don't you think I know who they plotted with?"

"I'm so glad you brought that up." Rakepick smirks. Moving further into the circle to address everyone. "It's true. I conspired with Luca Fawley, a hopeful recruit, but our dear Director got some of the details wrong. At no point did we seriously discuss killing her. Luca may have _ assumed _ I was after blood... but unlike Nina, I do things by the book." She turns back to Rakepick. "At this moment, with the Inner Circle to bear witness, I declare a Challenge."

That gets everyone's attention. Nigel and Aurelia seem stunned. There's a torrent of murmurs among the Red Cloaks. Nina is thunderstruck. I don’t think I’ve seen this look on her face since her magic started failing. "A Challenge? Here, now? Is that some sort of joke? You don't really expect the Circle to listen to your nonsense, do you Patricia?"

"Just what is a ruddy challenge anyhow?" Tonks interjects, giving voice to what I'm wondering. But I haven't said a word to Nina since we got here and I don't plan on breaking that silence. She's heard enough of my words over her little spyglass. Meanwhile, Nigel shoots a glance at Tonks. She's still technically an "outsider" but it seems like everyone has either forgotten about that or simply stopped caring.

"A Challenge is, in essence, a vote of no-confidence." Nigel explains quietly. "The Director always selects their own Successor, which, by tradition, is usually their child. But a Challenger can make their claim for the position of Director, or else nominate a Proxy. We don't make them lightly, though. A failed Challenge normally results in reconditioning for the Challenger."

Re...conditioning? I'm reminded again of Wormtail's description of the Cabal "correcting" people. Reminded again that they seem to favor mental magic, and hold no qualms about using it on other human beings. They seem to think of it as morally superior to killing. Which...is debatable, as far as I'm concerned.

Nina and Rakepick stare at each other. Rakepick is smirking. "Rare or not, a Challenge is well within the rules. But I can forgive Nina if that slipped her mind - after all, she employed other methods to get her current position.” Nina can do nothing except glower, as Rakepick carries on. “I believe our Director is leading us to ruin, and that she has violated the spirit of our Cause, for a number of reasons - primarily her body count. Will the Inner Circle hear my case?"

"Yes." This time, it's only one voice. The voice of Aurelia, who is staring at Nina with hatred. After she agrees, the rest of the circle chime in with their drone of "yes." Nina is looking around, and I can tell that she's starting to lose her cool.

"Very well, Patricia. The Circle recognizes your right to present your case. But I don't know why you're bothering. Your last attempt failed, remember?"

Rakepick chuckles. "Was that the real reason you killed Jacob? Because you knew he was supporting my claim?"

Her last attempt? Jacob? Nina's nostrils flare, and I turn to look at Rakepick, trying to glean some sort of explanation, but she doesn't catch my eye or elaborate. Behind me, I hear Nina's voice.

"Such a hypocrite. What about dear old Eileen? You claim to be better than me, but there is not a single transgression I've committed that you haven't. I would like to assure the Circle that my record is a drop in the bucket next to Patricia Rakepick. You have a history of working against us, before you took the Vow. Under penalty of oath-breaking, do you deny this?"

Rakepick rolls her eyes. "Literally everyone knows that, Nina. Despite having so many spies and having your eye in the sky, as it were...you fail to understand your own people. What makes you think I want your job? What makes you think I have any interest in being the Director?” Before Nina can respond, Rakepick takes a step closer, to stand more in the center. “I choose to nominate Gail Fawley as my proxy.” 

This seems to confuse people, and while my understanding of most of this is hazy, it’s not hard to figure out why. Nina just said that Gail was her successor five minutes ago. Behind Nina, Gail says nothing. She simply lifts her hood and conceals her face. To her left comes a voice. “What’s the point in that?” One of the hooded Red Cloaks asks. “If she’ll eventually become Director either way?” 

Rakepick clicks her tongue. “The point is that ‘eventually’ isn’t soon enough. Given Nina’s track record, I worry for Gail’s safety. The current Director has an unfortunate history of killing her own kids. She also killed Orion, claiming that he was a “traitor” but let’s be honest - she just wanted his job. She was angry that he made her send her daughter away. She was emotionally compromised.” 

“Orion was a traitor.” Nina snarls. “He was no better than my son. We all know this - we know Orion wanted Remembrance to ally with the Death Eaters.” 

“An alliance which only caused the Death Eaters to dwindle even further as members defected and flocked to us.” Rakepick reminds her. “Some of Dumbledore’s puppets too. Orion doubled our recruitment efforts, and still managed to keep us in the shadows. Ever since you took over, the Cabal has been noticed by authorities more and more. The Aurors are on our trail. Recruitment is at an all-time-low. And murder, something that is only ever supposed to be an absolute last resort...has become your preferred method of operation. It’s true, I killed Eileen...you would have done the same. Just like you killed Jacob, Orion...and Eric, too.” 

Eric…? Does she mean…no, that can’t be. Snape did that. Snape...is the one who killed Dad. With dragon pox. The pox that Mum never got, even though the rest of us did. The pox that Dad was recovering from...until one night, when it suddenly got severely worse, and we lost him. Healers could never explain how it happened. 

Yeah, feeling very sick. Might keel over. Jacob, my entire life is a lie. 

Nina has flushed, as the Red Cloaks start to stir and whisper to each other. “Is this true?” One of them seems to ask Nina. Our mother doesn’t seem to be able to answer, so Rakepick fills in. 

“All she had to do was convince Snape that Eric was the true Director, that he had been the one to give Eileen Invigorium. Snape infected Jacob with Dragon Pox so Jacob’s family would contract it...making a decent cover story for the poison that took Eric’s life. When it was over, all she needed to do was feed Luca and Jacob antidotes. Eric was beginning to doubt Nina’s leadership. So she killed him. Don’t you think we should remove her from power before she tries it again?” 

“Rakepick has always strived to cause trouble.” Nina interjects, her voice rising in volume. “She hated the Cause, when she first learned of it. Declared war on us. She would let her Vow take her own life before she behaved. We all know she’s out-of-control. Who would be mad enough to listen to her words?”

Gail still hasn’t said anything, or moved at all. She’s hiding behind her hood. I keep shooting glances at her. But it isn’t until Rakepick speaks again that her face shifts. Is she looking toward the door? I can’t necessarily tell. 

“You think that was end of it? What about sending Dementors after Luca’s friends under the guise of testing them? As if you didn’t know Luca would resist their effects.We discussed it at length, Nina. I am prepared to submit memories as evidence - Nina was very obsessed with getting Luca’s friends out of the picture. She knew how important they were to Luca leading a life outside of the Cabal. My orders, in the Underground Vault, were to kill everyone other than Luca, before bringing them to Nina. But Severus Snape can be useful, on occasion - he armed Luca beforehand, which gave me an excuse to escape. For what it’s worth, Merula...I do regret what I did to you. But I had to sell it, didn’t I?” 

Everything is starting to collapse around me. My hand is burning. Am I going into another mental break? No...not here, not now. I have to stay alert. Have to make sense of all this. Have to make sure Nina and Rakepick don’t harm my friends. What about Merula’s parents...can they be trusted? I honestly don’t know. I can’t even speak right now. Nothing is making sense. It’s Tonks who asks what I don’t have the voice to ponder. 

“If the Dementors were you, and the Dragon Pox...that was you too...then who sent that Lethifold? I thought it was Snape?” Her voice helps ground me. Keep me in this reality. Stops me from slipping back into the Mental Realm. But before anyone can answer her, there’s a sound from below us. Someone has entered the house. A few moments later, my Grandparents enter, levitating Beatrice, who’s also bound. No...stay...present. Do not fall into your mind. You have to protect her, Luca. 

“Good, you’re here.” Nina looks relieved for the first time since the Challenge started. “Judith, Henry, you won’t believe this...we’re in the middle of a Challenge. Rakepick has so many wonderful stories to share.” She snickers. “Wants to use Gail as a proxy.” 

Judith laughs. “Gail is a child.” 

Rakepick raises an eyebrow. “She’s of age, and she’s a damn sight better than our current director. Gail may be young, but she’s talented, and personable. She has integrity. She has a vision for the Cabal’s future. Nina is just destroying whatever she decides has gotten in her way. The sooner her prodigy takes over, the better. Gail would never lie to the Circle...but Nina? How many of Nina’s lies have been unearthed in the last hour alone?” 

Henry uses his wand to lower Beatrice down onto the floor. Like me, she appears to be remaining silent out of defiance, though she does catch my eye. “Strange, it would seem to me that Nina’s leadership just got us the Slider we need. 

“There may have been a few failures in the past, but with this child, the Cabal will see a new dawn.” Judith agrees. “Besides, Rakepick’s made an obvious miscalculation. Gail understands the value of family. She would never support her own claim before it’s her time.” 

“Wrong.” 

Gail suddenly drops her hood and stares right at Nina. Nothing, and I mean nothing thus far, has stunned our mother like this. It’s a betrayal that I genuinely don’t think she saw coming. But I did. What gets me though, is that Gail and Rakepick seem to have been involved in some sort of plan all along. That’s when I understand...Nina had Rakepick procure the magic eye. Rakepick must have known about Nina’s spyglass. Must have told Gail. The two of them were tricking me the whole time - and more importantly, tricking Nina. 

“I do understand the value of family. Far better than you ever could, mother.” Gail hisses in Nina’s direction. “I was so excited to meet you, y’know. I was ecstatic. Then I really got to know you. All crocodile tears and no substance. You killed my brother. I’ll never know him and it’s your fault.” Gail shouts, her eyes welling up. “He shared blood! He was one of us, traitor or not.” 

Gail wipes her eyes, and stares at Nina, who looks stricken. “I move to press my claim as your successor, as Rakepick’s proxy. Do I have an endorsement?” 

“Right here.” It’s Aurelia. Cradling Merula’s head in her arms and nodding slowly, with a ferocious look in those familiar eyes. “I endorse Gail Fawley’s claim for Director. That’s all we need. Cast the votes.” 

Nina is looking around and all pretense is gone. She’s petrified. Rakepick folds her arms and her hawk-eyes glint. “All in favor of Nina stepping down?” There’s a pause...and then every single Red Cloak in the room calls out “Aye” in that familiar drone. Only it’s not nearly as dull anymore. 

Nina is shaking, still holding her wand...or at least, some wand that she’s using. She’s looking around, as if trying to think of some way to keep her power, without violating her own Vow. For my part, I feel relief mixed with unease. I’d rather have Gail in charge than Nina or even Rakepick...but I don’t know how much of Gail’s spouting Remembrance rhetoric was just for the eye-spy. What if she really believes it? What if she won’t let Beatrice go so easily? 

“Now that that’s out of the way…” Suddenly, Judith’s posture shifts, and she jerks her head in Henry’s direction. “We don't need these enchantments anymore. House is surrounded anyway.” 

Henry nods. “Quite right.” In another moment, I watch my grandfather cast the revealing charm. And all of a sudden, it’s not Henry and Judith. It’s Dumbledore, and Mad-Eye Moody. There’s a pause, where I think just about everyone is taking in what just happened, before several Red Cloaks raise their wands. Rakepick simply watches in interest. But Moody and Dumbledore don’t even try to defend themselves. 

“Forget it, “Remembrance.” Moody snaps. “Aurors are ready to take you all in. It’s over.”

“Alastor.” Dumbledore’s voice is as soft as ever. “We are only here for Nina. You know as well as I do that we cannot prove each and every member of the Cabal committed a crime.” I find myself glancing involuntarily at Nigel and Aurelia, who, it seems, had enough brains to pull their hoods up again. 

“You can’t.” It’s Nina. Her fury is now very poorly contained. “What crime am I meant to have committed? You have no evidence against me. I admit to nothing!” 

Rakepick gives a barking laugh. “The crime is murder, of your own flesh and blood. You already admitted it, and it won’t be hard to get some testimony. But concerning evidence…” She waves her wand, and something starts to move in my cloak pocket. In another second, I feel sharp wood jabbing my chest - before the broken pieces of the hazel wand fly out. She’s summoned them. 

Nina makes a dive for the pieces but Gail shoots a quick knockback jinx in her direction, as Dumbledore withdraws his own wand, and glances over at me. “Apologies, Luca. You’re right. Sometimes there are much bigger games at play. I knew your mother was watching. If I had told you the truth about her and Professor Snape, we might never have been able to set this trap, you see..._ Reparo. _” Just like that, Dumbledore repairs the Hazel wand. I didn’t even know that was possible. 

Nina is now staring at Rakepick with utter loathing. “You conspired with Dumbledore? With the Ministry?! You betrayed the Cabal! How are you alive! Your Vow should have killed you by now!” 

Rakepick moves closer to Nina. Stands right in front of her, almost nose to nose. “I’m good at breaking curses.” She taunts. “An old friend by the name of Crouch owed me a favor. So when I took the Vow, he stood in for me. Knew you wouldn’t fall for the same trick twice.” She claps a hand on Nina’s cheek, who shoved her away. 

Dumbledore hands the wand to Moody. Nina’s face is slowly sagging more and more as he speaks. “Take this wand to the Ministry. Ollivander can verify that it belongs to Nina Fawley. The Reverse Spell Effect may take a while, as it will be forced to cycle through Luca’s first five years at Hogwarts...but eventually, you will find several uses of the Killing Curse.” Dumbledore then waves his wand again, and the ropes binding Tonks, Merula, Beatrice and I, disappear. 

Moody glances around at the rest of the Red Cloaks, looking reluctant. “And the rest of them? We really just let em go, Dumbledore? Some of them served the Dark Lord, y’know…”

Is there anyone, and I mean anyone, who wasn’t playing a bigger game in all this? Rakepick, Gail, Nina, Dumbledore, Snape...even me. I came into this room hoping to fool Gail into giving me more information with the whole Tonks gambit. But she’s been planning this for much longer, it seems. Right now, she’s beaming. Throwing a glance at Moody, she folds her arms. “Just a heads up, if you were to try and arrest me, the Cabal would be honor-bound to defend my life and well-being. They’d never let you take me.” 

Nina’s gaze darts between Moody and Gail. “That’s right...everyone under the Vow would be obligated to defend the Cabal’s leadership from an outside attack….” She’s now gazing at Gail hungrily. Her eyes are bloodshot. “You haven’t been officiated yet. Until we hold the ceremony for you...I’m still Director.” She suddenly grabs the Hazel wand from Moody’s hand and brandishes it in the air. For someone with no Fawley blood, she sure does look mad right now. “And if you meet your end here, I always will be!” Gail ducks the first spell, but Nina swings her wand again. “I’m sick of dealing with traitors! _ Avada Ked _-” 

“GAIL!” 

That last scream was me. I don’t know what made me do it, but I ran forward to push her out of the way. All I could think of in that moment was that my mother was not about to kill another one of my siblings. No way in hell. But I didn’t quite think it through, Jacob. The blast of green light hits me right in the chest, as though being absorbed into me. All of a sudden, I can’t breathe. My hand is burning.

Merula is screaming, yet even though I can sense it, I appear to have gone deaf. All eyes are on me, and yet...in my peripheral vision, I can see Beatrice and Gail losing consciousness. Fainting. In another moment, I collapse as well. 

Jacob, I think I...I think I just died….

Love...Luca? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0/10, no one took the vow. Fake as hell. 
> 
> For real though, if you made it this far, you have earned an internet cookie. This chapter was way longer than I anticipated. 
> 
> Some (slight) redemption for Dumbledore, and Nina took a level in jerkass. Rakepick continues to be a trickster, and Merula is reunited with her parents! Yay? 
> 
> Oh, and Luca died. Guess that kinda sucks too.


	39. The Dragon Flies Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Realms hang in the balance as Luca's friends struggle to break the Invigorium Curse once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What...? What do you mean it's been over a month? Haha, you must be confused, it's clearly still December!
> 
> ...Yeah, I have no excuse for the hiatus. But I definitely appreciate your patience and I will now reward you with what is easily the longest, most dense chapter of the story thus far. And considering that it's part two of the climax, it better be. 
> 
> Please enjoy!! 
> 
> (But, wait. Didn't Luca die at the end of the previous chapter? Hmm. Funny, that.)

**\- ? ? ? ? ? - **

Dear Dad,

Have I ever written one of these to you before? I'm not at all sure that I have. What a curious thing. In some ways, you're the least problematic person in my family. Marginally speaking. You still joined a cult and recruited your students while you were a Professor...but so did Rakepick. That's actually small potatoes compared to everything else. I know the truth now, I finally understand...It turns out that Mum...Mum was behind your death. Snape helped, but only because she lied to him. And she sent the Dementors, too. I don't know about the Lethifold...but she did kill you. Just like Jacob. What am I saying? He was the most well-adjusted out of all of us Fawleys, by far. At least he could see Remembrance for what it really is. Sorry Dad.

I wonder how you would feel about all of this if you were alive. I wonder if you may actually be out there somewhere. After all, Gail turned out to be alive. So, should I hold onto hope? Or am I setting myself up for eventual disappointment? At this point, anything is possible, right? I say this because when I start to awaken, in the Hospital Wing, I initially wonder if I've suffered brain damage. Or if I'm under the influence of some curse. Wondering how I could be back at Hogwarts. There’s someone standing over my bedside.My stomach gives a lurch and I flinch back. “Get away!” 

"Luca, relax, you’re okay.” Nina frowns, as though she has no idea why I reacted to her the way I did. “Bad dream? Come on, up and at em, Madam Pomfrey says you're good to go." She’s looking at me with a brightness in her eyes that I haven’t seen since before I started school. She reaches over to ruffle my hair the way she used to do, when I was little. Without hesitation I slap her hand away, hard. But, in the interim, I notice that there is quite a bit of hair to play with. My hair...is long again? I reach up to touch it as well. Unless I've been in a coma for eight months, there's no way it's gotten this long.

Nina is looking at me with greater concern now, holding her palm. “Okay, ouch...guess I’ll overlook that. How bad was that fall, anyway? Skye said you were by the goalposts when that bludger struck.” 

I just stare at her, not comprehending. She blinks, takes a deep breath, and searches for something to say. “She came to visit you an hour ago, brought you a chocolate frog." Nina picks up the frog from the nearby desk and tosses it onto the bed, now looking far more wary. What kind of game is she playing? If I wasn’t so sluggish, I’d have hexed her by now. Is she trying to poison me? No...she could have just killed me while I was unconscious, if she really wanted to. There's a pause, and I wordlessly start to open up the frog’s packaging. Maybe if I eat something, even candy, I'll be able to wake up more and remember things with more clarity. I could have sworn that Nina just mentioned me playing Quidditch. Biting into the frog, I take a look at the Card.

It's...the Merlin card. The one Jacob gave me. The only one I kept after giving my collection to Rowan. Dad, this isn't just a duplicate, this is the exact same card. Right down to being all chewed up after a certain Mitten found it. This...this can't be. I slowly look up at my mother, clutching the card more tightly. As if sensing my rage, Nina takes another step back as I glare at her. “Do you...think this is funny? Is this your idea of a joke? I suppose you searched my dormitory, too?” The words coming out of my mouth have a tone that I’ve never heard before. But I suppose this conversation was a long time coming. Dad, I haven’t even scratched the surface of what Nina’s done. She’s been spying on me for years. She tried to kill my sister. She…

Wait...she tried to kill Gail. Cast the killing curse. Which I intercepted. I remember now. The moment I do, it’s like a light goes on in her head. Nina’s face seems to instantly shift from bewilderment to that same dull, disdainful look she wore when she murdered your son. 

“A joke? Luca, wake up. You’re dying. You threw your life away, just like your renegade brother. All to protect some girl you barely know, for no other reason than because she shares your blood...sound familiar? You’re not superior to the Cabal, you simply decided to form your own inner circle. When you ran, they followed. When you were in danger, they shielded you. We are the same, Luca. Here at the end, you amounted to nothing - just like me. All three of my children stabbed me in the back. What a lovely legacy.” 

I force myself out of the hospital bed, my vision blurring. Reaching into my pocket, the silver lime wand is ready to assist me. “No. I may struggle with self-respect sometimes, but one thing that helps me remember I’m a good person is knowing that I. Am nothing. Like you.” I spit out. “Now get out of my way. I need to finish what should already be over.” Pointing my wand at Nina, half-worried that some teacher or auror might burst in, I bellow “_ Petrificus Totalus! _” 

Nina freezes into a statue and falls backward against the wall at an angle. Pocketing my wand, I glance toward the door, and back at her. It’s time to clear out. “Goodbye, Mum.” I murmur, before exiting the Hospital Wing. If those are the last words I ever say to her, I think I can live with that. But something...isn't right here. Not just that my mother somehow escaped the Aurors, there’s just too much else that doesn’t make sense. She said I was dying ,and if my memories are real...then yeah, I should be dead. Unless...I am? But if that’s the case, what the hell is she doing here? Why am I back at Hogwarts? Where's Jacob? Where are you? This is all wrong. I'm not sure where to go, but I eventually find myself in the Hufflepuff Basement. I'm immediately accosted by Skye Parkin, however, who hugs me and punches my shoulder. "You gave us a real fright y'know. Mcnully cried like a baby."

I open my mouth, wanting to ask her how we all got here and what happened, but I'm completely thrown off by how dark the Hufflepuff Common Room is. Normally, we keep things brightly lit. But there are dark curtains hanging over the windows as though someone died. The memory of flashing green light echoes through my head and I feel eerily sick. "I'm fine Skye. At least, I hope so..." My eyes scan the room until they find Penny, who is staring at us - well, at Skye, with a dull smile. Skye follows my eyes, and when she looks at Penny, the latter quickly averts her eyes and blushes scarlet.

Wait a second....

I move over to the couch to sit beside Penny. Still blushing and stealing glances at Skye, she hugs me as well. "How are you feeling?"

She doesn't look especially young. Neither does Skye. Glancing downward slightly, I notice Penny's Prefect badge. Lifting my hand, I realize I'm also wearing my own. So...I haven't gone backwards in time, then? So why am I playing Quidditch and not Penny? Why does she seem so flustered around Skye? "I'm okay. Saw you making eyes though. How's that going?" I try to sound normal. This could all be some sort of trick, or trap...but it's hard not to trust Penny.

She shushes me, glancing at the spot where Skye was, and biting her lip. "Oh, don't give me grief. Not like you don't have a fan-girl of your own." She suddenly smirks, jerking her head toward the table in the corner of the room. Beatrice is sitting there, and...what the bloody hell? She's ditched her goth get-up. Or maybe she never had it, in this weird timeline. I don't know. All I know is her style is much closer to her sister's, but she looks fourteen, not eleven. So yeah, definitely haven't gone back in time.

Beatrice is stealing glances at me, before returning to her homework. Penny playfully raises her eyebrows at me. "When I mentioned your relationship was polyamorous, you should have seen how intrigued she was." Penny then gets up and stretches. "I think I'm going to bed. Pet Mitten for me, yeah?"

In another moment, Penny's gone. I look around the room. Skye has left too. No sign of Rowan, of Tonks or Chiara or Mcnully. So I turn and approach Beatrice. I have a fleeting memory that she was in danger, though I can't quite explain it. The Cabal...that's right. The Marks! I suddenly look downward at my hand...no, it's still there. The black star is ever-present. Which potentially means Beatrice still has hers, though I can’t really verify that right now. I look up again to see Beatrice staring at me.

When our eyes meet, she blushes slightly. I guess she really does fancy me, then. Not sure what to do about that, it's one problem among many. Beatrice looks away and mutters something under her breath. I move closer, tilting my head. "What was that?"

She looks angry now, though she refuses to re-establish eye contact. "You promised..."

"I what?"

Beatrice suddenly turns and shoves me, causing me to fall to the floor. I suppose she's always been strong, and I'm one hundred pounds soaking wet. "You promised, Luca! You swore to me that you wouldn't put your life in danger!"

What...? She...she knows? She remembers? I start to sit up. Try to speak. But Beatrice has now gone very pale. She's looking around the room, her eyes flashing. A great shadow is falling over her form. I turn around and feel my blood turn cold.

The curtains draped over the windows...aren't curtains.

"This way!" I grab her hand and we make a break for the Boy's Dormitory. The door sticks fast. The lethifolds are closing in. With Beatrice now clutching my arm, I turn back around, aiming the silver lime wand and letting my mind wander back to the day Rowan and I reconciled, and they cuddled Cat-Luca all afternoon. "_ Expecto Patronum! _"

A version of my beloved Mitten, composed of silver light, shoots out of my wand and starts dashing at the living shrouds. For the most part, she seems to drive them off. All except one, that seems to swallow up my poor Patronus with minimal effort. The remaining lethifold advances on us further and, to my horror, it speaks.

"_ Foolish child. We...are stronger here. Always stronger at our roots. _" It speaks, in that same echoing whisper that the Dementor had. That voice is going to haunt my nightmares, Dad. Beatrice hides her face in my neck, and I level my wand.

"Get back."

"_ No...no, Luca. We have business that we must conclude. You know this. Our previous conversation was...interrupted. _"

Oh Merlin.

It's the same lethifold. The one that tried to kill me when I was eleven and has haunted me ever since. This was after you died, Dad. Just after Nina killed Jacob. My would-be killer has come back to finish the job. If we don't get away, it won't kill just me. Beatrice will be left defenseless. I brandish my wand.

"Get. Back."

"_ Not until I've eaten. I've been awaiting this meal for a long ti- _"

"I wasn't talking to you." I cut the creature off. Turning to Beatrice. "You need to get away from the door. Trust me." Her deep blue eyes stare fearfully back into mine, but she does as I ask. Moving to the corner of the room as I level my wand. The lethifold is cornering me...but I suddenly turn my back to it.

"_ Deprimo! _"

I've blasted a hole in the door to the boy's dormitory. The impact of my spell causes it to swing open. I nod to Beatrice and she moves like lightning. We dash up the staircase and move into the bedroom I always shared with Rowan and Diego. I bolt the door as Beatrice slides along the wall, sinking to the ground. "Those things can bloody talk?"

I don't answer her immediately. I've got too much on my mind. Nothing is making sense, and my own memories of what happened before I came back to Hogwarts are, well...fragmented. I remember Nina killing me with the spell that was meant for Gail. But I'm standing here, thinking and breathing and alive, so it can't be true. Did any of that happen? No, it must have. Beatrice remembers it. Nina remembered it too...I think. At first, it seemed like she genuinely didn’t. But when I remembered, it was like she could see it too.There's only one answer that keeps coming back into my head. The more I think about this feeling, the more familiar it is. Just like when I used to have my mental breakdowns. Never had one that lasted this long before, but if Beatrice is here...we must be in the Mental Realm.

"Reckon so." I answer her question. "From what I’ve seen, dark creatures _ can _ talk, they just aren't much for conversation." I sit down beside her. Beatrice just rolls her eyes, and leans her head against mine, which I weakly reciprocate. 

There's a moment of silence before she sits up straight. "Luca, someone's here."

She's right. How did I not notice this? Two people are sitting on my bed. Two people who are curiously familiar. "Hello..?." I call out cautiously. Getting a better look at them, I could swear...that they look just like Merula and me. Not identical, no, but...far too similar to be a coincidence. The Merula doppelganger moves out of the shadows and approaches us with an impish grin. I swear, I'd think this actually was my partner, but I've never seen a smile quite like that on Merula's face. What's more...her hair has never been snow-white. Not like this girl.

She crouches beside me and takes my hands in hers, showing no hesitations about affection. "You're still pretty lousy with navigation, but it's a start. You managed to realize where we are without freaking out!" She gives a thoughtful look. "I'd give it an...Acceptable, for the effort. So, onto the pleasantries...be honest now. How do I look?" She puts her hand behind her head. "I look good, right? I always imagined I'd make a very sexy human. Though this form is so clunky..."

From the bed, the other doppelganger, who looks just like me but with dark black hair, snaps out a grumpy comment. "You look gorgeous, I already told you a dozen times. Aren't there bigger issues right now?"

The truth hits me like a knockback jinx. Beatrice is completely bewildered, but I stare at the girl in amazement. Reaching my hand out unconsciously, to slide it through her snowy hair. 

"....Mitten?"

Sure enough, the impish girl reflexively presses her head further into my hand. Closing her eyes and muttering a quiet "Mroww..."

"Oh. My. God..." Of all things, I never expected the Mental Realm to do this. Beatrice gapes at Mitten, who attempts to bite my hand before I yank it away. Beatrice is shaking her head.

"So, that means...Bitten?"

I look over at the bed, and the figure slides off to rest himself on the floor. "S'my name, don't wear it out."

Beatrice frowns. "So why do you look just like Luca and Merula?"

"I do not look like Luca-"

"Yes you do, now hush love." Mitten pecks his cheek. "We were curious, Bea. Luca gets to see how it feels to be a cat, why shouldn't we have the opposite luxury? Especially in here." Her voice comes out like a purr as she nuzzles against Bitten.

Beatrice's eyes drop to the floor. "Don't call me Bea." She mutters half-heartedly, but my eyes never leave the cats.

Dad, you never met Mitten, but...imagine for a second if Cinder could talk. All the jokes and stories he could tell about deliveries. Imagine if he showed up looking like Jacob but with red hair. That's how this feels. But my excitement is somewhat dampened by remembering where I am.

"It's not really you, though." My face falls. "You're just a memory, a re-creation."

Mitten cocks her head. "Everyone is just memories, Luca. This is where we're all remembered."

"Difference is, we're self aware. Feline superiority." Bitten grins, tilting his head like he's about to groom himself before realizing it. Merlin, I hope a look that smug never appears on my face again. Not that he looks like me. "You lot are self aware too, cause of those Marks."

Beatrice' face whitens. "The Marks are doing this?"

I glance between her and Mitten. "W-what do you mean, self-aware?"

Mitten now flops onto the floor. "Well most people can't visit the Mental Realm, y'know? Certain creatures can whenever they want, like cats...but humans have messed with their own magic so much that the connection is all blurred."

"Having one of those Marks is like...like when Tulip has the answer sheet to an exam before the fact." Bitten speculates, causing me to smile in spite of myself. "You can navigate more more easily."

So Nina wasn’t really here. It was just some type of construct from my memories. I guess that’s better? Or maybe it’s worse. Dad, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong anymore.

"What about dark creatures?" I lay a hand on Beatrice's shoulder. "Are they...y'know, self-aware too?" Because that really makes all the difference. If the Lethifold is just another construct from my own memories, then I'm not nearly so afraid of it. But if it's really here...

Bitten gives a wry smile. "Where do you think they came from in the first place? Dementors, Boggarts....they're all born here."

Seeing the look on my face, Mitten pushes Bitten aside. "You'll be okay, Luca, hear me? You don’t have a choice. I’m making you get out of this safe and sound.” She pokes my chest. “But first, you’ve got to find your way back. We would lead you out, but the pathway is all foggy...The Marks are reacting...something happened when Nina cast that killing curse."

Beatrice sits up straight. "So that...that was real? Is Luca going to die?"

Bitten shifts uncomfortably. Avoids my eye. That tells me all I need to know, really. But Mitten adopts a ferocious expression that I've seen on Merula's face before. "Not if we can help it, they won't!" She grabs me and yanks me close, before kissing my nose. "Luca, you and Bea have to find the others, and find your way out."

"Others?" My brain has gone oddly numb by this point. My life hangs in the balance, apparently, and for some reason I don't have the ability to worry about this at all. “What others?”

"Everyone else who’s cursed by those Marks. They arrived at the same time you did." Bitten adds gruffly. “They should be out here somewhere. That’s what the dragon told us."

Dragon...?

Beatrice lifts a hand, looking quite irritated. “Hold on, hold on. How many of these damn marks are there to go around? Did you say a dragon told you this story? So they can talk too? Bloody hell, I should’ve been born a muggle.” She snaps. 

Mitten scoots closer to Beatrice, pressing her snowy head into the girl’s arm, which Beatrice looks like she’ll tolerate, but not for long. “Thought has no language, Bea. The dragon spoke to us in thoughts. He’s been waiting for you, Luca.” 

A thick, shuffling sound comes from beyond the door and shadow covers the light from it’s cracks. Beatrice jumps up and I find myself backing away. “_ Luca, you know you cannot run. We must finish our conversation. _” The Lethifold’s voice echoes. 

I turn back to Beatrice and the cats. “I don’t know how long that door will hold, especially in a place like this. Is there any other way out of here?” I catch Mitten’s eye. Whatever she suggests, even if it’s crazy, I know I’ll trust it. 

Her lip trembles. “There is one way. I just wish we could go with you.” 

Beatrice’s eyes widen. “But what will happen to you if you stay?” 

Bitten wrinkles my nose in another gross expression. “Nothing. Lethifolds only seem to want human victims.” Come to think of it, he’s probably right. The first time that it tried to kill me, Mitten attacked it with abandon, as she is wanton to do - and it completely ignored her. 

Mitten then yanks all of us - Beatrice, Bitten, and me, into a group hug. "I wish we could show you the way out, but humans are different...just get back to the physical world. You owe us petting. If you make it back, Bitten promises to be nice for a month!"

"Wha? I never said-Ouch!" Mitten has silenced his arguments with a bite, as she is wanton to do. She drags him up, and the two of them stare at us. I wish we could stay longer. I wish I could talk to Mitten more. It's something I've always wanted - in a way, she was the sibling I was craving all along. I don't care if that's stupid. Cats may not be human, but as far as I'm concerned, they're people. Small, furry people with a language barrier.

I offer Beatrice my hand. She takes it, and we get to our feet. "So what exactly are we supposed to do?" She frowns at them.

“_ Luca...there is nowhere in this world you can go that I will not follow. _” I hear the creeping voice again, yet ignore it. Beatrice chooses this moment to squeeze my hand, which is admittedly comforting. 

Mitten and Bitten glance at each other, before turning back to look at my old four-poster. That's when I notice something luminescent on the desk. I know what it is - the pensieve Flitwick gave me. Could that be the way out? I glance at Beatrice, at Mitten and Bitten. Then I give my cat another hug, which causes an appreciative "Mrow!" Then I turn to Bitten. We've never had the best relationship. But as our eyes meet, I slowly offer him my hand. After a moment's pause, he takes it and we shake. Mitten proceeds to tackle him and shower him with kisses.

Beatrice makes a face. "Can we go yet?"

I can only nod, turning back to the Pensieve and beckoning Beatrice to come closer. "I've...never used the pensieve with someone else before. Do you s'pose we just dunk our heads in at the same time?"

Beatrice shrugs, looking away from me. "How should I know? I've never used this thing at all. I just remember you crying for hours after you went in there."

I gulp. Right. We should probably know what we're getting ourselves into. I peer down over the swirling silver energy, and withdraw my wand, prodding it slightly. The material warps and churns until it forms a shifting image. Beatrice approaches to look as well.

With a sick feeling in my stomach, I suddenly understand what I'm seeing. I'm seeing the Physical Realm. Tulip and Merula are holding each other and crying. The image shifts to Penny, rocking in place with haunted eyes, clutching Beatrice's lifeless form. Rakepick is standing over the bodies of me and my twin. We might as well be ragdolls. She's talking to Dumbledore, and though I can't hear what they're saying, they both seem troubled.

Beatrice cringes slightly. "Come on, what are we waiting for?" Behind us, I can hear the door starting to click. That would be our cue. She dips her head in, so I follow suit.

Falling is something I'm used to, in dealing with the Pensieve. But this time, it's different. I don't feel as though I'm dropping out of the sky. I feel as though a current of water is carrying me and I'm helpless to control it's direction. No idea where Beatrice is, all I know is that I can hear voices.

"Calm down, Miss Karasu."

"Like hell I will. This is your fault!"

"You know that isn't true. I didn't hold the wand that did this, and no one forced Luca to shield their sister."

It's Tulip's voice. Her and Rakepick. Then another...is that Dumbledore?

"Tulip, Luca would be in a comatose state even if Nina's curse had hit the mark. It appears this phenomenon is a result of The Invigorium Curse placed on all of them."

"Then why the hell is Copper unconscious? Or Haywood? They didn't have those Marks!" There goes Merula. But does this mean that...Ben...? Is he here too?

"We don't know, Merula. We've got Healers on the way to examine them. With any luck, they'll return to us soon."

"If not..." There's Rakepick again. She’s talking more softly, probably to Dumbledore. "No telling what will happen. If they stay in the other world too long, it’s nature could rub off on them. Turn them into Sliders, like Miss Haywood. The Mental Realm is vague and infinite and if they’re not careful...they could drown in its depths. Just like the Longbottoms."

Splash.

The current has stopped. It's carried me into some kind of underwater passage. I'm almost reminded of the entrance to the Sunken Vault. Only difference is that I have no bubble-head charm active, so getting to the surface is the immediate priority. I swim upwards toward the light, and-

It's the Magical Creatures Reserve. I've surfaced in the lakeside area of the reserve. I'm half expecting to see Ismelda Jr, the Grindylow. But there's no sign of her, or any other aquatic creature, actually. In another moment, Beatrice surfaces beside me, spitting water and looking quite cross. I don’t think she particularly enjoys swimming, after the experience she had with the gillyweed.

"Did you hear what they said?" She gasps, treading water beside me. 

"Who, Rakepick and the others?"

"If we stay too long, we drown? I'm not looking forward to that.” She glides toward the edge. “Where are we anyway? Did we escape or not?"

"I'm...not sure. This is the Creature Reserve but..." But where are all the creatures? No plimpies, no grindylows...nothing. I'm getting the horrible feeling that we're still unconscious in Grimmauld Place.

Beatrice offers me her hand and helps me climb out, looking around warily. After a moment, it’s like some kind of light in her eyes goes out. “I think I’ve been here before. A place just like this.” 

I look at her sharply."You have? When?"

Beatrice doesn’t immediately answer me. She’s got that surly look she gets when she’s trying to mask discomfort. She turns away from me, so I ask once more. “When have you been here?” 

"I reckon I know." A third voice startles both of us. We look around and see a figure in a red cloak approaching us.

"Gail!" I run to her and for the first time, I’m the one to initiate the hug, which she accepts. Beatrice however, stands her ground.

"Last I remember, you're the new Director of R." Beatrice folds her arms, planting her feet. "Why should we trust you?"

Gail lets go of me and approaches Beatrice slowly. "Because you’ve been here before, Slider. So have I.” Studying Gail’s face, I never noticed how gaunt she looks. She’s not especially skinny, but there’s this hollow look in her eyes that I never noticed before. Maybe she’s letting her own mask slip now. 

Beatrice stares back at Gail, unwavering. “Don’t call me that. I have a name. It’s Beatrice. Not Bea, not any stupid nickname or title. Just Beatrice, okay? I never wanted any of this...being imprisoned for a year, tortured by your stupid cult. I never wanted to be a Slider. Just leave us alone!”

Gail catches my eye, and then looks back at Beatrice. She could be faking it, but she seems affected by these words. Merlin’s beard...is Gail about to cry? Oh my god, she is. "I'm sorry. Please, can we start over? My name’s Gail.” She holds out her hand, which Beatrice ignores, so Gail puts it down. “The...the people who tortured you were following my mother's orders, not mine. You missed most of the Challenge, but we just ousted her from power and this is a great example of why. The way you were treated was unacceptable, and it will never be condoned on my watch.” 

Beatrice scowls and moves away from Gail, closer to me. She grabs my arm. “Come on Luca, we have to get back to the others.” 

Gail’s not done though. She raises her voice. “This is where it happened, right? In The Reserve? They made you take the Vow here.” Beatrice freezes in place. Stares at the floor. Gail presses on. “They forced me to take it as well, and I wasn’t much older than you.” 

I look between Beatrice and my twin. “So you understand, then? You know the Cabal is really evil, right?” I’m just praying that Gail’s stance about Remembrance was part of the act, but in another moment, she disappoints me, her face hardening. 

“The Cabal is not evil! We’re not a cult! Is that what you really think? Because I’m part of it, you know. So is Beatrice. You think we’re evil? You think Nigel and Aurelia are evil?” 

Oh hell no. Beatrice is NOT part of Remembrance. I open my mouth, but Gail steamrolls on.

“We're the only people left in this damn world trying to do good. The Ministry is useless! Whenever a dark force rises, they’re powerless to stop it. They’re all Dumbledore’s puppets, everyone looks to him. Do you want to depend on him when the next You-Know-Who shows up?” 

Okay, she’s got me there. Still. It's not like the Cabal is any better. 

“Our mother was an insult to the Cause, but her days are done. With people like me and Beatrice, we’ll finally make a world worth remembering.” Beatrice’ hand on my arm tightens, and Gail bites her lip. “I’m sorry you had to join us in the circumstances that you did, but at least you’re one of us now." As if foreseeing my protests, Gail shoots a look at me. "I can't free her from the Vow, Luca. Even if I wanted to. But I _ can _use my influence to give her protection and freedom." She looks back at Beatrice. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Beatrice's eyebrow twitches. She steps away from me. Closer to my sister. "What...what would I have to do?"

Gail shrugs. "Pretty much nothing. The curse inside you is invaluable, but I've got one too." She lifts up her palm, showing off the black star. “You being a Slider makes you even more of a prize, but that kind of magic is unstable as well. In my executive opinion, it’s too dangerous to try and use. So dangerous that safeguarding you is imperative. I’ll say the same thing to the Inner Circle. You have my word, Beatrice. We’ll watch out for you.” 

"We can figure out all of this later." I interject, trying to end this conversation before it gets out of hand, because it’s pointless anyway. Dad, there's no way Beatrice is joining the Cabal. Forget how I feel about it, forget the fact that Penny and her parents would hit the roof - it's a moot point because she's only fourteen and now that the Ministry's gotten involved, none of the adults in question are going to let it happen. The Cabal is already under Auror scrutiny. "For now, we need to focus on escaping. Gail, Ben is here too."

Gail's eyes suddenly drop to the ground. "I know. He won't talk to me, but I saw him. When I woke up initially, it was like we were back in the orphanage. I almost forgot everything that happened."

"Yeah, we had a similar experience." I look over at Beatrice, who's staring at the nearby trees, looking contemplative. I hope to Merlin that she's not actually considering Gail's offer. But then she grabs my arm again.

"Voices." She mutters tersely. "There are people over there."

Together, the three of us make our way further into the woodland. Creeping quietly and following the sound of voices. As we get closer, I realize how familiar they both sound.

"Mind your fingers, Fawley. They're always hungry, and your flesh is quite edible."

"Please. As if Welshie would ever hurt me. You're just jealous." The second voice laughs.

Something is burgeoning within me. I start to pick up the pace, no longer caring about being discovered. Beatrice hisses for me to slow down, but nothing is going to stop me. That second voice...

Poking my head out into a clearing, I'm joined by Gail and Beatrice not long after, and we gaze upon two people sitting around a small, scaly creature. A woman with red hair, and a boy no older than Beatrice.

"That's Rakepick." Gail's voice whispers beside me. "But who's that with her?" She stares at the boy, and I likewise can’t take my eyes off him. Silent tears are running down my face.

"If the Director finds out you have this creature, if anyone finds out, the consequences will be dire. We need to keep things discreet."

"You always say that, but I'm sticking to my way of doing things until you give me some answers. Like this "Director." Who are they? You never say." The boy shoots back.

Rakepick hesitates. "I'm sorry, Fawley. But information like that is classified. Telling you could violate my Vow and, alas, kill me."

Damn you, Rakepick. So you even lied to him. Is there a single person she's met that she hasn't deceived?

To my right, I feel Gail clutching my shoulder all of a sudden. Clutching it very tightly. I throw her a glance, and notice her lip is trembling. She's staring at him. Staring at our brother. So she knows. Good, I didn't feel up to saying it.

Jacob turns back to Welshie, still just a hatchling by the looks of him, and scratches his chin. Welshie lets out a yelping cry, as his human sighs. "But the Director wants me? They really want me and Duncan to join?"

Rakepick shrugs. "Not so much Duncan. It's more that he staunchly insisted that the two of you were a packaged deal, and The Director found that audacity impressive - so they've agreed to allow him a trial period. But you...the plans they have for you, and that Mark on your hand..." Rakepick laughs quietly to herself.

Jacob looks sharply at her. "The Mark of Despair? What's that got to do with it?"

Rakepick looks as though she's going to say something else, but her attention is diverted. She looks over in our direction and I feel a swooping sensation in my stomach. Can we interact with them...? I almost fall over as it occurs to me that Jacob is Marked too...so he'd be self-aware! Before I can announce myself though, Rakepick draws her wand. In another moment, Jacob is on his feet and aiming his own wand. This was before it was broken. Unfortunately, they're both pointing their wands at us. Tiny little Welshie flutters his wings, letting out a roar that sounds more like a squeak.

Beatrice shivers next to me. Gail starts to move forward, possibly to explain, but I catch her wrist. Something about this doesn't feel right. In another moment, Rakepick shouts "Run, Jacob!" And a silver raccoon erupts from her wand. It charges...and runs right past us. I glance around.

Then I see it. The Lethifold, wrapped around a branch among the taller trees, oozing it’s way down. 

"Come on!" I gasp to my companions, as we start to make a dash. Yet in that last second, I catch something that alarms me. Jacob seems to collapse out of nowhere. Rakepick and Welshie rush to him, but we're already rushing ourselves in the opposite direction. I don’t want to leave him - abandoning him makes me feel like my heart is getting torn in half. But I have to keep in mind that he’s probably just a memory...Ben, Gail, and Beatrice have to be my priority. Especially with the Lethifold on the loose.

Oh god. There are more of them. The army of shrouds has caught up with us. Beatrice has her teeth clenched, and Gail...I have never seen Gail look so scared. It dawns on me that she might not know the Patronus Charm. Not everyone can produce one. Beatrice doesn't know it either...is mine going to be enough?

"Split up!" Gail calls out, as the Lethifolds surround us.

"No!" I hiss, lifting my wand, not about to leave Beatrice, but it's too late. They both run off in different directions, and before I can track either of them I've been surrounded. My panic is causing my Patronus to fail, and the voice in my head isn't helping.

"_ You must stop fleeing, Luca Fawley. We have unfinished business. I have a meal that must be consumed. A promise to fulfill. _"

"Expect...Expecto..." Despite being so soft and echo-y, the voice completely consumes my brain.

"_ Do not resist. Seven of your years have passed, and each day that goes by, the curse grows stronger. One day, it shall kill you. Just as it killed Olivia. _"

Olivia? Olivia Greene? What is it talking about? I'm backing up until I hit the trunk of a tree, and the living shroud inches closer and closer to me. "_ You do not even know of what I speak, do you? No, Humans do not sense such things. Do you know what Invigorium truly is _?"

_ “Expecto Patro _ -no! _ No! _” The Lethifold suddenly swoops over my arm, and I feel the cloth wrap tightly around my wrist. There’s only one thing to do - only one way to get free, and I really don’t like it. But I can already feel my wand splintering.

I let go, and yank my hand free, as I hear the snapping sound. My beloved wand, silver lime and unicorn hair, just broke in two. The pieces fall to the grass. Not again...now I’m completely defenseless.I can’t believe this happened a second time. Maybe because I’m in the Mental Realm, it won’t matter? Who knows. All I know is, I’m the lousiest wizard there ever was. 

"What are you waiting for?" I find myself asking in a weak tone, falling to my knees. "I can't stop you. I never could. I'm useless with magic. I'm useless in general." I know it sounds harsh Dad, but at this moment I truly believe it. "World's probably better off without me anyway. One less Cursed Fawley to screw everything up. So if you're going to kill me, then get on with it. Go ahead. Finish what’s already over.” 

The advancing darkness suddenly pauses, having pooled around my feet and my legs. The voice speaks again, pounding in my head. "_ I have not come to slay you, Luca Fawley. That was never our fate. Your humans are woefully ignorant about creatures of the dark. _"

Not here to kill me? As if - it’s a deception, that much I know. But to what end? The Lethifold's got me dead to rights. If it's been waiting this long for a meal, why play with it's food? It's a carnivorous dark creature who eats people. A predator. A predator who...leaves no trace. No body, or proof of it's victims. Suddenly, I wonder if I haven't misunderstood the Lethifold too. On top of everything else. Bitten said that they come from here, originating from the Mental Realm. I shut my eyes tightly. "Then why did you try to kill me before? Or was that part of our "business" too? If you're not after my life, then why did you seek me out like that?"

"_ Because Jacob asked me to. _"

...What.

No...that can't be. Jacob was the one to send the Lethifold? I don't believe it. Not one word. It has to be a lie.

_ “Expelliarmus!” _

A blast of energy strikes both of us, causing the Lethifold to recede in surprise. What surprises me isn’t that I was rescued, it’s the voice of the caster. It’s...Ben. He rushes over to my side and offers his hand, helping me to my feet as the Lethifold moves to enfold a nearby bush. 

“Luca, we need to run. I don’t really get this place, but it seems like water lets us travel. Or...maybe it’s just reflections. I dunno, but it doesn’t matter. Come on!” He bellows. 

“_ Humans...so foolish, so violent...and you demonize our kind, label us monsters, to claim your own innocence? _ ” There’s a harshness to the whisper now, and Dad, I can’t begin to describe how menacing that combination is. It just sounds so completely wrong. “ _ Benjamin Copper. You are the greatest tragedy of all. Even the Slider has not suffered the degree of damage done to you. My pledge was to cleanse Luca, but if you will stand in my way, then I shall have two meals instead of one. _” 

“Like hell you will.” Ben snarls. “Nobody pushes me around, not anymore. And no one threatens the people I love!” He shuts his eyes, levelling his wand. Ben’s never been able to produce a Patronus before and I can tell that he’s straining, but-

A small, silver mass shoots out of his wand, taking the shape of a field mouse, before it dashes at the Lethifold. Ben grabs my hand again, and we take off running. 

“How did you find me, Ben?” I pant. Talking while running is never ideal, but anything goes in this world, so I don’t know how long I’ll be able to talk to him. 

“Used the Pensieve. After Gail left, I found it in our bedroom. Saw The Cabal. Merula was sitting with two of them, and they were negotiating something with that Auror.” 

Moody? Oh god. If he’s discovered Nigel and Aurelia...then we have to get back to the physical realm before he chucks them in Azkaban. Death Eaters or not, they’re Merula’s family. She just got them back. She’s not losing them again, no way in hell. “Ben, what happened? What’s the last thing you remember? I mean, before the orphanage?” 

We stop at the lakeside, to catch our breath. We seem to have lost the Lethifold, at least. Ben grabs his knees, coughing a few times. “You and Merula came back for Beatrice, and it just seemed...off, y’know? Both of you seemed off, and Tulip could tell right away. She and Rowan worked out that they were imposters, so they grabbed Beatrice and scarpered, but that’s when Dumbledore appeared and caught them.” Seeing the dubious look on my face, Ben shrugs, kneeling to drink from the lakeside. “He did save Beatrice, Luca. So we let him say his piece...he told us about your Mum’s creepy spyglass, and why he lied...managed to talk us into his plan, but not without Penny, Charlie and I insisting on coming to keep an eye on him.” Ben grins, before his face falls. “We got to big house...I remember there was a lot of shouting from upstairs, a green light….then nothing. I zonked out.” 

I lay a hand on his shoulder, still worried about him, even after how far he’s come. The Lethifold was right about one thing, Dad. Ben is, in some ways, the person that Remembrance has hurt the most. He could have had a peaceful life as the muggle he was meant to be. The Cabal stole that life away from him, forced him to be something he wasn’t ready for. The curse inside him...is still there. It’s inside me as well. We have to get rid of it, somehow. For all we know, Ben isn’t even the only person that Remembrance has done this to. There could be dozens or hundreds of young muggles being force-fed Invigorium. This has to stop. 

Ben looks up, noticing I’m empty-handed. “Luca, where’s your wand?” 

I look down at the water, trying to hide my shame. “Gone. The Lethifold destroyed it.” 

“Then here, take mine.” Ben holds it out. “You can’t be without a wand in here.” When I shake my head, he grows more insistent. “Come on, take it. I’m not even supposed to have magic in the first place, at least you’re a born wizard.” 

“No, Ben, you need to defend yourself too, and-” I break off. The water, the lakewater, is shifting below us. Ben turns to watch as well. At first I thought it was just the setting sun, but no...there’s something else going on. Another glimpse into the physical world, I think. Yeah, definitely. There’s Tulip, with Merula and Rakepick. Bloody hell. I wish I could hear what they were saying. Merula...doesn’t seem angry with Rakepick. Honestly, it looks like she’s too tired to use anger like she might in most situations. I unconsciously reach out to the water, reach for my partners…

“Luca, wait!” I hear Ben call, but it’s too late. The moment my hand touches the water, I pay the price for my carelessness. Like a portkey, the preview of reality yanks me in. Once again, I’m falling. Great, so I managed to find Beatrice, Gail, and Ben...and I lost them all. Dad, I’m really terrible at this whole “functioning human being” thing. Something I think even I’d be better off as a muggle, but who am I kidding - I’d suck at that too. 

I take a break from beating myself up to listen to the voices. But they’re harder to discern this time, as though they’re on the other side of the waterfall that’s carrying me. 

“Why did their wand break, huh? It just exploded out of nowhere!” 

“I do not know. I’ve never set foot in the Mental Realm. My knowledge is purely theoretical.”

“Why should we believe that? You knew everything about Luca’s mum, about the Cabal. You knew my parents were free, and you never told me. You let them believe I was dead. You just used us - all of us.” 

“I did. I’m not going to apologize, if that’s what you’re hoping for. Nina’s orders were absolute, and I wasn’t going to risk disobeying them until it was time to strike. I regret having to use the Cruciatus Curse on you, but would you have preferred the killing curse? Those were my options.” 

“Shut up!” Oh boy. That’s Tulip. She doesn’t always get angry, not nearly as often as Merula. But when she explodes...it’s a sight to behold. “Merula’s mum says you never took the Vow after all. You were never forced to work for these people. You’ve been in control of your actions from the start. Every single terrible choice you made was your own.” I can hear her voice breaking. God, I just want to hold her.

“The same could be said of Luca. And their ill-fated brother.” Rakepick’s tone drives a knife in my gut. Her amusement is twisting my insides. “What exactly is your problem with me, Miss Karasu? You never had much regard for rules either.” 

“My problem is that you treat human beings like tools, and stab them in the back without a second thought, even if they cared about you. Then you turn around and act like it’s okay because other people are evil too.” 

There’s a pause. I’m still falling, but I can hardly feel it anymore. 

“I think I understand now. That’s why you loathe me so entirely. You’re afraid of becoming me. Because however much Merula may have admired me, the truth is that you and I are far more alike, aren’t we Tulip?” 

Crash. At some point, the water around me must have vanished, because I’m bone-dry, and when I make my landing...well, let’s just say that it hurts. A lot. Where am I…? Sitting up, rubbing my temples, I glance around. Pure darkness. No, not quite. I know where I am. There’s a dim glow coming from the window to my right. A dark mass behind me, that turns out to be a bed. My bed. The rectangular shape to my left - my desk. I reach out, palming the wood until my fingers press into the cool metal of my Wizarding Wireless Radio. 

I’m more scared than ever now that I might run into Nina again, but I don’t. I sit down on my bed, exhausted, and the Lethifold moves as swiftly as a snake. Having replaced my blanket, the creature immediately smothers me. I never knew they could move this fast, but I suppose this is the Mental Realm. This is it’s home. 

Though I thrash and struggle, that overpowering whisper is thundering through my head again. 

“_ Luca, you must stop rejecting the aid that you require. Allow me to feed. _”

I’m not able to speak physically, but it seems as though the Lethifold has some degree of Legilimency because it starts responding to my thoughts, almost like the Sorting Hat did. “_ You will never be free of Invigorium’s Curse if you do not allow me to feed. Must I break limbs to discourage resistance? Jacob would not approve. _ “ The Lethifold continues, now swallowing my entire body, leaving no inch exposed. Yet I feel no pain. Either dying is painless, or it's taking its sweet time. " _ It is instinct for us, to hunt humans and drain their magic. This is how my kin feed, you see. But your kin, Jacob, had an unusual talent for befriending creatures that no one else would. You wish to know why he sent me. I will oblige and divulge this information.” _

Frankly, if it wasn’t for my partners waiting for me on the other side, if it wasn’t for the need to make sure that Gail doesn’t lead Beatrice astray, that Nigel and Aurelia don’t get arrested, that Rowan isn’t all alone, that Mitten is taken care of...really, if it wasn’t for all the people that need me right now, I could absolutely give in and submit to death. But they do need me. So maybe I’m not worthless after all. I stop struggling, but only for a moment. I’ll oblige as well, and hear this thing out.

_ “We met on the day that he hatched his familiar, and formed a secret alliance. After one of his kin expired, we were...symbiotically connected. Jacob would siphon his magic and allow me to feed. Doing so would strengthen his connection to this Realm, even if his most conventional powers suffered. He told no one, not even his teacher. _"

"So...that was why he wasn't able to use magic for a while, after Dad died?" The Lethifold’s layers surround me now, creating pitch-black darkness, inky and thick. I can't breathe, but it's almost like I don't need to. "How did that lead you to me?”

"_ Jacob knew your kin had plans for you after her plans to corrupt him failed. She had slain his familiar, and even slain his mate. _" 

His...mate? Could that have been Duncan? So they were a thing, then. Y'know what, I can see it. Puts a lot of Duncan's words into a new perspective. 

"_ Then Jacob was slain as well, and his spirit was condemned to wander this realm. He feared for your safety, berated himself for failing to protect you. Unable to contact you himself, I was sent to establish contact before the Red Cloaked humans gained control of you. _"

This must have happened after Jacob died. But how? I have so many questions I'm burning to ask, but I wish such information could come from a source that wasn't so...terrifying. "So, wait. He's here? The real Jacob? He's in the Mental Realm?" There's that hope again. I need to get past that. Hope only wounds us, when all is said and done.

"_ Yes and no. All who are cursed with Invigorium become trapped here when their bodies expire. So long as the curse persists, Jacob will be unable to rest. Another human, Olivia Greene, sought to break this curse. Just like your companion, Olivia spent too long in our world. She became a Slider. Her efforts failed, and our world claimed her soul as well. Invigorium is not meant to be tampered with as the Red Cloaks have done. _"

Even in the dark, even being strangled by the shroud, I'm able to lift my hand and gaze upon the black star. I can remember seeing notes from R about Olivia. She was Duncan's friend, I think. Must have been another apprentice to the Cabal. But she tried to Fawley curse, so she must have been close to my brother. She may have lost the battle, but she didn't die in vain. Because I'm going to break it, Dad. For all of us.

"Tell me about Invigorium. Please." I appeal to the Lethifold. If it can help me, I'll honestly take that. I've had stranger allies before.

"_ Invigorium is magic itself. The power that derives from the Mental Realm. In essence, Invigorium is this world. _"

Magic. The greatest miracle and the greatest mystery of being a Wizard. No one knows where it comes from. But maybe now I do. "So when we use our powers to change things around us...we're tapping into the energy of this world?"

"_ Every living kin in your world is linked to ours, through the conduits you refer to as your minds. But humans remain the only kin to have deliberately experimented with such a connection, and changed themselves. The descendants of such humans are called witches and wizards. Eventually, the order of the Red Cloaks appeared, to push such limits even further. The muggles, as you refer to them, have a more distant relationship to this world...but their connection is not nearly so unstable. Imagine a small tear in a blanket, as opposed to a gaping hole. _” 

"_ In creating the Curse that plagues your body, The Red Cloaks devised a way to force more energy through the doorway between our worlds, putting it under greater strain. Doing so granted them powers that were yet unheard of. _" Yeah. It granted them the power to take a muggle child and turn him into a Wizard. Poor Ben. A shiver goes down my spine.

"Jacob knew, didn't he? You told him about all this too?"

"_ It is the reason he saw fit to betray the Red Cloaks and support his teacher over his kin. When his mate expired, when Olivia met her fate, Jacob came to me for answers. But even his teacher, the one you call Rakepick, only had a vague idea of the true danger. If humans continue to abuse the Mental Realm, both worlds will be destroyed.” _

It almost feels like a History of Magic lesson, but we were never taught this kind of stuff. I wonder how much most people know about the Mental Realm. If even Rakepick didn’t know everything, then my guess is not much. I bet Gail doesn’t know. If she did, she wouldn’t support the Cabal, would she? On the other hand, if she betrays them...it will kill her. 

“Hey, listen. If you know everything about magic, then you must know about Unbreakable Vows. Please - this is important. If there’s a way to reverse them, I need to know.” 

The darkness shifts again. “_ I know very little about the energy that binds human oaths. But my understanding is that such an enchantment attaches to the soul, and triggers a premature expiration if the designated terms are violated. _ ” 

“But there must be a way to reverse it?” Even my own head, my thoughts sound desperate. Gail might refuse to renounce her Vow, even if it was an option. But it _ has _ to be an option, for Beatrice’ sake. 

“_There is no way, that I know of, to detach such an enchantment without slaying the oathtaker. Jacob refused your kin’s wish to make such a Vow for precisely this reason._” 

Is it just the shroud that’s making it hard to breathe? Or is my chest caving in? Either way, my heart is breaking. 

_ “My kin were not designed to resolve such microcosms. We exist as antibodies. We feed on the energy created from the bridge between our worlds. The curse your ancestors created is by far the greatest threat. I must feed, Luca. I must feed on this curse. It is what Jacob wanted. It is my purpose _."

"What will happen if you do?" I'm not certain I should trust a dark creature so easily...but if it's telling the truth, and Jacob is in here somewhere...

"_ You will be freed from the Curse, and removed from this place forever.” _

Okay, no. That’s not happening. Whatever stress the Mental Realm might have put me under, I’m not saying a final goodbye until I rescue the others. Including Jacob.

The Lethifold can sense my thoughts. “_ The only way to free your kin is to destroy the curse entirely. For this, you must use the Treasure from the Cursed Vault. Jacob's final gambit risked everything to obtain that Treasure. He risked everything to honor those he had lost. To protect you. It is a priceless artifact created by the human who founded the order of the Red Cloaks. His name is Nicholas Flamel. _"

I feel as though I've heard of him before. Might have been History of Magic. "Is...not was? He's still alive? Or is he here?"

"_ No. He is within the physical realm. The treasure has manipulated Invigorium, magic itself, to give him and his mate unlimited longevity. _"

"Where is it? Where's the Treasure?"

The voice of the Lethifold shifts. Detecting emotion in this creature is definitely not easy, but I could almost swear that it sounds nervous. "_ Jacob told me that he had already given it to you. But this was before he expired, before your kin splintered your mind. Do you not remember this? _"

Dad, do you suppose Jacob gave me the treasure before he died? That I can't remember it because of Nina's curse? No, couldn't be. I already remembered everything before. So what have I missed? Jacob must have planted something on me. But why haven't I found it? Wouldn't Jacob know better than to leave the treasure with me if Nina was around? Or did losing Duncan stop him from being able to think clearly? But Remembrance doesn't have the treasure. So I must have it, somehow...Jacob, what have you done? There must be some sort of trick, something in code, or…

"_ Hold still now, Luca. The Curse within you has only been further aggravated by the assault from your kin - your mother. Twice now, she has turned her wand on you, and in doing so, strained the Invigorium inside you. Something unprecedented occurred when you shielded your other half from the slaying curse. The Invigorium inside you has absorbed the dark magic that would have caused you to expire.” _

The Invigorium inside me…”You mean, my Mark? Are you telling me that it absorbed the killing curse and...the-the killing curse is still inside me?” 

_ Partially. It is also within your companions. The former-muggle boy, the Slider, and your other half. Your soul has been dislocated ever since your kin attacked your mind, causing the slaying curse to rebound. Those other souls cursed with Invigorium...the dark magic was drawn to them, and they absorbed it too. When you were hit with that curse, it ruptured this world worse than anything my kin have ever known. If the damage is not contained, both worlds may face the end. Knowing this, will you now allow me to feed?” _

“No, wait!” I find myself shouting wordlessly. “The treasure, I have to find it. It may be my only hope of getting this curse out of my friends. None of them are going to die on my watch. It’s high time we were free of Invigorium, and this world was free of us. If you truly are my ally, then respect my boundaries - and get the fuck off me! Right now!” Yeah, there I go swearing again. But the answer...I feel as though the answer must be in this room. It has to be something I obtained after Jacob died, but before I went to Hogwarts. Come on, think…

The Lethifold pauses...and slowly recedes. Wow, okay...I’m still not exactly comfortable with this creature, it’s still difficult to see it as anything other than a living abomination...but I can only assume that it's telling the truth. Because it actually moved. It honored my wishes. It now wraps itself around the headboard of my bed, as I get to my feet, looking around. 

“_ You must move quickly, if this is your plan. I fear the damage is growing at an exponential rate… _” 

I nod to the Lethifold, though I’m not sure if it understands the gesture. Either way...Jacob must have left the treasure behind in my room. Or...in the house, somewhere. He must have known that Nina might find it before I did. Jacob’s clever enough to have some sort of contingency plan for that possibility. Which means it could be transfigured to look like anything. 

Slowly turning around in place,I reach down onto my desk, lighting a candle to cast a dull glow over my room. I look at my desk. There’s my copy of Spellman’s Syllabary. Beatrice Jr, looking as sweet as ever. My remembrall, that I started carrying after the “assault” that I couldn’t remember. Though, I never really bothered to use it. The Wizarding Wireless Radio, that Nina once made Jacob repair by hand. An old hat that Mrs. Weasley made for me ages ago. The Merlin card, still just as chewed up as ever. I miss Mitten.

I set the candle down. It casts firelight on the light green of the hat, and the deep red of the smoke within my Remembrall. Yet, mingled among the dark red is the faintest hint of violet. Wait a moment. Mum gave that to me to help me with my memory loss...or...did she? No, I found it in my room, didn't I? It's...it's strange, Dad. But now that I think about it, I can't quite remember where it came from. No, I did find it in my room. Nina figured it must have been Jacob's. I slowly pick it up, staring at the glass sphere. Is it...possible? That Jacob left this behind? That Nina and I didn't realize what it was? If only I had a way to verify that! But my wand is…

I throw an irritated glance behind me. “Any chance you could whip up a new wand for me? Seems like the least you could do.” 

The Lethifold slowly writhes in place. “_ Wands are far more than mere vices for power, as your kin have treated them. They are...rather like the subconscious of the human mind. Quasi-sentient, acting as conduits to this world. If a wand is willing to lend you aid, you will know. _” 

That’s...really not helpful. I look around. Move over to my closet and peer inside with the light of the candle. Nothing. I go back to the desk. Stare at the Remembrall. It hasn’t changed, and yet...I’m still getting a bad feeling about it. I don’t even remember Mum giving it to me, just finding it in my pocket one day. The knick-knack that I never gave a second glance before.

That’s when something amazing happens. I turn in place, and feel a weight by my hip. Glancing down, I realize something. I’m wearing my wand holster. The one I bought seven years ago, on a whim, to try and be as cool as Rakepick. I never actually used it, outside of a few Cursed Vault adventures. I sure wasn’t wearing it earlier, in the Hufflepuff Basement or the Creatures Reserve. Going by the weight...there’s a wand in it. 

I set the holster down on the desk, illuminated by the candle. Slowly withdrawing the wand to cast it in light. Bumpy, gritty, and uneven...though it’s been sanded down and polished a fair bit in the last few years to make it smoother. I would know this wand anywhere. 

“H-Hello?” I feel like I have a frog in my throat. Might cry, Dad. This wand belongs to my very best mate in the world. Cedar and Phoenix Feather. They fashioned it themself, and used it faithfully during Hogwarts even though it never chose them. “Are you...going to help me?” At first, it feels silly. I’m talking to a wand. 

But, in so many “words” the Cedar wand responds. I feel an incredible warmth surging through my arm and then through my whole body. A light puff of smoke appears from the tip. I feel tears slide down my face as I whisper one word, to confirm what I think it’s trying to tell me. 

“_ Lumos. _” 

Just like that, the candle becomes obsolete. A ball of pure, beautiful light encompasses the tip of the cedar wand, and behind me, the Lethifold seems to shrink away and hide under the bed. Yet I pay it no mind. Reaching out to lightly touch the bumpy handle, I whisper to it. “You’re...choosing me?” It never chose Rowan, of course. I don’t know what to say or feel, except that I know I don’t deserve this. I’ll never deserve it. But I won’t reject help from my friends. Or their wands. 

“Thank you…” I don’t even say it verbally. I barely mouth the words, before I set to work.

I aim the cedar wand at the remembrall. The knick knack that I never gave a second glance...now I do, closing one eye and letting the blue eye do it’s thing. Squinting slightly...I can see it. That faint purple outline, the same thing I can see around the Mark of Despair. The sign of a dark curse. 

“_ Reparifage! _” 

The Remembrall spins in place, creating a red blur, and when it stops spinning - there’s an ominous looking rock, blood red and jagged, practically glowing. Oh yeah, the violet glow is strong here. I reach out and pick it up. Jacob...is this what you were holding when you emerged from the lake? Is this what you hid before you came to find me, and Nina murdered you? 

“_ The Founder of the Red Cloaks named his creation ‘The Philosopher’s Stone. _ ” I hear the low wheeze of the Lethifold. Despite everything, I feel a degree of pity for the thing, and decide to cast Nox to ease its pain. Sure enough, it seems to let go of whatever tension it was holding, and I hear “ _ Thank you… _” 

Still, I’m getting a very bad feeling about this “Philosopher’s Stone.” I glance back at the Lethifold. But all of a sudden, it’s gone. I pick up the candle and stride over to the bed, wondering if I simply couldn’t see it in the shadows. No, it’s entirely gone. It’s disappeared. I’m all alone and strangely, I’m afraid. I miss the company of the dark, carnivorous monster that gave me PTSD when I was younger. How weird is that, Dad? But I have the Philosopher’s Stone and I have no idea what to do with it. How to destroy it or free my friends from the Invigorium Curse. What am I supposed to do? 

I open the bedroom door and make my way into the living room, looking for answers. There she is again, sitting up on the arm of the couch. Merula, except it’s not Merula, glances in my direction. I feel immense relief in the first moment to see Mitten again, and I rush to her...only to slow down and stop because of the expression on her face. Something is wrong, and she’s not telling me. 

“Mitten?” I chance a few steps closer. She glances down at the couch before turning to face me more. Lifts a hand to press it against my chest, halting any further progress. 

“Luca, I don’t know how you’re going to handle this, but...well, you deserve to know.” Her voice breaks slightly. 

“Mitten, what’s the matter?” I gently cup her face. She’s clearly worried about me but I couldn’t care less about myself. Taking my hand from her cheek, she slowly guides me to stand over the couch and see whatever affected her. 

It’s Nina. Your wife. My mother. 

And she’s dead. 

I know it, because her body is twisted up in the same unnatural angles that she left Jacob in. Her eyes glassy, staring ahead at whatever nothingness that he saw. Mitten squeezes my hand tight, and I try to squeeze back to soothe her. Not immediately understanding, I shake my head. “Mitten...this is the Mental Realm, yeah? This...this could mean anything. It doesn’t mean she’s really…” 

But she is, and I know it even as I say so. Mitten shakes her head slowly, her eyes now starting to glisten. “I can see both worlds. This is true in the physical realm too. Oh Luca…” And she hugs me gently. In the deepest corners of my heart, I think I already knew this was going to happen. Trying to murder the new Director, with no justifiable excuse, only selfishness...if that didn’t violate the Unbreakable Vow, I don’t know what would.

Mitten nuzzles against my cheek and nips it, as she is known to do. “Are you okay? I mean, I know what she was, but she was your Mum. I mean, she named me...she took care of us...for a while, anyway.” 

I give Nina another glance. The thing is, I am okay. I feel nothing about learning this new information apart from a generic “Oh, that happened.” Which in some ways scares me more than anything else. My mother is dead and I don’t care, Dad. I don’t. Truly, my greatest concern is for how Gail will take it. What kind of monster does that make me? I almost don’t even want to say such things to Mitten. 

But I just shake my head. I’m also relatively sure that she’s adapting based on how she expects me to react. Mitten’s philosophy in the past has always been that if someone hurts me then she will despise them forever. Well, except Bitten. And Merula. She has her limits, I guess. 

“It’s okay. Hey, c’mere, we’re gonna be okay.” I hug my cat and lightly scratch her head, knowing certain tricks to cheer her up. “Right now, we need to focus on breaking the Fawley Curse and getting out of here before the doorway collapses, since apparently that can totally happen.” I produce the Philosopher’s Stone from my pocket. “Which means destroying this.” 

Mitten stares wide-eyed at the Stone. “Whoa...Luca, that thing is teeming with dark magic.” She quietly begins to groom her own hand as though it were a paw, and seeing Merula’s doppleganger do so is the most unintentionally hilarious thing to happen all day, but I’m more focused on something she said. 

“Wait, the dark outline? You...can see that?” 

Mitten looks up in surprise. “Er, yeah? Course I can. It’s the same outline around all those Marks. I’m slightly surprised YOU can see it, but with that eye, I s’pose anything’s possible.” She shrugs and returns to grooming. 

I roll my eyes. “Mitten, we have to destroy it. I need to find the others. Do you know where they are?” 

She nods. “Right outside. Bitten has been entertaining them. Don’t worry, they’ve already seen…” she gives a sideways glance at Nina. I bite my lip. 

“How...did Gail handle it?” 

Mitten glances down. “Not...not well. She and Ben were arguing about a lot of different things, and Beatrice was looking like she was about to swat both of them, but Gail got very quiet once they came inside to see. They’re out by the beach now.” 

I nod to Mitten, squeezing her hand once more. “Okay, then let’s go.” Together, she and I make our way through the back door, past the Apothecary storage cabinets, and out onto the black sand. That’s when things only get stranger, Dad. Because as we’re walking past the threshold, something makes me almost drop the Stone. 

A loud, echoing roar starts reverberating the area. Practically has shockwaves. I swear it sounds like those muggle death explosions that Badeea talked about - Balms, or whatever she called them. There’s a roar coming from the distance, and when Mitten and I stumble out onto the black sand of Dulcimer Beach - the sky is on fire. 

Okay, not literally on fire. But everything has gone haywire. The sand is black...wait no, that’s normal, it’s always been like that. The sky, though. It’s like every star is exploding into fireworks, but some of them are dark fireworks and they’re all eating each other. No sign of a moon, unless that gaping vortex in the dead center of the sky is whatever was left of the moon. Something happened...I think. Something is going on. Is the damage spreading? Maybe the Lethifold was right. Maybe I am dawdling, and wasting time. And yet…

“Luca!” 

Ah, a voice that will always make me turn around in panic when it shouts my name. But Beatrice is running toward me, followed closely by Ben and...me? No wait, that’s just Bitten. Of course, Mitten immediately runs to him and nuzzles close. Beatrice and Ben catch up to me and hug me in turn, as Beatrice seems relieved for the first time in...I don’t know how long. 

“Thank Merlin, that’s everyone. Now can we go home?” 

Ben looks around. “I don’t know if it’ll be that easy. I mean, is it ever?” 

Beatrice scowls. “I just want to get out of here before whatever made that sound comes to kill us all. That too much to ask?” 

I move past both of them, my eyes following Ben’s gaze. There she is, sitting by the shoreline. I give Ben a sideline glance, and ask the question nonverbally. He just shrugs. “We aren’t fighting anymore, but...she won’t talk to me. Or anyone.” 

Bitten is stroking Mitten’s hair. “Except you. She wants to talk to you, apparently..” He jerks his head at me. “So get over there. The sooner you lot get home, the sooner my worlds stop colliding.” 

Beatrice looks between me and Bitten. “Okay, go talk to her. Then can we go home?” 

I meet her eye. “That’s the plan, we just need to figure out-” My sentence drops off as another loud roar echoes around us. It sounds closer than it did before. I take a deep breath. We really are on a time crunch. But Gail’s grief isn’t something that can be rushed. “Just...give me a second.” I nod to my friends and wander over to where my sister is sitting.

She doesn’t look up, so I occupy myself in the spot beside her. I don’t know what to say, because there’s nothing to say. We both know what Nina was. We both know that this is, in every sense of the word, not a great loss. Especially since she would have gone to Azkaban anyway. The only reason we’re all in this wild world is because Nina tried to murder her own daughter. Dad, she tried to kill Gail - and I don’t think that’s lost on her. What am I supposed to say right now? I have no idea. I’ll just get it wrong. So I say nothing. 

“Everything is the way it’s supposed to be now.” Gail has spoken, her voice falsely chipper. “The greatest threat to Remembrance is out of the picture, and our brother is avenged. All is...as it should be.” Her voice breaks, and her body curls inward. Yeah, she’s crying. I have nothing I can say, or do. It’s like the vision of Nina told me before - Gail is my twin sister, she’s what the Lethifold referred to as my “other half” and yet...I don’t know her. We’ve had all of one full conversation. She’s a stranger to me. 

But she’s hurting. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt. So I simply hug her. Which, in the end, seems to be enough, because she hugs me back and just lets the tears pour. You know, I’ve said some less-than great things about my sister, mainly because she’s bought into the Cabal’s propaganda so entirely...but she’s following what she believes in. She doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. And her reaction to Nina’s fate is...appropriate. It feels like this is how I should be taking it, and yet I’m not. Gail had far less exposure to our mother, shared far fewer memories...and yet I’m just fine, and she’s the one who’s broken. 

“I never do this. I never cry in front of people. Except family.” Gail mutters eventually. “I always try to keep everything under control, but I don’t know if I can do it anymore. But I have to. Remembrance is counting on me, I can’t lose it like this in front of the Inner Circle…” 

I find myself having a vivid flashback to the Challenge. To Gail abruptly lifting her hood and hiding her face while Rakepick was addressing everyone. It was...after she found out that our mother sent her away. Was Gail crying behind her hood? You know Dad, I think she was. 

“It...it doesn’t make you weak. To have feelings, to show them. You’re human, Gail.” Merlin’s beard - she’s only eighteen. Why should she have to be a leader? There’s got to be a way to reverse the Vow.

“Yeah, I think I’d like a receipt on being human.” Gail responds in a snarky tone. I have no idea what a receipt is, but I think it’s some sort of muggle thing...maybe she picked up the phrase from Ben. I simply meet her eyes and nod slowly. I get the gist, and I can’t argue with that sentiment right now.

I don’t know how long we sit there by the ocean, with Gail venting her emotions. I don’t have a great sense of time at the moment. None of the others come by to get our attention, but perhaps they’re just being tactful. The only thing that rouses us from our moment is another bellowing roar. Much closer now. 

Hold on...I know that sound. I haven’t studied dragons as much as Charlie, but I know some trivia, here and there. Each of their voices have different inflexions and that is definitely a Welsh Green. I get to my feet, and I think this draws the attention of the others, because we all crowd together as, from the dancing lights in the sky, a swooping figure descends. Growing larger and larger. The others back up. But I stay put, because this is nothing more than greeting an old friend. 

Welshie lands directly in front of me, lets out another screeching roar, and I can hear the others cowering. Gail now hides in Ben’s shoulder, who in turn is hiding in my neck. Beatrice is clutching my backside and shoulder. But Mitten and Bitten freely approach the creature and pet him. Likewise, I reach out to stroke his snout. 

“Hey Welshie. It’s been a while.” 

“It sure has.” 

Beatrice peers around from behind my head, and Ben lifts his head as well, frowning at Welshie. “Did...you just talk...in english?” 

“It’s like he’s talking in our heads…” Gail mutters. 

Mitten nods. “Thought is pretty much a universal language here." 

“I tried and tried to communicate with you from the Physical realm, but it never worked.” Welshie continues, flexing his wings. “There were times that it felt like you could see me, but you never heard me until now. There’s so much to catch up on, but we’re running short on time. So first thing’s first - The treasure from the Sunken Vault. Throw it on the sand for me, will you?” 

Together, we all back up, and I do as Welshie says. Trusting him so completely and I couldn’t even tell you why, Dad. I hurl the Stone onto the sand and Welshie growls at us to stand back. So we back up even further as he circles the stone. “Even further, come on pipsqueaks. Do you want to get roasted?” 

Pipsqueaks…? No, no wait a second. Wait. 

His name is on the tip of my tongue before dragon fire ignites the beach. 

Sometimes I wonder if this is how it feels to be drunk, because the moment Welshie breathes onto the stone, his fire seems to become one with the sky. Whatever magic is affecting everything above us seems to be the same power within him, and it’s like the sky surges downward to empower his flames. Or...maybe they billow upward to touch the stars. I couldn’t tell you which, or if it was either of them. But in another moment, the firelight consumes us all. It surrounds us, and we are within Welshie’s blaze. 

Only, it doesn’t hurt, and we’re not dead. Someone screamed, I think it might have been Gail, but we appear to be unharmed. Which at this point, isn’t entirely a surprise. The laws of the world as I know them don’t always seem to apply here. So I take it in stride, and peer through the light. Searching for Welshie, but he’s gone. In his place, a human is standing. 

Dad, I’ve kept it together this whole time. Confronting the illusion of Nina, confronting the Lethifold, finding Mitten and Bitten, finding Gail, Beatrice and Ben...learning everything that’s going on in the physical world right now, even being chosen by Rowan’s wand. I kept my composure through everything. But I just can’t do it anymore. Not when I see him standing there. Whole and healthy and just the way I remember him. I fall forward, and Jacob catches me. I might be nine years old again, with a scraped knee. I don’t care anymore. He’s here, and I’ve found him. It’s all that matters. 

“Hey Luca. It’s okay, I’ve gotcha.” 

“Jacob...” I sob into his shoulder. “I don’t...I don’t understand.” 

Behind me, I can hear Beatrice’s voice. “Wait a sec..._ that’s _ Jacob?” 

The others are moving closer as well. Gail will probably be going through an emotional turmoil herself, but Ben will have to help her with that. I’ve got my own breakdown going on at the moment. Jacob gently helps me stand on two feet, looking into my eyes. Not a flicker of doubt in my heart like last time, there’s no unspoken tension. It’s him, it’s really him. 

Jacob grins playfully. “Turns out, it’s not so easy to kill someone with one of these.” He holds up his marked hand. “I guess we’re caught between both realms, because killing us always results in magical anomalies. Welshie was dying, Nina had poisoned him...so I used Invigorium to link our minds...I’ll admit, I didn’t really know what I was doing, but it worked out. It was just like having a friend in my head.” 

“Then I got hit with the Killing Curse, and Welshie and I sort of...became one? We’re the same consciousness now. It’s still me, it’s just...he’s here too.” Jacob is doing that thing where he tries to explain something, but is still figuring it out mid-way through talking, and on Merlin have I missed the way he used to do that. You miss it too, right Dad? I’ll bet you do. 

Now Gail is moving closer, staring at Jacob with confusion, her eyes slowly widening. I don’t think she knows what to say. Meanwhile, Ben is looking around. “Where are we? Are we going to burn to death? Because I’m about ready to bust us out of here.” He readies his wand, causing Jacob to address him. 

“No, don’t. Not yet. Look here…” He waves his hand, and the fire partially clears, revealing the Philosopher’s stone engulfed in it’s blaze. Jacob beckons to us. “We have to break the Invigorium Curse, the one that the Cabal created all those years ago.” 

Beatrice cocks her head. “And we do that by destroying the Stone?” There’s a slight pause, and she sucker punches him with a second question. “How do we know you’re really Jacob? The Cabal has impersonated you before.” Her eyes flash. “And I know for a fact they have people working in the Mental Realm.” 

I want to shush her. Because I do know. I can’t explain how I know - but I do. I know this isn’t an imposter at all. But I suppose the others can’t sense it the way I can. Maybe it would be good to reassure them. Convince Beatrice that he wasn’t one of the ones who tortured her.

Gail looks between Beatrice, Jacob, and me. For his part, Jacob gently shifts away from me, since I haven’t let go of him once. He places a hand on Gail’s shoulder, and one on mine, but he looks Beatrice in the eye. I never understood how eye contact was so easy for him. “I’m Jacob, the one and only. I suppose Luca’s told you lot all about me. But what they probably didn’t tell you is that I royally screwed up everything before I died. Torvus, Duncan, Rakepick...I failed all of them. Especially you.” He looks at me, and still sobbing, I just shake my head rapidly. It isn’t true. 

Ben snickers. “Introducing yourself with a self-burn? You’re _ definitely _ Luca’s brother.” 

Beatrice just rolls her eyes, as Jacob chuckles.”I am. And you…” He turns to Gail. “You’re my sister, aren’t you?” 

Gail suddenly shifts away from his touch, looking awkward. “Right, yeah. I’m Luca’s twin.” She takes a deep breath, shaking her head. Boy, the poor thing looks exhausted. “Sorry, it’s just...I’ve heard a lot of terrible things about you and I don’t know which of them were lies.” 

Jacob nods slowly. “I’m going to assume that most of them were. But not everything I did had a greater purpose behind it. For a long time, I wanted to join the Cabal. I wanted the power they were promising I could have. But it comes with a price, Gail. We have to break the Curse, even if it weakens us. Can I count on you to help me?” 

She doesn’t look at him. But she nods slightly, turning aside. Jacob seems to accept this, and turns back to Beatrice. “To answer your question, we’re not going to destroy the Stone. We can’t - an object like this can only be completely destroyed by the original creator. You’ll have to convince Flamel...or leverage him. Whatever it takes, but I’ll leave that part to you. In the meantime, it’s going to take all of us to break the Curse. Trust me or don’t trust me, but we need to break it. The power of our Marks should be enough to match the power of the Stone, if only for a few moments. From there, we can wield the Stone’s power.” 

Ben looks up with a gleam in his eye. “We could use the Stone? To its fullest potential? What kind of power are we talking about here? Enough to destroy the Cabal?” Gail shoots him a furious look, but I step between them. 

“Ben, we are _ not _ using this power for anything other than breaking the curse. Come on. That kind of thinking is what started the Cabal in the first place.” He seems to remember himself, but there’s still something else bothering him. I can tell. 

After a pause, he looks up at Jacob. “We’ll all go back to the way we were before the Curse afflicted us...is that right?” 

In another beat, I take the meaning too. I look up at Beatrice, over at Mitten, and then back to Jacob. He nods slowly. “Once we break the Invigorium Curse, the Fawleys will finally be free of The Mark of Despair. Everyone wandering this realm can finally move on. Beatrice.” She looks over at him as he turns his head. “You’ll be free of the Mark too, and the Curse. But you’ll still be a Slider. I can’t undo that.” 

Gail reaches out to Beatrice, and gently squeezes her shoulder. “Remember what I said, okay? I’m not going to let them hurt you.” 

The fire is flashing in multi-colors, it’s starting to make my eyes hurt. But Jacob now returns to Ben’s gaze. “Anyone who was artificially granted magic will lose that magic. If you were a muggle before, you’ll return to that state of being. I’m sorry.” 

Now it’s Beatrice who looks up from Gail’s gaze to stare at Ben. “If he was a what?” Before Gail shushes her. However, Ben and Jacob retain eye contact for a moment, before Ben heaves a deep sigh. 

“Thank God. I’ve had enough of the magical world for one lifetime.” Gail and I stare at him, but he looks between us with a tired smile. “Don’t sweat it, I’ll keep in touch. Might even visit now and then. But I need a break from all this. I need some therapy.” Gail makes a face, and Ben chuckles. “You...don’t even know what that is, do you? Never mind. Point is, I’m fine with this. It’s a relief, actually.” 

I glance back at Jacob again, and our eyes meet. “Alright Pip, are you ready?” 

There’s so much I want to say to him. But as the fire billows around us and the sky explodes above us, I know that the two realms could potentially collapse at any moment, so it will simply have to wait. Jacob offers me his hand - and I take it. Mitten’s hand is soon in my other hand, and one by one, the seven of us form a circle around the Philosopher’s Stone. 

“Steady now…” Jacob calls out. The birthmark on my hand is already starting to burn. Beatrice and Gail are wearing looks of discomfort that suggest they’re in pain too - Beatrice in particular is shifting her shoulders back and forth, probably feeling a lot of back pain. The fire seems to spread closer and closer to us...and then it’s on our clothes. In our hair - yet it only seems to tickle. 

“Reach out!” I hear Jacob calling. “Don’t think, feel! You should be able to see it!” So I close my eyes...and I do see it. So vividly, so clearly. Was it always this simple? The plumbing of the universe...so many different pipes with different functions. It’s as simple as waving your wand and fixing a hole in a bathroom sink. That’s all it is, Dad. The Invigorium has sprung a leak from the Mental Realm into ours...and we’re the leak. The Fawleys, the children affected by those pink potions, Beatrice...we are the leak ourselves. All we’re doing is patching it up. Rowan’s wand is in front of my face, and I’m making repairs like a true Healer. 

Time is most likely relevant, within the confines of this world. But I genuinely can’t tell if we’re in that circle, on that higher plane of existence...for longer than thirty seconds. But I’m also vaguely surprised that none of us has gray hair, because I could just as easily have sworn it was thirty years. Either way, the sky has returned to normal. The fire has gone out - the Philosopher’s Stone is still at the center of our circle, lightly smoking. Jacob has reverted to being Welshie, quietly preening his wings in the corner, as all of us recover from...whatever that was. 

I glance over at Ben and Gail, who both look like they could keel over at any moment and take a twelve hour nap. Mitten and Bitten are nuzzling each other and ignoring everything else. I glance over at Beatrice. Though tired and weathered, she’s actually smiling. Scooting closer to me, she reaches out and grabs my hand, lifting it up. Showing it to me. Though it takes me a second, I realize it. The Mark of Despair is gone. 

“Oh! Oh my god…” This seems to rouse Gail from her stupor, as she glances down at her own hand. Hers is gone too. 

“Merlin’s beard.” She mutters to herself. “So it worked? The curse is broken?” 

Beatrice shrugs, still seeming practically giddy, though she’s doing the best she can to conceal it. “Dunno, but the Marks are gone. I’m assuming mine is too, but whatever, I’ll check later.” She adds under her breath, to me specifically. It’s funny - even though the others probably now know that she had one, I don’t think Beatrice is acknowledging that. I think she’s very much the sort of person where nobody gets to know her secrets unless SHE decides to tell them - and if they find out through other circumstances, she just won’t address it, because to her, they aren’t supposed to know that anyway. I don’t think she’ll want people to know she had a Mark, even if it’s gone now. And by people, I primarily mean Penny. 

I turn around, looking toward Welshie...Jacob...I don’t know which of them he is right now. Maybe he’s both. It doesn’t really matter. I just want to talk to him. But we’ll have plenty of time for that in the future, I guess. Because I found my brother Dad. I can finally bring him home. 

It’s Ben who sits up and calls out to the dragon. “So now what? How exactly do we get home?” 

Welshie turns back toward us, scratching his talons against the shadowy sand. “I can take you back to where you belong, whenever you’re ready. This world isn’t going to collapse anymore, but if you stay too long you could still get lost - or turn into Sliders.”

Beatrice scoffs. “I’m ready to go now. I’ve spent entirely too much time in other worlds. I’d like to have a life now, and…” She hesitates. Glances toward Gail. “When we wake up in that old house, can we...continue the conversation we were having earlier?” Gail nods to her, and I feel the need to squash whatever Beatrice is planning, but I don’t get the chance. 

“I don’t suppose we’ll ever be coming back here again, will we?” Ben laments quietly. 

“No, you shan’t.” Bitten yawns, but even he looks troubled. “Human beings aren’t supposed to traverse this place normally. Your connection to the Mental Realm is all weird and distorted.” 

Mitten goes around hugging all of us, but predictably spends the most time cuddling me. “Don’t ever forget, okay? I’m always there and I can always here you, even if we don’t have universal language out there. I love you, and Bitten loves you too. He won’t admit it, but he does.” Bitten makes a disdainful sound, but denies nothing. 

“Thanks Mitten.” I mutter, truly regretting that we’ll likely never get a chance to speak like this again - but she’s right. At the end of it all, I can still understand her, and she understands me. 

Mitten grabs my face and showers it with kisses, and shows no intention of stopping until Bitten comes over to wrench her off me. Ben appears in their place to help me up. “Come on.” He mutters. “We’ve stayed too long already.” 

That we have. After giving final hugs to Mitten, and even Bitten - who stiffly accepts the affection and is kind enough not to pull away - I’ve moved to pick up the stone, and crossed over to stand beside Gail, Beatrice, and Ben. I try to catch my sister’s eye. Try to convey a message, to see how she’s doing, but I can’t quite manage it. 

“Get on. It won’t hurt, promise. I’ll take extra special care of you all.” There comes that voice in our heads - the voice of Welshie and Jacob at once, as they flex their wings again. Can’t say I’ve ever ridden a dragon before, not that I’m even sure this would count. Either way, I know Charlie will be insanely jealous. The four of us climb up onto Welshie’s back, and the two cats wave goodbye as Welshie takes off, flying us over the ocean. You know, I’d still mark asphyxiation at the hands of the Lethifold to be more terrifying, but the motion sickness that comes with flying a dragon is incredibly unpleasant and painful. And I thought riding a broom was the height of discomfort. Of all things, the Mental Realm has to be realistic on that score? Come on now. 

As a result of this, I’m hiding in Ben’s chest for most of the journey. No idea how the others are doing, but after a while I can feel us in descent. Then the thud of a landing. Let me see now...I’m not going to puke, am I? Well, if I did, maybe Beatrice would find me slightly less attractive...still don’t know what I’m going to do about that, or if I’m just misreading signals. Stumbling onto the ground beside the others, I realize where we are. I realize -when- we are. 

It’s Hogwarts, and we’re beside the Black Lake. Never thought I’d see this place again, and I sure didn’t think I’d be present for this event. Dad, do you remember your graduation ceremony? Because I remember attending Bill’s, and despite all the chaos that was going on at the time, it was nice. The seventh years got into the boats that they first arrived in, and rode out in the opposite direction. Leaving Hogwarts for the last time the same way they entered it, amid lovely floating candles. Here we are now, illuminated by such candles, with two...only two? Boats waiting for us. 

I glance around at the others, at Welshie - only now he’s back to being Jacob again. I’m not even going to bother trying to keep track of that. Jacob said he was still himself and I believe it - I can tell that he is. But now I’m confused. “Are we taking the boats back to the Physical Realm? I don’t think we could all fit in just two.” 

Jacob glances out at the Black Lake. “The Mental Realm is...it isn’t just a parallel world, you guys. I’ve had a long time to study it, and...it’s also a bridge. Between the living and the dead.” 

Ben folds his arms, and approaches Jacob. “So...what are you saying? Are we taking the boats? Or do we get on the carriages or something?” He points east, over to one of the Thestral-run carriages that always escorts non-first years. It does seem to be waiting for us too. But from the angle, it looks like the thestral would take us into the Forbidden Forest.

Something in the air changes. Jacob’s posture shifts slightly, and he looks at me. Then at Gail. Before glancing back at Ben. “You’ll want to take the Boats home. The Black Lake is the quickest way. The Carriages...lead to somewhere else.” 

Gail frowns. “Where, where else?” 

“On.” Jacob says in a quiet tone, staring at the carriage with a look that is...far too longing. 

“O-okay, great.” My voice is shaking. “So we’ll just...get on the boats then. It’ll be a tight squeeze with the five of us, I suppose, but we can manage it, a-and-” I break off as Jacob looks right at me. Behind me, I feel Beatrice grab my wrist. She knows. I know too. But I can’t….I can’t just accept it. Not now. Not after everything. 

He can’t go…

But I’m already starting to cry again. My breathing is erratic, my body is shaking. My eyes are burning. It’s a full breakdown and I just. Can’t. I can’t, Dad. He’s here. He’s right here. Jacob is within my grasp and now he’s going to ask me to just let him go. I can’t do that. I…

He’s holding me. Holding me in his arms where everything always felt safe, before the nightmare. Before Hogwarts, and the Cursed Vaults, and Remembrance...I feel him shifting his head to look up at the others. Hear him ask them to give us a moment. I turn my head to take a look at my friends. Ben nods solemnly, turning to get into one of the boats. Beatrice is staring at the floor, probably not knowing what to do or say, before she climbs into the other boat. Gail is the only one still standing...she and Jacob look at each other, before Gail abruptly turns away. 

“Go on then, this is your moment.” 

“Gail-” Jacob starts, but she cuts him off. 

“No, it’s fine. I get it, okay? You two have all this history, and I’ll never be a part of it.” 

“You should have been.” This time, I’m the one speaking, though my throat is still closed up from crying. “You should have been there from the start.” 

Gail looks over at Ben, and back at us. No, not quite. She’s not meeting our eye level. “Maybe so. But I wasn’t...and it’s too late now. We share blood, it’s true...but that’s all we share.” Without another word, she gets into the boat beside Beatrice.

Jacob lightly packs my back, and leaves my embrace. I instantly miss it, crave it, but I watch his motions. He moves to sit down at the lakeside, crouching as close to Gail as he can get without actually touching the boat. She isn’t looking at him, but he talks anyway. “It’s too late for us to share this life...but that doesn’t stop us from being family, you hear me?” 

“You hated me.” In a sudden spike, Gail’s emotions rush to the surface. “Our mother lied about so much...but that was the truth, wasn’t it? You hated me, you were glad I was gone. You blamed me for our parents always keeping you and Luca at arm’s length.” 

Oh god. That...wasn’t a lie. That was true. But Nina should never have said that to Gail. Just what else did she tell her? What degree of damage did she do? Was this why Gail trusted her at first? Was this how Nina tried to convince her not to miss her brother? 

Ben and Beatrice exchange a glance of shared discomfort. Jacob says nothing for a moment. Then he rests his cheek in his palm. “I said that, and I’m ashamed of it. But even when I said it, I knew it wasn’t fair. I needed someone to blame, someone to take out my resentment on. This was before I understood what our parents were. They shouldn’t have sent you away. And if it made them distant with us - that’s still on them, not you.” 

Yeah, it really is. Wherever you are out there, Dad, I’m going to assume and hope that you’ve realized that and are repenting for it. 

Gail stares back at Jacob, her eyes glistening, as he continues. “I’m a pretty lousy big brother, but I always tried...always...to protect Luca. My only regret about you is that I didn’t know you were alive until I got here. I was never able to protect you either. But now you and Luca can protect each other. And...it’s like Mitten said. I may not be able to communicate with you directly,” He’s looking at both of us now, me and Gail. “But I’m always going to be there, in a different form, keeping an eye on you pipsqueaks.” 

Gail is shaking now, sobbing just like me. She lunges forward and throws her arms around Jacob. I hear her muffled voice, “Don’t go…” 

He holds her back, shutting his eyes. “I have to. My time is up...I don’t belong in the world of the living anymore. But it’s okay. It’s not goodbye, you hear me? It’s just a parting.” 

“What’s the difference?” I gasp. 

Jacob looks at me. “The difference is that goodbye is final. Parting is temporary. Someday, a long time from now, your time will come too. And we’ll all be together again. We’ll be a family.” He slowly gets up, gradually shifting back. Gail holds onto his hands until he’s out of reach, as he crosses to hug me again. I’m still sobbing like a little baby.

“I don’t want to wait. I want to have you back.” I gasp. “You shouldn’t have to stay. It’s not fair. You were young. You were younger than I am now. You deserve to have a life. I got hit with the Killing Curse too, why do I have to go and you have to stay?” 

“Luca, listen to me.” Jacob grabs my face, and stares into my eyes. You know Dad, eye contact always used to give me anxiety...except with him. “I’m already gone...deep down, you know it. I died a long time ago. My window has closed. I can’t return to the world of the living...but you can. You have to live. Not just for me, not just for your sister...but everyone else who needs you. Luca...you are what I always should have been. You’re the best of us. So go on, get out there, and live the most wonderful life you can. Do that for me.” 

If anyone, and I mean anyone, could ever convince me that life is worth living, that I have a reason to return to the physical world, that people there need me and their lives are better with me around...if anyone could do that, it would be Jacob. God damn it…

There’s the sound of water sloshing nearby. Gail’s climbed out of the boat and moved to hug us both. For one, precious, shining moment, standalone in time...the three Fawley kids are united. Together as we always should have been. But then we’re all leaning backward. Gail is holding onto my arm. She’s going to do what she knows best - present a strong outer shell, so others don’t have to. Jacob holds each of us by the shoulder. “It’s not over, you two. You need to get Flamel to destroy the Stone. And the Cabal is still alive and kicking…” 

Gail interrupts him. “Under my command, that will be a good thing. Remembrance isn’t going anywhere, but I’ll keep them on the straight and narrow. Do I have your blessing?” She raises an eyebrow. No doubt, she’ll carry on even without his blessing, but she’d like to have it. 

Jacob grins his dauntless smile. “Risk-taker, huh? Starting to think Luca might be the black sheep of this family.” He tugs us both back into his arms and kisses the top of our heads. “If that’s your way, then so be it.” 

“Not going to ask if I’m sure I can handle them?” 

Jacob laughs. “I’m more worried that they won’t be able to handle you.” 

Gail smiles for the first time since...I think since we got here. She throws a glance at me. “See? Even Jacob gets it.” She playfully winks at me, before hugging her brother, and turning to head back to the boat. 

I look back at Jacob. I know it’s time to leave, but I find myself still dawdling. “Will I ever see you again? You know, before I die and pass on?” 

Jacob pauses, seems to be in thought, and then shrugs. “Who knows? Anything is possible in the future. Just in case, you better lead an amazing life, pip. Don’t want to disappoint me if I start haunting you, right?” 

Oh that bastard. He can always make me laugh. I shake my head. “Fine, you win. Next time you see me, I’ll be Minister of Magic, how bout that?” 

Jacob makes a face. “Ew, you want to work in the Ministry?” 

I snicker. “Not a chance. Magical creatures are where it’s at.” 

Then we high-five. 

My arm lowers slowly, like time itself caught on it’s heels. There’s an agonizing pause. I take a deep breath. I have to be strong. 

“Goodbye, Jacob.” 

“So long, Luca.” 

Foot by foot. Step by step. I’m backing up. I nearly fall into the boat, but Ben is there to catch me and make sure my journey is stable. 

The boats are moving. Sailing across the Black Lake. Jacob is getting further and further away. I feel like he’s waiting until we’re gone to board the carriage - so Gail and I don’t have to see it. But it’s okay. I think...I think I’m okay now. 

Jacob is just a speck in the distance now. I can’t even really see him anymore. And I won’t see him ever again...not in this life, at least. 

The boats are filling up with water, they’re sinking. I don’t clue into this until I hear Beatrice yelp. But it’s alright - the Black Lake is consuming us, and taking us home. Dad, you’re about to be reunited with Jacob. That thought fills me with an inexplicable happiness, and all of a sudden I’m smiling, just as the water level rises to fully submerge me. Then it’s all black. 

We did it. 

Love, Luca. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that. The Fawley Curse is broken, Nina's crimes caught up with her, and Jacob can finally rest. 
> 
> Not even gonna lie, I rewrote Jacob's farewell about six times before I was satisfied with it. That's part of why this chapter took so long. Initially, Gail wasn't part of it that scene at all - but I realized it would be rotten to exclude her when none of this was her fault.
> 
> On a lighter note, we got to hear Mitten speak! From the moment I put them in the story, I knew I wanted Mitten and Bitten to eventually have spoken lines. I mean, they earned it, right? Fun fact: In earlier drafts, I was planning for Mitten and Bitten to be Merula's parents in Animagus disguise...but then I thought to myself, "That makes no sense at all. That's frigging stupid" 
> 
> I did tease that the Lethifold had a bigger purpose as well, and it turned out to be a (creepy) ally! 
> 
> There will be one more chapter, but it's more of an epilogue, in a way. Tying up loose ends and such. Falling action. 
> 
> If you made it this far, you don't know what it means to me. Thank you so much and I hope you've had a good time!


	40. Don't Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning from the other world, Luca must also try to return to a normal life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. We're really here. We're actually at the end. 
> 
> I know this chapter took even longer than the last one, and for that I apologize. But I was deeply agonizing over several sections and choices. I also didn't want to say goodbye. Guess I've grown quite attached to Luca and their story...
> 
> Just want to thank everyone who took the time to check out this fic. Honestly can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to me. Please, enjoy! Let me know what you think! Even if you hate it, tell me that too! I welcome any and all comments and opinions! 
> 
> But that's enough stalling, onto the story!

** _June 14th, 1998_ **

Dear Jacob,

Thank you.

Thank you for everything. I need to say that first and foremost. Beyond all things, know that I love you and I miss you. More than I could ever convey. I was able to let you go, able to move on, but...I just need to highlight how much you helped me take back control of my mental state from my depression. You kept me going and made me stronger. Even when I doubted you, there you were from beyond, looking out for me.

Since you truly have passed into the great abyss now, perhaps you already know everything that I'm about to tell you. But I'll say it anyway. I need to write. Get some words onto parchment. It will help distract me from...well, a lot has happened, and it's been way too long since I wrote to you.

I remember waking up from my comatose state, after you sent us on our way. I remember Tulip and Merula tackling me and pelting me with kisses, staining my face with their tears, at least until a certain Mitten forced her way to the front of the cuddling line.

It wasn't until later that evening, when I was feeding her and Bitten, and nobody else was in the room, that I gave it a try.

"M-Mitten...can you hear me? Do you...remember?" She told me, in the Mental Realm, that she would always understand. But I thought it might look silly if I tested it around other people. I felt silly saying it even by myself.

But Mitten immediately looked up from her tuna. Her ears twitched once. Twice. Beside her, Bitten sneezed and gave me a bemused expression. Mitten flicked him with her tail, before crossing to exit the room. For the briefest moment, my heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

But then she returned, holding...a small calendar, of all things, in her mouth. Bitten's ears drooped as she set it down in front of him. He gave a weak "arow" before trotting over to me and rubbing between my legs. Mitten moved closer as well, and lifted herself onto her hind-paws, which has always been a universal signal for wanting to be held. At that moment, words echoed in my head.

_ "If you make it back, Bitten promises to be nice for a whole month!" _

_ "Wha? I never said-ouch!" _

As Bitten reluctantly nuzzled my ankle, as I held Mitten in my arms, I wept silently because I had my answer.

I remember saying goodbye to Ben before he quietly slipped back into the muggle world. He didn't even say goodbye to most of the others. I just managed to catch him, and hug the stuffing out of him. Just before we both ran into Rakepick. That was rather illuminating. To her credit, she admitted that she mistreated Ben and Gail - though in her typical fashion, she didn't really apologize. Gave me the Spyglass that Nina used, as a gesture of good faith, and later on I removed the enchantment and tossed it into the sea. 

Rakepick explained to us that she was going off the grid. As it turns out, Aurelia and Nigel were able to get out of Azkaban by agreeing to testify against others that Moody wanted to lock down. Dumbledore talked him into it. The charges against the Snydes were waived and all they had to do was name a few names. Consequently, one name they were all too willing to give...was Patricia Rakepick. Who not only killed Eileen Prince, but also tortured their child. Without Remembrance to protect her, Rakepick knew Snape and the Snydes would not rest until she went to Azkaban herself. Yet before she disapparated, I was able to extract one final answer from her.

"You owe me the truth. Jacob wrote in his journal that you saved our lives. But that was before he died. Before I came to Hogwarts. Before the Lethifold. So what was he talking about?"

Her cold eyes narrowed. For the briefest moment, I believe she considered lying. But then-

"Jacob never told you why I declared a challenge the first time, did he? No, I expect not. But I bid my time. It wasn’t until Nina forced my hand-”

"Don't play games. Just tell them." Ben had interjected.

"I will. I'll tell you, Luca. If you really want to know. But it will break your heart."

"Go ahead, I'm used to it." And I was. And I am.

Rakepick bristled slightly. "Jacob knew that it was no fever, but poison that killed your father. The same poison that almost killed you." She took a deep breath. "Nina didn't just feed the poison to Eric. She gave it to you, Jacob, and herself. If I had not intervened with the antidote, you all would have died.” 

Okay yeah, that broke me a little bit more. I knew Nina was awful, but…”No wonder you were worried about Gail…” I muttered, more to myself.

"It was not the only time your mother attempted suicide. Or murder suicide. She was highly disturbed, Luca. I once suggested she see a muggle psychiatrist, only for her to throw a fit."

Ben was looking between Rakepick and I. "So when Jacob thought someone was trying to kill Luca...?"

"He assumed it was Dumbledore, trying to protect the Cursed Vaults from those who carried Marks of Despair. I let him believe that. He was already loyal to me and ready to move against The Director of Remembrance without knowing her identity. I couldn't risk him changing his mind or becoming compromised if he learned the truth. Though in the end, my initial challenge failed anyway. The Inner Circle was, at first, very loyal to her." Yeah. And I was loyal to you Rakepick, once upon a time.

Her parting gift was a journal, old and tattered and clearly full. She said it belonged to you, and that she hadn't been able to risk giving it to me until Nina was out of the picture. Well, it was your handwriting alright. Those "A"s are still a nightmare.

After that exchange, they left in turn. Rakepick, followed by Ben. I didn't, and still don't forgive her for what she did to Merula, but I didn't have it in me to be angry anymore. We never heard from Rakepick again, but Ben visits semi-frequently. He managed to track down his biological family too, so that's something. His Dad is hilarious and looks almost exactly like him. 

I remember when the Haywoods burst in, and rushed to their daughters. Flitwick had, for once, chosen to defy Dumbledore, and alert The Haywoods to Beatrice's comatose state. Dumbledore wanted to wait and resolve the problem first, but thankfully we were all awake by the time they arrived. For once, Beatrice seemed to offer no resistance to affection as her parents and sister dog-piled her with hugs. Well, not until her Mum attempted to wipe her makeup off.

I had stood awkwardly in the background up until that point, but when Beatrice grumpily shuffled away from her mum’s hand, and muttered “Help me, Luca.” Both of her parents turned and stared at me. I guess they hadn’t caught my name until that moment. 

“You’re...Luca?” They were both looking at me with glassy eyes. Penny nodded in response, because I was basically paralyzed. Then their Dad nodded to me, his voice breaking slightly. “Then you get in here too. Come on now. You’re family.” 

Jacob, I was crying before I even made it into the hug. 

But while Penny may have told her family all about me, no one told them about Gail. And Beatrice remains the only Haywood to actually be fond of her, to this day. I can still remember Gail talking, at length, to Penny and her parents. Trying to reassure them that she would protect Beatrice at any cost. That the Cabal was going to be a safe haven, not a prison...and it was a moot point to argue anyway, since Beatrice couldn't abandon them without triggering the Vow. Oh boy, The Haywood family did not care for my twin. Turns out Penny’s mum not only swears, but knew some profanities that I never even heard you say. It’s been...touchy. Beatrice’s parents refused to let her drop out of Hogwarts, and seemed to think Gail was the one to plant that idea in her head, which she wasn’t. 

Beatrice ultimately agreed, begrudgingly, to return. But only after I promised her and Flitwick that I would return as well. All of the students who fled Hogwarts came back after Christmas. Even this one. I appealed to Gail as well, but it was fruitless. She already graduated a year ahead of her class at Ilvermorny, and she was going to be very busy running the Cabal. This, unfortunately, led to a bit of an argument. 

“We’re back to square one without the Marks of Despair, but the Philosopher's Stone should help things on track. Where’ve you left it, by the way?” 

The Philosopher’s Stone. I had found it in my pocket upon waking up. At that exact moment, when Gail posed the question, I had it stored safely in an enchanted music box over at Snyde Manor. Merula had showed me how it worked, and only the person who hid something in the box could retrieve what they hid without succumbing to the music’s curse. I don’t condone dark magic most of the time, but the Stone was that important. I found myself staring back at Gail, bewildered. 

“You can’t be serious. You’re just going to go back to doing the same thing?” 

Gail’s brow furrowed. “What, kidnapping children and killing people who ask questions? I’m not Mum, Luca. Remembrance is going to resume our efforts to make the world a better place, by studying the boundaries of magic and seeing how far we can push them.” 

“Gail, that’s what Jacob was fighting to stop.” My voice caught like a toad in my throat. “Listen to me. In the Mental Realm, the Lethifold told me - the more we experiment with magic, the more it puts a strain on both worlds!” 

She folded her arms and leaned up against the wall. “Right, right. A murderous dark creature told you a fairy tale, and you believed it? How do you even know that was real, Luca? Could just be your own mistrust of the Cabal acting up.” 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jacob, I know she’s our sister, and for that I always care about her. But in that moment I swear, it felt like my world was breaking down. I was staring at a stranger with murky intentions, someone who I couldn't trust - and that stung worse than anything.The war that I thought was over was only just beginning. “Don’t do this. Don’t perpetuate this. If you really want to help people, to make a world worth remembering, this isn’t the way-” 

“I’m the Director now Luca, it’s my  _ job _ to know what it takes to help people. And what it’s going to take is the Philosopher’s Stone. When Remembrance wields that kind of power, we can stop people like Grindelwald and You-Know-Who from causing the suffering that they did.” There was a very thick, tenseous pause. “Luca...where’s The Stone?” 

I just stared at her. Backed up a few steps. Very slightly shook my head. Gail’s eyes narrowed, and in another moment I could feel an intrusion in my mind. More powerful than I was used to. I pushed back, and the struggle lasted about thirty seconds before Gail left my head and stormed away. It hadn’t occurred to me before, but with the Mark gone, so was all of its power. I lost my inherent resistance to mental magic. I didn’t know if Gail saw where I hid the Stone. I had no idea how skilled she was at Legilimency without her Mark. The only comfort I had was that, even if she saw its location, she couldn’t hope to retrieve it.

But after the tension, after the arguments, once Gail had gone on her way and the Haywoods felt comfortable enough to let Beatrice out of their sight for longer than five seconds, she caught up with me in the hall. Apparently she had checked - and her mark was gone too, thank Merlin. But then she pulled me into one of the old, creaky rooms. 

I looked around, and back at her. “What’s up?” 

She bit her lip. Something that was always an unfortunate habit for her. “I just...need to tell you something. I dunno if you’ve worked it out, but...I need to tell you. So shut up and listen, okay?” 

Could feel a slight prickling sensation at her words. Had a feeling that I knew where the conversation was going, but there was nothing to be done but to, as she said, shut up and listen. “Alright...I’m listening.” 

Then Beatrice grabbed my collar and yanked me forward, leaning in as well, and kissed me. 

Damn. I had figured a confession was coming my way, but I wasn’t expecting that. A million thoughts in my head at that moment - whether Penny would hex me into oblivion, whether her parents would...Tulip probably wouldn’t care, but Merula...that was scary to think about. Bea’s lips were chapped, and I’m fairly sure this was her first kiss. She lingered for a moment before leaning back, flushed. 

“So...yeah. Just thought you should know.” Then she fled the room. Well, she didn’t “flee” she turned around, cool as a cucumber, and walked away. But I have to imagine that in her head, she was making a terrified retreat. Sooner or later, we did have an actual discussion about it. Had to let her down gently. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Beatrice, but...I already have partners, and being poly-amorous doesn’t always mean that “anything goes.” Besides, at the time, the age difference mattered a lot more than it would now. 

I remember finally tracking down Rowan, a couple of hours later, back at Snyde Manor. When I first woke up, it was like the changes from the Mental Realm seemed to carry over into the Physical Realm. Obviously, I didn’t have my mark anymore, to everyone’s shock. But I also had The Philosopher’s Stone in my pocket. I knew that would need direct attention, a serious solution, and I was prepared to negotiate with Nicholas Flamel. But first, I had something else in my pocket that I needed to return - Rowan’s wand. 

Except, they refused to take it. Jacob, have I mentioned that my friends are cooler than yours? Because Rowan was over the moon about their wand choosing me. They insisted that I take it, that it only made sense and that they considered it a great honor. All with a wide smile. 

“But what about you?” I found myself spluttering. “What are you going to do?” 

Rowan shrugged a little, fixing their glasses, before reaching into their robe pocket and pulling out another familiar wand. “Well, Ben did give me this, while he was packing up his things. Said he couldn’t keep it, even as a memento, because after he turned back into a muggle it started doing funny things when he held it. Firing indiscriminately. So he gave it to me. It should tide me over until I’ve built myself a new one.” Rowan grinned again. I was at a loss. 

“You’re...going to build yourself a wand? Again?” 

Rowan held up Ben’s wand and studied it under the light. “Been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life. If I truly do want to teach, or...if I want to study wandlore. I haven’t decided. But for now, I’m going to pursue both as best I can.” 

I helplessly held out the cedar and phoenix wand to Rowan one more time, but they just pushed my hand back and squeezed my shoulder with their other hand. “You have my full blessing, Luca. Just as Ben gave me his. So use it well, you hear me?” 

If I ever get married, assuming marriage laws are ever changed to allow three people, Rowan is going to be the Best Man (Best Woman? Best Person? Whatever.) and Tulip and Merula are just going to have to live with that. Because Rowan is the best. 

However, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There was a loose end that needed tying. 

To Wormtail’s credit, he had the foresight to make a run for it after all of us went into our comas. By the time Rowan and I started to hunt him down, he was nowhere to be seen. Charlie mentioned in passing that he had lost Scabbers, and that Percy and his Mum were surely going to kill him. So we offered to help him look, and enlisted the dynamic cat duo as well. While Charlie looked at Hogwarts, Rowan and I had other locations in mind. 

Bitten was the one to find him first, skulking in Knockturn Alley. It’s a good thing that Rowan and I got there pretty soon afterward, because it was only on his honor that Bitten was refraining from just eating the rat, and Bitten...isn’t the most honorable kitty, as I’m sure you recall. Still, we grabbed hold of Wormtail and forced him to revert to his human shape.    
  


“Get Charlie.” I nodded to Rowan, but before they could disapparate, Wormtail..bloody hell. Wormtail burst into tears. 

“Wait, wait! Please. You don’t understand. If people discover I’m alive, then I won’t be for much longer. Please! They need to think I’m dead.” 

“Why?” I snapped coldly. “Because Sirius Black is innocent, and you were the Spy that got the Potters killed?” 

Wormtail blanched. Yeah, I knew it. The moment I heard it, I knew it was true. Even as he muttered denials, I just scoffed. Rowan threw me a confused glance. “He’s what now?” 

I looked between Rowan and Wormtail. “When I went to Azkaban and found out Merula’s parents never made it, I spoke to Sirius Black. Let me tell you, for a supposed madman, he’s remarkably sane.” 

Wormtail had curled up in a ball on the ground, hyperventilating. He was gasping out all sorts of pleas. Insisting that he would do anything to be spared. “Please, Luca. I’m so afraid.” He finally wailed, amid sobbing. “I’ve always been afraid. I just wanted to be someone, someone cool like...like Sirius or James. But I never had what it takes. I didn’t want..” He hiccuped. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I mean it, I didn’t! I only did what I was told so they would leave me alone. That’s all I want, see? I’ll do anything. Anything. Just please let me be.” 

Beside us, Bitten hissed. Rowan was scowling. “Why should we? You’re a Death Eater.” 

“So are the Snydes! But you’re letting them go, right? What’s one more?” He whined. 

I stared at Wormtail for a long time. I’ve always been a merciful person, Jacob. Too merciful. “No. You’re dangerous. If you’re the Spy, that means it was you who killed all those muggles, the day they arrested Sirius Black. And after that, you want us to let you just go back to living with The Weasleys? With their children? Get the hell out of here, we’re not doing that.” 

Wormtail gave me the most pitiful look imaginable. I tried not to waver, but then…

“What if I swear? W-what if I promise I’ll never hurt them? Not ever. I have no reason to! They’re my cover.” 

“Yeah, and the second the winds change, the second they become a liability, you wouldn’t hesitate to turn your wand on them.” Rowan spat in a derisive tone. 

“I’ll swear to it! I-I never took the Vow with R, but I’ll take it now! Your family still runs the Cabal, right Luca? You can keep me under your control. All I ask in return is that you look the other way!” 

Rowan and I exchanged a glance, as they made a sickened face, still training their wand on Wormtail. “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering this. There’s nothing to be gained by accepting his offer Luca, come on.” 

But I’m about as merciful as Rowan is vengeful, and Merlin help me...I was considering it. It’s funny, because the Unbreakable Vow is easily one of the worst parts about the Cabal. I fought tooth and nail to stop them from inducting children the way they did Gail and Beatrice. But there I was, contemplating the use of Remembrance’ most powerful weapon. 

“Fine.” I said at last, earning a hopeful look from our prisoner and a look of exasperation from my best mate. “But just to set the record straight, we’re not binding you to R. I don’t represent them. Never have, never will.” Jacob...it incenses me that they actually got away scot-free. That they were left to run business as usual. Gail has made some drastic changes, and it’s not nearly as problematic as it once was...but it’s still a freaking cult. After what that organization did, after they almost ended existence as we know it...I can feel nothing but contempt. Sadly, it’s somewhat wrecked my relationship with my sister.

“So…?” Wormtail was eyeing me, twitching every now and then.

“So,” I gesture with my wand for him to stand up, which he does. “You’re going to swear an oath to never, ever harm the Weasleys, or those they care about. Rowan and I will swear an oath to never breathe a word of your secrets. Does that sound fair?” Wormtail starts to respond but I cut him off. “Too bad, it’s a one time offer. Take it or leave it.” 

And Jacob, he took it. 

I remember meeting with Flitwick, after we returned “Scabbers” to Charlie. I refused to see Dumbledore, even though I had already agreed to return for the second term. When he approached me that day, after I woke up from my coma, I stone-walled him. Told him I would only talk to Professor Flitwick, and I meant it. So on the first day back to school, he and I met in his classroom, where he had once offered me a tutoring position. Jacob, he really was, and is, wonderful. We must have talked for a couple of hours, since he had a free period. He told me how proud he was of the grown-up I had become, and let me tell you - one compliment from him is worth a hundred from Dumbledore or Sprout. But it wasn’t long before we got to the main point. 

“Luca, Professor Dumbledore is aware that, while you were in the Mental Realm, you came to be in possession of a powerful artifact that doesn’t belong to you.” 

I said nothing, so he continued. “The Philosopher’s Stone, in the wrong hands, could cause devastation. I shudder to think what R might have done with it. So we’re glad you found it, and glad that you broke the curse on your family. But it’s time that it was returned.” 

I took a deep breath, trying to keep an expressionless face. “My brother gave it to me. It was his last gift before he died. So long as I have it, no one else can use it for evil. Seems like a good outcome to me. If I give it to you, Professor, what are you going to do with it?” I think the subtext was clear. I trusted Flitwick to tell me the truth, but I needed to know if it was him asking, or Dumbledore. Because I’d be willing to give the Stone to Flitwick, but I had a feeling he was speaking on behalf of the latter. I was right. 

“Professor Dumbledore will return it to it’s rightful owner, that’s all. He doesn’t want to use it anymore than you do. But it belongs to Nicholas Flamel. Without the Stone, he and his wife can no longer produce the elixir that keeps them alive.” 

Flamel. The man who founded Remembrance. Even then, I could feel my knuckles whiten. “How old is Flamel? Three hundred? Five hundred? He’s had a good life, I bet. But if the Stone is going back to him, I might as well have just forked it over to my sister when she demanded it.” I was slowly shaking my head. “You said it yourself, Professor. R can’t be allowed to have it, and Flamel is their founder.” 

Flitwick was gazing at me with a very peculiar expression, before he leaned forward. “He is also the only man that can destroy the Stone forever. No one else can break the enchantments on it. Luca, it so happens that Albus Dumbledore is not the only one to be friends with Nicholas Flamel. So am I. He hasn’t been involved with the Cabal for centuries. In truth, he regrets creating the Organization and has been fighting to stop them for a long time.” So, that was where Dumbledore got his fountain of information. I didn’t believe it entirely, at least not at first, but I’m not always right.

Flitwick paused, and took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “He and his wife, Perenelle, would have destroyed the Stone years ago...but they’re only human, and to destroy the Stone would be to face death. Fear has stopped them many times in the past, so they gave the Stone to Albus Dumbledore several years ago, after producing a large stock of elixir. They asked him to hide it where it could never be found. Then your brother found it.” 

I couldn’t help but smile at that. Of course you would break the record. When didn’t you? “How do you know they’ll destroy it this time? If they’ve failed in the past?” 

Flitwick looked up at me with an odd smile. “Because they’re tired, Luca. Even when one is immortal, age will catch up to them. Life has exhausted them after six centuries. They’ve asked for one more year, just one, to say goodbye to their loved ones. After that, they’ll go.” 

Merlin’s beard. I was actually able to empathize with that feeling, and it was like Flitwick knew that I would. He understands me, Jacob. Not as well as you did, but he always has understood me rather well. So in the end, I surrendered the Stone to him. 

That wasn’t the last of the fiascos that it was involved in. You-Know-Who, or what was left of him, tried to use it the very next year, to restore himself. Dumbledore had hidden it at Hogwarts again, and the old muggle studies teacher, Quirrel, turned out to be a Death Eater. Always thought he was a strange bloke. But when all was said and done, Flamel kept his promise. Tulip, Merula and I were present when he destroyed the Stone. A few months later, we got an owl that he and Perenelle had passed away.

But that was years ago. Seven years, to be exact. But I don’t forget. I never forget what we all went through. 

I ended up giving Black Sand Apothecary to Penny. I never wanted to live in the place again, and it gave her a treasure trove of potions and ingredients to experiment with. She’s been able to make serious improvements to several outdated recipes and is always on the verge of a new discovery. She and Skye are living in the home that you and I grew up in, though Skye doesn’t spend much time at home - she got taken on by the Wigtown Wanderers. Don’t know how long she’ll stay, but right now she’s loving it. 

Rowan studied with Ollivander for a while, before they took a teaching internship over in France, at Beauxbatons...with Diego. Oh yeah, that ended up happening. At one time, such a pairing might have made me cringe. But I’m happy for them. If Rowan was here, I’d tease them and tell Diego all their embarrassing stories. But...they’re not here. I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss them, Jacob. We write every week, and they always come to spend the Holidays here, but...I spent years living in the same room as them. It just isn’t enough. I’ve literally cried myself to sleep some nights...though considering that it’s me, I suppose that isn’t so impressive. Still, they’re pursuing their dreams, so far be it from me to stand in their way. I couldn’t be happier for them. 

Barnaby and Liz currently work together, and travel the world, helping as many creatures as they can. You should hear the stories that Liz tells about keeping Barnaby out of trouble. I don’t know if they’re dating, I don’t see them as much as I’d like to, not nearly enough to estimate. But I do know that every time they visit, they have some exotic critter to show us and it’s always a blast. Jacob, have you ever petted a fwooper? Because they’re quite soft. 

As for Talbott, he and Badeea currently run a shop together, selling magical paintings, and I do know for a fact that they’re dating. Married, actually. Tulip was the Head Bridesmaid and she had...far too much fun, causing pranks at the wedding. Talbott did apply to the Auror Program, but they didn’t take him on. So he tried again, the following year. He still didn’t make the cut. After the third time, he seemed to give up. I felt terrible for him, but even more terrible because I was secretly relieved. Aurors...don’t always live very long. 

Jae is also in the business of running a shop...in Knockturn Alley. Yup, you should be proud of your little apprentice because he’s living his dream, and then some. The Ministry did bust him a couple of years back, but they ended up letting him keep his business so long as he agrees to be an occasional informant. He was happy to rat people out whenever he was asked to...with one exception. Last year, they asked him to name all of the unregistered werewolves that he knows of. He named all but one. Jacob, Chiara’s been through hell. A lot of people went on the run this year, or stopped contacting their friends - Chiara was one of them. According to Jae, she lost several family members to the war, and she was in hiding for a good eight months before she came home. They’ve had their ups and downs too. Apparently they broke up and reconciled a few times. But that’s none of my business. At least my relationship is still strong. 

These days, we’re all still living together, at Snyde Manor. Merula wasn’t about to leave her parents behind once she was reunited with them, and Tulip and I weren’t about to leave our favorite bundle of chaos. So it was that we all became one big, quirky family. Aurelia and Nigel took some time to get used to us, but thankfully Nigel remembered me from the Challenge, and I think they could tell how important we were to their daughter. With time, we bonded more. I know they’re former Death Eaters, but little by little, they’re making baby steps to repent for their mistakes in the past. I think Merula is helping them with that, just as I tried to help her.

Thankfully, Gail was able to work out a loophole in the vow, that allows Nigel and Aurelia to live their lives away from Remembrance. So long as they don’t betray the Cabal, and serve the cause, they’re fine. But “serving the cause” can, apparently, be as simple as a monthly donation of ten galleons. She did the same thing for Beatrice, who went through a variety of different styles during her days at Hogwarts. In fourth year, she played Quidditch. By sixth, she was punk. While Gail and I still don’t talk very much beyond sending Christmas cards, I see the Haywoods all the time, and Beatrice and I fell into writing each other consistently. There are nights, even still, that she’ll find herself “sliding” into other worlds, however briefly - but she’s doing much better now. And since she was dating Elora Dunn by her fifth year, I think it’s safe to say she’s over me. 

Tulip started working at Zonko’s and seemed to rise to a managerial position almost overnight. It’s been amusing, because the Weasley twins eventually started their own business and became professional rivals to her. Merula, well...you might not believe this, Jacob, but Merula is at the Ministry. She’s not exactly an Auror, but something called a Hit Witch. Hit Witches and Wizards are, as far as I can tell, the same thing as Aurors. Except with less detective work, and more combat. Ben once described the difference between muggle police and muggle military, and I think that sums it up rather well. Course, this means that Merula puts herself in danger all the time, and was constantly on the front lines. So as you can imagine, Tulip and I aren’t thrilled about it. But it makes her happy. It helps her vent her stress. So I can’t complain too much. 

Then there’s me. My journey has been a fascinating one. I spent a year in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, but I did not like the atmosphere at all, even if I got to see Barnaby, Liz, and Merula more. Sooner or later, I left - before it got really toxic and corrupt. Fudge went off the deep end, and it only got worse from there. I did some soul-searching and ultimately hooked up with Ismelda (not like that…) and we wrote a book together about the Cursed Vaults. Hey, I’m nothing if not a writer, right? Fast forward a few years, and we’re working on another one about the Death Eater wars. Ismelda always wanted to be a magical historian and I guess I followed her along that path. On the bright side, we’re getting along much better now. I even met her sister. Jacob, her sister is awful. 

There are a few people I have yet to mention. Because it hurts too much to talk about it. Hurts so much that I want to die. 

It’s been over seven years now, since I set up a gambit to trick Gail and Rakepick, only to learn that they were tricking me. Seven years since I traveled to Grimmauld Place, with one of my closest friends using my face as a disguise. It’s been over seven years since Tonks did that for me. One day among so many others that proved how incredible she was. Ten years ago, she taught me the Patronus charm. A year ago, she got married. A few weeks ago, she had a baby boy. But he’ll never know her. 

Jacob...Tonks is gone. They killed her. 

He came back. You-Know-Who. Gathered all of his forces again. Including Wormtail. But from what I hear, he literally strangled himself to death. So I guess the Vow caught up with him. Sirius Black escaped Azkaban, but he was killed too. By the same person who murdered Tonks - Bellatrix. There have been so many break-outs from Azkaban now that I don’t even remember which one got her out. But they killed Tonks. They killed Remus Lupin. They killed Fred Weasley. When I said the war was just beginning, I had no idea how right I was. You-Know-Who failed to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone, but he still came back to life. With Wormtail’s help. Because we let him go. My merciful impulse caused a chain reaction that got countless innocent people killed, and you already know that I hate myself for it...but I’ve been pushing that down. 

Merula, Tulip and I all stand outside, ready to disapparate together. Tulip is a mess, but not as bad as Penny. Or Charlie. I’ve had a few breakdowns myself. But we have to keep it together, because it’s time for the funeral. Mitten and Bitten trot outside, followed by Dennis, and Merula’s parents come soon after. In the final years of the war, we all aided Dumbledore’s organization, the Order of the Phoenix. But even he’s gone now. In the end, he was betrayed by Snape - as if I needed further proof that the staff was a toxic mess. Though apparently, Snape was always working against You-Know-Who? And Dumbledore wanted Snape to kill him? That’s the rumor. Eh, I can’t keep track of it all. 

After Aurelia gathers us all in a group hug and takes Tulip’s face in her hands, my beloved partner seems to recover, and the three of us leave for Hogwarts. Tulip has done a lot of soul searching over the past few years. Rakepick’s parting words stuck with her. Sometimes I think she deliberately tries to live her life in a way that makes her less like Rakepick, rather than just being herself. For once, Merula and I are the ones teaming up to help her. I think that, more than anything else, helped Merula let go of her anger toward Rakepick. Tulip was unconsciously associating her betrayal of Merula, all those years ago, with Rakepick’s betrayal. She needed Merula to forgive Rakepick, to feel as though she herself had been forgiven, or deserved to be. Merula, I am so proud to say, came to that conclusion all on her own. She’s learned empathy. 

We arrive outside the Hogwarts grounds with an echoing crack. The walk through the Forbidden Forest is a long one. Three weeks ago, Harry Potter walked through these woods and was killed by You-Know-Who, only to come right back to life. At least, that’s what the stories say. I’d love to know his secret, if he has a Philosopher’s Stone or what. Tonks could have used a trick like that…you could have, too. 

The service is being held by the lakeside in the Creature Reserve, under suggestion from Charlie and Liz. I don’t see either of them, but I do see Rowan. I can’t stop myself, I run to them. They run to me as well. In another split second we’re crying in each other’s arms. 

“When I heard...about the Battle...I wasn’t sure who-who made it. I knew that Tonks…” 

“We’re okay. I’m okay.” I kept repeating to soothe them. “They didn’t get me.” They nearly did, though. That night was a long one, awash with tears and blood. Talbott is still in recovery. So many people died...Barnaby’s parents, unfortunately, died fighting for the wrong side. So he’s been through the ringer as well. I don’t know who landed that particular blow, but at least it wasn’t me. 

Tulip and I had dropped everything when we heard the Death Eaters were trying to take Hogwarts, because Merula was there. She was part of a small squadron of Hit Wizards and Aurors that finally broke away from the corrupt Ministry and defied orders, going to aid the students at Hogwarts while they made their stand. We weren’t going to let her make that stand alone. It wasn’t just us, either. Anyone who was in the area responded to our owl - Penny, Beatrice, Andre, Jae, Chiara, Talbott, Badeea, Ismelda...The Cursed Vault Gang, as Diego always called us, showed up to battle. As did the Cabal, surprisingly. Never thought I’d stand back to back with The Red Cloaks, but I’m not always right. Gail and I still have our issues, but I won’t forget that Remembrance showed up to fight on the right side. 

Tulip came over to hug Rowan as well, followed by Merula. Diego embraced us as well. Together, the five of us made our way east to mingle with the larger crowd. Merula and Diego were talking as Rowan and I also caught up. Tulip managed to find Talbott and Badeea to talk to them as well. 

“Who else...did we lose?” 

My throat feels like it’s shriveled up. “Fred...Fred Weasley. And Tonks’ husband Remus.” I suddenly halt in place,frowning. “I had something I needed to tell him.”

Rowan frowns at me. “You did?” 

I can’t explain it. But...no. I had something to tell him, something important. A message to take. A message I’ll never be able to pass on now. What was it, though? Who asked me to…? 

“Luca! Rowan!” 

It’s Penny. She’s running toward us, followed closely by Beatrice and Elora. Several moments of hugging later, we’re all sitting together under a large tree. It was under this very tree that I first glimpsed Welshie...but one glance at Penny tells me that she’s had it worse than I thought. Worse, even, than her letters indicated. For someone who stopped wearing makeup a year ago, her face is caked. As someone who’s dealt with eye-bags before, I’m not fooled. 

Penny’s now clasped both of us tightly by the hands as if she needs to hold onto someone so as to not keel over. “Do we know where her...her family is?” 

I’m the one to answer this. “She lost her Dad a few months before...I think her Mum is watching Teddy. Harry Potter is Godfather though, so he’ll probably be involved too.” I’ve never met him face to face, but he’s best mates with Bill and Charlie’s youngest brother, and apparently he dated their sister? So he’s got the Weasley stamp of approval, and that’s all I really need to know to trust him. 

Rowan glances around “Her mum, Andromeda...she’s here then?” At this, Penny and I both shrug. I haven’t seen her, and with a blue-haired baby in her arms, she’d be hard to miss. But the Reserve is a large place and the arrivals haven’t exactly congregated yet. I saw people mingling in most areas while Rowan and I were walking - the only place people seem to be avoiding is the darker forest, and considering that it’s the home of the thestrals, I can see why. 

Beatrice and Elora then approach. Elora smiles politely and Beatrice exchanges a look with me. We’re pretty good at communicating without words - and I can tell at once that something’s happened. Then she steps out of the way, to reveal someone else. He must have approached the two of them while Penny was talking to us. 

“Ben!” The three of us jump up to embrace him, and Rowan looks like they’re going to break down again. I’m pleased to say that their relationship is leagues better than it once was. They started writing after he went back to the muggle world and never really stopped. 

“How did you get in? I thought there were enchantments…” 

Ben smirks weakly. “I went here for six and a half years. No disguise is going to fool me. How is everyone?” 

Penny returns the smile mirthlessly. “Been better. Skye sends her love, by the way.” Figures - over a letter, Penny told us that Skye was tied up with the Quidditch season, but I have a feeling it’s something else. After Hogwarts, Skye seemed to drift apart from everyone in the group apart from Penny. Chiara did the same thing, but it was more expected. I feel like Skye might not be as comfortable around us anymore. Which is understandable, but it breaks my heart. Or, it would if there was anything left of my heart to break. 

Ben glances toward Rowan. “Have you seen Charlie? I heard about Fred…” 

Rowan shook their head. “Last I saw, he was with Jae. Didn’t see Chiara though.” This made me frown. It isn’t the Full Moon, is it? No, only half. Chiara wouldn’t miss this, no matter what was going on in her life. Maybe she was just talking to other people. 

Ben now turns his attention to me. There’s a pause as we maintain eye contact. I know what he’s going to ask me before he can say it. I just shake my head. “I wrote her, Ben. I asked her to come. She never got back to me.” His eyes fall gradually. I know he really wanted to see Gail, but...the fact is, Gail isn’t and never was part of this group. I don’t think she’s comfortable around my friends at all. She never knew Tonks well. 

“I just can’t stop...can’t stop thinking about that poor little boy.” Rowan muses quietly. Penny seems to experience another wave of emotion and buries her head in my shoulder. “What’s he going to do?” 

“He’ll have his Gran.” I respond firmly. Our cousin Neville was raised by his Gran and he turned out to be a damn great wizard. “He’ll have his godfather.” I need to try and introduce myself to Harry today, if I get the chance. “And...he’ll have us.” It’s true. No way is Tonks’ son going to be alone. Too many people loved her for that to ever be possible. 

“He’s not the only orphan though.” Ben adds bitterly. “How many kids are going to be without parents? How many did the Death Eaters kill?” The words stab my heart and leave me bleeding. Why did we let him go. Why did we show mercy. If we hadn’t...if we had just sent him to Azkaban...why would even do that, anyway? When Sirius Black was serving for his crime? Jacob, I’ve been over it in my head a thousand times...and I can’t explain it. I don’t know why I spared Wormtail. 

Ben is still gnashing his teeth about all the orphans. I shoot him a look, because Penny is now clutching my arm and silently weeping. “Merula grew up without parents. So did Talbott. It’s awful, and it should never be, but...they’ll be okay. Because of people like the Weasleys.” I’m telling myself this as much as I am telling the others. I need it to be true, and I know that it is true, but I also need it to be true. 

Tulip, Merula and Diego join us not long after that, accompanied by Jae. He’s definitely seen Charlie and Bill, but they’re with the Weasley family right now as well as Andromeda. He also confirms that he arrived with Chiara, that they’re living together again, but he lost track of her not long after they arrived. “She’s been quiet, you know.” Jae murmurs. “I mean, she’s always been quiet, but...ever since the Battle, ever since Tonks and Remus…” 

Penny bites her lip. “There’s still a bit before the ceremony starts...let’s try and find her?” 

Not long after, we’ve split into groups, wandering the various landscapes in search of our silver-haired companion. Tulip is holding my arm as we glance around. Yet every sudden movement we see is just a creature. There are several reunions to be had with old friends, like Penny Jr, the Abraxan. Barnaby Jr, the Bowtruckle. Merula Jr, the Fairy, and...my breath catches as I glimpse a Chimera at the end of the woods. Liz and I spent months wrangling that thing, and I can remember how much she regretted letting me name it, because…

Because…

My breath catches in my throat, but it’s Tulip who greets Tonks Jr. 

However, it’s that moment when a rustling sound breaks my stupor, and a small creature perched up in the tree seems to lose her balance. Falling down onto the grass. It wasn’t a deadly height, but I think her leg might be broken. The impact causes Tulip and I both to jump, and in that instant I recognize two things. One - that the creature is in fact human, a small girl, and two - that Tonks Jr. may be the closest to tame that any chimera’s ever going to get, but instinct can overrule anything. When the little girl falls from her hiding place, Tonks Jr’s posture changes. She’s about to spring. 

Tulip and I dash forward, and she’s quick to put herself between Tonks Jr. and the girl. Our team dynamic is well established by this point, but we unfortunately don’t have our third member at the moment, who provides the real firepower. No matter, Tulip has tricks up her sleeve to quell Tonks Jr., and I haven’t forgotten Mum and Dad’s teachings. I know how to heal a broken bone. 

“Easy now. Just back up. I said back up.” Tulip repeats, adopting the proper poses. Well, actually, she’s gotten them mixed up and is doing the poses for a Manticore, but no matter, it’s close enough. Meanwhile, I’m trying to soothe the little girl, who is looking around with large eyes, petrified into silence. She struggles to move away from me, but I’m able to aim the cedar wand and set her leg. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m here to help. I’m-” Okay, I’m not a Healer, and to say so would be a lie. But it’s a lie that would calm her down and possibly let me do my job to help. “I’m a Healer, see? I can fix your leg…” 

Tonks Jr is now docile. She turns twice in place, growls loudly, and proceeds to wander deeper into the dark forest. Tulip exhales and her posture drops tension. I swear she collapses to the ground in less than a second, and looks over at us. 

“Oi, Tulip? Luca? Where are you? It’s starting!” Merula’s voice rouses my attention. I’ve been trying to communicate non-verbally with the little girl, to soothe her through the healing process. But that’s when my other partner shows up on the scene. Looking between me, Tulip, and the girl. She frowns. “What’s happened, who’s this?” 

“I’m Pip.” 

Time stops. My head snaps back around, unfortunately startling her. I take a moment now, to really look at this child. She’s got a wild mess of dark brown hair, and huge eyes that are just as dark. Clad in ragged grey robes, her face smeared in dirt, she seems to blend right in to the trees around her. But what she said…

“Pip?” I repeat, barely above a whisper. 

The girl gives me a funny look. “Yeah, that’s what my friends call me. What do you care?” She scoots back,biting her lip and moving to occupy her own personal space away from the three of us. “Pip or Pippa. Pippa Scruff. It’s short for Philippa, but if you call me that, I’m punching you in the face. Who the hell are you lot, anyway?” Jacob, it’s always so strange to hear children swear. I mean, Ron and Ginny Weasley were foul-mouthed at ten, which looks to be about the right age range for our little tree-climber, but still. 

Merula tilts her head to the side, and moves in closer. “I’m Merula Snyde. Pureblood and fourth-generation Slytherin.” She jerks her head toward Tulip and me. “This lot though, they’re just mutts.” Tulip rolls her eyes and I smile in spite of myself. Merula loves to introduce us that way. It’s one of our oldest jokes. 

Tulip shakes her head. “You do realize Luca is pureblood too, right?” 

Merula shrugs. “Could have fooled me.” She bats her eyelashes playfully at me, and as per usual my heart skips a beat. 

Meanwhile, Pippa Scruff is looking between all of us warily. “Pureblood and Slytherin? Must be rough for you, now that the war’s over.” A glint of sass in her eyes. Damn, this girl is tough. I like her. Not just because she’s called Pip, Jacob, but that is a part of it. 

Tulip shakes her head. “We fought with the Order.” She rolls up her sleeve to show her lack of a Dark Mark, and Merula and I do the same. Pippa visibly relaxes. 

“What are you doing all the way out here?” I find myself asking as I take a chance, crouching low nearby her. 

“Hiding.” Pippa pushes a hand through her wild mess of hair, subtly scooting further away from us. “Don’t know what they’ll do with me now. Don’t know where someone like me would stand. I’m not exactly pureblood or pure anything.” She laughs, exchanging a glance with each of us as though she’s trying to read us. 

Merula raises an eyebrow. “You a mudbl-I mean, a muggleborn?” She’s been working on that too, Jacob. So have her parents. It’s tough for them, to break years of conditioning, but they’re making progress and I couldn’t be happier, I love her so much. 

However, Pippa catches the slip, and her face slowly darkens. “Maybe. Well...okay, no. Not exactly. It’s...a long story.” 

Merula, Tulip and I all exchange glances. The Service is starting. We can’t miss it - how disrespectful would that be to everyone there, not to mention Remus, Fred, and Tonks? But...there’s a little girl here, by her lonesome. From the looks of her, she’s been living in the wilderness for days. Maybe weeks. At a guess...she’s been out here since the Battle of Hogwarts. “Well, if you want to share...we’re willing to listen. If not though, I get it. But if nothing else, let us take you up to the Hospital Wing.” 

Pippa folds her arms and hugs herself slowly. “Hospital Wing is probably full, I’ll manage on my own.” Oh my god Jacob, she’s you. She wants to do everything herself. Tulip is thinking the same thing, I can tell from the smile she gives me. 

“On your own? How old are you?” 

“Doesn’t matter. What matters is I can handle myself.” Pippa snaps. Merula looks impressed. 

“I’ll bet you can.” She grins genuinely, and steps forward, offering Pippa her hand. “How old, though? You at Hogwarts?” 

Pippa stares at Merula’s hand and doesn’t take it. “Maybe. Maybe not. Don’t know why I’d tell a Slytherin who uses the word mudblood.” I feel myself cringing...Slytherin House has always had an issue, with most of the muggle racism coming from there, but it wasn’t so bad during my days at Hogwarts. Then the second war started. 

Merula stares at Pippa, and I can tell she’s getting angry. “You don’t know a thing about me, kid. You don’t know who I am or what I’ve done to get where I am today. So maybe you should back off.” Self. Control. Jacob, she’s controlling herself so much better than she used to. I can’t stop myself - I go to Merula right there in that moment, embracing and kissing her. Tulip is giggling quietly. For her part, Merula seems taken by surprise, but quite pleased. 

Pippa makes a face. “Look, thanks for healing my leg and all, but…” She slowly gets to her feet. Bad idea, she still needs to rest that leg. “I need to get out of here. Just forget you saw me, please?” 

I glance back at her. She and I lock eyes. “Why?” I mouth quietly, and she glances down. There’s something really bothering her. 

Tulip approaches as well, so the four of us stand in a closer clump. “Tell you what, if you tell us who you’re hiding from, we can help you hide?” Pippa turns around in alarm, backing away from her. Tulip tilts her head. “Parents? I’ve been there. Hardly talk to mine. They never understood me.” There’s a heavy pause, then…

“At least you have parents.” 

An excruciating pause. 

“During the battle, they...my parents died.” Pippa’s eyes fall to the ground. “They were just trying to help me escape. Told me to go on without them. I didn’t want to. I knew they couldn’t protect themselves without magic. I mean, I haven’t started school yet, so it’s not like I’d be any use in a fight, but…” She’s rambling now. Something tells me she hasn’t spoken to another human being in...days, at the very least. “They didn’t have magic at all anymore, so I wanted them to stay with me, but they…” A single tear slides down her cheek. “I think they knew they’d die. The Death Eaters killed so many muggles. They just wanted to make sure I made it.” 

Merula and Tulip exchange a glance, and Merula seems troubled. “So...you are muggle-born then. Look, I’m...I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m...sorry.” Her tone is strained and awkward, but she’s still not used to apologizing very much. 

However, I caught what Tulip and Merula did not. 

Taking a step closer, feeling a strange shiver go down my spine, I make eye contact with Pippa Scruff. “What do you mean...anymore? You said they didn’t have magic...anymore?” It can’t be...could it be? 

Pippa hugs herself again. It seems to be some kind of nervous habit of hers. “My...family used to be magical. At least, they were for a while. They were when they had me. Then when I was about three, my parents’ magic disappeared. I don’t know what happened. But I knew they didn’t stand a chance in the battle, even with those red-robed wizards shielding them…

Tulip grabs my arm. Merula shoots me a sharp gaze. I can feel my heart thundering as I turn to look at both of my partners. Quickly draping an arm around them as we go into a brief huddle, Merula still keeps an eye on Pippa to make sure she doesn’t scarper. The three of us all know what this means, and I suddenly wonder if there’s another reason why Gail didn’t come to the Service tonight.

The Service. We’re already beyond late, but I feel like Tonks would understand. Because this little girl, Pippa or Pip or whatever she likes to be called, isn’t going anywhere. She’s not getting left to fend for herself. You know, Jacob...my partners and I never talked seriously about raising any children. There was one idle conversation a couple of years ago, about a hypothetical future situation - but it didn’t go anywhere. Merula’s feelings about childbirth were a hard no, but Tulip and I also speculated that she might start to feel insecure if we had a baby that shared our blood, but not hers. I don’t know why I’m thinking about all this again, or telling you...but this girl needs a home. She doesn’t have a family. She managed to escape the Cabal. Has there ever been a more kindred spirit? 

It takes a bit of coaxing but we persuade Pippa to come with us. For whatever reason, she seems to take to Merula most, out of all of us. I mean, Tulip made much more of an effort to reach out and I literally healed her leg, but all Merula did was manage to apologize for slipping and nearly using a racial slur. Yet it’s Merula. Merula is her favorite...figures. It’s Bitten all over again. Still, I’ll be the first to admit that she has a unique charm, so I suppose it makes sense. 

We slip back into the service without being noticed, thank Merlin. But before it’s over, Tulip is weeping silently in the background and we’re holding her. I keep my magic eye on Pippa Scruff, surprising her when she tries to sneak off behind my back and I catch her red-handed. Through all this, I’m also trying not to cry myself. Which, knowing me...is a first. 

By the time the service is over, Pippa isn’t trying to run anymore. Not that she could on that leg anyway. No, she’s hiding behind my leg when Penny and Charlie inquire about who she is. We’ve gone from not being trusted to being her protectors. The mind of a child is a wonderful thing. I think Flitwick said that at some point. Speaking of, Flitwick approaches and asks to meet with me. As well as Rowan and Penny. Leaving my partners to care for our little orphan, I set off to his office once again, this time with my friends. 

It’s been years since I paid a visit. And admittedly, it’s nice to see this classroom again, with the high seats and the stack of books Flitwick would always stand on. But soon enough, the three of us are standing around his desk, as he props himself up. 

“Professor, what is it you need?” Penny frowns. Flitwick just shakes his head. 

“First and foremost, I have not been your instructor for several years. You are adults now, the Battle of Hogwarts made that more than clear. I believe we’ve reached a point where you can call me Fillius.” 

It’s probably rude, but I burst out laughing. “No...no. Never gonna happen. Sorry Professor. I love you, you’re the best damn teacher in the world, but...I cannot begin to imagine doing that.” 

Thankfully, Flitwick is quietly laughing as well, straightening out his robes. Rowan is just shaking their head, but I’ve always been able to be direct with Flitwick. I maintain eye contact with him as he continues. “Regardless, I’ve called the three of you here to make an invitation.” He steadies himself on the pile of books, and Rowan frowns. 

“An invitation, sir?” 

Flitwick gives a thin smile. “We’re a little short-staffed these days. We’re going to need a new Potions Master...a new Muggle Studies teacher...and of course, someone to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts.” 

Silence falls, and he stares at us. Rowan’s eyes widen, and Penny claps a hand over her mouth. She slowly lowers her hand and stares at Flitwick. “You...don’t mean…?” 

“I do, Miss Haywood. In all the years I worked with him, Severus hardly ever praised a student outside of Slytherin even when they vastly deserved commendation for their work. Yet even he recognized your talent in Potions. And everyone can well remember your friendly, welcoming attitude. Would you consider applying for Severus’ old post?” 

If anything could have made Penny’s day just an ounce better after the service, I think this was it. She’s flushed, lightly fanning herself and starting to nod. Her eyes are glassy again. “Well I-I’ll need to talk to the wife, you know, see how it might affect living arrangements, but...I’d like that. Very much.” 

Now it’s Rowan’s turn to let the tears fall. They turn to me and hug me, crying into my shoulder. We’re all feeling pretty emotional today. Flitwick tilts his head, waiting for Rowan to turn back to him, but when they don’t, Flitwick clears his throat and speaks to them. “I do not know what your plans are for the near future, Rowan. But if they lead you back to Britain...Hogwarts would be beyond lucky to have your abilities guiding the next generation. Helping carry on Professor Burbage’s legacy, not the drivel that the Death Eaters were spreading.” 

Jacob, Flitwick singled us out. The three of us. He knew exactly who to choose...my only question now is, can he really get this approved? Who’s even in charge at Hogwarts now? That’s when it hits me - McGonagall was Deputy Head during Dumbledore’s era. She’ll be Headmistress now. And if she has an ounce of sense, then she’s chosen Flitwick as her Deputy…

Rowan lifts their head from my neck and turns back to Flitwick. “I have to admit, we’ve been wanting to come back for a while now. The war just made it difficult. But...if everything’s settled down now, well...I’ve missed everyone. I’ve missed you a lot…” I hug them closely, knowing that it’s my turn to face the music. Looking over Rowan’s shoulder, I meet Flitwick’s gaze. 

“I’m...I’m not saying no, Professor. But why would you want me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts? Even if the jinx is gone now, it wasn’t ever my best subject.” I feel my throat closing. “Tonks would have been better.” And she would. She was the best in our year at defensive magic. “Merula or Barnaby or Talbott would be better. Anyone. Why me?” 

That’s when Flitwick did something amazing. That’s when I understood why he opened the conversation with an invitation to be on a first name basis. He smiled slowly. “Because I miss having you around, Luca. So do Minerva and Pomona.” He seriously just made it personal like that. Like it was nothing. “And I know from experience that you’re a protector. I saw it myself - you watched over Ben Copper for years, you watched over Beatrice Haywood…” Yeah, he’s got a point there. “And even when she fought you every step of the way, you did the best you could to watch out for Merula Snyde.” I can’t really argue with this. He doesn’t even know about Pippa Scruff.

Flitwick pauses and hops down from the book stack to approach us. “Severus Snape was a gifted wizard, and I’m relieved to learn that he truly was on our side. But his failure was in his lack of patience. He gave up on students when he could not connect with them. But that’s not going to be a problem for you, Luca. You’re too stubborn. If you were to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, you would never stop protecting our students. In some ways...you remind me of Remus, a little.” 

He just had to bring up Lupin, didn’t he. Well, there’s no way I can refuse now. Not when Rowan and Penny will be here as well. Not when I’ve been looking for a stable job anyway. Not when he compared me to Lupin. 

Lupin...I had to tell him...tell him about. About Sirius! Wait...I had to tell him...that Sirius was innocent! I swore that I would! I promised. How could I...how could I forget that….

For the first time in ten years, I feel a strange, sickening sensation throughout my whole body. A sensation that I didn’t think I’d ever comprehend again. 

I’ve backed away from Rowan, Penny, and Flitwick. They’re looking at me - and I’m looking at them. They seem concerned, but they don’t know the half of it. I stare at Rowan and then look at Flitwick. “This is a complete subject change, but sir...you once told me that you might be willing to reverse a memory charm if you knew what you were looking for.” 

Flitwick frowns. “I...I don’t believe I made any sort of commitment to that. You are referring to the day I gave you the Pensieve?” 

Penny looks between us. “Luca, what’s going on?” I’m grabbing my head. Straining to remember. Why did I agree to spare Wormtail? Why did we just let him go? Sirius warned me - he warned me not to show him mercy. And I understood that…

Raising my gaze to meet Rowan’s eyes behind their spectacles, I address them. “Seven years ago, when we caught up to Wormtail. He begged for mercy.” 

Rowan nods. “We traded Unbreakable Vows. I’ve been thinking about it too. Hope you aren’t feeling as guilty as I am…” They glance down. I look at Flitwick, who’s studying us.    
  


“Professor, I’m not under Invigorium’s Curse anymore. So memory charms...they’d affect me normally, wouldn’t they?” 

“I...I see no reason why they wouldn’t...Luca, what are you suggesting?” 

Rowan has blanched. “You think Wormtail…” 

“I think he did. But wouldn’t it have worn off when he died?” 

Flitwick chimes in. “It would depend on how long the charm was ingrained into your head. But if no one is sustaining it now...that could be why you’re feeling so uncertain. There’s one way to find out…” 

A few moments later, Penny is helping to catch both Rowan and me as we fall forward. Once we described the memory to Flitwick, he was willing to comb our heads. Sure enough...it was fake. It was a fake memory. I guess Wormtail was shrewd enough to realize it would work the second time, once my Mark of Despair was gone. 

Rowan and I are both feeling a little queasy after the fact, but it’s far better than having an unexplained mental illness for five years. I don’t miss that Mark at all, Jacob. I don’t care how powerful it made us. It’s so world breaking - to realize that a memory you’ve reflected on for seven years was never real to begin with. Given everything I’ve learned about Mum after the fact, about her mental issues...was this what it was like for her? You know, maybe she could have been an alright person if she’d just had access to some muggle therapy...but heaven forbid a pureblood do that, right? I really hope You-Know-Who’s defeat means we’ll be seeing some changes in our culture. 

Whatever. At least we can rest easy knowing that it wasn’t truly our fault that Wormtail got away. And rest we will - Flitwick’s orders. He insisted that we go lay down, and promised to let the others know where we were. He’s not a Healer but...he is potentially our new boss, which I can definitely get behind. Penny helps us make our way down the corridor. We’re fine, just a little slack-jawed, so there’s no need for the Hospital Wing. Like Pip said, it’ll be packed anyway. Nah, we’re headed back to the Hufflepuff Basement for old time’s sake. Have a good nap there, that should clear things up. 

When the door opens, the Basement is empty. No. Almost empty. A single person is sitting by herself on the couch, twirling her pendant in her fingers, staring at one of the armchairs with a contemplative look. 

“Chiara?” 

Penny quickly moves further into the room to claim the cushion beside our old friend, pulling her into a hug. Chiara doesn’t resist, but neither does she reciprocate. Rowan and I move further into the room to close the gap and reunite our squad. We take turns hugging Chiara, and after a while she finally returns the embrace weakly. No one speaks for a while, and then-

“She would always sit there. In that armchair…” 

Chiara has hidden her face in Penny’s hair now, but the three of us look at the familiar old chair. Now doubt being used by a new generation of students, but none of us have forgotten the way Tonks would flop down sideways and claim it as her “lazy throne.” We don’t forget. We never forget. I don’t think details like that are ever going to go away. 

It isn’t long before all of us are crying. But that’s okay. Crying is healthy, isn’t it? Maybe I’ve just told myself that my entire life because I can never seem to hold it back. I’m a floodgate, Jacob. And this flood is torrential. 

“She stuck up for me.” I finally feel myself speaking. “All of you did. When Jane was rude to me during the...the House meeting.” Such a lifetime ago. Feels like a storybook, an old tale that didn’t really happen, to a different Luca who hasn’t been truly alive in over a decade. 

Rowan is now sitting on Chiara’s other side, and proceeds to pull me down so I’m effectively laying on the three of them. But at this stage, that isn’t even an odd thing to do. I close my eyes as I listen to their voice. “She gathered the rest of us...when I told her about your trouble sleeping. She spearheaded that night…” 

I remember. The night I came downstairs with Mitten to find the four of them waiting for me. The night I properly comprehended for the first time that I had true friends. And I still do. Not everyone is here, but...we are still here. The survivors. 

Penny rests her arm on my head, since it’s now in her lap. “We tried to solve the mystery of the Raccoon Patronus...and we set up our sleeping cycle…” Thankfully, a smile has cracked her face. Rowan’s eyes light up as well. 

“Which reminds me. Flitwick says we need to lay down and rest. So we should probably head up into the old dorms…” 

Chiara frowns. “Flitwick? Wait, why?” 

Rowan lets out a deep sigh. “Eh...long story. Tell you in the morning. Come on you lot…” They get up, and help Penny and me rise as well. I hesitate, and turn back to Chiara. Offer her my hand. 

She bites her lip. “Luca…” 

I just gaze back at her. “You’re having to deal with it too, Chiara. We all are. But we’re here for you, okay? Just like Jae. Don’t forget that again. We’re always here…” 

Chiara sheds a single tear, and takes my hand. Getting to her feet as well. “Alright, you win…” And for the first time in years, she accompanies us as we head up to the Dorms. This war has been long. In some ways, it’s the second one that we’ve braved. So I think we’ve definitely earned a nap. 

When I wake up, there will be new days ahead. I might be within an inch of spontaneously becoming a parent. Or not. I might become a teacher like Flitwick always wanted, at the school I swore I’d never return to. Or not. Might have Rowan and Penny by my side while I do. Or not. Guess there’s no way to nail down what’s coming. But I’m ready for it. 

Hey Jacob...thanks for listening, all this time. Listening to me ramble. May sound silly, but it always helped. It really did. Even if you’re not physically here, I know you’re with me. Beyond both realms. Taking your carriage into the expanse of the Forest...just like Tonks. 

I love you, 

Luca

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luca loves all you readers too, you know. 
> 
> AHH It's over. It's really over. And boy did this chapter have an interesting ride. I had two drafts on file, one with a time-skip and one without. In the end I sort of merged them? That was tough to figure out, but I had so much I wanted to include. I couldn't leave out the answers for what happened after Luca woke up, but I also couldn't ignore the pink-haired elephant in the room...not with how close Luca was to her. 
> 
> Speaking of elephants in the room...I am aware of what recently occurred in the actual game, during Year Six Chapter 18. I hope getting to see...that character, happy and healthy and well, was potentially therapeutic for anyone still reeling. For those of you who might feel like I let Rakepick off too easy, keep in mind that her story in this fic ended up being vastly different from what her story appears to be right now, in the game. 
> 
> I wanted to demonstrate that The Fawleys truly aren't cursed anymore, hence Wormtail's gambit. It gave a reasonable enough explanation, I think, for why Luca wouldn't have turned him in, and it freed the Fawley family from everything that was hanging over them. Side note: Nina was a wicked and abusive villain, but Luca ain't wrong: If the Wizarding World actually studied mental health, her case might not have gotten as far as it did. #SocialCommentary. 
> 
> Fun fact - I went back and forth on Pippa. I almost, ALMOST didn't include her. In some ways, it felt like such an abrupt halt to the story. But I like to think her background connects her well enough to the plot to be excusable. If I ever do play Magic Awakens, and write a story for it...expect it to be about Philippa Scruff. 
> 
> If I have any regrets at all, I suppose they would go to Gail. When all is said and done, I feel badly about how things turned out for her, and how icy it was between her and Luca in the end - especially after that sweet moment with Jacob in the Mental Realm. I tried, I really did, to give her a happier ending and put her and Luca on better terms. In earlier drafts, she actually showed up at the end, in the Hufflepuff Basement. But it wasn't right - that moment needed to be between Luca and the original badger squad. I don't know, just...every time I tried to give Gail a better ending... it never felt real. Gail is still too loyal to Remembrance. And after what Luca learned, it's just a deal-breaker for them, and their relationship suffered as a result. 
> 
> Okay, I think it's time I signed off now. Thanks again, you guys. Truly. To anyone who gave this story a glance, you've made me a happier person :) See you around!

**Author's Note:**

> I only hope I did this right...I've actually never posted a fan-fiction before, so here goes nothing! Please, pretty please, leave comments and let me know what you think? Obviously, if you enjoyed it, I would love to know, but even if you thought it was abysmal and want to roast me, I welcome that too. Constructive criticism shall be gratefully accepted. 
> 
> Happy Fictober everyone!


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